Day: November 6, 2019

Feed the Seed

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes, and the next segment of the ‘how to’ series that I’ve been working through.  The focus of today’s guided meditation went back to finding your focus during meditation, and encouraging looking outside of the breath to try out different things to focus on to see if there is anything you personally connect to more strongly than the breath.

For me, this focus is the solar plexus.   The solar plexus is where a lot of my emotions and intuition spark from.  And, there is a reason that we call it the seat of the soul.  It is within that spot I can feel a constant inner kaleidoscope of sensation and sentiments living and breathing within me.

Ace of Pentacles - Tarot of the Unknown Today’s draw is the Ace of Pentacles.  The aces in the tarot a representation of new life that resides within the smallest of seeds, and potential for that life to spark and grow and break free of the seed’s shell and flourish.  In the Ace of Pentacles, this expresses itself most commonly as new beginnings and new opportunities in the area of manifestations, the physical world, and in finance and resources.

I will be having a bit of an influx of new money coming in over the next few weeks and I need to make some choices on what to do with it and where I want to direct it.  Responsible choices.   This card is a reminder that there is an abundance of opportunity out there, but if I want to encourage that new green to grow into something good, I need to both foster its source as well as respect where it comes from.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I reduce negative self-talk?

Tarot of the Cat People Reading Summary:  Take control of your mental chatter (King of Swords) by paying closer attention to what I do well (Knight of Pentacles) and appreciating what I have (Ten of Cups) rather than cutting myself and my acumen down every chance I get (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  The cards are reminding me that I need to focus more upon the good in my life and upon what I do well, and listen less to the slave driving asshole that lives in my head constantly demands for me to do more and do better.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Cat People

Shadow Work (The Less-Than Whisper)

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leaves

I have not done much in the realm of reading for shadow work this week, but I have been researching from writing prompts and tarot spreads that I will be able to use along that path once the holidays are over.

I have also decided to continue with the Tarot for Growth for another month, as although I sometimes find the prompts a little deep and skimming a little close to sensitive subjects, I am also enjoying it and I haven’t had anything from it actually trigger me, so I think it’ll be okay.

I may switch things up in December, though, and do a monthly challenge that’s a little more lighthearted.  We’ll see.

I am grateful, though, that the rawness that had caused that whisper to rise has eased off for the time being.  It was more than just the vulnerability of the drop, but incorporated the whispers of my father coming through when the veil was thin, as well as what has been going on with my mother over the past few weeks.

Now that her opportunity to “pimp me out” to her foundation buddy’s son for the Halloween fundraiser, all I have to deal with is her badgering about being disappointed in me, which is much easier to deal with somehow than the fact that she views my sexuality (and me at all) as a bargaining chip for social prestige.