Month: October 2019

The “Your Universe” Spread by Reien

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To say goodbye to October, I decided to do an extra reading today for self. I used a spread made by Reine in a Discord server that I visit.

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1) Who I Am Now – Death and Skull of Flowers – There is a lot of endings and change going on, and the Death card indicates this. I’m struggling with a new level of emotions right now. A depth I’ve not experienced before. The Death card is indicating this is the new norm, and that I will adjust. The Skull of Flowers is an assurance that in the ashes of what I’ve left behind, this new level of emotion will develop into a new level of creativity and skill.

2) Forces Protecting Me – King of Wands and Herbs – There is strength in my passions and acting upon them in ways that foster their growth. The key words here are “foster their growth”… which indicates the ability to take the lead and assist these passions and interests in coming into fruition.

3) Forces Opposing Me – Justice and The Pact – I need to examine my promises, responsibilities, and the contracts (verbal and otherwise) I have entered into, and make sure that they are not just serving me in the moment, but will continue to do so into the future as well.

4) Who/What I’m Running Away From – Four of Wands and The Serpent – A situation that includes someone on a power trip using selfish motivations to get their way. This relates to one of my employers at the moment, or rather one of the new managers at this place of employment. I have been considering moving on and finding another job to replace it in order to avoid this situation. The job itself is very steady and comfortable, so I have been hesitant to move on from it.

5) Who/What I’m Running Toward – Queen of Wands and Revenge – This also refers to the situation in #4, as my other option in this situation is to discuss the situation with the owner in a collected way and appeal to his love for his business and how the new manager is a detriment to it.

6) Negative Experience of Past – Six of Cups and The Hermit – The inability to let go of shit that happened in the past is making it difficult for me to remain open and approachable. I feel that this ties into my shadow reading from yesterday, and the contact within it from my father. It brought up some negativity that made me want to close off. We managed to get through this hurdle, but that past experience is still there lingering under the surface and looking for opportunity to surface again.

7) Positive Experience of Past – The Lovers and Apple – This ties in with what I was saying about #6 and the relationship we have with each other. The choice that I made to pursue a relationship with you was a huge risk, that provided huge rewards. My past could have influenced me to pull away and, essentially walk away. Instead, I made a choice to let you in and to pursue what we have together.

8) Future Warning – Eight of Wands and Ancestors – I need to remember to take what resonates with me from the past and the lessons I’ve learned, and move forward with them, leaving the rest behind me where it belongs. There is plenty I have learned along the way that I can bring forward to enrich my life without bringing the pain and negativity with it.

9) Future Opportunity – The Empress and Skull of Light – It’s time to shine a light on my more nurturing qualities, not just directed outward, but also within myself. In doing so, I will provide myself with an encouragement strength that I cannot obtain through external sources.

Realms of Existence

Top Row – The Spirit World – There is a lot of strength to be found in connecting with my roots and learning from those that came before me. Just make sure to do so from a safe place of understanding and with nurturing energy. Don’t linger so long in thoughts of the past that the experience turns negative.

Center Row – The Mind’s World – It’s time to channel that pessimism that lives in my head into a creative endeavor. Letting it sit and stew will only allow it to fester and come out in ugly ways. Instead, direct it into my drive for creativity and it will transform into a positive.

Bottom Row – The Known World – I’m going to have to work on balance between retreat and togetherness. It’s important to keep that balance, even during times when my responsibilities are at their height and I feel incapable of untangling myself from them. ie: Don’t let the holiday rush create an imbalance in myself or our relationship that will be difficult to recover from.

Take Away

Lean into my creativity and my strengths, listen to my moral compass, and do what is right for me right now. Don’t worry so much about if it’s right for others, your moral compass will ensure no one gets hurt.

Make sure you are leaving the negatives from the past in the past for now, and using what you’ve learned along the way to deal with the present in the best ways possible. Shadow work will come later. Now is not the time to dip my toe in that pond.

 

Boundaries

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and I started a new series to work through as the regular daily meditation was a repeat from a couple months ago.   The new series is “How to Meditate” with a different narrator than my regular, so we’ll see how it goes.  I did very much like the very basic way that they broke down what meditation is, though, and so I’ll probably stick with it for a while at least, regardless of the voice not being the best.

Nine of Wands - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is a representation of resilience, defense, and good boundaries in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.   After the day I had yesterday, it’s not surprising that this card would come up.

Today’s draw is a reminder to keep my boundaries strong.  They are there for a reason and even with the awakening of new levels of emotion in my life, they need to hold firm. That new depth of emotion I’ve been feeling lately leaves me feeling a bit disoriented and as if I am fumbling in the dark.  Now more than ever it is important to ground myself in my values, as well as in those boundaries I’ve put in place for my own personal and emotional safety as well as the safety of what (and who) I hold dear.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I encourage continued growth moving forward?

Skele-TarotReading Summary:  When you’re feeling a bit lost in the dark (The Moon) remain calm, thoughtful, and decisive (Queen of Swords) rather than letting choices overwhelm you (Seven of Cups) and create conflict (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  A lot of times when I’m dealing with uncertainty, I let things get overwhelming because I feel powerless in those moments.  The cards are reminding me that to move forward and grow from these experiences, I can’t give in to those feelings of being overwhelmed, but instead strive to stay calm and collected within the storm.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot

Hope, Comfort, and Growth

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Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long, and was a healing light meditation that I used to focus on my wrist injury.  It was very relaxing, despite the fact that the guide’s voice wasn’t the best.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that both cards came out together as one. The cards in today’s draw are The Star card of the Major Arcana and the Nine of Bats (Swords).

This message has to do with vulnerability and inner struggle, and after the evening that I’ve had, I definitely understand where it’s coming from.   The message is that there are going to be times when you’re feeling vulnerable in a very not-pleasant way.  Between the shadow reading I received today and the phone call from my mother, my unpleasant vulnerability is at a high, and as the Nine of Bats indicates, it has definitely caused me some distress.

What I also see in these cards though is the shining sun on the bed and comforting concern of the cat in the Nine of Bats… and the brightly shining star combined with the growth of new green in the Star card.    To me, these factors speak of comfort and hope.

What this means is that yes… it’s been a hard day.  YES, the last few hours have sucked.   But I have right before me the gifts in my life that will help me through it and allow me to grow from the experience rather than letting it drag me down.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: What accomplishment of mine should I give myself more recognition for?

Golden Age of Horror Comics TarotReading Summary:   The work that I’ve been doing in an effort to better balance my spirituality (The High Priestess), my newly uncovered level of emotions (Page of Cups), and my responsibilities (King of Pentacles).

Take Away:   This has been a real struggle for me of late and a lot of the time I feel adrift in uncertain waters.  For a while, I was starting to think that I’d dipped my toe in too deep of a pond with the emotion digging, but what I really think is that this new level is just new and makes me feel uncertain.  Balancing that uncertainty with the familiarity of my spirituality and the rigid demand of responsibility has been difficult and… honestly?  I always feel like I’m failing when in truth?  I’m probably not.

Deck Used: The Golden Age of Horror Comics Tarot

Shadow Work (The Less-Than Whisper)

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Tarot Shadow Work by Christine Jette, (the first 1/3 of) Tarot for Troubled Times by Shaheen Miro and Theresa Reed, and Tarot For Your Self by Mary K Greer

I went to the storage unit over the last week and dug out the shadow working books and resources I have that I will be using in this journey.   I’ve begun re-reading one of those books, and am in the process of making a plan on how I want to go about the shadow work involved in this issue.

The picture of the books to the left are the three books that I dug out.  I will also be working with a variety of sources from online, and some notes I have taken over the years from previous shadow work and methods I’ve come across and/or done. One (very brief but informative) site that I discovered recently and you may also want to check out to better understand some of what shadow work entails can be found here.

On Thursday, the question for the TarotforGrowthOctober was how to better connect with the shadow self.   What I got from that reading was a warning that now is not the best time to do my shadow work, and I had to sit back and think about this for a while.

Trick or TarotIn all honesty, I think that the reading is right, and so I’m going to adjust my plan a little bit.  The holiday rush is looming large in the very near future, and in order to do shadow work safely, I feel it needs to be done at a time when I’m less at risk for overwhelm than that time of year provides.   I put a lot of strain on myself during those six (or so) weeks.  Not just mentally, but physically as well.

So between now and the end of the holidays, I am going to spend this time not in shadow work, but in brushing up on techniques and creating a more thoroughly thought out plan of action.   This will keep the task fresh in my mind without putting the extra strain on myself that very probably could exacerbate the stress that the holiday rush puts me under in the first place.

I AM still going to use a Wednesday post to keep me on track, though.  I want to make sure I don’t just shove the planning and preparation task off into a corner and forget about it.

 

Appreciation and Gratitude

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Today’s meditation was a little over ten minutes long, and focused along the thread of yesterday’s pull of the day and bonus reading.   It focused on the practice of kintsugi, which is a Japanese practice of using liquid precious metal (gold, silver, or platinum) and/or lacquer dusted with powdered precious metals to repair broken and cracked pottery.

It discussed how even when you are feeling at your most broken, it is possible to pick up the pieces from these experiences and create something beautiful with them.

Ten of Cups - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Ten of Cups card, which is a representation of completion, ascension, regeneration, and renewal in the area of creativity, emotions, relationships, and the intuition.  This theme often portrays itself as harmony and bliss in one’s relationships.

Today’s card is a reminder to acknowledge and consciously value the good times.  Be grateful for them, because like all cycles, that time of bliss and harmony doesn’t last forever and should be wallowed in and celebrated while you have it in your grasp.  I have very much enjoyed all of the extra time I’ve been able to spend with you lately.  I know that the holiday rush is about to start, and that is going to change for about six weeks or so, but I want you to know… spending this time with you is amazing and I am grateful for every single moment we have together.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I better release self-doubt?

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Reading Summary: Be active in focusing on what you really want (Four of Wands and Knight of Cups), don’t allow yourself to get bogged down by material concerns (Four of Hazards), because when you focus to hard on financial concerns it puts you in a bad place emotionally (Page of Hazards and Five of Cups).

Take Away: There are times when I get really wrapped up in my finances and how I feel things -should- be going.  I lose track of what’s really important to me as my focus narrows down to numbers, bank accounts, bills, and my drive to pay off my mortgage.  All of this focus on these areas creates a good deal of stress and self-doubt concerning my capabilities to thrive and my self worth.  If I want to release that self-doubt, I need to let up on how hyper-focused I become on that area of my life.

Deck Used: Zombie Tarot

Spooktober Quiz Reply

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So, this question is a few days old, but I liked it and think its a fun one, and so I decided I wanted to include it here as a post.

Spooktober Challenge Decor – Decorating is a must. I love Halloween decorations, so on October first, they come out and get put up. Some years are more involved than others, but you can always bet I have some decorations up on the first and often more will follow along the course of the month.

Candles – In the summer months, I have the windows open and I’m getting all the fresh air I can. Once it starts getting cold, though, I have to limit that, and I start using candles inside, usually charged with intentions (for example, I have the Bath and Body Works Leaves scented candle at my front door. I have added cedar tips to the candle and charged it with a protection spell for the entry and front door).

Incense – I change up my inscense from season to season. Usually it’s NagChampa mixed with something else. In the summer this year, I used Nag Champa and Frankincense. For Autumn I’m using Nag Champa mixed with the “Purification of Sage” incense that came in the September Witches Moon box.

Tarot – I pull out all of my Halloween themed (and spooky themed) decks and usually use some sort of monthly challenge to give me more time with my cards so that I get a chance to work with them all a bit.

Personal – I spend a LOT of time in liminal spaces during this time of year when the veil is thin. This means I do a lot of hiking (and meditating, and napping, and just overall spending time) in the deep woods and rainforests, in the space between sleep and awake, and in other places I feel the veil is at its thinnest. These places feel very welcoming and good to me, and I get energy and nurturing from them.

Family – Throughout the month, my sister and I work together to plan our Samhain ritual. This and Beltaine are the only rituals that we dependably do together every year.

Samhain – After the trick-or-treaters are gone and the partying (if either of us go to any) has come to an end, my sister and I get together to perform our Samhain ritual.

Nov 1 – We have a mum supper together to reflect on and respect our ancestors and those we have lost and spend time with their energies.

So there you have it!  All the different little celebrations I do in October to celebrate the season.  I’m sure there are a few more I’m forgetting to list, but I think I did pretty good at bringing it together for the most part.