Internal Struggles

Today’s meditation was done on the hardwood floor with my feet up on the bed. I needed the extra support because my back was killing me and the hard surface helped with stabilization and stretching it out. The meditation was not guided and lasted about fifteen minutes of quiet breathing.

Two of Pentacles - Ostara TarotToday’s draw is the Two of Pentacles. This is a card that I usually see quite a bit of chaos concerning. Not in the “Tower” sense of chaos, but just in that it takes a good deal of work to create balance and sometimes that work can feel chaotic.

In this card? It feels even more so. It is the smoke from the bottles, but mor than that, it is the lack of constraint created by the infinity loop that usually accompanies the balancing of the two aspects. There is also the element that the man is floating, which increases that sense of lack of control.

And yet? The birds on the ground are calm and perceive no threat.

Today’s card is a reminder that although creating balance can sometimes feel like a process that is chaotic and anchor less, this is just a trick of the mind. An internal struggle. And if you take a moment to step outside yourself in these moments, you will find that everything is fine, and that the storm is only on the inside.

DECK USED:  OSTARA TAROT

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I be more trusting of my inner voice?

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary: Take some time to look around instead of holding so tightly to the reigns (The Chariot), sometimes you have to look back at the things you’ve done in life and forgive yourself for your faults (Judgement) snd instead focus on all the good you’ve done instead (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  The cards are indicating that I am too hard on myself, and too harsh and stringent with myself. They are saying that if I want an even better connection to that inner voice, I need to let up and treat my inner self better.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Shadow Work (The Less-Than Whisper)

I hit a bit of a wall on research concerning the shadow work and steps for moving forward.

After some thought I decided to reach out to someone with a bit more experience, who suggested that the reason I’m having trouble assimilating this shadow is that it is not entirely seated In the shadow self at all.

They suggested that perhaps It may be tied to something that is a part of my core and needs further development. Meaning that the whisper has a source that isn’t wholly external to my ‘light side’, and there is something where it is rooted that needs growth or development within me. And once the ‘soul’ has grown, developed, and transformed, then the shadow/whisper can be reassessed if needed.

This has a ring of truth to it. There are parts of myself that, because of the way I walled myself off emotionally and grew up so fast, never developed properly or fully.

They suggested doing a chakra reading to look for blocks, which I have, and I will post next week when I am at a computer and have had a bit of time to analyze the results and dig deeper into it.