Stronger Than You Think

Today’s meditation was skipped today because I wanted to nap before the housekeeper got here to work.  And then I wanted to nap after she left.  So… essentially I sacrificed meditation for sleep.

Serpent and the Peacock Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of boundaries, resilience, hyper diligence, and protecting what is important to you.

Confession: I struggle with social anxiety. It has been a recurring issue for the past decade; ever since the home invasion. I don’t think it’s about the facial scar anymore, but there are times when just the idea of dealing with even one person is enough to send my insides quivering with nervous energy and make my muscles pull tight.

Today is one of those days… and it’s housekeeper day. Sometimes, I can hide away on these days and just put off social interaction for when I feel more able. Today is going to provide me with that opportunity, though.

I think that everyone probably has days like that. Days where you think that you can’t continue on and deal with what needs to be dealt with for the day. Days where you want to retreat into yourself and just not deal with anything or anyone.

Unfortunately, that’s not always possible. The Thera-Pets card for today is a reminder that even though you can’t always retreat, you will still make it through because you’re stronger than you think you are.


Mr Lionharts’ #TheSeptemberTarot Rise and Fall Prompt
Questions for September 7th thru 9th

Roots & Wings Oracle and Cerise TarotAre my actions in alignment with what I want for myself?

Earth Mother and Ace of Cups – It’s a work in progress, but yes. As long as you continue to pursue your emotional growth, and ensure that you are both connecting with nature and using that connection to foster kindness towards yourself, you will continue to be in alignment with what you want for yourself moving forward.

Are my expectations aligned with what I can do right now?

Bound, The Magician Rx atop Five of Cups – No. Your expectations are far too ahead of what you are capable of at this time. This isn’t about putting yourself down for not being able to do more… It’s about having reasonable expectations of what this time in the present is for, instead of trying to push yourself into more than you are prepared for right now.

What (else/more) can I do in support of my goals/desires?

Held and Nine of Wands Rx – You need to accept that you are not as resilient as you want yourself to be. Be kind to yourself and understanding of your limitations. They are not weaknesses.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2021 Challenge Prompt
: What helps you when you’re…

Smoke & Roses Oracle, Roots Oracle, Serpent and the Peacock TarotAngryFern (Rumohra adiantiformis) and Justice – Distraction. When you’re angry, you need a distraction to pull your attention away from what is pissing you off. Something to balance the scales back out from the imbalance that the anger creates. When you’re angry, your view is polluted and sent out of balance. You are no longer unbiased and you are unable to see others perspectives clearly… only your own. A distraction allows you time to calm down and regain a more unbiased perspective.

SadNasturtium (Tropaeolum majus), Holly (Illex aquifolium), The Moon – Often, your sadness is a byproduct of uncertainty. To deal with this issue in the moment, you are often helped by turning to the skills you have developed over time. By leaning into those things that you enjoy, you are able to sink into “the zone” and close out the world around you. This creative zone is a soothing balm that can help lift your spirits if what you’re working on is something that you really enjoy doing.

Needing to RelaxIvy (Hedera helix) atop Blackthorn (Prunus spinosa), The Star – Spiritual growth and development through your connection with nature. By taking time to connect with your spirituality and your connection to nature, and by allowing yourself to sink into that bond, you allow the earth to help refresh your spirit and create a stronger connection to your spiritual self as well as the world around you.


Daily Self Kindness

After the housekeeper left, I allowed myself to have bit of a nap.  I also made sure to have my smoothie today, which will hopefully assist my stomach in behaving itself a bit better.

Finding the Fire Within – Part 1

Sofia Rito Lenormand

How can I discover my true self?

Rider and Stork – Trust yourself and your ability to weather change like a champ. More often than not,  you’re capable of seeing change coming long before it arrives. You already know yourself well enough to adapt without losing yourself in the shuffle, but by not ignoring what you see coming you can give yourself a bit of extra time to not get flustered and stay true to the path you want to be on and person you want to be.

What fears are holding me back from growth?

Letter and Lady – Ugh.  Seriously?  Okay so… yes.  I have mommy issues.  I fear the loss of my mother’s love and care, regardless of the fact that I’ve never really had all that much of it in the first place. I fear the painful and even cruel things she might say, and how much they would hurt to hear them from her.

I am not in any way, shape, or form, dishonest with her about who I am or what I do… but, there is a fear in me of losing what little… love there is from that corner somehow and I avoid her for this reason.  This avoidance and the fear that it’s rooted in hold me back in my personal growth and are a theme of shadow work that I need to look at exploring in the future.

What external factors are holding me back?

Tower and Key – Yes… I also have authority issues.  Although I am able to function around those issues for the most part, there are times when I struggle. Customs and border patrol agents, police officers, etc… these authority figures trigger my issues, especially if they are playing the “authoritarian” card in their interactions with me.  It does hold me back, too, because once I’ve been triggered and my back is up, it becomes far less likely I’ll be able to deal with them in my normally unflappable-seeming manner… causing hold ups and delays that otherwise wouldn’t happen.

How have these internal and external factors hindered my growth?

Crossroads and Book – They can cause you to be shortsighted, and not be as observant on gathering as much information as is needed to develop past these issues.

What would it be like to release those fears?

Scythe and Garden – Less cutting inner narrative. Less fear of external cutting narratives. This would result in more confidence because these things would no longer be a deciding factor and would carry far less weight than they do now.

I forgot to do the self care card at the bottom.  But, I did do a self care reading on Saturday.