Ask For Help

Today’s meditation was just under twenty minutes long, and was not guided. It was a part of my morning yoga that I do daily to keep my “repaired parts” operating smoothly as a part of my physiotherapy.

It was very relaxing, but I think I’m going to have to go back to doing the guided meditation once I’m back home. I just feel like I’m not getting as much out of the self directed ones, although, they are a nice change now and then.

Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally read as a conflict or clash of passions and ambitions.

Although I definitely see this portrayed in this card, my intuitive hit was much stronger off the image itself than from the traditional meaning. Ive noticed that this has happened a lot with both the Tarot of the Little Prince and the Ostara Tarot while on this trip.

What I see in today’s card is about getting through tough times with the help of others, rather than on your own. Sometimes burdens and conflict are handled better together than on your own. This is a lesson that I struggle with quite a bit as I always feel like I need to do everything myself.

Today’s card is telling me to remember to ask for help when I get home and begin processing orders for the time I have been away.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What positive thought pattern should I embrace moving forward?

Ostara TarotReading Summary: remember you do not live in a place of scarcity anymore (Ten of Coins), achieving your goals means acknowledging you can’t do everything at once (Two of Wands atop the King of Wands) so stop ignoring (Four of Cups) the natural changes (Death) that progress has wrought (King of Wands and Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The cards are telling me that I’m living in the past and ignoring that I have reached a point in my business where I need to accept help. In the future, it would be a positive change to ask for help when I need it, which the cards indicate will assist in easing my scarcity issues.


The Magic of Synergy

Today’s meditation was about 20 minutes long, and the mist peaceful I’ve had so far since coming to visit mom’s house. That is because everyone went out to shop for a new recliner and I was left at home alone.

The meditation itself was not guided, but instead a full body scan with a bit of stretching mixed in.

The Lovers - Ostara Tarot Today’s draw is the Lovers card, and the reading off of today’s card is intuitive rather than through traditional meanings.

What I see in today’s card is synergy. In my experience, when you dance ballroom style (as in the photo) while blindfolded, there is a connection necessary that goes beyond familiarity and the physical. It becomes a give and take of energy, an ebb and flow of two becoming one. There is no lead and follow, no you and them. It is a synergy, a melding, a swirling together into one entity guided by music.

When it’s right, and you both feel it, it is perfect. In my relationship with you, there are times when I have felt this as well. It is magic… a very special type of magic.

Today’s card is simply a reminder of those times, and how amazing and precious they are.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What negative thought pattern should I leave behind?

Tarot of the Little Prince

Reading Summary: Keeping everything to myself (Nine of Pentacles) because if the worry that sharing my emotional enthusiasm (Ace of Cups) will lead to unpleasant consequences (knight of Swords), and so choose to show a facade that I’m fully in control (King of Pentacles) using distractions to keep other’s attention elsewhere (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  This is all about my perception of vulnerability associated with emotion. It is also about the Less-Than whisper. Sharing my emotions with others is a struggle for me, as I see my emotions as a vulnerability that, when shared, opens me up to manipulation and pain.

This is not to say that I am not genuine or true to myself, but it means that I muffle and tone down the emotional side of myself so that most only ever see the ripples on the surface and not the strong currents beneath, or I use distractions to direct people’s attention elsewhere so that they miss seeing much of anything at all.

(Side Note: This is a part of why I found you so intimidating when I first met you. You would not be distracted. Instead you looked beyond the ripples and into the depths, and refused to look away.)


The Right Path

This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about finding your path.

Topic for the Week of 11/25: What let’s you know you have chosen the right path?

Is it strange that I’m having trouble formulating a reply to this question when I am so certain of my (somewhat unconventional even in the pagan community) path?

The thing is… it’s my heart and my gut that tell me I’m on the right path. I feel it deep inside where the soul lives.

I think that to get to that point, though, you have to get to a point of acceptance of the knowledge that everyone’s path is going to be different. Spirituality isn’t a “cookie cutter” experience, but rather highly individualistic. There is no right or wrong other than what is right for you (and of course, you know, legalities).

Once you can accept that each and every person is a unique snowflake and their spirituality is going to echo that individuality, then as you start exploring different practices, beliefs, faiths, and dogmas… you will find that some just feel right… and others don’t.

Take what resonates with you instead of trying to fit into a mold someone else had decided should be yours, and you will find it easier and easier to identify those things that work for you.

Turn Around… It’s About Perspective

Today’s meditation has not happened yet, because I had to get up early to help with things in the kitchen. I will be doing the meditation before sleep today, and will probably fall asleep during, as I’m very tired.

Today’s draw is the Eight of Swords, and thus reading is an intuitive hit that’s is 100% off of the card imagery.

The message in today’s card is that sometimes when things are looking their worst, you just need to open your eyes and look behind you. It’s not often that solutions to life’s problems just fall into your lap, sometimes a little creative thinking outside the box is in order for things to fall into place.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What what truth would like to reveal itself to me?

Ostara Tarot Reading Summary: When you pounce on new ambitions and passions, it can cause struggle and conflict (Five of Wands atop Ace of Wands), true success takes a combination of hard work, time, and patience (Temperance atop Seven of Coins). With those qualities present you can fly (The Star).

Take Away:  I have this habit of “pounce and plunder” whenever amazing new project ideas spring up, and that can cause a lot of chaos as I try to fit them in with current responsibilities. The cards are reminding me that “slow and steady wins the race”. If I want to achieve my goals, I need to practice some patience.


Internal Struggles

Today’s meditation was done on the hardwood floor with my feet up on the bed. I needed the extra support because my back was killing me and the hard surface helped with stabilization and stretching it out. The meditation was not guided and lasted about fifteen minutes of quiet breathing.

Two of Pentacles - Ostara TarotToday’s draw is the Two of Pentacles. This is a card that I usually see quite a bit of chaos concerning. Not in the “Tower” sense of chaos, but just in that it takes a good deal of work to create balance and sometimes that work can feel chaotic.

In this card? It feels even more so. It is the smoke from the bottles, but mor than that, it is the lack of constraint created by the infinity loop that usually accompanies the balancing of the two aspects. There is also the element that the man is floating, which increases that sense of lack of control.

And yet? The birds on the ground are calm and perceive no threat.

Today’s card is a reminder that although creating balance can sometimes feel like a process that is chaotic and anchor less, this is just a trick of the mind. An internal struggle. And if you take a moment to step outside yourself in these moments, you will find that everything is fine, and that the storm is only on the inside.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I be more trusting of my inner voice?

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary: Take some time to look around instead of holding so tightly to the reigns (The Chariot), sometimes you have to look back at the things you’ve done in life and forgive yourself for your faults (Judgement) snd instead focus on all the good you’ve done instead (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  The cards are indicating that I am too hard on myself, and too harsh and stringent with myself. They are saying that if I want an even better connection to that inner voice, I need to let up and treat my inner self better.


Shadow Work (The Less-Than Whisper)

I hit a bit of a wall on research concerning the shadow work and steps for moving forward.

After some thought I decided to reach out to someone with a bit more experience, who suggested that the reason I’m having trouble assimilating this shadow is that it is not entirely seated In the shadow self at all.

They suggested that perhaps It may be tied to something that is a part of my core and needs further development. Meaning that the whisper has a source that isn’t wholly external to my ‘light side’, and there is something where it is rooted that needs growth or development within me. And once the ‘soul’ has grown, developed, and transformed, then the shadow/whisper can be reassessed if needed.

This has a ring of truth to it. There are parts of myself that, because of the way I walled myself off emotionally and grew up so fast, never developed properly or fully.

They suggested doing a chakra reading to look for blocks, which I have, and I will post next week when I am at a computer and have had a bit of time to analyze the results and dig deeper into it.

Love and Support

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was not a guided meditation, but rather a quiet body scan done to music. It was very relaxing, and yet helped me in waking up, which I had a bit of trouble with this morning.

Three of Swords - Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is commonly known as the “heartbreak card” and often represents feelings surrounding that theme.

What really stands out to me in this card though is that the Rose is not severed or on the ground. Instead, although they may be sharp and dangerous, they also appear to help support the rose in this imagery.

Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes we get hurt. But today’s card is a reminder that in these times there will always be support if and when we need it. It may not come from an obvious source, but it’s there if we’re open to taking the support offered and/or available to us.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the little Prince

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What is my relationship with independence?

Ostara TarotReading Summary: I feel like I’m the big man on campus (Ace of Swords), but in truth it’s smoke and mirrors (The Magician) because I need love and nurturing just like everyone else (The Empress). This vulnerability creates the urge to retreat (The Hermit).

Take Away:  My independence is one of those things that was hard won at an early age, and that I held onto with a death grip once I obtained it. The fact is, though, that as much as I want to portray a solid independent presentation to the world, I am not as independent as I once was. I depend on those I love and that love me, something that was not an aspect of my life back then, but is now.

The thing is though, that I see this dependence as a vulnerability, and as is always the case with vulnerability, it makes me want to close ranks and retreat.

This is an understanding of my relationship with independence. Obviously, I see and know the value of these relationships where dependence and vulnerability exist. If I didn’t, they wouldn’t be a part of my life.

Deck Used:  Ostara Tarot

(Side Note: I had originally had this deck slated for use in the spring, but its imagery has appeared again and again over the past few weeks, and every time it has appeared, I have felt a strong draw to it. So I decided to bring it with me to mom’s sling with the Little Prince deck I had originally planned on bringing.)

Strategy and Boundaries

Today’s meditation hasn’t taken place yet.  I plan on meditating during the drive later when it’s my sister’s time to drive.   Hopefully that will go well.  If it doesn’t, I’ll do it before bed once we get to mom’s.

Slow Tarot Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both of the cards came out together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Seven of Swords and the Knight of Swords.

What stands out to me in the Seven of Swords is the white cat looking on from the corner with an incredulous “really?” look to its expression.   This aspect of the card combined with it’s imagery as a whole speaks to me of strategy and a need to do better on the planning aspect of things.

Combined with the Knight of Swords, what I see in these cards is a reminder to use my time at my mother’s house wisely this week.  This is an extremely busy time of year and taking a few days off requires a lot of planning, but once I am IN those days off?  I need to use them wisely so that I can come back refreshed and charge ahead into the holiday rush with a clear head and all guns blazing.

Deck Used: Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: Where would I benefit from setting clear boundaries?

Gravity Tattoo Tarot Reading Summary: Choosing who to share with and who not to (The Lovers) is extremely important when I am feeling a spark of emotion (Ace of Cups) tied into my new inspirations (Ace of Wands) and ambitious plans (Two of Wands).

Take Away:  I have mentioned that constant babble of my inspiration and ambition that always has tons of ideas tumbling around in my head.  What I haven’t mentioned is that there is an emotional element to these new inspirations.  I get attached to them, inspired by them, and this inspiration creates an emotional spark of enthusiasm and joy.  That spark sometimes makes me want to share these ideas with others.

But, sharing with the wrong people can put those emotions at risk, crushing the spark or causing other issues if those that I share with run off with the idea to do it themselves, or share it with someone else without realizing they might be giving my ideas to someone that will take them and use them as their own.   Enter the need for boundaries and good choices.

Deck Used: Gravity Tattoo Tarot


Making Better Choices

Today’s meditation was combined into my yoga practice, which involved deep breathing and a good deal of work on my right shoulder, elbow, and wrist.  I’ve been having a bit of a problem with it over the past few days and the focus from the meditation is very helpful in working through the pain involved in maintaining my mobility in painful joints through my yoga practice.

Lovers - Tarot of the Unknown Today’s card is the Lovers card, which contrary to novice perceptions has very little to do with romance and a whole lot to do with choices the choices we make and have made (in my experience). More specifically, because this is a Major Arcana card, to deal with life-path choices.

The message in today’s card is that there is never “a rut”.  People often speak of being “stuck in a rut” but, in truth, this isn’t a rut at all.  It is a moment of indecision.  There are always choices to be made in life, but when we refuse to make them it can lead to a time of imbalance and stagnation.  Sometimes, that’s okay, because we need the break.  But eventually, you’re always going to have to step back into the game and make a choice.

The Lovers card in this draw is a reminder that those choices aren’t going to go away if you ignore them, and that it’s okay to trod the path less traveled on occasion, if it’s the right path for you.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I better recognize when I’m being overly impulsive?

Tarot of Pagan CatsReading Summary:  Focus on what you have and what’s good in your life (Four of Wands and Ten of Pentacles).  When you do this there will be less need to delve for more (Knave of Swords) while pretending you are still in control (The Chariot) and in charge (The Emperor).

Take Away: When I get to a point where I’m starting to overwhelm myself through my impulsivity, I have a tendency to hold on harder to the reins of my life in other areas and tell myself that I’m in full control and in charge even when, in those moments, I’m not.   A better way to deal with this is to approach these times when I’m feeling impulsive with a reminder of all the good that is already a part of my life and all that I have to be grateful for.

There is also advice to be found here in these cards concerning reaching out to friends and family for their help in identifying when my impulsive behavior is “going too far”, rather than closing off and keeping things to myself.

Deck Used:  Tarot of Pagan Cats


Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?


EarthEight of Fire (Ginger), Childhood, Phenomenon – There is a lot going on right now and things are moving fast. Take time to incorporate enjoyment into all of that fiery energy. You can stay on track and still have fun. Be sure to leave a little space for the unexpected instead of allowing trepidation to hold you back, as not everything that approaches from a direction of clouded vision and uncertainty is a bad thing.

AirAwakening (Judgement) and Release – Now is a good time to look at your life and your purpose and take the time to think about what you want from life and what direction you want your path to take. Evaluate what is important to you and let go of those things that are not serving your these values and goals.

WaterEight of Air (Licorice), Four of Fire (Elder), Wisdom – Speaking your truth and communicating your feelings and needs will allow others to assist you in getting what you need. When you keep these things in, those feelings and needs become unruly and difficult to deal with, better to communicate them with those that can provide help, support, and even guidance.

FireEight of Water (Valerian), Memory, Erosion – So much of this time of year for me is about chaos and bustle. This week away needs to be the opposite of that. Live in the now for the time away from home. Take time to relax and recuperate. Make sure to keep past history and all that entails resting in the past where it belongs, as bringing the past into the present at this time will be counterproductive.

WaningUnderworld – That time of connection to the dead, and especially the rising of my father within the energy that surrounded the end of October, is finally beginning to let go and settle back to the muddy bottom of the bog.

WaxingShark – Forward movement is the emerging energy of the week ahead. Keep your eyes forward and off of the past. Don’t worry about the judgements of others that may be cast upon you. Let them roll off your back like the flow of water over a shark’s skin. Take care to remain impartial.

Moral of the Story – By taking the time I need to rest and regroup, and keeping my eyes forward on the path ahead, I will benefit from the week away and come back stronger with laser focus and purpose.

Decks Used: The Herbcrafter’s Tarot, The Illuminated Earth Oracle, and Animal Magic Oracle Cards