No Crown Please

IMG_5933Today’s meditation was eleven minutes long and was a combination of a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.   After the advice of my Self Care Saturday reading this week, I was planning to incorporate some selenite and black tourmaline into my meditation, but I forgot.   I’ll do that tomorrow.

The topic of the guided meditation today was about allowing yourself to accept those things you don’t like about yourself, essentially accepting your shadow side, so that you can become a stronger and more completely whole person through the healing that that acceptance inspires.

Tarot of the Sidhe - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of authority and leadership in the form of a “father” figure.  This is the father that rules with an iron fist, and yet always with the best interests of his family in his heart. Strong, and filled with determination, discipline, and control.

I don’t usually consider chaos a part of the Emperor card, but the imagery on this card very much strikes me as… chaotic. It reminds me of the representation of this card in the Japaritze Tarot, where the title of the card is “War” instead of “The Emperor”.

What I see here is chaos. And sacrifice. All for the greater good. And unlike chaos on its own, that is definitely something I feel is a part of the Emperor’s representation.

In this imagery, the flaming emperor’s robes slowly disintegrate into detritus on the earthen floor, creating the nutrients to grow fruit and other foods for the village in the distance. It’s true what they say that heavy is the head that wears the crown, for he burns with his responsibilities, and fulfills them by giving away pieces of himself and what is his.

The message here in this card today is to be grateful I am not the Emperor, and a reminder that that is not a position I want to be in. I put my all into the things that I hold dear and feel are my responsibilities, but I don’t want to give so much that it damages me in the process.


#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How might clinging to that expectation of the healing process hinder my healing?

Tabula Mundi In Minima

Reading Summary: There’s no rest involved (Four of Swords Rx), creating a lack of true progress (Ten of Cups), which then leaves me having to start over (Ace of Disks).

Take Away:  My expectation (which was outlined in yesterday’s reading) is to fast, which means I don’t get the rest I need to heal properly.  Healing requires rest, and without the healing you can’t move forward out of the recovery stage and into something better.  This means that when you rush healing from trauma, the healing ends up incomplete and you end up having to start over.


#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Do Spread #2
Is my aunt moving out here from out east going to cause more problems between my mother and I?

Encore TarotReading Summary: Stand strong and stable (Four of Coins) in your place of power (Palace of Wands) and don’t allow her to take over (The Chariot).

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that in order to keep the peace, using my business as an excuse for lack of contact is the best strategy to make sure I’m able to keep my distance, regardless of the new proximity. So the answer here is that it is possible, but I have a good chance of circumventing a lot of the issues by using my responsibilities to the business to keep me from having to increase my exposure with the unpleasantness too many visits with my aunt and her toxicity.


Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I further strengthen my connection to the divine?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary:  Make yourself comfortable (Four of Pentacles). Less harsh judgments (Judgement), more hope (The Star). Allow yourself to open up not just spiritually… but also physically (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is about increasing my meditation practice, and making sure I stay on top of keeping my negative self narrative in check. By increasing the intent in my meditation and taking time to allow myself to not just do the meditation but really sink into it and get comfortable in it each time, I am opening myself up to divinity on a bigger and more significant level than the simple meditation that I regularly do each day.

By the same turn, my negative self talk is something that closes me off from both my inner self as well as from the divine.  So if I want to connect more strongly to the divine, it makes sense that I would need to foster more positive connections to both my spirituality and optimism, and let go of the negative self narrative that is one of my most self destructive habits.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I be kinder to myself and to others?

Alan Tarot

To Be Kinder to Myself
Two of Spades, Five of Spades

To be kinder to myself, I need to make a concentrated and conscious choice to move past what makes me so cruel to myself. These judgements and negative self talk are not mine but belong to a place in my past where I had no control and was other the boot of another. Defeat the echoes of his voice in my head, and take away the spoils (your gained wisdom).

To Be Kinder to Others
Knight of Spades, Page of Hearts

To be kinder to others, I need to remember to take my experiences with pain and carry them forward into a place of understanding and warmth when dealing with others.  I’ve been through a lot, and this allows me a place of not just sympathy, but also empathy, with a lot of situations others are dealing with. Instead of looking at these situations as “I made it through, so can you” a better aspect to look at is to try and remember how I felt in these situations in the moment, and conveying to them that I understand what they’re going through and it’ll be okay.


One thought on “No Crown Please

  1. Though you handle responsibility well and you can pull off a position of authority for short periods of time(and rather well) it is not in your wheelhouse to maintain that position and responsibility. It becomes heavy and burdensome and overwhelming.

    Which is why our dynamic works so very well. I -can- hand over the power for short periods, if not for long and that is just enough to feed that need in you before you are ready to hand it back(or have it taken back)

    As far as your aunt goes, you should definitely do whatever is necessary to stay away. Far away from that woman and her nastiness. Whether you use the excuse of work or no excuse at all and just a simple…no thanks, you need to avoid her as much as you possibly can.

    Just because she may be moving to the same city as you does NOT mean you are obligated to socialize with her. She is not pleasant to be around and she treats you like shit, so she doesn’t have the right to be making demands on you. AT ALL

    I love you, precious. SO much

    Liked by 1 person

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