In an evening nap today, I dreamed that I was at a hospital and a nurse was performing CPR on a small body. MY body.

She sat in her window in the wall as I stood on the other side of the counter outside of my body and watching.

My body was that of a child or baby, and I watched as the woman’s fingers did compressions and paused to give me breaths again and again. She tried for a total of four cycles, and i watched her through it all. I remember her fingers were dark on my skin, the nail beds more pale than the skin surrounding them as they worked at the compressions on that little chest.

I felt no fear as I watched, only hope and a hint of curiosity.

She then looked up and straight at me. She had so much sadness in her dark eyes. She was lovely with mahogany colored skin and a thin slightly heart-shaped face, and she had such a deep sadness and regret in her dark eyes.

I wanted to tell her it’s okay, and I mouthed the words. Then there was a vision of a red string being cut by scissors… and I woke up.