One Brick at a Time

IMG_3365Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused upon allowing yourself to step back and see a bigger picture.  I’ve kind of lost what the whole message of this meditation was about, but what really stuck with me concerning it is how sometimes, when I need some especially calming meditation, I lie down in the bottom of the tub with the shower running and watch the drops of water slowly drip down the sidewall of the tub.

Sometimes, I need that. That closed off and bearing down on the minuscule.  Sometimes when the world becomes overwhelming, that time can help me find center in the middle of the overload.

But it’s important not to stay there.  You have to be able to bring yourself back open tot he world again.  If not?  It’s not healthy.

The Tower - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Tower card, which is traditionally a representation of sudden changes that cause chaos and upheaval.

Sometimes the stuff that falls apart needs to do so.  And sometimes?  What needs to fall apart has to do so at our own hands. The Tower is a representation of chaos and destruction, but there’s nothing here in this imagery that speaks to me of it necessarily being a surprise.

There’s only so much space in the world.  Sometimes when we outgrow our egg, we have to crack it and break free of the shell in order to find something better.  Sometimes?  No one can do this work but you, yourself.

These Tower moments are by choice, but that makes them no less powerful.  In the rubble of the mess laid bare, you can then build something better in its place.  Now is the time of destruction and that’s okay.  Just keep in mind when the dust settles that returning to the old way of life is like a chick trying to crawl back inside it’s busted egg.   It isn’t going to work.   It’s time to build something new in its place.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: How can I continue to align myself with lunar and seasonal energies moving forward?

Arcana Iris Sacra Tarot

Reading Summary: Even in times when things are good (Nine of Cups) and it feels like it’s a good time to rest (Nine of Wands) and take stock (Nine of Discs), always stay open to learning new things (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  These cards are about dedication. It’s always easy to reach for your faith when times are hard.  In difficult times it’s natural to reach for one’s faith for stability and hope. But in good times, we often forget as we become distracted by other things.  We slack off on leaving offerings, and do not place our faith and its customs as a priority.  The cards are indicating that to continue aligning myself with the seasonal and lunar energies moving forward, it is important to remember to continue upon my  path and in the elements of my faith in good times and bad.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: How do other’s perceive me?

Tarot of the Silicone Dawn

Reading Summary: Enabler… Okay so that’s an intuitive hit but let me work it out.

It has to do with using my long history of experience (Six of Cups) to spark the inspiration of others to go after what makes them happy (Devil and Ace of Cups), even if that sometimes means that they use their resources towards that end rather than towards more practical means (Five of Swords and Seven of Wands).

Take Away: Slightly embarrassing moment?  I was scared when I pulled for this question that the cards would tell me that people perceived me as a know-it-all. 

What’s indicated in the cards is that I encourage people to go after what makes them happy rather than always opting for the practical and responsible option. I can definitely cop to this, especially in the tarot community. My enthusiasm for cartomancy and vast array of decks in my collection probably make this pretty inevitable.

As I have become more and more comfortable socializing in different tarot circles, rather than keeping to myself as I have in my past, I’ve found that I really enjoy sharing my collection as well as my enthusiasm with those that enjoy these things as well. I don’t really see anything wrong with that.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What have I learned about myself through this month’s tarot challenge?

78Tarot Elemental Tarot of the Natural

Reading Summary:  Too much time alone (The Hermit) leads to  a struggle concerning resistance to change (Death Rx) and indecision (Hanged Man Rx).  I handle these things better when they are shared with others (Two of Water).

Take Away:  Essentially?  I need the emotional support of others to help me though times of change and issues that create indecision and uncertainty.  When left on my own to deal with those times of change, I end up digging in my heels rather than allowing that change to flow over me and through my life.



Crumbling Pedestals

IMG_3347Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon something that I’ve been extolling upon for a few days now, which is the need to try and focus your mind and attention upon the present moment instead of wallowing in the bag and negative or getting wrapped up in the “what if” train of thought that can create huge amounts of anxiety.

I know it’s hard, and I’ve seen it said many times now when people see others say “please stay focused on the positive” that that advice is discounting everyone’s suffering and struggling, especially that of those less fortunate.   But that is not the case, no matter how much people want to believe it.

There are dying cancer patients and homeless weathering life in a cardboard box in the middle of winter who wallow in their misery and hate everything and everyone.  There are individuals in the exact same situation that choose to keep their focus on what’s good in life and seek out a positive outlook.

This isn’t a poor person vs rich person thing, not a blind to reality thing.  Those people in those situations with a positive outlook are not blind to reality.  They know how horrible things are and how difficult their situation is.   But they make the choice to seek something positive rather than wallowing in the negative.

It’s a “healthy mentality” thing.

The Emperor - Hush TarotToday’s draw is The Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of leadership, authority, stability, and strength and how these qualities are used to influence a  community.

What really stands out to me in this card is the hands.  Specifically the fact that the hands are pierced through and pinned in place.   The structure pierced through the hands is delicate, and thus requires a “delicate touch” to keep standing for those that walk beneath the threshold.

In this image, the hands have become to move, and the structure is falling.  What I feel is that there is a message here about the precarious pedestals that we build, both for ourselves and for others to sit upon.  No one is perfect.  We can’t expect others to be perfect, and we can’t expect ourselves to be either.   It’s important to keep that in mind so that our expectations of both ourselves and others can remain realistic.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: What fear am I being invited to conquer during this fresh turn of the wheel?

Goblin Tarot RWS Edition

Reading Summary: I fear becoming too cocky  (Nine of Cups) and ending up powerless (Seven of Swords) against destitution (Five of Pentacles) and unable to find the guidance or confidence (Hierophant) to pull myself out of the pit.

Take Away:  It’s always awkward when the cards call you out on shit you’re trying to hide from yourself.  Some of the lessons I’m learning this spring include those that will allow me to get a handle on my fear of “fucking up” and irreparably screwing myself over as a result.   This fear is the reason that, even when things are good, I work so damned hard and push myself so far beyond what is reasonable.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: What have I forgotten that needs to come back into focus?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

Reading Summary:  Being “on the right track” requires help from others (Three of Coins over Judgement) and this pandemic is no reason to slack on being good to yourself (Tower over Empress). Reach out to others and re-establish good relationships that may have become stagnant (Ace of Coins).

Take Away:  These cards are about building and maintaining relationships, and how the worth of those relationships goes beyond just having a friend and into being a part of self-care and nurturing the self.

I have a hard time establishing friendships usually, and especially in maintaining them. I struggle with small talk and general chatting, finding socialization quite awkward more often than not, especially with those I get to know well or want to know better. It’s much like dating, I guess.  I excelled at meeting new people and flirting and the one night stand…. but i sucked at establishing solid, long lasting friendships and relationships.

The cards here indicate that friendships I’ve let slide to the wayside may need re-examining and re-connection.


Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Playlist

(Posting a couple of days early this week)

Have you ever listened to a song and suddenly realized “This song is such a Tower song!”?  This week’s activity is based off the love of music and how we associate music with the world around us.

Activity:  Randomly draw five cards from your deck.  For each card pick (or find) a song that you feel fits that card perfectly.


The Emperor – Boss by NCT U

The Devil – Not an Addict by K’s Choice

Three of Swords – Bitter by Remy Zero

Nine of Swords – X Amount of Words by Blue October

Knight of Cups – I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie

What Is Under My Control?

IMG_3333Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused upon allowing for your flaws and imperfections, because it is only in imperfection that perfection itself can be found. We all have flaws and things about ourselves that we’re not proud off or are embarrassed about.   The topic of today’s meditation was to say that it’s okay.

It’s okay to be flawed.  It’s what makes us human.   Yes, I believe that it’s important to strive towards being better.  But, it’s also important to accept that your flaws are not something to hate about yourself.  You can strive to be better while still accepting that your present self is okay.

So many people spend their lives unwilling to know themselves well and love and accept themselves for who and what they are.  They hide from their flaws, refusing to see them or choosing to not accept them and shaming themselves. This feels like such a waste of time to me. If there is truly something about yourself that you do not like… wouldn’t a better use of that time be to work at improving in some way?  Whether that be through change of whatever that “flaw” might be… or through your perception of yourself possessing it.

Six of Pentacles - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is is the Six of Pentacles, which traditionally is a representation of give and take, harmony, and charity in the area of one’s finances, resources, and the physical world.  The card speaks of finding balance between the haves and the have-nots.

Like most of the cards I’ve pulled so far for this deck, what I see in the imagery of this card is a bit different than the traditional meaning.   I love this about this particular deck, and about the Hush Tarot as well, actually.

There is a balance here.  A form of charity here in the imagery of this card, but to me the imagery feels more like protection.   Between the circle of rope that feels like a barrier you would make when casting a circle of protection for magic, to the robed figure bent over to two sleeping forms…. it all speaks to me of protection.

The message here is about caring for those that need your help, and protecting what’s truly important.  In the mess of everything going on right now in the world, I think that like many others, I have sometimes become distracted by all the different worries and concerns going on.  I fuss over finances and I focus on all the shit that’s falling apart both in my life and in the economy…. but the message here is to not focus so much on those things out of your control.   Instead, it’s time to focus on what you can control and let the rest go.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: How can I embrace those shadows with loving kindness? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Wildwood Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Try to embrace what you have while you have it. You’ll be back to your regular amounts of alone time soon enough. Take advantage of this added time with those you love, and involve them in your works. Allow them to influence your work (both of the mundane and magical varieties) with their joyous feminine energy.

Take Away:  Instead of chafing against the added contact, I need to keep in mind how fortunate I am to have people to love me and care for me, and allow me to care for them in turn.  Yes, I miss my alone time, but this is also an opportunity to become closer with L and Z, and one way to do that is to invite them to help me in activities such as my home business work as well as in my spellcraft and rituals.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: What are my strengths when dealing with others?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary:  There is a sense of control and balance (Two of Coins) in how I relate to others while providing them with a feeling of security (Six of Cups) and comfort (Six of Coins).  This ability doesn’t come from a place of brute strength, but from a more subtle but solid sense of inner strength (La Forza).

Take Away:  This is about being reassuring and providing a sense of stable security.

I really hope that is true and is something that I provide for others, but I have very little ability to see myself through other’s eyes, and although I have the ability to examine multiple perspectives on a vast array of topics… I can’t seem to grasp the perspectives of others concerning myself.  Even the times when I’ve asked, I hear their perspectives… the good and the bad… and it’s really wonderful to hear but I can’t seem to see it myself when it’s about… myself.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: How can I continue to improve my intuitive messages?

Animal Totem Tarot

Reading Summary: Keep plugging away at it and stay focused on what I want while taking care to slip between the fingers of obstacles that try to get in my way.

Take Away:  My current journey for improving my intuition involves learning more about mediumship and how to control the ability that I discovered (unexpectedly) I possess last fall.   That said, in order to get to that point, I have a lot to learn first, including how to develop a stronger and more conscious relationship with my guides.

The cards indicate (much as a different reading on the same subject a couple months ago indicated) that it’s going to be a long road and take a lot of time and determination.  I can and will “get there”, but it’s going to take dedication and I need to watch out for pitfalls and road blocks along the way that could end up distracting me from my goal if I let them.



Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?


EarthThree of Swords and Cloak of Invisibility – Now is the time to turn around my attitudes and habits concerning my current situation.  Throw off that cloak and come out into the light and use this time to delve into the disaster of the physical world repercussions of Covid-19 on your life and fiercely confront and find a way forward from these struggles.  Be fierce… prepare to win.

AirEight of Wands, Empress, Skipping Stones – I need to look at delving for those things that will help nurture and calm me.  Now isn’t a time to be stirred up and agitated, it’s a time to pause and reflect, to wait, and seek out methods and paths that will fit you.  Now is a time for planning, not action.

WaterFive of Cups and Disappearing Ice – Take time to focus on what you do have instead of training your focus on what you don’t.  It’s time to count your blessings and work on accepting that there are some things that are out of your control. Once things are out of this holding pattern you will be able to find momentum and stability once more, but for now it’s time to let go and have a little faith that things will come around and balance out in the end.

FireSix of Swords and Flowers In Your Hair – Now is a time for taking a leap out of the stagnancy of worries and fears, and into the joy of exploration and creation.  Take advantage of this extra time not just to plan but have a little fun.  It’s okay to not work all the time… try and fit a little play and pleasure into this week as well.

WaningThe Bounty Fool – This is actually a really appropriate card for the moment, with funds on the decline and very little income coming in, and resources such as food and the like so difficult to find and keep up with. I read the book for this card, and it provides a reminder that I really like.  That reminder being that “there’s really no lack of abundance, only a lack of imagination controlling the moment”.   This is a really good point.  Although over the next week abundance may seem to be in steady decline, it will be important to remember that imagination and “outside of the box thinking” can help… and even step in to “save the day”.

WaxingThe Fool’s Tax –  The “Fool’s Tax” is the price you pay for not listening to your intuition and not following your inner guidance. Everyone has to pay up for bad choices because that’s how you learn from them.  Make sure that you are paying attention your intuitive voice and moral compass this week, and take care to make good choices in order to help mitigate such repercussions as much as possible.

Take Away – It’s time to start looking at things and dealing with the current situation a bit differently.  Beating yourself up isn’t working.  Now is a time to nurture and inspire.  Take time for fun and creativity as well as self care, and focus your mind and your drive upon preparing for when this cloud of disease and destruction lifts so that you can hit the ground running once this time of stillness and waiting has ended.


Take Your Medicine

IMG_3317Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and focused upon living in the present moment.  The past is gone to the unsubstantiality of memory, and the future has yet to become…. so the point of the meditation’s focus was that the present moment is all that we really have that is solid and real and that we can hold onto.

It is a reminder to stay present and not get carried away by what was or what could be, but to enjoy what you have in the now.    Honestly?  This was a good reminder for me, and I think would be a good reminder for a lot of people during this time.

How many have felt over worked to the point they dreamed of having some time off?  How many have felt so overwhelmed by social obligations that they just want to spend some time at home chilling and alone?  And yet, here it is.  Here we all have that chance and so many feel they can’t handle it and fuss and fight under the restrictions of some self-isolation.    Maybe this is an opportunity to relax and recover and restore ourselves that we will regret not taking once life is returning to the hectic juggling of responsibilities we’ll all eventually have to return to.

Queen of Wands - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands (honestly? The wands in this deck remind me far more of spears than wands) which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passions, drive, ambitions, and (in my case) creative spark. This often translates into themes that have to do with courage, ownership of one’s passions, confidence, and determination in the areas of the wand suit, including fostering the growth of those themes in others.

What stands out to me in this card today, though, is a variety of aspects including the submerged bird being held beneath the water by the woman that sits on it, and the little star being lowered into the bird’s mouth.  This speaks to me of that whole “I hurt you because I love you” mentality.  You know, like forcing a child to take their meds even if they fight and scream about it.

Today’s message is about doing my self care even when I’m not enthused about it.  I need to take care of myself as I would someone else that I love, and that means “taking my medicine” even when I don’t want to.  My efforts for self-care are a type of medicine and I need to make it happen even when I feel unmotivated towards doing those things.  Every time I am in the moment of doing them or have finished one of them, I’m always pleasantly surprised that I liked it more than I thought I would or that it was far easier than I thought it would be.  My mind blows up what needs done until it’s some huge task when really, they aren’t that huge at all… they’re just blown out of proportion.   So stop avoiding.  Stop procrastinating.  It’s time to start doing my self-care tasks whether I’m up for it or not.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: What shadows are being illuminated at this time?

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Intuitive Read:  Just how much I need myself some alone time.

Take Away:  So much time with others has made it clear just how much I need alone time now and then. Fortunately I am getting some in the morning when I’m going to the farm to work, and my work at the farm itself is also quite solitary most of the time.  It’s not the amount of alone time that I’m used to, but it definitely helps.   L and Z are also being very respectful of my need for time to do my yoga/physio and meditation and give me space for those moments as well.   That said?  All the social contact is a bit exhausting and I’m longing for that more extensive alone time I’m accustomed to.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2
What voice do I need to bring forward within myself to combat my self abuse?

Whispering Spirits Tarot

Reading Summary:  The butterfly in the first two cards speaks about gentle change and the synchronicity of colors and grass in contrast to the first card speaks of a transition from the theme of the first card through the second card and into the third card.

Take Away:  It’s time to move away from feeling all tense and defensive and wildly protective of those things I’ve worked so hard for but cannot actually control the outcome of right now.   Lean into my inner strengths as well and use them to prepare for what’s to come rather than trying to hold onto control that has already slipped from my grasp.   This isn’t an abrupt change but more of a gentle transition that involves shifting how I see things and think about them. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: Can you trust not to look at the “little white book”?

Green Witch Tarot

Reading Summary: During times of stress and anxiety (Nine of Athames), this is when the temptation to look at books is most strong.  But,  I am more likely to depend on my foundational education (Queen of Athames) and trust in my own capabilities (The World Tree) over the temptation of looking in a book (The Sidhe).

Take Away:  I already knew the answer to this but decided to see what the cards had to say anyway.  The response from the cards is spot on.  I don’t really use the little white books anymore.  Sometimes I will read them  when a deck first comes into my collection just to see if there is a different perspective, neat stories, or artist’s input to consider.   But when it comes to actually interpreting what the cards have to say in a reading, my first go-to is intuitive interpretation off imagery, and my second is my foundational knowledge about the cards and their meanings.

That said?  I do have a hard time coming up with words now and then… and in those times an online thesaurus is usually my friend, because if I can find a word close in meaning to the word I want, a thesaurus can then get me there when my mind is drawing a blank or the word is on the “tip of my tongue” but refuses to fully surface from my brain.