Sleep Deprivation and Chainsaws

Today’s meditation was skipped because I dozed off.

Luna Sol Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is The Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of being in possession of all of the skills, abilities, and tools necessary to reach one’s goals and accomplish one’s ends. It’s about being capable and skilled, resourceful and gifted with what is needed to get the job done.

I’ve been seeing the Magician a lot lately. In fact it’s been daily… maybe even multiple times per day over the past week or so.

The message from the Magician when combined with the affirmation card for today is a reminder that you can have all the skillz and tools in the world, but if you’re not getting the rest that your body and mind needs?  You’re not going to be able to actually use those tools as intended.

And keep in mind that sleep deprivation is not the only type of lack of rest there is.  Pushing too hard, demanding too much, stressing over every little thing… all of these things are also things you need rest from in order to function at full capacity.


CoffeexTarot’s Self Love For The Summer Prompt
Questions for June 29th & 30th

Prairie Majesty Oracle and Luna Sol TarotHow can I bring more peace into my life?
Earthworm (Breathe) and Five of Disks

Stop worrying so much about failure.  Let go of your scarcity issues and the fear that you’ve allowed to drive you for so long. It’s okay to ease up on yourself and breathe. Shit is not going to fall apart just because you’re not pushing yourself past your limits.

How can I accept more love this summer?
Two of Swords, Prairie Dog (Dig) atop Dickcissel (Warble)

This answer echoes back to the previous question and the need to make definitive decisions about how you want things to go in your life now.  Are you going to allow yourself to be driven by fear and dictated by your past?  Or are you going to step forward into a kinder and more genuinely -you- way of treating yourself that doesn’t involve being abusive to yourself? The healthy choice is obvious, and leads to that acceptance of love mentioned in this prompt.


#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about… and give it a go!

Mykologia Fungi Themed Oracle and The Brady Tarot

A Card to Begin the Second Half of the Year
Red Cage (Clathrus ruber) / Stagnancy – You have been feeling a bit stuck in your growth for a while now, twisting against the caged bonds that you can’t quite seem to break free of. Part of this is a discomfort with letting go of the familiar, but don’t discount the idea that outside influences are also at play here.

Progress of Seeds Planted in Early 2021
Anemone Stinkhorn (Aseroe rubra) / Like Attracts Like – Are you perpetuating what you want or are you encouraging negative influences to flow. If you want positivity, luck, and happiness then you need to work at promoting happiness in your life.  This is why you are currently stuck in limbo and confusion.  You’re not being decisive enough, and you’re not working hard enough to push toward optimism.

Action to Take to Reach My Goals
Brain Mushroom (Gyromitra esculenta) / Intellect – You need to tip a bit back toward logic and intellect.  You’re rushing the emotions thing and that’s creating a negative influence and impatience.  Ease up a bit.  It’s okay to lean into logic.  You don’t have to discount one to foster the growth and health of the other.

A Key Thing Coming In For Me This Year
Reishi (Ganoderma lucidum) / Lucidity – Clarity of thought including finding clarity in the places where you are now struggling in a fog of confusion.  You have the opportunity to seize that clarity and make it your own, and from there to better express to others not just how you are feeling but where these feelings come from.  It’s here in this place of clarity and expression where you’ll find balance.

Outside Influences: Positive or Negative
Destroying Angel (Amanita bisporigera) / Second Guesses – When your instinct or intuition says something, make damned sure that you’re listening.  It’s so easy sometimes to fall into second guessing those intuitive moments or instinctual reactions.  But… they are never wrong.  Ever.  So don’t argue against them, just listen and act according to their guidance.

Who or What Will Assist Me?
Wood Ear (Auricularia auricula-judae) / Speaking (Up) – Be true to who you are and don’t hide that from the world.  Allow self expression to ring true and shine bright.  You are at your best when you are genuinely presenting yourself to the world, so bare your soul and show people what you’re made of by sharing your truth and your values with those around you.

A “Wild Card” For The Rest of the Year
Yartsa Gunbu (Ophiocordyceps sinensis) / Sexuality – Okay so this has been a bit of a “wild card” for you ever since the cancer.  Remember that it’s okay for your drive to go up and down, and Gideon is not going to blame you for having times when you just can’t kick your libido into gear.  Your sex drive is unpredictable.  It happens.  Enjoy it when it’s active, and allow yourself to rest and enjoy other things with him when it’s not.

My Theme Card For The Remainder of 2021
Black Truffle (Tuber melanosporum) / Self-Care – The remainder of 2021 will continue to focus on finding a balance in your life between self-care and your responsibilities, and learning how to put your self-care as a priority without allowing guilt to slide in and try to spoil the experience.

JulyNine of Roots (Accomplishment) – For the month of July, work on focusing on how much you’ve accomplished and in being grateful for all that you have. Now isn’t the time to push for more, but to live in the moment and appreciate all the good in your life.

AugustMother of Horns – It’s possible that August is going to be a bit of a struggle for you this year.  The urge to push forward and plow through time you should be resting in order to work instead will be strong.  Make sure you are focusing on taking care of yourself, as well as those around you.

September –  Two of Roots (Equilibrium) – The beginning of this month is the slowest time of year for your business, and the end of the month ramps up into the first preparations for the holiday season soon to come.  Direct your focus on making sure you are creating a good balance between work and home and your self care, so that as work responsibilities begin to build, you aren’t neglecting these other aspects of your life.

OctoberThe Star – Preparation is the name of the game for October, with a hopeful eye on the months to come and the holiday rush just around the corner.  This month is filled with hope and anticipation. Make sure to keep that energy as well as the demands you put on yourself gentle, and balance your energy to give yourself the rest and care you need.

November Five of Arrows (Defeat) – As the holiday season begins its rush within the beginnings of this month, it can be a difficult shift to move from a more rested and balanced way of life to the constant demands that the business requires at this part of the year.  As self care takes a back seat and balance goes out the window, by the end of the month you end up feeling as if you are already at the end of your rope.  Remember… by the end of November?  There’s only 3 weeks of holiday rush left to go.  You may feel run into the ground, but you can do this.

DecemberDaughter of Feathers – A second wind, or maybe just finding your groove, either way you’ll find that dragging ass feeling from the previous month lifts as you  move into December.  Focus on the future, focus on what you enjoy about your work, and your passion for what you do and what you love about what you do will carry you through the rest of the rush and allow you to find that breather at the end of the month that you need.


Daily Self Kindness

I acknowledged that I was feeling distracted and flighty, and agreed to pausing play with Gideon for some quiet together time in IMs instead of trying to push myself to continue playing.

One thought on “Sleep Deprivation and Chainsaws

  1. So I read all that and midway through I had to pause and go to IM and tell you how I love you…Always. In all ways…Just to reassure you that it’s not -about- that. A very very hot bonus, but not about that.

    I love you. So much. So much.

    And I hope that whatever has got you distracted and flighty tonight settles, baby.

    By the way, you are too impatient with yourself and that emotional growth thing, love. You are doing FAR better than I think you realize…just relax, babe. You’re doing great. You still have some learning to do about not taking on too much(gave you a reminder of that earlier today, actually) but you’re getting there. You’re doing great, my love. You are…

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s