#10UnusualThingsAboutMe (non)VR to The Hermit’s Cave

Recently, Simon over at the Hermit’s Cave on YouTube did a video about “10 Unusual Things About Me” that, just this last Saturday he revisited in his Cuppa Catchup and Cards live to expand on.   I loved this idea, although I’ve had a LOT of trouble coming up with ten.  But, I did finally make it, so I thought I’d share.


1)  My absolute favorite treat is Orange Vanilla Swirl ice cream while eating Cheetos Puffs. 

Contrary to popular belief, this has nothing to do with the color.   I just like the two flavors together.  It’s really good.

2)  I am a non-theist.

A lot of people have a hard time understanding how I can be a Pagan but also a non-theist.  Essentially, I worship the earth and the energies of the earth, focusing specifically on the energies of creation, evolution, and balance.

As for why…. I grew up in a Wiccan/Buddhist household, and was raised under those faiths, but the deity aspect always felt unnecessary to me. I don’t feel a connection to deity or even a kinship to the idea of deity. I never have, even as a child.  It just didn’t feel right. So once I left my parent’s home, I phased that aspect out of my practice in order to better fit my faith to me.

3) I can whisper, but I cannot speak.

I am mute due to injury to my trachea and larynx that happened during a home invasion.  I cannot whisper loudly, but I can whisper.  It does not carry well, and from what I understand it’s pretty inscrutable over the phone (it just sounds like a disrupted exhale), but in a quiet and intimate setting?  It works.

4) I prefer to do my divination outdoors and barefoot.

This is about balancing my energy, as I get a far better connection to the earth and its grounding energies if my feet are not encased in shoes.  It’s not necessary, but it is my preference.

5)  I am 100% certain of the existence of the Fae.

This is not a belief, but a certainty. The Fae are not tiny beautiful humanoid creatures full of love and light. If you are interested, take a look at the Faeries’ Oracle by Brian Froud and you will get a small sampling idea of the vast array of different Fae in the world.

6)  I put potato chips inside my meat sandwiches.

Plain potato chips, sour cream and onion chips, barbecue chips, Doritos (cool ranch or regular cheese), Sun Chips….. there’s a variety of different kinds I’m willing to use.  But I like them IN the sandwich so that I get the crunch and flavor when I take a bite.

7) For public safety, I cannot listen to public radio while driving.

I have synesthesia, which means that there are some wires crossed in my brain that (in my case) causes my senses to sometimes interpret sounds as (most commonly) physical sensation, and occasionally as having a flavor or scent.

When driving, I listen to pre-screened music from off of my phone that I know I will not have negative reactions to.  Public radio does not give me that ability to pre-screen the songs, which means when listening to it I run the risk of having an uncomfortable or even painful twitch or reaction to something in the music (or commercials, for that matter) that could cause me to end up having an accident.

8) Even though I am mute, I don’t speak ASL (sign language).

Honestly?  I did try to learn it at first, but it’s pretty damn useless, or at least feels that way to me.  I don’t know any deaf people, and nobody I know or run across has a clue how to speak or understand ASL.   So, because of that I haven’t bothered to learn it.

Instead, I tend to communicate through typing words into a document on my phone or  using text-to-speech apps, and I carry a small memo pad with me the majority of the time in case my phone’s battery dies.

9) I have leaves on the bottom of my feet.

I used to be a cutter, which was one of the ways I dealt with negative emotions and thoughts directed for myself.  I did not cut my arms or legs, or anything like that.  Instead I had a “cutting kit” of Xacto blades and first aid supplies, and I used these tools to cut vine and leaf designs into the bottoms of my feet, which scarred into a permanent (if incomplete) scarification.

A handful of years ago, I stopped cutting as a way to deal with emotions, and I gifted my cutting kit to you for safekeeping.  I have no doubt you still have it.  I have not done any cutting on myself since.

10) I deconstruct my food.

This is something I have always done, but I’m not sure when it started or why.  This is especially prevalent when it is food that I enjoy and want to savor.   I like to take the food apart (usually with my hands) and enjoy each element of it individually.  If it’s something I’ve had before, I will then organize which part I eat first to last depending on what I like least to the part I like most.

An Optimistic View

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was incorporated into my yoga/physio routine.   When I do yoga first and then settle into the meditation after, it seems to create a sense of accomplishment to my routine that I don’t get otherwise.   That said, although it creates this sense of accomplishment, I don’t feel as if I get as much out of these meditation sessions as I do from guided meditations.

Or… maybe I’m just missing the guided meditations, as I haven’t been doing them all that often lately.

The Fool - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is The Fool card of the Major Arcana.   I love this card for the Fool because it has the feeling of beginnings in a way that I think a lot of cards lack.   Yes, there’s an end to that cliff, but looking out over the horizon, there is a vast array of possibilities that the artistry speaks of for me.

And that is the message of the card in today’s draw.  The Fool makes an appearance today to remind me that life is a journey, and each day presents new possibilities to discover and explore.  It’s okay to look at the world with a sense of wonder and set aside pessimism to take a deep breath and appreciate all life has to offer.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: How can I keep my actions aligned with my goals throughout the year?

Bohemian Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed (Ten of Fire) and focus on staying optimistic (The Sun), proactive yet well grounded (Knight of Earth) while taking the time to be kind to yourself and others (The Goddess).

Take Away:  These are all things that are a bit of a challenge to me.  I have a habit of stacking too much on my plate, being pessimistic, and allowing myself to be unkind to myself.  These traits will be a hindrance to staying on track with my goals this year if I don’t stay on top of them.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: Draw 3 cards to tell the story of what you would do for a Dove Bar. (Had to change it from Klondike bar, cuz those things are nasty.)

Textured Tarot

Reading Summary: Dive to the deepest of depths (Ten of Swords), and fly to the highest of heights (The Sun), and use all of my substantial skillz to get what I want (The Magician). WahhhHaHaHa!!!  (LoL… Sounds like a Celine Dion song, yeah?)

Take Away:  Honestly?  Dove Ice Cream Bars are, hands down, the most amazing ice cream bars on the planet.  No contest.  I’ve tried them all and they are far and above the winner out of them all.  That said?  I intentionally drew these cards with humor in mind, and they didn’t disappoint. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How will I know I’m improving concerning my procrastination habit?

Ethereal Visions Tarot

Reading Summary:  Less issues with being upset with myself (Three of Swords), less struggles and more of a sense of accomplishment (Six of Wands atop the Seven of Wands), and obviously I’d be getting my work done (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  When I let things pile up because of procrastination, the longer it goes on the worse I feel about myself and life in general.  By keeping up with tasks and not allowing them to pile up, I’m able to release the sense of struggling to move forward as well as that sense of disappointment in myself and embrace a sense of accomplishment.   It’s also a pretty obvious and telling sign that I’m improving if I’m actually getting things done and feeling on top of my work and projects.


Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Self Care Saturday - January 18

EarthKing of Pentacles and Hope – Brunfelsia americana (the flower in this card) is a representation of manifestation of good things. Combined with the King of Pentacles, the cards here are telling me to focus on the positives in the week ahead and in doing so, good things will come forward for me to meet that focus and fulfill it.

AirEight of Wands, Intuition, Creation – Datura discolour symbolises meditation and the lifting of creative blocks, and Hemerocallis liliosaphodelus symbolizes fertile abundance. This week is going to be a week of quick growth and abundant ideas. Be sure not to get so carried away in the enthusiasm of it all that you lose sight of the end goal.

WaterFive of Pentacles and Death – Datura metel symbolizes loss and endings. Combined with the Five of Pentacles, I get the impression that this week will be a bit rough emotionally. The Five of Pentacles also is a reminder that when in the grip of these emotions, it is important to remain aware to the help that can be had if I am willing to reach out for it. It may be possible to circumvent the brunt of these unpleasant feelings by reaching out and securing that help from others before hand.

FireKing of Wands and Release – Lonicera japonica is a representation of emotionally “letting go” and going with the flow concerning changes. Joined with the King of Wands, I feel that there is something I am passionate about that may require an adjustment to my views or a letting go of either for the time being, or permanently. This position ties into the water position concerning how I am going to feel during the transition going on this week.

WaningProtection – Tying into the cards above, this card speaks of something slipping through the cracks in my walls.

WaxingInnocence – As the walls crumble and let in something unpleasant, the innocence and naivete that I still posses and try so hard to protect will become exposed.

Take Away – Forewarned is forearmed. It looks like this week has the potential for some pretty emotional changes that I’m going to have to reach out to others for assistance in working through. What I see here is that those emotions and struggle will have an up-side though, as it will create a sense of drive and focus for other areas, and spur on the manifestation of things waiting in the wings while igniting an “out of the box” thinking process.


Growing Outside the Box

Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and was a guided meditation that focused on envy.  This isn’t usually an issue I deal with all that often.  I’m pretty damned content with my life, all things considered.   I have people who love me, steady work and steady income, a mortgage that is about five years from being paid off, a good car, and my health.   I have a partner that worships the ground I walk on as well, which is honestly something I never thought I would want, let alone have…. until you came along and taught me differently.

So, envy isn’t really something I deal with all that often.  I understood the message, though.  It was speaking of how when we envy what others have, we are spending too much time focusing down on the little things, instead of opening up to the bigger picture and all that we have to be grateful for.

The High Priestess - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the High Priestess, which interestingly enough, was also the focus of the Weekly Card Study in one of the Discord servers I’m very active on.

The thing is?   In this card the High Priestess really doesn’t look all that happy at all. Neither is there any water in the background.  Instead, the landscape looks jagged and sparse, her expression feels like sadness to me, and the moon feels as if it is too far away.

This is interesting, as I’ve never had this reaction to the imagery in this card before, but what I see in this card today is someone that is dissatisfied with their lot in life and feels… stuck.

The pomegranate vines in the lower left corner speaks to me of breaking free, and I feel that the appearance of this card in today’s draw is less about traditional meanings and more about intuitive nuances.  The card is saying that when you feel dissatisfaction and are feeling stuck, it’s time to start branching out and looking for new soil and striving for “outside the box” growth.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What simple way can I  show I value myself this year?

Ember + Aura Tarot

Reading Summary: Foster those relationships that have value and potential for longevity (Seven of Coins), and set good boundaries (Nine of Wands) with new friends (Ace of Wands).

Take Away:  These cards are essentially reminding me to not waste time on relationships that aren’t going to go anywhere or have no value.  Sometimes I feel like I want to befriend and help everyone, and that simply isn’t possible.   In order to avoid burning myself out or over-burdening myself with too much, I need to pick and choose where I spend my energy, and make good choices concerning boundaries so that I don’t get spread too thin.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What in your life needs started now for it to be ready when you need it?

Cat's Eye Tarot

Reading Summary: Get your ducks in a row now (Seven of Wands) concerning your responsibilities (Two of Pentacles), because a shit storm is coming (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  I think the reading summary pretty much clearly outlines what this reading is saying without a lot of extra interpretation.  (Hello again btw, Wheel of Fortune.)  These cards are essentially another kick in the butt, which has been happening quite a bit this last week as I work at getting my plans in order for the changes I’m making to how I deal with and run my business over the next year.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How can I stop procrastinating?

Prediction Tarot

Reading Summary:  Lean on what I’m good at (Eight of Coins) and remember to remain calm and collected (Temperance) through the changes taking place right now (Death).  Taking up the reigns on change is a process that takes time and steady, determined progress to accomplish (Knight of Coins).

Take Away:  This clearly has to do with my business and those changes I’m working on shifting into since the new year.  Appropriate, considering I have absolutely been procrastinating in that area.   The cards are encouraging me that it’s okay to take things slow in order to provide skillful precision to the situation, but I need to remember to stay calm and stir up that determination to push me forward when feeling uncertain.


Out With The Old

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and again incorporated into my yoga/physio practice at the end of the forty minute session I do daily. Moving from the ebb and flow of my yoga practice into the stillness of those ten minutes at the end of the practice feels really nice, and gives my body time to ease out of the stretching and exercise to a calm state.   I really like it.

Spacious TarotToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that the cards came out together as one from the deck.   The cards in today’s draw are the Ace of Pentacles atop the Death card.

When I see these two cards together today, the message that I get from this imagery is that in order for new things to happen, sometimes old things have to die off first.  Its a part of the ebb and flow of life that some things must fade in order to make room for new things to develop.    It’s a rhythm that fits into every facet of life, and it’s no different in mine.

The appearance of these cards is a reminder that you can only fit so much on your plate.  In order to fit in more, you have to let go of something, because only so much will manage to stay on the plate at once.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What simple way can I show my loved ones that I value them this year?

Field Tarot

Reading Summary:   Make sure I’m there for them (Prince of Discs) during times of change (Death), and willing to lend an ear without casting judgement (The swan consulting it’s reflection in the Judgement card), and help them find a way forward (Chariot) when they are having trouble seeing a their path through (Princess of Wands) those difficult times.

Take Away:  Sometimes what loved ones need most is an ear and a little help finding the path through the trees.  This is something that my loved ones come to me for now and then through the years and it sounds like this year will be another one of those years.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How can I overcome my weaknesses?

Tarot Cats

Reading Summary: Weaknesses are not meant to be overcome (The Moon), instead they are meant to be sat with and learned from (Four of Cups) so that you can move forward into personal growth and while learning how to utilize those weaknesses to your advantage (Seven of Pentacles) for the future.

Take Away:  This answer really makes sense to me, because I’ve never really understood how you “overcome” weaknesses.  To me, everyone has weaknesses and you learn to adapt to them and use them to your advantage.  That doesn’t mean they aren’t still a weakness, only that they have become a useful weakness.



Using Visualization in Spellcraft

This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about visualization and how it’s used in one’s practice and in everyday life.


Topic for the Week of 1/13: Although the word makes us think only of vision and our sense of sight, the practice of visualization involves any and all senses, not just sight but also scent, sound, touch, and even taste…”

There are multiple questions included in the continuation of the topic for this week, so I am going to break those questions up below, because I think it’ll be easier to answer that way, rather than taking the whole thing on at once.   So…

1) Do you practice this skill or use it in your path?

Oh hell yes.  All the time.  Anyone that reads a book and imagines what’s going on in the book in your head, or writes fiction, or daydreams about this or that is doing visualization.

In spellcrafting, especially, it is an extremely valuable tool used to set intentions and direct energy into those intentions.

It is also an excellent method of meditation.  One of my favorite meditations when I was first starting out at meditation was to visualize peeling and eating an orange, as it is one that has a very distinctive and strong ability to incorporate all five senses.

2) What do you actually DO when you ‘visualize’ something?

Visualization triggers the parts of the brain that have to do with receptors for each of your senses.   So it’s not just “thinking” about doing something, but awakening those parts of the brain that register sensation and… well, playing with them.

3) Do you find that it comes easily to you, or do you struggle with it?

I’ve been doing visualization all my life, both in my practice and path, as well as in the day to day.  So it’s not really something I think about anymore, to be honest.

4) Are certain inner senses easier to use than others? For example some people may find inner sight difficult, but hear things easily, and so on.

Because of my synesthesia, the hearing one always feels a bit weird because with visualizations it doesn’t always kick in as it does with actual auditory input.   But other than that… not really.  I would say that visualization-wise, my sense of smell is the weakest.

5) What do your physical eyes ‘see’ when you visualize something?

They don’t.   I don’t hallucinate when visualizing.  Whatever I’m visualizing plays out in my mind, not in the physical world in front of me.

6) Do you have any tips for others working on this skill? For those who struggle, what are other things that can be done instead?

I think a lot of people don’t realize that creative writing is a type of visualization.  That reading a work of fiction is a type of visualization.   They think that it’s some esoteric skill they can’t tap into, but have been doing it all along and not realizing it.   Use those ways of visualizing that are familiar to you and take steps to begin reaching beyond them.

Instead of reading a book, make up a story in your head.  Pay attention to what you’re doing in your head beyond just producing words, yeah?  Do you see your character doing those things?   Can you feel what that character feels?   That is visualization.   Practice and pay attention, yeah?

7)  Does struggling with visualization prevent growth in our practice?

I believe it could.   Without visualization, the energy placed into intention setting wouldn’t have the same kind of -drive- behind it.  That drive is what pushes the energy forward into creating the results you seek, so I sort of wonder if spellcasting without it would even work?   I’m not sure, as this isn’t a problem I deal with personally.


Foundation Work

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and incorporated into my yoga/physio practice because I’ve been having a few days of difficulty with just sitting still. I haven’t been to the sports medicine doc for an adjustment on my ribs in almost four weeks now, which means that I have had a few things move out of place and then the time for the inflammation and irritation to ease enough to “cement” those misalignments out of place.    This means that when I lie still, my muscles spasm some, so I was hoping that incorporating the meditation into my yoga would help.

Long story short… It didn’t.  Not really.   So, hopefully I’ll see him on Tuesday next week and start to get things back to a more comfortable alignment.

Four of Pentacles - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Four of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of stability and steady structure in the area of resources, finances, manifestations, and the physical plane.

This card’s appearance today is an encouragement following yesterday’s nudge.   It reminds me that what I want to work at achieving with the changes I’m doing to my business this year are to increase the stability of the foundation that my business rests upon.

And the first step on building this foundation is to make a physical list of the changes I want to make. (Intuitive hit… wood paneling in the background and earthen tones.)

Creativity is a flighty and ever-shifting process in my experience, and I need a stronger base for what has grown into a thriving business so that it can carry forward into the future with not just strength and purpose, but also longevity.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: How can I best move into the risks that the universe wants me to take this year? (Build off of yesterday’s read.)

Wheel of Fortune Tarot by Ivy Feng

Reading Summary: Don’t let fear of failure hold you back (via the look on the Hierophant’s face and tension in his pose as he looks at the Five of Pentacles). Even though you feel a lurking darkness from outside influences that may cause some doubt (via the dark head of the lion looking down on the couple below and siphoning energy into their glasses), you have all the tools at your disposal to succeed and do well (The Magician facing and atop the Two of Cups card).

Take Away:  As I mentioned yesterday, I worry about the folly of pride whenever I try to appreciate my accomplishments.  The interaction between the Hierophant and the Five of Pentacles speaks of this fear.   The dark lion in the Two of Cups speaks to me of the doubts I struggle with concerning my emotions and learning how to better integrate them into my life (as opposed to burying them).  That energy siphons into the cups below, polluting and “poisoning the well” so to speak.   If i want to push through these risks and find the prize beyond, I need to look at the tools I have at my disposal and use them to help me along this path, rather than shirking from the risks altogether.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What does Miss Luna think about me?

Accurate AF TarotReading Summary: I am the provider of all good things (Six of Cups) … And some of the bad as well (Justice).  I am her safe harbor (Five of Pentacles), and where all the good stuff in life comes from even if she can’t always figure out why I do what I’m doing (Son of Cups).  She likes it when I am able to know what she needs and understand her even though she can’t talk human speak (The Priestess).

Take Away:  The cards pretty much lay out the life of a happy house cat.  She needs me.  She loves me.  She sees me as the provider of all good things, and punisher when she does something wrong cuz I’m the one that lays down the law.  Sometimes the stuff I do makes no sense to her, but she’s happy over all and is having her needs met.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How can I better utilize my strengths to achieve my goals?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  The cards on the left are crisp and filled with water, whereas the cards on the right (which overlay the left) are grounded in earth and carry the flavor of the forest in their coloring and depictions.   The cards on the left being the present, the cards on the right speak of what is needed to move forward.

Take Away:  I need to spend more time in liminal spaces.  The world is too crisp and cold.  Too in focus.  By stepping outside of that and finding where the lines are blurred, I will better be able to find the grounding I need to move on with solid footing, rather than feeling as if I’m treading water.


The Three Sisters – Story Time

Pull at least three cards and use them to…
…tell a  story about an argument between siblings.

Fey Tarot

Annabelle, Beatrice, and Nora are three sisters living under the same roof with completely different goals.  Living together is stressful because they each have such different personalities.

Coming into the kitchen one morning, the ever impulsive Annabelle (Knave of Pentacles) announces, “I’m taking the car today.  None of you need it and I have a hot date with my boyfriend (Three of Pentacles) later to play DND with some friends (Ten of Pentacles).”

Beatrice, the benevolent older sister of the three (The Empress), looked over with a frown from where she was cooking at the stove, “You are going to need to wait until later.  I need the car to go to the grocery store and run some errands. You can have it when I’m done.” (The Chariot)

At that moment, soft spoken Nora lifts her head off the table where she’d appeared to be napping. (Four of Swords)  “I don’t feel very good,” she says, “Do you think someone could take me to see my counselor?” (Three of Swords)

Annabelle knows better than to argue with Beatrice, but she’s seething on the inside at this interruption in her plans today.   So it’s not a surprise that when the youngest sister, Nora, speaks up that the scowl on her face is supremely displeased and her glare in Nora’s direction is seething. (The Seer)

“You don’t need to go see the counselor,” snaps Annabelle, worried that now her plans are dashed and she won’t be able to have the car at all. “Stop being such a whiner!”

“Annabelle!” Scolds Beatrice with a glare at her selfish younger sister. “WHAT has gotten into you?   Why don’t you go study for that exam that you have to take on Friday. (Eight of Pentacles) You can have the car when I get back.”

Beatrice then turns to Nora and comes to sit down beside her.  Putting her arm around the youngest sister, she gives the girl a comforting hug.  “I think that the office is closed today, Nora.  But how about you come with me to run errands and I’ll take you to the pet shop to visit with all the animals. (The Magician)  You really like that.   Then you and I can come home and veg out in front of the tv and talk about what’s bothering you. (Two of Chalices) Okay?”

Nora leans her head on her sister’s shoulder and nods.  Beatrice always knows what to do to help make her feel better and keep Annabelle from getting too mean (Strength), and having some time alone with her without Annabelle’s chaotic energy always feels good (Four of Wands).

As Annabelle grouses under her breath and heads upstairs to study (Eight of Pentacles), Nora follows Beatrice to go get on her coat.  Beatrice’s promise to go see the animals has created a spark of excitement within her for the day of head that she’d been lacking just a short time earlier (Queen of Wands).



Nudge Nudge

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was not particularly relaxing, although I really tried.  I think I was just too excited about the snow and couldn’t settle to get myself in the zone.  Even my yoga/physio was a bit restless and difficult to stick on track with today.

Three of Wands - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Three of Wands, which… seems to be what the Spacious tarot really wants me to see a lot of this month.  Out of the seven times I’ve drawn from this deck so far this month, five of them have given me wands.

The Three of Wands is about planning the path to one’s goals and ambitions, and beginning the execution of those plans.

It really feels like the deck is trying to tell me to get my ass in gear… which, has been difficult.  It’s definitely trying to light a fire under my ass, though…. or rather, prod me with a stick to get me moving.

Today’s guidance from this deck is that you can think about what you want all you want to, but at some point you have to start moving forward.   Now’s the time.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What risk does the universe want me to take this year?

Bohemian Animals Tarot

Reading Summary:  Learn to celebrate your accomplishments more (Four of Fire) and put yourself out there to help others discover theirs as well (The Shaman).  Also, seeking emotional stability through immersion (Queen of Water).

Take Away:  I’m very skilled at minimizing my accomplishments and/or discounting them as “nothing”.  It always feels awkward and a bit of a risk to me to not do that, as if I might fall into a pit of pridefulness (new word!) and become a jackass because of it… or something.  By the same turn, helping others requires accepting and being comfortable to put myself out there, and… I really hope I don’t come off as a prideful jerk doing so.  Just sayin’.

In the Queen of Water card, you can see the little seal in the far background submerged in water, yeah?   That is what stuck out to me in this card.  With weight put on that little figure’s presence, the card is telling me that if I want to find a stable balance with my emotions, I’m going to have to immerse myself into them and do the work at becoming familiar and comfortable with them, and that in doing that I will (over time) learn (and earn) that stability I seek.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #3  Will I have found a way to connect with and communicate with my spirit guide(s) by the end of the spring?

Vintage Oracle Tarot

Reading Summary:  Following uncertainty and darkness between the Moon and the Two of Swords, the darkness bleeds over from the moon into the card beside it.  This means there’s going to be a good deal of it throughout the spring on this issue.  There is also a color match between the girl’s dress and the ground upon which the Hermit treads, speaking of  a connection between her feelings of needing to work with intuition more rather than physical senses is going to be the foundation of my path forward.   In the sky, the light grows from utter darkness to moonlight glow, to a great full shine moving forward to the right in the Hermit card, which speaks of a progression but not of actual success, as the light is not in the foreground and bleeds off the card into the future beyond the time limit of the reading’s parameters.

Take Away:  The answer is no.  There will be a clusterfuck of confusion and uncertainty at first until I find a balance within myself that allows me to tap into the inner voice and intuition needed.  Once I find that balance, the path forward will lie before me.  I will make progress over this time period, but I won’t accomplish the reading’s goal by the end of spring. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How can I improve my time management?

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary:  Get moving on my goals (Knight of Wands) and stop (Death) lollygagging (Six of Cups).  Take a different perspective (Hanged Man) on my addictions and interests (Devil), and turn them around into something more useful than their current state (the Hanged Man is on top).

Take Away:  This reading is about distractions and how I have been letting distractions do a lot more distracting lately than usual over the past couple of weeks.   The cards are telling me that it’s time to get back on track, and indicating the distractions that need the most work in order for time management to improve. 

The distractions represented here are the Six of Cups and the Devil, which speak to the childlike fun I’ve been having with some of the games on my phone, and the bit of overwhelmed distraction I’ve been experiencing concerning my deck collection.  The first I need to work more on.  The second is going to resolve itself now that I have a new bookshelf to work with and can begin sorting things out in a different manner for better organization.


Hermit Crabs and Tortoise Shells

Today’s meditation was… non-existent.  I’m running on about two and a half hours of sleep at the moment, and any lying down or inactively sitting still I do is going to result in me falling asleep.  Because of that, there was no way that I could do my meditation this morning, and I couldn’t do it in the car because the weather and roads were so bad today that even when I wasn’t driving, J needed the help in keeping an eye out for issues.

I will try to meditate when I lie down for bed tonight, though.  If I fall asleep then, at least it’ll be safe and that sleep won’t be cutting into anything important.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that both cards came out together from the deck.  The cards in today’s draw are the Hermit card and the Eight of Cups.

This is 100% about how I feel today.  It’s about the drop, and it’s about our issues last night, and it’s about how I feel on the inside.

I don’t want anything to do with what happened yesterday.   And after last night?  I don’t want anything to do with the drop either.  Not that the drop is ever pleasant to begin with, but… yeah.

Today’s cards have appeared to force me to confront that want to hide away and retreat, and a reminder that what we have is worth fighting for and holding onto, even when all I really want to do is retreat into my shell and hunker down in there out of sight.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: How can I make space for that joy this year? (From yesterday’s cards.)

Arcana Tarot by Hydra-Nix

Reading Summary:  I need to better balance my needs (Justice card) with my constant quest to know more (Page of Swords) and doing better in those things that foster my sense of security (Page of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I always prioritize the whole “learning more and doing better” thing when it comes to how I manage my time, and that includes time spent in my relationship with you.  I work hard to obtain and hold onto security and stability in my life both financially and in my home, and that is where a huge amount of my focus lies.

Expressing dominance in our relationship (which is the joy that yesterday’s reading was about) takes a significant amount of energy and effort, even when that need rises to a point it can’t be ignored.  That energy and effort over the past year has been channeled into my work and fostering that stability instead of being expressed through our relationship.

Today’s cards indicate that I need to find a better balance between those material demands (and the knowledge gathering they require) and the facet of our relationship that allows me to express those more dominant urges.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What concession can you make to provide for yesterday’s inner child craving?

Forest Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to look into and explore (Page of Swords) a better way of getting to those natural places I crave (The Chariot) rather than dispairing that I can’t reach them (Nine of Swords).   If I make some changes (Death), I’ll find myself much happier with what I have afterward (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s read was about getting out in nature more, even when it’s frigidly cold, as it is right now.   The cards in today’s reading are about finding better ways to access nature so that I can spend the time I need there to feel good and right with the world.  I need to explore alternative ways to get where I want (and need) to be.  Maybe I should look into something like a snowmobile rental or some sort of ATV use for this time of year so that I can get out to those remote spots more easily when the temperatures are so low that hiking isn’t an option.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: What could help my daily organization?

Lighteater's Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to be kinder to myself (Amicka) and stop presenting the image that I have it all together (Six of Staves) when in truth I’m a bit lost in the weeds (The Moon).

Take Away:  Okay so firstly?   This deck needs to be moved over into my shadow work decks.  Because… Jesus.  Just sayin’.  But this is the second time the imagery has jerked me into some pretty intense reactions…. and the second time I have used the deck.  (I just bought it earlier this month.)  I’m going to continue to use it through the end of the month as a regular deck, but I have a feeling it’s just too hard-hitting for “everyday” use.

So, that out of the way… I am very skilled at being extremely hard on myself.  I’ve had a lifetime of practice with a spectacular teacher who was very skilled at making you feel that you aren’t good enough.   This tendency means that I often present a “everything is perfectly fine” front even when it’s not.  If I want to find a better way of organizing my daily life?  I’m going to have to let go of both that tendency to tear myself apart and the tendency to pretend everything is okay, because I need to be able to let others in to help me when i start to feel lost and overwhelmed.