Finding What Fits

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Today’s meditation was a ten minute long #DailyCalm session with the @Calm app.

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The @GlitterbyInk #MayMoon26 Rise Root Return Challenge
As Within Prompt for May 17th : Essence
Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.

Smithtiny Tarot - Nine of Wands

Today’s draw is the Wheel of Fortune card, which is traditionally a representation of luck (both good and bad), changing circumstances, the ups and downs of life, and the cyclical nature of life and the world.

Look how very unhappy the figure looks in this card’s imagery. Not only is he tired and battle worn, but he’s not looking particularly happy in his position as protector, either.

That’s what happens when we put ourselves in rolls that don’t fit who we are or what we want. We hang on and we protect, but we can’t really advance because we’re too tired doing the thing that we put ourselves in line to do that doesn’t match with who we are.

This is how we end up stuck in patterns that don’t align with our authentic selves. We integrate ourselves into these patterns, building them up until they are an essential part of our lives, even though they’re not an essential part of us. Then, we are so taken up with and preoccupied by this effort that we it feels impossible to escape to find something that fits us better.

The message in today’s Nine of Wands and the “essence” prompt is a reminder that when we are introducing new pursuits, endeavors, and cycles into our lives that it’s important to ensure they are something that we really connect with, and that connects with the essence of us as well. Otherwise, no matter how hard we work at it, we’re never really going to be satisfied with what we have.

DECK USED:  SMITHTINY TAROT

One Card Tarot Journal Activity by @mariasofia_astro
Chapter 5 | Entry 12 – Health and Body
Affirmation : “I release habits that hinder my growth.”
Prompt : Do you currently have any habits that may have been a helpful coping mechanism at one time, but now impact your health negatively? Ask the tarot to help show you what habit is holding you back-and the underlying feeling that may be triggering it.

Tarot Activity from The One Card a Day Journal by Maria Sofia Marmanides - Tezuka Osamu Character Tarot Set - Wheel of Fortune

What feelings came up when I pulled this card?

“Well, it’s not the Devil.” (Said in a count-your-blessings kind of way.)

The thing is, I’m well aware of what my coping mechanisms are, especially the unhealthy ones. So this thought (above) was more a relief at not having to address the elephant in the room than it was about anything related to the message in this specific card.

What elements of the card’s meaning resonate with me and this prompt?

One of my most pervasive coping mechanisms is pessimism. It’s been something I’ve used throughout the entirety of my life to protect myself from the harsher affects of disappointment. After all, preparation makes everything easier to handle, especially the bad stuff.

When you always expect the worst, the good stuff that happens comes as a happy surprise, and the bad stuff is something you already knew was coming.

Unfortunately, this pessimism instilled in every nuance of one’s life has a tendency to do more than just prepare you for the worst, but actually harm your outlook on life as a whole.

What in the artwork spoke to me?

The guy on top of the wheel sits on his own platform. He’s steady in his footing because he doesn’t have to run the wheel that turns and turns and turns in cycles beneath him. And yet, he is the least happy character of the three depicted on the card. His stagnancy makes him judgmental as he sits out on the ups and downs of experience that make life interesting for the other two.

My prompt response and reflections.

This pessimism is a something that I used to think was just a part of who I am, but I have learned over time to recognize it as a defense mechanism rather than an actual personality trait. It’s been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, but I am slowly working on easing up in this area.

Over the past few years in using the Card of the Day exercise that I post each day, I have begun to connect with optimism and positivity in healthy ways and recognize their value. Now, instead of blindly accepting the pessimism that whispers in my head, I often find myself debating with it or otherwise counterbalancing it with a bit of hope and positive self talk.

There’s still a long way to go, though, as this card’s appearance in today’s prompt points out.

Other elements included in this reading:
Sodalite D20 and D6 Gemstone Dice

DECK USED: 90TH ANNIVERSARY OF BIRTH TEZUKA OSAMU CHARACTER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2026 Challenge
Prompt for May 17th : Do Spread 3
Summer is right around the corner! While this season is often well known for being a time to enjoy the good weather and fill your life with fun times and memorable moments, sometimes even summer has its stresses, struggles, and anxieties. Use this spread to take a look at those issues and how to surmount them.

Tarot Reading with the Smithtiny Tarot

What is the core stressor in my life at this time that is under my control to change?

Ace of Cups – Your emotions. You have a tendency to take on learning about your emotions as if it is homework or a battle to engage in. In truth, you don’t need to really engage at all other than not close yourself off, though. There’s no need to identify every little thing, as long as you’re letting them breathe in the open air instead of burying them.

What has allowed this stress in my life to take root and grow?

King of Wands – You have a tendency to go after the things you want full boar with single-minded attention and focus. This makes you feel like you always need to do more in order to succeed.

When it comes to learning and understanding your emotions, though, it’s not so much about active participation as it is about observation and sitting with how you feel.

What can I do right now to help ease my stress and anxiety related to this issue?

The Hierophant – Lean into the tried and true methods others have shared with you. This isn’t an area you know much about, but they do. Trust them to guide you well.

Other elements included in this reading:
Black Wood Kitsune Carving for Cleverness and Ingenuity
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED:  SMITHTINY TAROT
Daily Self Kindness

I started the first steps in getting organized concerning the intention to do a bit of weeding on my deck collection.

Gideon’s Challenge – Ragged

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Ragged

Rough edges
should wear down
over time
like pebbles
in a stream
become smooth
and round
as water flows
over them
for decades
and centuries
and yet
sometimes
those rough edges
only get sharper
with time

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

❤️ Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Self Care Saturday Tarot Reading with the Wind Rose Tarot and Forest Bathing Cards

Earth – Three of Wands – Do the stuff. You’ve plotted and planned and everything’s in order in your head now; you just need to do the stuff. Get your goddamn taxes done!

Air – King of Pentacles – Also taxes related… Keep your mind in the game and make sure everybody is on the same track as you as you in getting everything put together for the accountant. Demand their participation. Communicate your needs. This is about them too, and you don’t have to do it yourself, so make sure that they are on board and doing their part.

Water – The Empress – Don’t neglect your emotional health this week. Make time for the things that help you feel better than you did before you started them.

Fire – Ace of Swords – Communication is the end-all-be-all for the week. As noted in the Air position above, you need to make sure that you are expressing what you need and how you need it, so that others can help in fulfilling those requests and demands. Don’t allow them to tune you out or shut you down.

Waning – “Have you ever pondered the flavor of forest air? Be adventurous! Open your mouth wide and take big bites of air. I wonder what you will taste.“

“Meticulous and Calculated” is the name of the game this week. A carefree devil-may-care attitude will not get you where you want to go. Don’t be greedy, and don’t be careless.

Waxing – “I invite you to lift your eyes towards the sky and imagine yourself freely soaring like a bird taking in the grand perspective from above. I wonder what you notice…“

Train your attentions on what you want to accomplish and allow your focus to remain there. Make sure that you are paying attention to what is going on around you and how things are coming together (as well as where they’re not) to find cracks and fissures in the plan.

Take Away – This week needs to be about getting your taxes done and turned in before the end of May rolls around. You can get this done in a few days if you really put your mind to it and involve others in the process. You don’t have to do it all yourself, so don’t take it all on your own shoulders. Use the freedom that comes with delegating tasks to others to take a closer look at what’s going on and what needs to change in this area moving forward.

DECKS USED: WIND ROSE TAROT AND FOREST BATHING CARDS

Perspective Makes a Difference

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Today’s meditation was skipped.

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The @GlitterbyInk #MayMoon26 Rise Root Return Challenge
As Within Prompt for May 16th : Shadow
Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.

Sci-Fi Tarot - Four of Wands

Today’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of one’s passionate love for the security and welcoming energies of home. This often translates into themes that have to do with homecoming, celebrating home and stability, as well as relaxation in comfortable spaces.

Put away your stresses and worries for a time in order to enjoy your homecomings more.

There’s something to be said for leaving your work at work. It’s a mentality that a lot of people have forgotten about in today’s world, but it essentially boils down to considering your home a place to relax, unwind, and be safe.

I don’t really have that privilege in my home, because I work from home for two of my jobs. That said, it is possible to see my visits up north in this light.

How much more enjoyable could my visits north be if, instead of having a shadow of reluctance and obligation attached to them, I worked at seeing them as a carefree time when I can release my stress and let go of my worries for a while?

The message in today’s Four of Wands and the “shadow” prompt is a reminder that perspective makes a difference. If you enter into a situation or experience with a negative mindset, then you’re almost guaranteed to have a negative experience as a result. Today’s message encourages us to try shifting that perspective, and in doing so shifting our experience to something more positive and enjoyable.

DECK USED:  TODD ALCOTT’S SCI-FI TAROT

@ambitiouslyalexa May Journal Prompts
Prompts for May 18th and 20th

Tarot Reading with the Wind Rose Tarot, Sci-Fi Tarot, and Sacred Witness Oracle

What joy looks like on an ordinary day

Purpose & Values; King of Swords

Clarity and lack of discord when it comes to what you need to do for the day, and a lack of struggle and resistance in connecting with following your moral compass.

For you, joy on an ordinary day is the lack of friction and resistance to what feels right for you. Whether that resistance comes from external sources or (as is more often the case) from within, it has the ability to make things far more difficult than they need to be.

Something beautiful I noticed recently

Guardian of Innocence; Death

After someone has passed, we often remember the good things and forget the bad… or at least start to forgive the bad.

Often when we hold grudges or otherwise hold onto bad memories, they influence how we see other people and hold us back from the release we can experience by letting go of these negative emotions attached to those experiences and people.

And yet, when they pass away, it often seems like part of the grieving process naturally seems to include letting go of these things. It may take time, but they no longer stay fresh and strong. Instead, more and more we are able to soften towards these people that we once regarded as unforgivable.

Other elements included in this reading:
Foraged Purple Heather Sprigs for Independence and Luck
Foraged Parmeliaceae Lichen for a “Breath of Fresh Air”
Gneiss Stone for Patience in Moments of Discomfort
Calcite for Gently Calming the Mind and Stimulating Insights
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECKS USED: WIND ROSE TAROT, TODD ALCOTT’S SCI-FI TAROT, AND SACRED WITNESS ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2026 Challenge
Prompt for May 16th : What do you need to focus on for self-care for this month’s new moon?

Tarot Reading with the Sci-Fi Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t give up (Queen of Swords) just because you are feeling defeated and disappointed (Three of Swords). This is not the end (Ten of Swords Rx).

Take Away: If you allow yourself to sink into feelings of defeat and disappointment, they will swallow you whole.

These feelings and the effects they can have on your mental health are the entire reason why you do your card-of-the-day exercise, and all the work you put into counterbalancing your negative self talk with positivity and optimism.

This means that in order to stay out of that slump that this mentality can drag you down into, you need to keep fighting. Keep doing those things that help and make sure you’re also going in to see your therapist as scheduled. All of these different things may feel useless sometimes, but when gathered up together and combined, they are a much bigger help than you realize.

Other elements included in this reading:
Black Spruce Needles to Boost Self-Confidence and Positive Thinking
Dried Rosebuds for Potential and Beauty Waiting to Unfold
Dried Purple Heather Flowers for Independence and Luck
Dried Rhododendron Leaf for Fostering Confidence
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED:  TODD ALCOTT’S SCI-FI TAROT
Daily Self Kindness

I paid the housekeeper to come by to clean instead of putting it off for another week.

Gideon’s Challenge – Satisfied

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Satisfied

Lawn chairs
and lazy
afternoons
as the sunset
blazes
after mown lawns
and
finished chores
lie in
the rear view
and a little
iced tea makes
dark’s apprach
free
of worries

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Adding Kindling to the Spark

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Today’s meditation was skipped.

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The @GlitterbyInk #MayMoon26 Rise Root Return Challenge

As Within Prompt for May 15th : Integration

Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.

Spirit Keeper's Tarot Revelation Edition - Queen of Wands

Today’s draw is the Queen of Wands (The Golden Shield), which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passion, drive, willpower, determination, values, and principles. This often translates into themes that have to do with being supportive of others projects and passions, or searching for inner truth within your own values and principles.

It is through fostering our inner spark, that we find a clear path forward and protect ourselves from darker influences and urges.

A lot of people don’t understand what I mean when I say “inner spark”. This is that fire within you that lights the way, illuminating your passions and giving you the motivation and inspiration to pursue them. It’s the spark within our chest that flares to light when something strikes our interest and draws us in.

The more we foster this inner spark within us, the more interesting our lives become… not to other people, but to ourselves.

The message in today’s Queen of Wands and the “integration” prompt is an encouragement to seek out that spark within and allow it to flourish. Give it a place in your life instead of something that just sits in the periphery and is ignored. As a result, your life has the potential to become far more interesting and enjoyable.

DECK USED:  SPIRIT KEEPER’S TAROT REVELATION EDITION

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2026 Challenge

Prompts for May 14th

Tarot Reading with The Scrying Poetry Tarot and The Found World Oracle

What loss do you fear the most?

Air and Six of Wands

Your mind and intellect. There’s a lot of things that you can lose, and then recover from that loss. Losing your mind in your intellect, though, would not be as easy to recover from… perhaps not something you could recover from it all.

Everything in your life is supported by the foundation of having a well functioning mind. The things you do, the things you enjoy, those things you value. It’s all dependent upon this one fragile thing.

Your greatest fear, although one that you’re not struggling with currently, is that someday something like dementia or Alzheimer’s will steal your mind away. Even without people to take care of you, this is a terrifying situation for you to consider as a future possibility.

How can you begin to deal with that fear?

Fern; The World atop Two of Cups

Remember that you do have people around you who love you and will support you. You’re not as alone as you sometimes feel.

Not only that, but it’s important to also keep in mind that the universe works in mysterious ways. Even if this is an issue that may arise, it’s something that’s going to arise far off in the future. There’s lots of research and medical discoveries going on each and every day in this area, and just because you don’t know about what’s going on in that sphere of things doesn’t mean you won’t benefit from those discoveries at some future date if needed.

Other elements included in this reading:
Foraged Parmeliaceae Lichen for a “Breath of Fresh Air”
Foraged Purple Heather Sprigs for Independence and Luck
Foraged Lodgepole Pine for Resilience, Growth, and Renewal
Foraged Acorns for Protection during New Beginnings
Flower Agate for Opening the Mind to New Possibilities
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED: THE SCRYING POETRY TAROT AND THE FOUND WORLD ORACLE

@ambitiouslyalexa May Journal Prompts

Prompt for May 14th : Where I feel most at peace

Tarot Reading with the Spirit Keeper's Tarot Revelation Edition

Reading Summary: A place that you go to in order to foster your intellect (Knight of Swords/The Shining Gale), that instills limits upon its visitors (Temperance/The Angel), and provides a balm to your emotions (King of Cups/Archangel of Healing).

Take Away: The library.

I was expecting the answer for this to come up as something to do with being in nature, as I am often at my most peaceful when I am relaxing in nature alone and on my own.

This answer isn’t wrong, though. It’s just something I hadn’t thought of in a very long time, as I usually obtain most of my reading material through Libby instead of stepping inside the library.

This feels like a call to action, encouraging me to actually visit the library and soak in its atmosphere for a while.

Other elements included in this reading:
Dried Lavender Bundle for Calming and Comfort
Moss Agate for Attracting Opportunities for Growth
Clear Quartz for boosting Mental Clarity
Mookaite for Help with Weighing One’s Options
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED:  SPIRIT KEEPER’S TAROT REVELATION EDITION
Daily Self Kindness

I picked up some more of that nasty tasting yogurt that worked so well on my stomach when I was taking antibiotics.