Take Your Time

Today’s meditation was supposed to be twenty minutes long, but I ended up dozing off in the middle of it and it turned into a nearly three hour nap instead.   I’ll give it another go before sleep tonight.  I’m pretty sure I got at least ten minutes in, but I can’t be positive.  A second practice before bed won’t hurt anything.

Four of Swords - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is about rest and recuperation.

What I see in this card is the value of taking time to sit and think.  Not just the value of rest and recuperation, but in allowing your mind to roam and restore.  The allowance to mull things over and let time slide by as you do so, rather than demanding the answers now and pushing forward, always forward.

I’m always pushing forward, but today I took some time for myself.  I relaxed and watched some tv.  I meditated, and napped a bit more than I’d planned.   I loused about and played games on my phone.   Most of these things are not things I allow myself all that often, or at least I don’t openly allow myself to accept them without recriminations.   Today, though, I gave myself these small pleasures and did my best to not put myself down for them or the time spent with them.


#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
: What is my current relationship with creativity?

Circle of Life Tarot

Reading Summary:  Stagnant (Hermit) due to a waffling on choices (Two of Swords) has left me feeling a bit apathetic and unable to see the good/joy of creativity (Five of Cups), which is swiftly (Eight of Wands) spiraling me down into feelings of scarcity (Five of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Usually, my creativity is very free flowing and constantly pushing through me like an inner light.   Since my issues with that letter came in, and the self doubt that letter and the fear it created sparked up in me, my creativity has been very much blocked, though.  It feels heavy and I’m struggling with it a bit, to be honest.


#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Dame Darcy's Queen Alice Tarot

Reading Summary: Now is the time to go for it (Knight of Wands) concerning those new ideas I have (Ace of Swords) about my financial portfolio and establishing more solid financial footing (King of Pentacles).

Take Away: There’s some taxes stuff I’ve been putting off and a few ideas I’ve had for directing money in a different direction, but I’ve been putting it off as it hasn’t felt like the right time.  From these cards, it sounds like now is the time and I should hop to it.


Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
: Wash Away / Invigorate

Prisma Visions Tarot v5Wash Away :  It’s time to wash away the energies of winter that have been dragging me down and holding me back.  These energies didn’t serve me then and are not serving me now, it’s time to allow a fresh clean breeze to blow through and clear them out.

Invigorate :  Invigorate the industrious energies of spring. It’s time to start moving forward instead of wallowing in stagnation.



Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?


EarthTemperance, Knight of Swords, Fox – Don’t get to cocky in bounding forward after my goals this week. Not all of the obstacles will be of my own making and I might need some cunning and careful planning to make things come out in my favor.

Air – The Tower, Page of Swords, Seed – Bright ideas will abound this week, but make sure you do your homework and spend the week preparing, rather than jumping on board right away, in order to ensure these ideas don’t fall apart before they can even get started.

WaterTwo of Cups and Ship – You need to take this week to connect with and communicate with Gideon, and allow him to participate in finding balance for you.  It’s time to open up. Stop hiding.  You (and both, as well) can’t move forward until you do.

FireAce of Cups and Bridge – Communication (as outlined in the previous cards in this spread) will assist in creating a reconciliation and foundation for new and better things to rise up in the weeks ahead.

WaningTrust – You need to move away from a position of blind faith for the week ahead.  Things are not going to fix themselves, and nothing is going to get resolved unless you are willing to do more than remaining inactive and waiting. 

WaxingThe Three Poisons – You need to lean into self awareness this week.  Accept that you have faults and take steps to mitigate their effects on not just other’s lives but also your own. This does not mean being down on yourself and your faults and beating them into submission.  Instead, to defeat one’s faults requires killing them with kindness and understanding.

Take Away – Communication and allowing Gideon to dig is the theme of the week.  It’s time to excavate the issues still lingering and get them out into the open, whatever those issues may be.



Finding the Path Forward

IMG_2723Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon not allowing yourself to get so caught up in “following the herd” that you lose track of your own autonomy.

This is not something that I have a problem with, but it is a trap that I see people fall into all the time.  Peer pressure is a real thing, and just because it’s not something I personally find myself swayed by doesn’t mean that it’s not permeated in those around me.  I see people all the time do things that they readily admit are not right for them… but yet do them anyway because it is expected of them or they have been pressured into it.

Perhaps I am simply too stubborn?  It is not as if I haven’t experienced such pressures.  My father pushed them on me on a daily basis…. I just chose not to let them influence my choices.   Then again, I am the one that constantly thinks nothing I do is quite good enough, yes?  So maybe he managed to wriggle his way in there after all.

Three of Clouds - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is the Three of Clouds, which is the equivalent of the Three of Swords in the regular RWS tarot.

Although in this imagery I see the jagged rocks like ragged teeth chomping at the sky, a dangerous and deadly peril to all that try to pass through them… what I also see is the ripple of light upon the water.

The message in today’s draw is that even in the roughest of times, even when things look their darkest and the struggle is at its greatest, there is still hope.   There is still a light that will guide you forward, even in those hardest of times.  Like the rippling light on the water’s surface shows the way to shore, there is a path to freedom from these difficult times, sometimes you just have to be willing to take your time to get there.


#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
: How can I improve my relationship with my work?

Stretch Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to spend more time looking at my work as fun (Knight of Wands) and allow the spark of joy creating can give (Knight of Cups) carry me away (The Chariot).

Take Away:  When I went through the month of January saturated in the effects of my buried fear tucked down deep within my gut?  I lost a lot of the joy that comes with my work and the creative process.  To have a better relationship with my work, I need to focus on rediscovering that joyful spark that creativity and manifestation of beautiful things can give me.


#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2
How can I ease my recent increase in anxiety?’

Hush Tarot

Reading Summary: Let it out (colors flow from dark to light to red, speaking of a transition from mellow and murky to a chaos of… outburst.  This impression is further reinforced by the Owl that seems to protect and shelter, and then the one crow in freedom before the trio that are in chaos.   These patterns follow what it feels like to me to go from holding something inside, to deciding I need to let it out, to the chaos of actually allowing whatever it is out into the open to speak about it with others.

There is also the element within the first card that speaks not just of shelter but danger.  The mouse clings for dear life.  The skull is buried and embedded within the clock.  You can only box things up for so long.    In the second card the bird is among the weeds looking out at freedom.  In the third, freedom has been found, but in order to find it, there is a need to accept chaos and allow it to run its course.

Take Away:  If I want the anxiety I’ve been experiencing lately (especially in the morning when waking up) to ease, I need to stop suppressing the things that are bothering me and get them out in the open. It will feel uncomfortable and chaotic, but sometimes the calm of suppression is far worse for you.


Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
: When am I a fish out of water? / When am I in my element?

WWI Propaganda Posters TarotWhen am I a fish out of water? :  Rivalry and competition cause me to retreat in exhaustion.  Although I am able to hold my own just fine, it brings me no joy or sense of accomplishment.

When am I in my element? :  When helping others.  I feel a deep sense of peace and accomplishment when I am able to help others and find ways to assist them on their path.



Ride It Out Instead of Fighting

IMG_2713Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was focused upon worrying and how it can so often be a useless endeavor.   I see worry spiral out of control all the time.  Somehow, I seem to attract people that have a worrier’s mind.  They pick up a worry like it’s a tiny little seed, and in their mind it takes root and grows like an invasive species until it fills up every nook and cranny of their minds.

This type of worry isn’t helpful, although some of those “what ifs” can come in helpful in preparing for the unknown.   But what it really does is raise anxiety and work the person up to the point that they can’t sleep and can’t get their mind onto anything else.

I have to admit, though… my own habit of ignoring issues is also not good.  The key is to find a happy medium.

Five of Wands and Six of Wands - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards came out together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Five of Wands and the Six of Wands (and, yes, this deck is very, very thoroughly shuffled).

What I see here in the cards is that sometimes you have to surrender to the chaos.   I don’t really do “chaos” all that well.  Change?  Sure… it’s difficult but I’m okay with riding it out.  Chaos, on the other hand…. I do not ride out very well.  It causes a lot of stress and anxiety and is just all around unpleasant.

BUT… it happens.  It may actually even be necessary for human development and progress.  I just need to remember that when it comes calling, not to fight so hard against it.  It’s natural… it’s temporary… and it’ll be okay.


#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
: What is my relationship with my work?

Oriens Tarot

Reading Summary: When I look at this spread, I see an undercurrent of the depths of the sea within the cards on either side, and the lifting up and surfacing of the center cards as being on a layer above.    Lower layer is cold, hard sea…. upper layer (center cards) is the rising to the surface and the light.

In juggling responsibilities (Two of Pentacles) and that inner spark of new inspirations (Ace of Wands),  I am working on rising above and letting go (Eight of Cups) of  what isn’t working and is holding me back from my aspirations (Ten of Pentacles Rx).


#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
: What is one of my least positive qualities?

Britt's Third Eye Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m a bastard about telling myself that I’m not doing well enough and or not contributing enough.  These cards are in reference to my self-judgement (Judgement) of my performance and abilities (Knight of Swords), and my inability to ever accept that I’m doing enough (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away: Accurate.  I’m actively working on being more accepting of myself and the products of my skills and abilities, and yet.. I am very much my own worst critic.  The cards are calling me out on this specifically in relation to my work and the product of my work.


Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
: Elevate this / Calm the fuck down here

The Hide TarotElevate This :  This card speaks of playing to my strengths concerning helping others.  This is something that brings me a lot of enjoyment and a great deal of pleasure.  I like helping others find what’s right for them, and helping them find their path.   This card speaks to that ability, and my enjoyment of it.

Calm the fuck down here :  Ease up on myself concerning my accomplishments.  The cards have told me this a lot lately, but I need to accept that I don’t have to do everything at once, and nothing requires being done right this instant.  It’s okay to take my time and take things slow.



Today’s meditation has yet again been non-existent.  I just didn’t sleep well last night and lying down to do it was a bad idea considering everything I needed to get home today.  Clearly that was the best choice, as when I took a “short nap” after getting home?  I overslept by a whole two hours.   I’ll try to meditate before sleep tonight when I crawl into bed, but I really need to get back on top of doing this first thing in the morning.

Nine of Trees - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Trees.  I have a hard time remembering the suits in this deck, but the elemental symbol indicates that this is the fire suit (wands).  That said, I did my read off of the card before my brain kicked in to work that out.

What I see in today’s card is a build off of yesterday’s message about keeping i mind the long term view and goals and not getting too caught up “in the moment”.   When I see that tree standing strong and tall on the cliff, it also makes me think of taking the long view.

It’s about the strength that is built over time and perseverance.  Struggles and strain happens, but by working through them you build strength.  Stress is not necessarily good for you… neither are car accidents, violent attacks, etc.   BUT, they do benefit you in building upon your strength and giving you a chance to grow and develop from these hardships.   That is true for communities as well.


#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
: How can I improve my relationship with the present?

Button Soup Tarot

Reading Summary:  Don’t allow moments of self doubt and lack of faith (The Star Rx) cause so much stress and strain (Nine of Wands) that I retreat into myself (Hermit) or you will end up feeling overwhelmed and burnt out (Seven of Wands Rx).

Side Note: I don’t usually read reversals, but with this deck… it just felt right.   So I left them in.  It’s something about how the imagery changed in the upside-down position.

Take Away:  The pattern mentioned in the cards is something that is very common for me and I need to watch out for it and make sure I don’t end up tripping over that pitfall.


#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
: What in my life makes me feel the most thankful at this time?

Sola Busca Revisited Tarot

Reading Summary:  The opportunities presented to me to improve my way of life (Knight of Coins), and the help of my friends to assist me in that and uplift me (Three of Cups) when I am feeling overtaken and overwhelmed (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  I really do have an amazing support system of people who care about and love me to help me in times of need, whether those times are when I am pushing towards my goals, or in times when I am feeling things have gotten out of control.


Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
: Where can I be more creative? / Where am I being deluded?

Golden Klimt TarotWhere can I be more creative? :  I need to remember what the shrink said when I went to visit her. Maybe now isn’t the best time to restructure how I am doing the business.  With the fear thing and feeling overwhelmed, adding that other aspect and smothering out my creative spark is probably not the best course of action.

Where am I being deluded? :  This pretty much carries over from the previous card.  I’ve taken off a bigger bite than I’m able to chew and I need to step back and look at taking smaller steps… smaller bites… and not expecting everything to be done immediately.   Allow myself a longer time-frame for getting things done.



The Long View

Today’s been kind of a clusterfuck of a day, and I haven’t managed to meditate yet, although I did give it a couple of tries throughout the day.   I will try for it again when I go to bed here in a bit.

Seven of Pentacles - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Seven of Pentacles, which I felt was pretty fitting for today considering the drama that went on (and has been going on over the last few days) on the Discord server.

The appearance of the Seven of Pentacles is to remember to take the “long view” of the situation and the community as a whole.   Yes, there’s drama right now… but it’s temporary.   The building and maintaining of a community is more than just a moment or a few days.  It’s built over time and adaptation and it’s a learning process.   Over time, that community grows and evolves, develops and strengthens.  Part of that process is the times of drama and difficulty.

The card is a reminder that the drama is temporary, and the focus needs to lie on what’s ahead and what is being built, instead of getting too wrapped up in the moment.


#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
: What is my relationship with the present?

Hush Tarot

Reading Summary: There is a resistance to change going on (Six of Swords), and although I’m longing inner happiness and trying to find the path to seeking it (Nine of Cups, I’m having trouble letting go and it’s making moving on a struggle (Five of Cups). I might need to look at balancing the negatives and positives of the moment, rather than trying to overcome the negatives involved (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The reading is about roadblocks and hurdles.  It’s about struggling to find a way forward and having trouble with moving forward. I’m still feeling quite stuck, even after identifying the fear issue.  That struggle is reflected in the cards, along with the suggestion of a different perspective concerning it (ie: balance as opposed to trying to overcome).


Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?


EarthQueen of Pentacles and 8 of Clubs / Moss Woman (Tread Carefully) – You have somewhere to be and some fierce energy to get you there, but you need to remember to take it slow and careful.  Your steps toward stability and a place of comfort and ease are going to take some time.  Don’t rush it.

AirSeven of Spears and 4 of Clubs / Faerie Collector (Luck) – You might feel like you need to play defense this week, but remember that luck is on your side and as long as you keep your stable footing, everything is going to be okay.

WaterThe Hermit and 3 of Hearts / Beauty in the Bark (Dangerous Emotions) – Don’t allow yourself to sink into feelings of being the “odd man out” in group situations this week. That feeling creeps up at the most unexpected times, but it’s a lying whisper in your ear and not based in reality.

FireTwo of Spears and 5 of Clubs / Faerie Magic (Energy Power) – There’s going to be some opposition during the week, but just stay on task and keep your goals in mind as you go forward into the week. Plow forward and you’ll leave the struggles in your dust.

WaningGinkgo – Work on letting go of the past and letting go of the issues that were spurred from past trauma.  Holding onto these memories and emotions isn’t doing you (or anyone else) any good.

WaxingBaobab – Take refuge in the present and don’t push too hard towards the future this week.  It’s okay to take some time and savor the now.

Take Away –  This week is a time of transition.  The fear from the letter, the issues with father that were raised in the fall, all of these things need to be set aside.  Not buried, but set aside.  It’s not as easy as it sounds, but something’s gotta give, and it’s better to release than have bones shatter by holding on too tightly.


Creativity Challenge Prompt

One of the things I do for the Discord server that I moderate is I’m in charge of what used to be the “Weekly Writing Prompt” challenge.   That recently expanded to include creativity of all sorts.

This week’s challenge is…

Create an additional card to add to a tarot deck you own.
(Example: A 23rd Major Arcana card or a 0 card to add to one of the Minor suits.)
Use any form of artistic expression you wish to create your response.
(Ex: drawing, painting, digital artwork, collage, scrapbooking, etc.)

Now, I need to precursor the results of this project by saying that I haven’t picked up a pen, pencil, or marker with the intent to draw anything in… it’s been at least five, maybe closer to eight years.   And I haven’t picked up a paint brush in at least ten or twelve years, maybe more.   So… I don’t think I did too bad, all things considered.

HungryThe Hungry

There was once a dragon that pissed off a wizard and as a result was transformed into a flower that resides within the wizard’s back yard.

If you find yourself visiting an old rickety house some day with a haint blue door and shutters the color of poppy flowers, check the back yard. Are there mangled and rusted metal parts half buried out there? If so, take care not to walk too close to the flowers.

And keep your shoes on!


Is It Okay…?

This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about the questions people ask as they are becoming acclimated to a new belief system and/or faith.

Topic for the Week of 2/10:  from Jenni B – “Is It Okay…” in your path!
“The main questions I keep seeing in some of the groups I’m in are ‘is it ok…’ questions. ‘Is it ok to buy my own tarot deck?’ has been coming up a lot recently. ‘Is it ok to have a temporary altar?’ , ‘is it ok to keep my altar in a box/ cupboard /particular room?’. One that really boggled my brain recently was ‘is it ok to cut my own hair’ …??? It might be interesting to have the hosts answer the general question of ‘is it ok…?’ within their tradition. Most of the time people who ask these sort of questions in the groups will get the answers ‘yes if it works for you’ or ‘yes if it isn’t hurting anyone’. I don’t know if there is much difference between the answers people would get from the traditions represented on the channel but it seems to be a common anxiety out there for a lot of people. “


Is it okay to buy my own tarot deck?
Is it okay to not read reversals?
Is it okay to not cut the deck before pulling tarot cards?
Is it okay to not cleanse my cards?
Is it okay to have a temporary altar?
Is it okay to keep my altar in a box/ cupboard /particular room?
Is it okay to not have an altar?
Is it okay to cut my own hair?
Is it okay that I don’t feel connected to deity?
Is it okay to include personal items in ritual?
Is it okay to not chant, sing, or rhyme in ritual?
Is it okay to cast spells without intricate, detailed rituals?
Is it okay to not use candles/incense/crystals/etc in ritual and/or spellwork?
Is it okay to use plastic/glass/etc in rituals and/or spellwork?

I’ve run into all of these questions and many more.   The thing is?   I don’t see faith as rigid.  That is whether that faith is in tarot, in religion, in spellwork, etc.  It’s not rigid.

Yes, certain rules of nature are rigid.  Certain ethics (for me) are rigid.

But none of the questions above fall into those categories.  In every single case?  In my belief system it would be completely up to the individual and what feels right for them.

There is a massive amount of autonomy in my faith.  It’s about what feels right to you. What fits you.  For me that includes a good deal of respect for the earth, the green, and nature’s creatures.  For me, this involves strict adherence to my the directives of both my moral compass and my intuition.   If my gut says no?  Then it’s no.  Period.  Whether I wish the answer was yes or not, whether I feel like it should be yes or not, whether other people insist it’s okay or not.  If my gut says no?  The answer is no.

This goes beyond how I practice, where I practice, or what I use in my practice.  It goes into everyday life and everyday choices, because if I can’t trust my intuition in ALL times and ALL things, it won’t speak as loudly when I need it to.

So my answer to “Is it’s okay… ?” is two fold.  Do you feel that it is a morally and ethically sound decision?   And does your gut say yes?  Or no?

If the answer is no?  Then maybe it’s time to examine things more closely and figure out why.  Or maybe just take it as “no” and look for a method/path/way of doing things that fits better for you.

Stepping Stones

IMG_2513Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long, and was a guided meditation on projecting loving kindness first to yourself, and then outward to others.  It starts out by projecting loving kindness to yourself, then to someone you care about, then to someone hateful and/or that you dislike or has hurt you, and then beyond them to everyone and the world.   You then reverse the process back the other way so that you end with again projecting loving kindness to yourself.

The first time that I did this practice, I had a bit of a numbing in the directing loving kindness toward myself, and I struggled a good deal when trying to project loving kindness to someone hateful. I wouldn’t have known this if it wasn’t that the projecting loving kindness to someone you love wasn’t mixed in, but there was definitely a stark contrast.

Interestingly, in doing the same method today?  I didn’t seem to have as much difficulty as the first time.  There was still a bit of disconnect with the self, and difficulty with the disliked person part… but it wasn’t half of the struggle that it had been the first time.

Steward of Stone - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is the Steward of Stone, which is the equivalent of the Page of Earth/Pentacles.   I’ve been getting this card quite a bit of late.  It is traditionally a representation of an omega energy, personality, or person in the areas of finances, resources, manifestation, and the physical world.  That representation often translates into themes of financial opportunity as well as skill development and manifestation through skills one already impresses that are improving.

The appearance of the Steward of Stone in today’s draw has to do with the meeting with my financial advisor this afternoon.  We did some restructuring of my finances, and there was definitely a great deal of learning involved as I did some adjustments in how I handle my money and where my money is being allocated.  Some of the changes I made and methods learned about today will further my goal of manifesting that stability I crave.


#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
: How can I improve my relationship with my community?

Queen Alice Tarot by Dame Darcy

Reading Summary: Continue to be generous with my contributions (Six of Pentacles) and providing direction (Two of Wands) to assist others in satisfaction and stability (Four of Cups atop The Fool).

Take Away:  Interestingly, the first two cards in this spread are the same cards that showed up in what my relationship is with my community yesterday.  I take this as saying that what I contribute is needed and I should keep going in that direction.  And perhaps stop looking down on my contributions so much, because they are effective even if not recognized by my own psyche as having worth.


#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

Dixit Cards 10th Anniversary Edition

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess who was constantly in the public eye and being told what to do (First Card).  One day she angered a witch (Second Card), who turned her into a cat in a cage (Third Card). But, little did the witch know that when the transformation happened this provided the princess with more freedom (Also Third Card) than she ever had before, as this allowed her to secretly escape into the night each night to have grand adventures out in the world (Fourth Card).


Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
: What makes me want to scream? / What makes me content?

The Binding of Elijah TarotWhat makes me want to scream? : Chaos.  The drop.  I think this is pretty common for most people.  I thought it was very apt that this card showed up for this question.  It doesn’t really matter what the chaos is about, any kind of chaos will send me into a mess of anxiety if I let it.

What makes me content? :  Independence and determination for those things that spark my passion and drive.  I was expecting a different answer here, but actually?  This is perfect.  Because when I don’t have that sense of independence that allows me to do as I want when I want?  I definitely am not content.  It is even the very first line that I drew in the sand within our relationship, that need for autonomy.  I never really thought about it before, but…. yep.  Perfect.