Auto Pilot Wake-Up Call

Today’s meditation was skipped

Vicente Molina's Poker-TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Clubs.  This deck is a hybrid between playing cards and tarot, and has some very unique aspects.  Normally, the Nine of Wands is a representation of boundaries and protecting what is important to you through boundaries and stalwart determination.

The Latin phrase “Knowledge and Hard Work” (Scientia Ac Labore) here shifts the meaning for me a little bit, as does the cup.  What I see here is more about putting in effort to gather what one strives for rather than protection.

Therefore, the message I see in today’s card is about work… about value.  It’s about what you choose to spend your time learning about and earning in life, and how much… is enough?  Are you working to be comfortable?  Or are you working to have your cup overflowing?  Is there a smarter way to go about the goals you’ve set for yourself?  It might be time to evaluate what you’ve been pouring so much time and effort into and decide if it’s really what you want to fill your cup with, or if you’re just acting out of obligation and the shadow of expectation.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2022 Challenge Prompt
: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about… and give it a go!

Vicente Molina's Poker-Tarot

What part of me needs replenishment?

Eight of Clubs – Your energy and motivation.  It’s been flagging just a bit and needs a boost.

What is standing in my way?

Ace of Clubs Rx – Your new passion is being discouraged. The furniture you need to buy is out of stock, and every time it has come in stock it goes out again before you have a chance to buy it. There’s plenty of other things that need done, but you are feeling discouraged.

Ways I can fill my cup.

Five of Diamonds Rx – Don’t look at these setbacks as “end of the road” problems. They aren’t.

Three of Clubs – Work on moving forward in other areas. There’s plenty of other things that need to be done in the interim.  No need to let it all pile up.  Chip away at those other things a little at a time.

Queen of Hearts Rx – Remember to be kind to yourself. This is a two-season project, not a short distance sprint. Beating yourself up is counterproductive.


Daily Self Kindness

Well, I’m saying that the involuntary nap counts, even if it wasn’t actually a choice.

📆 Transitioning from January to February

Darkness of Light Tarot and Yoru no Sumi-E Dark Edition

Here and Now I Exist – Who you are now, in your entirety.

Two of Coins and Shadow – You have been making small efforts to do shadow work, but at a careful pace that balances with the rest of your life and responsibilities. It’s not meant to be intense at this time. Don’t forget that baby steps are needed right now.

The Slough – What is to be left in the past as you move forward.

Three of Cups and Growth Rx – Careless abandon has been stunting your growth. This is especially relevant to “going too fast”. You spend so much of your time over the last couple of months of the year fighting to go fast, and faster.  Fast as you can.  It’s time to leave that mentality behind now.

What Lies Ahead – An ideal state or ideal self you are seeking at this time.

Ace of Cups and Change – You don’t want to go through the same old thing again this year with the return of another depressive episode. Instead you want to change this cycle and replace it with something healthier and new. This change, like most things that are new and different, will take a bit of effort.

Limitations – Negative influences, opposition, or ill will.

Knight of Cups – There has been a distinct lack of empathy for yourself as you push yourself too hard to advance in your emotional growth. Last year this was especially true and you need to ensure that you don’t repeat this negative behavior again this year.

The Boon – Positive influences, higher guidance, or divine intervention.

Seven of Coins and Loss – Just because you are taking things slow doesn’t mean that you’re going to lose out on anything. Remember that some things take time to grow, and make sure that you are looking at this process in a more positive light.

The Wound – An unpleasant past experience or event that is ripe for some support and healing.

Two of Cups and Strength – You need to talk with Gideon and ensure that he is feeling stable and strong in your relationship. Your recent discussion of past issues may have stirred up some insecurities.

Nostalgia – A positive past experience or event to acknowledge, reflect upon, and enjoy.

Page of Wands and Tranquility – Not all learning needs to be a fight or struggle. Take time to remember how good it feels to slip into “the flow” when experimenting with something creative and new.

A Warning – Something coming that can be prevented or overcome.

Queen of Cups and Bind – Watch out for feelings of stagnancy. This is something you struggled with a lot last year through the spring and summer… and even a bit in the fall. You have the opportunity to avoid going through it again this year. (This is something to explore further, perhaps with a more in depth reading in this area later on.)

Empowerment – A future opportunity to work toward.

Death and Now – Although change takes time, this doesn’t mean you sit on your ass and wait for it. Be proactive in going after the changes you want to happen. The sooner you start, the more room you have to figure out hurdles and roadblocks that might pop up along the way.

Message from the Spirit World – There are changes to be made that reach far beyond the physical realm. (Amalthea is waiting, but she is also patient.) Don’t get discouraged and feel as if you are stuck when things need to move at a slower pace than you anticipate. Just do what you can in the now and the rest will come in its own time.

Message from the Mind’s World – Revelry has its place, but too much stunts your growth.  Focus on finding balance in your life and in your inner narrative. You don’t have to be rainbows and butterflies all the time, but you do need to give as much optimism and positivity to build up your mental health as your inner narrative is giving to try and pick it apart.

Message from the Physical World – You’re avoiding getting out in nature and finding that connection you need because of stalker issues.  Contact J and convince him to start going out with you into the trees again.  It might take some convincing, but you know that he’ll come along if for no other reason that he might get the chance to kick someone’s ass… which incidentally is his happy place in much the same way that the forest is yours.


The Ebb and Flow

Today’s meditation was skipped.

Black Violet TarotToday’s draw is the Wheel of Fortune, which is traditionally a representation of the ups and downs in life, the good and bad luck that comes and goes, and the lack of predictability that life has for us.

Like the ebb and flow of the cycles of the moon, and the tides that these cycles control, luck comes and goes.  We have a little luck some days, like a gentle high tide, and a lot of luck others like the king tide.  Some days we have a little bad luck, like a low tide… and other days we have a lot of bad luck like a spring tide.

Today’s card is a reminder that everything comes in cycles.  There is an ebb and flow to life, a give and take… and that includes our luck.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2022 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #4

Black Violet TarotHow do you most commonly misinterpret reading the cards for yourself?

Nine of Pentacles – Too often you jump to what more you can do, or what needs fixed or changed, instead of reading from a place of contentment in the moment.

How do you most commonly misinterpret reading the cards for others?

Three of Cups Rx – Seeing the querent as an individual instead of as a community that includes not just them, but also friends and family.

How can you improve at reading the cards so that it doesn’t keep happening?

Wheel of Fortune atop Queen of Swords Rx– Step yet further outside of yourself during readings in order to connect with others energies on a deeper level and more deeply understand a wider array of interpersonal connections and dynamics.


Daily Self Kindness

I asked for what I needed… what I craved.  And Gideon gave me… just that.

❤️ Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Abstract Art Tarot, Yoru No Sumi-E, Shadowlands Lenormand

EarthAce of Buckets and Trust – Stay positive and trust everything is going to be okay.

AirWorld atop Five of Brushes, Hope – Be gentle with your negative internal narrative and inner critic. The way forward isn’t with viciousness and cruelty, but by tapping into positivity and optimism.

WaterTemperance atop Chariot, Void – Do not pretend that the pit isn’t there. It is. At this time, ignoring where you’re going and what’s ahead of you instead of dealing with it is going to end in falling into the void.

FireThree of Brushes atop Eight of Buckets Rx, Death – Don’t discount what others can do for you right now as you go through these changes outlined in this reading. They’re able to add brightness and color to days that are looking increasingly drab of late.

WaningMice and Snake – Don’t ignore the corrosion or it’s going to bite you in the ass.

WaxingSun and Mountain – Use proactive methods and optimism to battle this hurdle before you.

Take Away – Okay. As the week has gone on I have gotten more and more warnings from the cards about depression slipping up on me, and that I’ve been ignoring its approach. This reading is the most blatant warning of them all so far.

I’ve decided that I’m going to up my meds like I did before, starting tomorrow. Two weeks wasn’t enough time last time, so this time I’m going to do it for a month and hope that it can help me bypass, or at least mitigate, the depressive episode that I can feel coming but didn’t want to acknowledge.