Ruts and Therapists, Oh My!

Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and focused on how many something isn’t working for you, whether it be a mindset or a method, sometimes you need to look for a different perspective or a different way of doing things.

We all get stuck in a rut sometimes, and sometimes it’s really hard to think outside the box… But it’s in those times especially that we need to strive for that different outlook or new idea.

Sometimes this means just taking the time to sit down and work out what’s working for you and what isn’t, and other times it means you need to consult others in order to receive fresh perspectives to dwell on and work with. This is, in fact, one of the main tenants are going to therapy, is that you find an outside source that has no vested interest in the situation they can then help find those different perspectives and ways of doing things that you may not of thought of on your own.

Circle Inner Animal Tarot Today’s draw is the Empress card, which is commonly interpreted as the nurturing counterbalance to the Emperor, and a representation of abundance and nature.

The appearance of the Empress in today’s draw is a reminder during my very trying and challenging times today (of which there will be many, as it’s casino day at mom’s house), that it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.

The card also brings my mind to the hike I did yesterday, and I think keeping my enjoyment of that in the forefront of my mind will help me in moving through today’s trials.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What can I do to continue a cycle of growth throughout the rest of 2020?

Postcards From the Liminal Space Tarot

Reading Summary: Identify issuers rather than burying them and ignoring them (First Card). Reach out for help in dealing with those issues (Second Card). Remember that it’s ok to indulge in something nice once in a while without beating yourself up about it (Third Card).

Take Away: I’m essentially being called out here in reference to the things I do that are not helpful to my own growth and well being. The cards are 100% right of course, but the underlying message here is snout changing up how I do things as a whole. It’s about accepting the negative way I do things as not just not self care, but self destructive behaviors to add to my “watch list”.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What am I clinging to that can be let go of without repercussion?

WWII Posters Tarot

Reading Summary: I worry too much over my financial acumen (Page of Pentacles) and if I’m doing things “right” (Six of Wands) and on the right course(Seven of Wands). I’ve plotted a good course (Two of Wands) that will carry me forward and allows me the freedom to explore my creativity (Page of Cups).

Take Away: I stress over my finances on a nearly constant basis. Although this doesn’t keep me from the things I enjoy, as I factor them in, it does cause me a decent amount of stress. Today’s cards indicate that I don’t need to worry so much, as I’m on a good path where Mt finances are concerned.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How can I better check in with myself?

The Inversion Tarot in a Tin

Reading Summary: Say no to apathy (Five of Cups and The Sun) and ignorance (The Fool). Depend on others to help (Three of Pentacles).

Take Away: The cards are really drilling down on the “ask for help” aspect lately. I can’t deny it though. It’s something that I’m not entirely comfortable doing. A lot of times I struggle with even how to approach things at all or identifying that I need help in the first place. Still, the cards have made it pretty clear lately that I do.


My Meditation Practice, and Some Advice for Beginners

This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about a whole bunch of things concerning the new year, including goals and what I’m currently into.  I pretty much answered all this last week, so today’s question is coming from one of the Discord servers I am a member of instead.

Topic for the Week of 1/27:  What are some ways in which you meditate? What are some techniques and tips you could give to beginners? What helps you stay focused?


I personally do not use music during meditation most of the time because I am an aural synesthete, so music can become extremely distracting and I don’t consider the “riding of sound” to be a meditation in and of itself (although, of course it is… it’s just not for me personally).

I do a variety of meditation techniques including incorporating it into my yoga/physiotherapy, body scans, five senses scans, guided meditation (primarily using the Calm app), visualization techniques, etc. (Not all at once, obviously.) It really depends on how I feel each day as to which one I use.

For beginners to meditation…

1) Start small. Five minutes a day. Ten minutes a day. It doesn’t have to be some marathon session. Just set aside those five or ten minutes and do it.

2) EVERYONE struggles with focus. Don’t try so hard to block everything out. Instead, consider yourself like a window screen. The outside distractions flow through you like a breeze but do not move you.

3) Again, EVERYONE struggles with focus. Our minds wander. It’s natural. One of the main purposes of meditation is to exercise your mind’s ability to find calm. You do this not by staying in that focused and clam state 100% of the time, but by bringing yourself back to it each time you notice that your mind has strayed. By setting aside what your mind has wandered to and coming back to center, you are essentially doing a mental push-up.

4) Try different types of meditation. Everyone is different. Maybe chanting helps you focus… maybe not. Maybe visualization is your thing… or maybe not. Maybe you need a guided meditation to assist in your focus, or maybe the guided ones irk you. It’s completely individual, so don’t be afraid to experiment to find what feels best to you.

5) Not everyone focuses on their breath. It’s true that it’s very common as a focus, but it’s not for everyone. I personally find that I have better results focusing on my solar plexus and how I am feeling there (which is what I consider the seat of the soul and definitely have fluctuations concerning).

For my own focusing challenges… I personally struggle with “I should be doing this right now” and the constant fidget to get moving again.  I deal with this by reminding myself that this is TEN minutes.  That’s all it is.  Ten minutes out of the thousands and thousands of minutes in a day.   Ten minutes to set everything aside and take a break.  It might be the ONLY break I get all day, so enjoy it while it’s there in my grasp.


Go On… Get Going

PNW Rainforest Today’s meditation was done in the middle of the rainforest, and I didn’t really keep track of how long I was meditating for. I went for a hike earlier today, and while out among the trees and the ferns, I found a place to settle in for a bit and relaxed.

The meditation was obviously not guided, but a combination of breathing exercises and immersion into the senses and surroundings.

The Chariot - Textured TarotToday’s draw is The Chariot card, and was the inspiration for today’s hike. I was trying to decide between taking a nap or going outside to find some fresh air just before doing my cards today, and the chariot cane up.

I took it as a sign that I needed to get outside and take some control over my own self care, so I went for a drive and was drawn to an old stomping ground from my youth. I spent some time hiking down to the beach front park, and then back up again to where I’d left my car.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: How is the universe inviting me to celebrate that? (Built off of yesterday’s reading)

 Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: Even though you can’t always see it (The High Priestess), you are protected and watched over when you are feeling vulnerable (the owl’s extended wing), so jump on in and explore your emotional depths (Knight of Cups). You’re safe and protected while doing so (The Emperor).

Take Away:  There is definitely a bit of hesitation. And one of those “I dunno what to do” feelings you get when trying something new and unfamiliar. Thank you for being there to watch over me and make sure that my fumbling in the dark to find my way doesn’t result in my breaking my nose in a rake handle. I love you, my stick.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What is your greatest vice you’re not consciously aware of?

 Dixit Cards - Daydreams Expansion Pack

Reading Summary: My desire for acceptance is stronger than I realize (First Card), and on an emotional level I subconsciously seek out praise and or accolades (Second Card) to sate that desire (Third Card).

Take Away:  Ouch! Geez… ok yeah, that’s probably true. I’m pretty sure that’s a somewhat common human trait as a whole but it definitely stung a bit hearing it.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: What is a good way for me to stay motivated?

The Textured Tarot

Reading Summary: These cards are about my making the list. It’s about feeling mentally overburdened (Ten of Swords) and finding a new way (Ace of Swords) and you holding me accountable and keeping me on track emotionally (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I think the tasks list is a really good idea, but I think I might need a reminder now and then that when I write things down on it I need to break some of them down into smaller tasks.


Don’t Look Back

Today’s meditation was… non-existent again. It has just been a very messed up day as a whole. I do plan to meditate, but it won’t be until I lie down for bed later tonight.

The World - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is The World card, which is the last card in the Major Arcana before one either slips into the Minor Arcana or returns to The Fool for another cycle. The traditional meanings of this card include completion, accomplishment, and closure on a “grand scheme” level rather than dealing with any one aspect of the human experience.

The appearance of The World card in today’s draw it’s a reassurance that things do come to an end. I’m still feeling the effects of that fear and uncertainty. Sometimes recognition and acknowledgement isn’t enough and it takes some time to find your footing again. That’s okay. As long as I keep looking forward, I’ll get there.

I’m also thinking that the appearance of the world card may be a reference to something changing in my relationship with my mother during this trip. That is not part of the “positive message of the day” though, and more of an intuitive hit off the card.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What challenge have I already overcome this year?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Deck

Interpretation: I managed to circumvent falling into that deep dark hole of depression. It was a close call, but we were able to pull me out of the descent with that talk last Saturday, and I see here that that lifeline has helped in turning my trajectory away from that dark hole I was slipping toward.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: Last week I accidentally did Spread #5 instead of the fourth, so this week I am doing Spread #4 so that I get a chance to do both.

What are my deepest desires concerning…

Maregician Tarot

My HomeThe Magician and Nine of Hearts – Independence and self-reliance.

My JobQueen of Clubs and Judgement – Confidence that what I what I do makes a difference.

My FriendsThe Emperor – To be strong for them.

My FamilyEight of Clubs – Alacrity within change.

MyselfPage of Spades and The Fool – Lighten up and find the fun.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How will I ensure I find time for self-care?

Fey Tarot

Reading Summary:  Remember that I need balance (Temperance) and don’t be so focused upon my ambitions (Knave of Swords) while I’m in the middle of finding my footing in this new emotional landscape (Knave of Chalices).

Take Away:  Meditation really stands out to me in the response from these cards. Specifically that I need to look at meditation as a path to temperance.

The message here in relation to the question, though, is that I need to stay mindful that I don’t get so wrapped up in what I think is important that I lose sight of my own needs.



IMG_1991Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was a meditation on fostering loving kindness for both yourself and others, including those that you don’t particularly like.

It spoke about how the practice isn’t so much used as a benefit for those that you dislike for whatever reasons, but helps us in our own feelings and in letting go of negativity through projecting of positivity upon ourselves and others.

I really enjoyed the practice, and it seemed to actually release a couple of tightly wound knots within my chest.  It’s definitely one I will revisit again.

Four of Coins - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Six of Coins, which is a often a representation of harmony in the area of finances, resources, the physical world, and manifestation.   This can often translate into themes of generosity, charity and acceptance of charity when needed, and the balancing of scales in the areas of wealth and fortune through sharing.

I think that the message of today’s card goes really well with today’s guided meditation. Although one is more of an emotional and spiritual theme, and the other based more on the earthly plane, they both speak of generosity.  Together they are a reminder that generosity is not just something that benefits others, but also that benefits the self.  It is healing to the inner self to give to others, and healing as well to be on the other side as the recipient of such gifts.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: How is the universe inviting me to express gratitude for that? (Built off of yesterday’s reading.)

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary: The King of Swords is bracketed on either side by resistance to change.

Take Away:  Don’t be such a stick in the mud.   Yesterday’s read on this topic was about going with the flow of my emotions rather than trying to close them out and allowing the more negative aspects of my addictions to take a step forward as a result.   The cards in today’s reading make it clear that expressing gratitude for the realization of how to go about this path isn’t in thinking about it or saying anything about it, but rather walking the walk and doing the hard parts like a boss while embracing this change.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: How can you take advantage of it? (Built off of yesterday’s reading.)

Wheel of Fortune Tarot by Ivy Feng

Reading Summary:  I shouldn’t worry so much about my creative spark having been stolen away and going dormant as it was forced into submission by the fears and worries I was battling (Ten of Swords atop Seven of Swords).  It’ll come back stronger than ever (King of Wands) and with a vengeance (Eight of Wands) once I find my footing and my confidence starts to bolster once more (Nine of Pentacles).   Oh… look.  I read the cards backwards (realizes it after he’s typed it out).

Take Away:  That letter I received in the fall caused an internal mess that I didn’t even know was festering and growing under the surface all this time.  Over the past few weeks, it had gotten to the point that my creative spark suffered as a result and my creativity in my business became a bit of a chore rather than a joy.   These cards indicate that in having realized this process, to heal from this I need to recognize that things are stable and going to be okay.  I need to reestablish that sense of security, and by doing so my creative spark will find roots with which grow and flourish again.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How can I treat myself with compassion?

Prediction Tarot

Reading Summary: Take the time to celebrate (Four of Wands) my accomplishments (Seven of Pentacles) with others (Two of Cups) now rather than putting it off until later (The Chariot).

Take Away:  Yesterday, while I was working my ass off on the overflow of unexpected orders, you reminded me to take pride in my work.  Although I didn’t realize it until you  said something, it was something I really needed to hear.   It’s something I need to hear more, because although I have a very hard time accepting anything I do is “good enough”?  Hearing it from someone I love and care about helps.  A lot.


The Forgotten – Story Time

Pull at least three cards and use them to… tell us a story about a pair of shoes.

Lighteater's Tarot

There’s smooth wood under the his soles as he sits on the porch. Once upon a time he was young and spry and new (Ace of Cups). But heat and cold and time has taken their tole upon him now and where once his soles were flat and strong, now they are brittle and curled slightly up at the toes. (Ten of Swords)

That’s because the leather is dry now. And as it dried, it made his toes curl up a bit, as giving him a different view over time. When first set here, he could see out over the wooden planks and watch the children play in the yard, the come and go of the mailman each day, and the passing of cars on the old dirt road.

But as toes curled, his view changed. Winter came and he watched the snow fall as temperatures plummeted, and then the world became warm again. Where once he could see the grass, by the time summer came again, he could no longer (Four of Swords). He couldn’t watch the boy that mows the lawn and dream about those grass stains anymore, instead his view began at the road and the trees on the other side, and just a peek of the sky (Four of Cups).

And he waited. Loyal and patient. He waited for someone to remember about the old pair of sneakers once new, and now long hidden under the rocker on the porch.

But winter came again and the cold gripped the world. The leather tightened further, dried out by the chill in the air (Nine of Swords), and his view again changed.

Now he can see the sky and the trees, but by the time summer comes again, the road is now gone. He sees planes that fly overhead, and watches the fall of rain as it splats and patters on the ground he can no longer see. Long nights filled with crickets songs and days filled with the squeak and slam of the screen door as the children come and go.

One day a windstorm came (imagery from the Three of Staves) and tossed branches from the trees nearby onto the porch, and during the cleanup that follows he is finally found. Alas! He is discovered! Picked up and brought inside, he is cleaned and moisturized, and his leather sighs in relief as oils are rubbed in (Princess of Cups) and he’s set upon the table to dry (Temperance).

For a full day, he watches the light come through windows and the comings and goings of the big, happy family (Ten of Cups). He is picked up by many, and tried on by some, and as night falls he thinks of his porch and the crickets and misses the moon (The Moon).

The next day, he is taken up and brought back outside, but he is not put on the porch. Instead, he is taken beyond the yard and along the road past the trees he’s known for so long (The Chariot). In town, he is handed to another and by the end of the day he is among other shoes (Seven of Cups), sitting on a box in a display window in town.

Then a day came while sitting in the window that a woman (Queen of Coins) and her small son stop to look inside and the little boy points to him through the glass (imagery on the Six of Cups).

They come inside, and in short order he is fitted on the little boy’s feet (Two of Cups). The boy wiggles his toes, tickling the shoes and causing a spark of glee, and the boy giggles happily in response to the energy created (Ace of Cups with Four of Staves).

The boy does not take off the shoes, but walks around the small shop with them on his feet as his mother deals with haggling and payment, and then… he tastes the joy of service after years of misuse (Six of Swords) as the little boy wears him out of the store and a new adventure begins. (Eight of Staves)