Crumbling Pedestals

IMG_3347Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon something that I’ve been extolling upon for a few days now, which is the need to try and focus your mind and attention upon the present moment instead of wallowing in the bag and negative or getting wrapped up in the “what if” train of thought that can create huge amounts of anxiety.

I know it’s hard, and I’ve seen it said many times now when people see others say “please stay focused on the positive” that that advice is discounting everyone’s suffering and struggling, especially that of those less fortunate.   But that is not the case, no matter how much people want to believe it.

There are dying cancer patients and homeless weathering life in a cardboard box in the middle of winter who wallow in their misery and hate everything and everyone.  There are individuals in the exact same situation that choose to keep their focus on what’s good in life and seek out a positive outlook.

This isn’t a poor person vs rich person thing, not a blind to reality thing.  Those people in those situations with a positive outlook are not blind to reality.  They know how horrible things are and how difficult their situation is.   But they make the choice to seek something positive rather than wallowing in the negative.

It’s a “healthy mentality” thing.

The Emperor - Hush TarotToday’s draw is The Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of leadership, authority, stability, and strength and how these qualities are used to influence a  community.

What really stands out to me in this card is the hands.  Specifically the fact that the hands are pierced through and pinned in place.   The structure pierced through the hands is delicate, and thus requires a “delicate touch” to keep standing for those that walk beneath the threshold.

In this image, the hands have become to move, and the structure is falling.  What I feel is that there is a message here about the precarious pedestals that we build, both for ourselves and for others to sit upon.  No one is perfect.  We can’t expect others to be perfect, and we can’t expect ourselves to be either.   It’s important to keep that in mind so that our expectations of both ourselves and others can remain realistic.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: What fear am I being invited to conquer during this fresh turn of the wheel?

Goblin Tarot RWS Edition

Reading Summary: I fear becoming too cocky  (Nine of Cups) and ending up powerless (Seven of Swords) against destitution (Five of Pentacles) and unable to find the guidance or confidence (Hierophant) to pull myself out of the pit.

Take Away:  It’s always awkward when the cards call you out on shit you’re trying to hide from yourself.  Some of the lessons I’m learning this spring include those that will allow me to get a handle on my fear of “fucking up” and irreparably screwing myself over as a result.   This fear is the reason that, even when things are good, I work so damned hard and push myself so far beyond what is reasonable.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: What have I forgotten that needs to come back into focus?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

Reading Summary:  Being “on the right track” requires help from others (Three of Coins over Judgement) and this pandemic is no reason to slack on being good to yourself (Tower over Empress). Reach out to others and re-establish good relationships that may have become stagnant (Ace of Coins).

Take Away:  These cards are about building and maintaining relationships, and how the worth of those relationships goes beyond just having a friend and into being a part of self-care and nurturing the self.

I have a hard time establishing friendships usually, and especially in maintaining them. I struggle with small talk and general chatting, finding socialization quite awkward more often than not, especially with those I get to know well or want to know better. It’s much like dating, I guess.  I excelled at meeting new people and flirting and the one night stand…. but i sucked at establishing solid, long lasting friendships and relationships.

The cards here indicate that friendships I’ve let slide to the wayside may need re-examining and re-connection.


Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Playlist

(Posting a couple of days early this week)

Have you ever listened to a song and suddenly realized “This song is such a Tower song!”?  This week’s activity is based off the love of music and how we associate music with the world around us.

Activity:  Randomly draw five cards from your deck.  For each card pick (or find) a song that you feel fits that card perfectly.


The Emperor – Boss by NCT U

The Devil – Not an Addict by K’s Choice

Three of Swords – Bitter by Remy Zero

Nine of Swords – X Amount of Words by Blue October

Knight of Cups – I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie