Sleep Deprivation and Chainsaws

Today’s meditation was skipped because I dozed off.

Luna Sol Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is The Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of being in possession of all of the skills, abilities, and tools necessary to reach one’s goals and accomplish one’s ends. It’s about being capable and skilled, resourceful and gifted with what is needed to get the job done.

I’ve been seeing the Magician a lot lately. In fact it’s been daily… maybe even multiple times per day over the past week or so.

The message from the Magician when combined with the affirmation card for today is a reminder that you can have all the skillz and tools in the world, but if you’re not getting the rest that your body and mind needs?  You’re not going to be able to actually use those tools as intended.

And keep in mind that sleep deprivation is not the only type of lack of rest there is.  Pushing too hard, demanding too much, stressing over every little thing… all of these things are also things you need rest from in order to function at full capacity.


CoffeexTarot’s Self Love For The Summer Prompt
Questions for June 29th & 30th

Prairie Majesty Oracle and Luna Sol TarotHow can I bring more peace into my life?
Earthworm (Breathe) and Five of Disks

Stop worrying so much about failure.  Let go of your scarcity issues and the fear that you’ve allowed to drive you for so long. It’s okay to ease up on yourself and breathe. Shit is not going to fall apart just because you’re not pushing yourself past your limits.

How can I accept more love this summer?
Two of Swords, Prairie Dog (Dig) atop Dickcissel (Warble)

This answer echoes back to the previous question and the need to make definitive decisions about how you want things to go in your life now.  Are you going to allow yourself to be driven by fear and dictated by your past?  Or are you going to step forward into a kinder and more genuinely -you- way of treating yourself that doesn’t involve being abusive to yourself? The healthy choice is obvious, and leads to that acceptance of love mentioned in this prompt.


#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about… and give it a go!

Mykologia Fungi Themed Oracle and The Brady Tarot

A Card to Begin the Second Half of the Year
Red Cage (Clathrus ruber) / Stagnancy – You have been feeling a bit stuck in your growth for a while now, twisting against the caged bonds that you can’t quite seem to break free of. Part of this is a discomfort with letting go of the familiar, but don’t discount the idea that outside influences are also at play here.

Progress of Seeds Planted in Early 2021
Anemone Stinkhorn (Aseroe rubra) / Like Attracts Like – Are you perpetuating what you want or are you encouraging negative influences to flow. If you want positivity, luck, and happiness then you need to work at promoting happiness in your life.  This is why you are currently stuck in limbo and confusion.  You’re not being decisive enough, and you’re not working hard enough to push toward optimism.

Action to Take to Reach My Goals
Brain Mushroom (Gyromitra esculenta) / Intellect – You need to tip a bit back toward logic and intellect.  You’re rushing the emotions thing and that’s creating a negative influence and impatience.  Ease up a bit.  It’s okay to lean into logic.  You don’t have to discount one to foster the growth and health of the other.

A Key Thing Coming In For Me This Year
Reishi (Ganoderma lucidum) / Lucidity – Clarity of thought including finding clarity in the places where you are now struggling in a fog of confusion.  You have the opportunity to seize that clarity and make it your own, and from there to better express to others not just how you are feeling but where these feelings come from.  It’s here in this place of clarity and expression where you’ll find balance.

Outside Influences: Positive or Negative
Destroying Angel (Amanita bisporigera) / Second Guesses – When your instinct or intuition says something, make damned sure that you’re listening.  It’s so easy sometimes to fall into second guessing those intuitive moments or instinctual reactions.  But… they are never wrong.  Ever.  So don’t argue against them, just listen and act according to their guidance.

Who or What Will Assist Me?
Wood Ear (Auricularia auricula-judae) / Speaking (Up) – Be true to who you are and don’t hide that from the world.  Allow self expression to ring true and shine bright.  You are at your best when you are genuinely presenting yourself to the world, so bare your soul and show people what you’re made of by sharing your truth and your values with those around you.

A “Wild Card” For The Rest of the Year
Yartsa Gunbu (Ophiocordyceps sinensis) / Sexuality – Okay so this has been a bit of a “wild card” for you ever since the cancer.  Remember that it’s okay for your drive to go up and down, and Gideon is not going to blame you for having times when you just can’t kick your libido into gear.  Your sex drive is unpredictable.  It happens.  Enjoy it when it’s active, and allow yourself to rest and enjoy other things with him when it’s not.

My Theme Card For The Remainder of 2021
Black Truffle (Tuber melanosporum) / Self-Care – The remainder of 2021 will continue to focus on finding a balance in your life between self-care and your responsibilities, and learning how to put your self-care as a priority without allowing guilt to slide in and try to spoil the experience.

JulyNine of Roots (Accomplishment) – For the month of July, work on focusing on how much you’ve accomplished and in being grateful for all that you have. Now isn’t the time to push for more, but to live in the moment and appreciate all the good in your life.

AugustMother of Horns – It’s possible that August is going to be a bit of a struggle for you this year.  The urge to push forward and plow through time you should be resting in order to work instead will be strong.  Make sure you are focusing on taking care of yourself, as well as those around you.

September –  Two of Roots (Equilibrium) – The beginning of this month is the slowest time of year for your business, and the end of the month ramps up into the first preparations for the holiday season soon to come.  Direct your focus on making sure you are creating a good balance between work and home and your self care, so that as work responsibilities begin to build, you aren’t neglecting these other aspects of your life.

OctoberThe Star – Preparation is the name of the game for October, with a hopeful eye on the months to come and the holiday rush just around the corner.  This month is filled with hope and anticipation. Make sure to keep that energy as well as the demands you put on yourself gentle, and balance your energy to give yourself the rest and care you need.

November Five of Arrows (Defeat) – As the holiday season begins its rush within the beginnings of this month, it can be a difficult shift to move from a more rested and balanced way of life to the constant demands that the business requires at this part of the year.  As self care takes a back seat and balance goes out the window, by the end of the month you end up feeling as if you are already at the end of your rope.  Remember… by the end of November?  There’s only 3 weeks of holiday rush left to go.  You may feel run into the ground, but you can do this.

DecemberDaughter of Feathers – A second wind, or maybe just finding your groove, either way you’ll find that dragging ass feeling from the previous month lifts as you  move into December.  Focus on the future, focus on what you enjoy about your work, and your passion for what you do and what you love about what you do will carry you through the rest of the rush and allow you to find that breather at the end of the month that you need.


Daily Self Kindness

I acknowledged that I was feeling distracted and flighty, and agreed to pausing play with Gideon for some quiet together time in IMs instead of trying to push myself to continue playing.

Weekly Creativity Prompt – Doomed From the Start

Prompt: “Draw up to three cards from your tarot (or oracle) and use them for guidance in choosing something to share with us about your childhood.”

d'Morte Disney Tarot

My sister and I once made a plan that was doomed from the start. (The Tower)

We decided to force our father to treat us as equals by cutting her hair like mine and dressing identically so that he couldn’t tell us apart. (Strength Rx)

Instead, it resulted in him following through on a threat he’d made a number of times in the past, and he took the door off our bedroom and the bathroom too. (Death)


Breaks Are Not Setbacks

Today’s meditation was done submerged in the bathtub today.  Well, submerged all but my nose, mouth, and knees anyway.  It was another hot day and I took a cool bath and did my meditation in there during my hour of cool-down. There was no real focus other than on my breathing and the cooling, calming sensation of the water all around me.

Inner Child Cards Fairy Tale Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Nine of Crystals (Pentacles), which is traditionally a representation of personal satisfaction and satiation with one’s home life, abundance, and financial independence.  This is the well earned moment where you realize all you have worked toward and feel gratitude for that.  It is the last step of accomplishment before we begin to share our good fortune with those around us.

The thing is, in order for many to get to this point in their lives, they feel that they have work themselves to the bone and that they need to be on top of every little thing and in control 100% of the time.

The reminder in the combination of the Nine of Pentacles with the affirmation card for today is that your goals don’t require constant diligence and supervision. It’s okay to enjoy what you have in the now. Momentum will keep things moving forward, even while you take a break.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Where do I want to be 10, 15 or 20 years from now?

She Whispers Her Truth OracleAlthough I don’t really look so far ahead, I thought that this reading might be fun to help tell me what things I might likely be into doing or be of interest to me through these long term perspectives.

Ten Years From NowSelfless – Whether I am committing more time to reading for others, or more time teaching and mentoring others, I can see this being something I’d be interested in exploring.  Ten years from now I will be forty-three and my mortgage should be fully paid off.  Without that weighty responsibility weighing on me, it’s possible I’d have a bit more free time to do these sort of things with.

Fifteen Years From NowInvestigate – Still interested in exploring new things and seeking out answers.  At forty-eight years old, it would be terrific to still be fostering a sense of excitement and curiosity at the mysteries before me. The possibility of new ideas, passions, and interests keeping things fresh and life interesting sounds good to me.

Twenty Years From NowAwaken – A new journey… and new potential.  At fifty-three years old, the peacock indicates that even as I move into a different stage of life and deal with the issues that new stage will hold for me, I’ll be ready to stretch myself and seek new motivation to keep me going.  New goals could inspire new changes.


#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
: About similarities…
Question: How can I strengthen my awareness of the similarities between myself and others?

Inner Child Cards Fairy Tale TarotCinderella (The Moon) and Earth Child (The World)

These cards are calling me out on my uncertainty when interacting with others.  I don’t think that most people realize just how awkward I feel when interacting with others.  The Moon here is a reminder that I’m not the only one that feels that way.  Lots of people have social anxieties and uncertainties.  The World  then steps into this reminder to let me know that it’s okay to feel that newness and awkwardness, as it’s a part of the process of growth.

Ten of Crystals (Pentacles)

I have a lot to offer. I don’t always feel like it, but even though I might see myself as inconvenient, awkward, and a pain in the ass… others don’t.  They see someone that has accomplished a great deal and is happy to share what they’ve learned along the way with everyone else.


Daily Self Kindness

Cool bath time again today.  I soaked in a nice cool bath for about an hour earlier today after I’d pulled the decks I’m putting into rotation next month (and put away all of this month’s other than the one’s I’m using tomorrow).

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

Hybrid Tarot - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Sun – Keep faith that everything is going to turn out just right.  Optimism and  focusing on the direction you want to go in will ensure that as you move forward through the month of July that you continue to head in the right direction. Hold on to the optimistic view that everything will turn out okay in the end… and you’ll find that’s exactly what will happen.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Rider – Keep in mind that every day is a new day.  You don’t have to carry all that crap with you from one day to the next.  Exhale and let it go, then surge forward with renewed energy and a more positive outlook (The Sun above) to tackle the new day with vigor and an open mind.

Star Wand: What accelerates your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Coffin – Ride the change and allow your adaptability to shine.  Sometimes what sparks that inner creative glimmer and creative energy of manifestations isn’t about what’s familiar but in finding creative ways to adapt to change and mold those moment  to work for us even when within the grasp of changing tides.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Clover – Optimism brings luck, so look up and let the luck roll in.  You’re being given the opportunity to “sweeten the pot” by fostering an echo of luck and joy in your life through the optimistic lens you seek to look at life through.  Don’t give up… good things are coming.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Cross – You have been through a lot.  Fall back on these experiences and what you have learned from them to help you through struggles or challenges this month.  You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here, you’ve already experienced all the hardships needed to possess the knowledge and skills required to overcome what may come.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Heart – Finding “your place” in how you care about others, feel about others, and connect with others. This month will help you come to a better understanding of what you contribute to other’s lives, and how much they mean to you.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Scythe – Making a clean break. You’ve been struggling for quite some time to let go of old habits in order to make room for new better ones to take their place. You’ve struggled to find the catalyst that will allow you to truly let go. This card indicates that the epiphany that you’ve been searching for is coming and will be based in cold hard logic.