Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was attached to the end of my yoga practice. I had read the quote pictured in this blog post prior to going into my yoga practice, and it stuck with me through the practice and into the meditation.
It had me considering some of those people I have met in life that have appeared cold to me, and how I often come off to others as cold and distant. You have told me in the past that these people just haven’t had the chance to get to know me, but the fact is? Should they need to get to know me to know that I’m not cold and distant? Should they need to get to know me in order to realize I, too, have feelings?
And yet, that impression? Is mine. That distance is created by me, whether it’s to protect myself or to protect them from the depression and vicious negativity I direct toward myself… or both.
Just the meandering path of my mind during that time… something to share.
Today’s draw is is the Nine of Oak (Nine of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of solitary accomplishment. That is to say, it represents that time at the end of a journey where you have accomplished your goal and find yourself in a place of abundance. During this time, there is a moment when you enjoy that abundance on your own before moving on to sharing it with others. The Nine of Pentacles is that moment of enjoyment and wealth that comes prior to the “sharing the wealth”.
What I actually see today in the imagery of this card, though, isn’t that moment… but the moment that comes just before it. In the imagery of this card I see the moment when you are counting your resources and tucking things away, storing up and preparing. The squirrel and the squirrel child here are not wallowing in their wealth and reflecting on how well they’ve done. They are not in a moment of contentment and satiation. But they are headed in that direction.
The message here is one of encouragement. A reminder that I am doing well and the preparations I have made over time to create a sense of stability and security are going to pay off when I need them to.
DECK USED: STOLEN CHILD TAROT
#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to remind myself of the hand my spirit guides play in my life? (built off yesterday’s cards)
Reading Summary: Listen to and trust your intuition (The Priestess) instead of allowing the brain to overcome (Five of Swords) and steal away (Seven of Swords) the surety and comfort (King of Cups) that being in touch with that inner voice creates.
Take Away: Like most people, my brain loves.. loves to cast doubt. And in finding that connection to my spirit guides that I’ve been seeking? That is the biggest hurdle to traverse. As connected as I am to my intuition, it’s still extremely hard to keep my brain from stepping in to cast doubts on what doesn’t feel quite fully manifested as yet.
DECK USED: ISIDORE TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my superpower?
Reading Summary: Having a clear head (Queen of Swords) and an open mind (Page of Swords) while taking control (The Emperor) of any situation that requires flexibility and adaptation (Wheel of Fortune).
Take Away: Perhaps this skill is because I have spent so much of my life suppressing my emotions, but when situations require a clear head, this is not something I usually struggle with. The emotions turn off, and my brain kicks it up a notch.
This is actually something I’ve been a bit worried about, when considering the new level of emotions and openness to my emotions that I’ve been slowly exploring and developing over time. There is always that bit of worry that that objective, clearheaded intellect will become clouded by emotion and damage my ability to step back and see multiple perspectives without the pollution of bias getting in the way.
DECK USED: MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I become more self loving?
Reading Summary: Work on taking more chances (Left Card) and entertain less self recrimination (Middle Card) and self doubt (Right Card).
The imagery in the left card gives me the impression of swinging from a branch over a cliff, and it reminds me of those swings kids use to swing out over swimming holes and jump. Sometimes? Taking chances leads to adventure and joyous moments that you can’t find any other way.
In the middle card, the posture of the figures in the center speaks to me of shame and a feeling of defense from attack. This impression is strengthened by the darkness of the shadows of their robes.
The moon in the right card frowns down upon the figures along the path. While some bound forward toward that judging visage, others hold back, unsure and fearful. The red and orange colors in this card also blend into that of the center card, indicating a connection… a similarity of emotion between the two.
Take Away: If I want to be more self loving, I need to let go of my self recriminations, my hesitations, and my self doubt. Instead of allowing these moments to fill my life, I need to leap at the chance to grab hold of the opportunities for joy and revel in the fun that comes with new adventures.