Brain Shuffle

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and I did something a little different today (which I’m surprised my phone cooperated with me and it worked).  Essentially I overlaid my harp meditation with the incremental chimes over-top the guided meditation.  So I got both the guide’s voice doing her guided meditation thing, and the harp in the background, and the occasional charms that tell me when to change positions in my stretch.   It sounds complicated, but it was really great and definitely something I’ll be doing again.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Page of Air (Page of Swords) which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, logic, and the realm of communication.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today was the swirling of the fish around the central figure.   This swirling reminds me of the confusion that I sometimes go through when my brain has one of it’s “moments”.

This got me to thinking about why sometimes I’ll get in the habit of doing something (like messaging you as soon as I get home from work, for instance) and I’ll do that for a while and then suddenly I just stop. I know this is something that confuses you when it has something to do with how I interact with you specifically. But I want you to know that it’s not just you, and in truth?  I don’t even realize when it happens.  It’s sort of as if my brain goes through some sort of cyclical reshuffling on a periodic basis. At these times, some small things get lost in the shuffle, and then when things re-shuffle again (or you remind me)… they resurface.

I don’t know if this is natural and something that everyone goes through… or if it’s part of the results of the head injury that I experienced when I was younger that still at times screws with my memory. Either way, the fish in today’s card brought this to mind, and I think that the message here isn’t so much a “moral of the story” message as it is an encouragement for me to think about this in general and let it become something I’m more conscious of as a whole, even if I don’t realize it’s happening in the moment.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question
:  How are fear and shame playing into my refusal to acknowledge my purpose?

Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion Pack

Reading Summary: There is a continuation of color in these cards that indicates a building from one card to the next.  In the first card, you have a moose among men and he swings with them without fear of condemnation or reprisal… shameless.   In the center card, the knight stands in the mouth of the monster without fear or either falling or being eaten alive… fearless.  In the last card, the owl eats fruit from its own brain tree, indicating self sufficiency.

Take Away:  I am shameless and fearless in this area. I am centered in my purpose and know my path well as it is the path I chose for myself.

This has always been the case for me, and I honestly have no idea where the confidence to walk my own path came from.  It’s just always been there.  I know what I like and no amount of fear or shame can sway me from it.  I know what’s right for me, whether that’s something I like or some moral dilemma, or the steps taken along my spiritual path or my life path.

I honestly have struggled with the Tarot for Growth questions for the past few days, because struggling to find my purpose is just not something that I personally have an issue with, so the questions that focus upon that issue are really not something I relate well to.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
:  What do I need to focus on for self-care for this upcoming full moon?

Numinous TarotReading Summary:  Take some time to appreciate all that you’ve accomplished (Ten of Tomes), with extra emphasis placed upon the fact that you have accomplished these things by being the capable and resourceful individual that you are (The Magician).  Use this knowledge to push back against (Explorer of Bells) that inner critic that keeps trying to beat you into submission lately (Three of Bells).

Take Away:  My inner critic is a son of a bitch.  It’s no secret that this is something that I struggle with a lot. It works hard to convince me that nothing I do is ever good enough or ever enough at all. It pushes me forward, driving me to always give my all to every little thing… and the thing is?  It’s not just exhausting, but it’s impossible to give your all to every little thing.  With this upcoming full moon, the cards remind me to not give that inner critic credence, but instead look at all that I have done and how capable these accomplishments prove that I am… no matter what that inner critic says to the contrary.

DECK USED:  NUMINOUS TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:
  stop // use caution // go

Women of Science Tarot

Stop – Three of Astro – Don’t allow your thoughts to pick apart at your inner confidence. It’s important to take what that inner critic says with a grain of salt.

Use Caution – Three of Macro and Justice – Pay attention to what tasks you are farming out to others.  You have exacting standards, and you don’t want to hand out tasks to others that will lower the quality of the end results.

Go – Ten of Astro – As a previous reading I did earlier in the week stated, it’s time to move forward with the transition and growth that I’m going through.  I’ve spent time gathering wool and exploring, but I can’t stay still forever.  It’s time to consciously work on letting go of the old and stepping into the new.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

Soothing Warmth

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was one of the harp tone meditations where I sink into the sounds of the harp while chimes mark position changes for my piriformis stretching. It was easy and relaxing, and went by really quickly for some reason.  It’s odd how some days, that ten minutes can feel like an hour… and other days it feels like just a few minutes instead of a whole ten.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - Madre of Fire - ThymeToday’s draw is the Madre of Fire (Queen of Wands) which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s drive, passionate endeavors, interests, and inner spark.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today (besides the huge harvest of thyme) was the honey pot. Thymus vulgaris and honey are used to make natural cough syrup that has a warming and soothing effect on both wet and dry coughs as well as bronchitis.

The message I hear from this card today is that I need to focus on some self soothing.  There’s been a bit of irritation going on lately that flares up then eases and flares up again over the past couple of weeks.   I’ve not been able to really find an underlying source, and the card here indicates maybe the goal shouldn’t be so much about digging in the dirt, but in easing the blisters on my fingertips.

DECK USED:  THE HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:
What does my subconscious want to say that I’m ignoring?

Student Tarot 4 Godard's BirdsReading Summary: Instant gratification (Queen of Swords) is all well and good, but you need to seize control of yourself (King of Swords) now so that you don’t lose sight of the long-term growth (Seven of Pentacles) that is your ultimate goal.

Side Note:  Instant gratification indicated in the Queen of Swords is in reference to me relating the Queen of Swords to my mother, and my mother’s nearly universal attitude of “I want what I want, and I want it NOW”.  This is a personal correlation and “instant gratification” is not normally associated with the Queen of Swords.

Take Away:  It’s time to slow down on my spending a bit and take a more measured approach so that I don’t find myself in hot water down the road.  I did a bit of splurging on playing card decks over the past month, and while those decks are pretty inexpensive (compared to tarot), they still add up over time.   Add to that a bit of carelessness in my grocery spending, and I’m at that point where I need to get things back in hand again.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT 4 GODARD’S BIRDS

Ingenuity and Adaptation

Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and was a centering meditation I use to find focus sometimes before doing client readings.

In this type of meditation, I often place labradorite on my solar plexus for soothing calm, smoky quartz on my forehead for clarity, clear quartz in my left palm for a wash of cleansing energy, and honey calcite in my left to attune myself to exuding a positive and caring influence on others.

This meditation is about attuning myself into these stones and their energies, and creating a flow of energy that sweeps through these different locations and qualities in order to create a sense of centering and ease.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Knight of Fire (Wands) which is traditionally interpreted as an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passionate endeavors, drive, innovations, and that inner spark that creates interest and pushes us forward.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the rope and climbing hook that the imposter soldier is carrying.   The difference between him and the other soldiers is obvious, and yet he blends in even as he goes about his own thing.

The message here is that sometimes the things you do to protect yourself and others aren’t about confrontation. Rather, they are about knowing your skills and using them with ingenuity to get where you want to go.  Not everything has to be a fight or a struggle.  Think outside the box and find a better way.

I’m not sure where this message fits into my life at this moment, but the message rings true and relevant, as if it is something I need to keep in mind in order to adjust my behavior when needed so that things can go more smoothly than the would otherwise.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
A Mistake Made / A Lesson Learned

Midcenturian TarotReading Summary: When your crown becomes too heavy (King of Wands), you can’t always run away from your problems (Six of Swords). The lesson is that you continue to carry the stresses and worries with you instead of leaving them behind (Nine of Swords).

Take Away:  When I emancipated from my parent’s home, I expected that my life would be transformed and so would I. The new freedom was expected to give me a new perspective… and it did. But what I didn’t do was erase the damage of what had come before. That damage was carried with me and had to be dealt with regardless of the fact that I had moved on in other ways.

You can’t leave the damage done to you behind in the past.  It won’t heal by being buried or shoved aside.  Instead, it will fester under the surface until you ultimately decide to (or are forced to) deal with it.

DECK USED:  MIDCENTURIAN TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
what is vulnerable // what is safe // what protects

Evolution Tarot

What is Vulnerable – Ace of Potions – My emotional growth.

What is Safe – Three of Coins – My business and working with friends to keep it stable.

What Protects – Queen of Wands – My inner spark that keeps me moving forward even when I do so at a slower pace.

Take Away:  This reading is about my current transition and the efforts I’m taking to stay on track with my emotional growth rather than allowing myself to delve back into the familiar shove of responsibility.   The fact that I am allowing others in and to help me is giving me the room that I need to keep that growth going and keep myself from closing off and bearing down in the physical world or responsibilities.  Instead, I’m allowed to explore while letting my inner spark move me forward instead of fear and obligation.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: A card to describe your creative self.

Albano Waite Tarot - Eight of PentaclesI am a hard worker that likes to hone my creativity into expertise.  I also have a habit of taking my creative interests and turning it into money making endeavors.

I think this is a part of the reason that I find it hard to just “relax and be creative”.  For me creativity is more than just something you do in your spare time or enjoy as a hobby.  Nearly everything I do has a creative aspect to it, which incorporates creativity into every aspect of my life in one way or another, including in how I make my money and provide resources for myself, my home, and my loved ones.

DECK USED:  ALBANO WAITE TAROT

 

Cleansing Energies and Fresh Air

Today’s meditation was just under twenty minutes long, and was another purr-focused meditation as Luna again decided to come cuddle up against the side of my head while I was meditating, which shifted my focus from my breathing to her purring.

I really like this type of meditation.  It’s extremely relaxing.  I didn’t immediately fall asleep this time, but it was still really nice and I ended up lingering longer than I would have because I was really enjoying it.

The Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of hope, joyous celebration, and all around good ol’ fun.

Spiritually speaking, Hypericum perforatum (St Johns Wort) is used to invoke the healing powers of light against the darkness and this is expressed no more evidently than it’s medical use as well, as medically this herb is best known for its anti-depressant properties.

The message in today’s card is about seeking out positive healing experiences and spending time outside soaking up the goodness of vitamin D while taking in the cleansing energies and fresh air of being outside among nature.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:
Why am I struggling to be honest with myself?

Aquarian Tarot

Reading Summary: Because change is hard… Juggling in my old way of doing things is hard to let go of (Two of Pentacles) because that familiarity is comforting to me (Six of Cups) and makes it difficult to choose a different path (Two of Rods).

Take Away:  It’s difficult to admit when you’re struggling, and that applies to me as well. I struggle all the time with the draw of the familiar and temptation to sink back into what I know so well rather than staying focused on the new path I’ve chosen for myself.  That struggle is… embarrassing and something that’s difficult to admit.

DECK USED:  AQUARIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Is it always better to have more choices?

Wheel of the Year TarotReading Summary: There are always more choices available to us than we realize (The Fool). But as humans, we are not in the habit (The Devil) of seeking them out and instead stick with what we know (Six of Cups). When we do this, we miss out on long reaching opportunities and rewards (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I would interpret this answer as yes… and no.  What it’s saying is that we only perceive the number of choices we are able to handle… but that there are always more out there we cannot see.  When we open our minds to them, they become available to us… so I guess in my opinion this would be a yes.   Because the more open minded you are to possibilities and thinking outside the box, the more choices you have available to you… and I consider open mindedness and thinking outside the box to always be a good thing.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic
:  plant the seed // take root // grow

Karma Tarot

Plant the seeds of doing things in a more patient and measured way (Knight of Coins)

Take root a more restrained approach (Temperance) over the wild charge driven by passionate intensity and interest (Knight of Swords).

Grow each day that you follow this path. With each day you practice this new form of patience, restraint, and measured approach, you build up the ability to instill these traits into your daily life with more skill and less effort (Strength).

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I believe I am creative? Why or Why not?

The Fifth TarotReading Summary: Yes (One of Shells). This is evident because I struggle with keeping a balance (Seven of Feathers Rx) between my responsibilities (Nine of Feathers) and the passion of my inner spark that drives me to go after and take part in (more like get carried away by) the things that inspire my creativity (Initiate of Fire). I often feel that my responsibilities (Nine of Feathers) are stealing away from (Seven of Feathers) my creative time (Initiate of Fire), and vice versa.

Take Away:  If I was not creative, there would be no struggle between my responsibilities and my passionate pursuit of those things that strike my interest.  It is in my nature to be both earthbound and realistic (Taurus Sun) as well as creativity driven (Scorpio Moon).  This conflict between the two is evidence of both sides of the coin and the constant need to find balance between them… thus evidence of my creativity.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT