Paint my skin
the skin I’m in
paint it with
and blooming flush
of bright blush
an echo after
the rough scrap
of calloused touch
with your kisses
and your claim
Today’s meditation was skipped because I laid down “for a few minutes” and then… slept for three hours. Way more than I meant to lie down for.
Right now I am struggling with my ambition, and with turning my slow summer mind and vacation longing heart around into the powerhouse of innovation and entrepreneurial oomph that is needed to not just catch up from my break last week, but also begin prepping for the holiday rush to come.
I think that we all struggle with changing gears sometimes, and with “rising to the challenges” set out before us. Today’s message in these cards is that it’s natural and normal to find yourself struggling to drum up that oomph now and then, but instead of giving in, it’s important to keep trying.
There was once a brutal king who had a young son. They clashed often due to the king’s sharp tongue and quick temper (King of Swords Rx), which always seemed to ignite whenever confronted with his son’s more cautious and thoughtful ways (Page of Discs).
The boy took the abuse from his father’s cruelty again and again, even as he took to heart encouragement from the queen (Queen of Wands) to learn to fight well and defend himself (Nine of Wands).
This went on for many years, with the queen always encouraging the boy to train harder and stand up for himself, and the boy never utilizing what he had been taught.
Then one day the king discovered the queen’s encouragement, and saw it as a betrayal. The king went after the queen with his sharp tongue and cruelty, and where the boy had not been comfortable using what he had learned to defend himself (Nine of Wands Rx), he immediately leapt into action to protect his mother and queen (Nine of Wands). The king was defeated by the son, and all in the realm that had lived in misery under the cruel king’s rule rejoiced as the queen settled into her rightful place as ruler of the realm.
BekahMurphysMagic’s #IntuitiveHealingTarotChallenge Prompt
Questions for September 15th and 16th
When you are stressed and the world feels chaotic, you have no inspiration to create anything. At these times, instead of allowing your anxiety to have free reign as the world turns upside down and life feels unpredictable, reach for that highly tuned moral compass to lead you.
Using your inner compass as an anchor will allow for a calmer outlook, and give you the space you need to create, manifest, and otherwise draw ideas into reality more easily.
How can I better understand my intuition?
Druid, The Apple, Death, Strength
Stay grounded and attuned to the earth as you move through the changes that life throws at you. Be aware of where your strengths lie in this area, and use them to your advantage.
You have a strong connection with your intuition, and how it speaks to you through your body. Lean into that and work at getting more time in and among the liminal spaces that draw you so strongly, as they enhance the strength of your intuition’s “voice”.
I had an appointment with my shrink today. It actually wasn’t too bad and I felt like she gave me some good feedback. That felt pretty good overall. I also worked to get as much of the orders done today as possible so that tomorrow will be less stressful.
Today’s meditation was skipped because I had my days messed up. I thought I had a shrink appointment today and I waited around for her to call only to realize it was tomorrow. I would have structured my day completely different if I’d realized.
Today’s draw is the Seven of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of standing up for one’s convictions and principles, protecting your values, and doing feel is right even against opposition to the contrary.
Sometimes being a fighter isn’t about our goals or a physical struggle. Sometimes it isn’t even about conflict at all, other than our own inner conflict. Because there are times when being a fighter is about standing strong with your own idea of what’s right and wrong, holding your principles, values, and mores sacred for your life instead of allowing them to be corrupted, warped, or torn apart by others.
When we come up against people that try to warp our values, it can sometimes create a huge struggle. Not giving in or compromising your values and principles can sometimes feel like a never ending battle, but these values are what guide who you are… and you are worth fighting for.
You trust myself the most when you are in a time of growth, and your focus and passions are set upon exploring that growth and finding how it fits in with your own personal set of values and mores. This allows you to expand your perspectives and awareness, even when what you’re learning about doesn’t fit in with your own personal path.
What can I do about the fear of being wrong?
Duality, Ace of Hearts atop Two of Hearts
Being wrong isn’t really a fear that you have, as you are self-aware enough to be able to let go of incorrect perceptions and absorb new ones easily. This allows you to see other people and their perceptions far more easily and say “I was wrong” without any real fear.
What is my favorite mantra?
Uncover, Eight of Hearts atop Four of Clubs Rx
When something isn’t working, it’s time to move on and try something else, and you will be guided to tread the path that’s right for you if you openly listen to your intuition.
The Problem – The Green Man and Eight of Pentacles – You are looking at it from the angle of the holiday rush being all work and no play. There is no aspect of joy or adventure because you are too focused on the grueling work involved.
The Lesson to Learn – Keep Going and Five of Pentacles – Persistence can overcome perception with time. This lack-of-joy perspective creates a sense of scarcity, but if you keep trying to add joy and enjoyment into the experience, eventually you’ll be able to transform this perspective into something you’ll be more happy with.
Advice to Help You Through – Spiny Sister and Ace of Pentacles – Look at everything you do and everything you make with fresh eyes and an appreciative gaze. Every one of your creations are gorgeous, and you need to work on not losing sight of that fact.
I made sure that I got back home and online with enough time to have some time with Gid today. Even after the interruption of the graffiti on the outside of the building, I still feel like we got more time tonight than we have for most of the nights in this last time off. It was nice and relaxing and… it felt really good.
How can I release my fears and insecurities?
Anchor and Crossroads – Make sure that you are grounding yourself, so that when difficult choices arise you’ll be on solid footing. It’s always more difficult to make good decisions when your life feels chaotic and your energy is out of balance. This process becomes even more difficult when that imbalance allows fears and insecurities to slip in and pollute the decision making process. By having a steadily grounded foundation under your feet during these times, there’s less chance of those emotions screwing with your decisions.
What steps can I take to more deeply embrace my true self?
Lady, Moon, Cross – You need to return to doing regular lunar rituals with L. Not only do they provide a deeper connection with your path, your spirituality, and the energies surrounding you, but they connect you more deeply with L as well. As your other half, she is a part of you and you a part of her.
How can I protect myself from external factors?
Ship and Lily – Visit your mother. You may not entirely understand how this can protect you from external factors, but the cards here indicate that visiting your mother will do so. Perhaps it will douse the fire of her outrage and future machinations or something.
How can I boost my confidence to express myself?
Book and Key – Knowledge is power. Do your research so that whatever you are expressing yourself about can be resourced if needed. Having a strong foundation of sources to back up your knowledge will provide you with more confidence in what you are saying. Consider, on certain topics, noting down a list of resources for future reference.
What guidance do I need through this process?
House and Mountain – Retreat to the comfort of home when things feel insurmountable. Allow that comfort that both your physical home, as well as Gid and L, can provide to soothe you and shore up your strength to try again.
Self Care – Fish – For now? Just go with the flow. You can worry about the more challenging stuff later on.