Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_9221Bright

Your love
shines
line sunlight
on my soul
and I bathe
in its radiance
as it
warms me
from the
inside
out.

I can feel the tangled knots of the drop now rising in my gut, seeking out a place to stick and stay, hide and rest.  Your love is the shining light, bright and ever present, that helps keep that bundle of knots for lingering too long.  Thank you for always being there for me during these times… even the ones where reaching for you becomes a challenge all its own.

I love you.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Healing is a Process

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place out on the balcony.  I needed some fresh air and distance, so I closed myself out there and laid out along the plants and pots to chill for a bit.  I took a lazy amount of time out there, even after the breathing exercises I rolled over to spend some time chilling with the overflowing of thyme I have out there this year, picking buds and cleaning things up.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - Three of AirToday’s draw is the Three of Air (Three of Wands) which is traditionally interpreted as representing themes of heartbreak, disappointment, emotional pain, and depression. These “emotions” do not live in the heart, but within the mind, and this is why although the card appears to be about the emotions, it resides within the Swords suit which is the suit of the mind.

In this card, my eyes are irresistibly drawn to the Echinacea flowers reaching for the sky today, as well as the hint of a rusted roof in the distance of the background.  Echinacea is an immune system booster, and is used in spellcraft as a plant that lends an energy boost to your intent as well as an herb used to promote inner strength. This makes the presence of the plant represented on the Three of Swords card especially relevant, as it transforms the card from a representation of desolation and despair to one of growth and support during difficult times.

The roof holds its own meaning to me when I see it in the imagery of this card today. It speaks to me of a long stretch of time. It takes time to weather a corrugated roof and create those streaks of rust and weathering you see in that small peek you see in the lower left corner of the card. Blended with the Echinacea, it speaks of the fact that sometimes it takes time to heal from disappointments and heartache.  Not everything can be immediate.

This message today is in reference to my journey of healing from “the letter”. It’s been months and months since the letter first arrived, and over six months now since I started confronting the fear and fog that swallowed me whole in response to that letter. It feels like this climb out of that place of fear and desolating doubt.  Today’s card is a message of encouragement and patience. A reminder that true healing takes time, and that’s okay.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question:
  What three qualities do I associate with what it means to be “a good person”?

Lumina Tarot

Reading Summary: The ability to stay on the straight and narrow despite the shit that tries to tear you down.

I can’t quite break this one down as neatly as I usually do to display how I came to the bare bones of the reading.   What I see here is that the Three of Swords is the topic.  It is what “happens to you” and the basis of this reading.   The King then represents the strength to “stay the course” and the Eight of Wands reinforces single minded purpose  towards the direction I wish to go in seen in the Two of Wands.

Usually when I break apart my reading to display how I get there, I’m able to break it into pieces that fit together into a succinct sentence.  Something about how the Lumina Tarot communicates makes this process a lot more difficult.  I’m not sure why.

Take Away:  So in breaking this down, three of the qualities I associate with being a good person include the strength of will to “stay the course” of one’s beliefs and standards through through times of struggle and heartache, the ability to perceive the direction you want to go in through these times, and the determination to stay on that course.  This is about one’s moral compass and life goals, and about not allowing negativity to steer you away from those values.

DECK USED:  LUMINA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:
  Banish This / Attract This

Minchiate Etruria Anima Antiqua TarotBanish ThisTaurus –  It’s time to let go of your bullheaded stubbornness and rigidity. There is a great deal of inflexibility in you and in order for the growth you want to happen to flourish and really take off, you need to find a way to let go of some of that rigidity.

Attract ThisThe Grand Duke – Androgyny and a hint of mastery yet to come. The message here is about adaptability, versatility, and growth.  I need to invite these qualities in and allow them to ease the rigidity that is holding me back.  It is possible to hold on to who you are and your moral compass, even as you move through the changes taking place and grow into a better person.

DECK USED:  MINCHIATE ETRURIA ANIMA ANTIQUA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
let in // let out // let go // let rest

Albano Waite Tarot

King of Cups Let in Gideon, for he is your support and knows you better than all others (except perhaps L). Sometimes, especially when I’m dealing with subdrop, it can be hard to open up.  Feeling so vulnerable makes being so open especially a struggle, but that is what he is there for, to block out the danger so that he and he alone has access to those tender moments and inner knots, and can help me through.

The Empress Let out into the world my ability to nurture and encourage others. Remember that the creations you make and send out in to the world have power to influence others in positive, nurturing ways. They foster positivity and spread joy, bringing this warmth and energy into the lives of others, sometimes when they need it most, but always with the ability to then spread out from that person to the next and the next.

The SunLet go and allow the sun to shine. Don’t allow pessimism to win out. You’ve made he conscious choice to try and move in a more positive direction, to foster positivity and joy in your life. In order for this to happen, you have to allow it.

Ace of SwordsLet rest my harsher nature. That inner critic and the inner dialog that goes on with myself is not healthy.  Pushing it away is not the only path to easing up on this.  Letting it rest is another method worth exploring.

DECK USED:  ALBANO WAITE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I capture my best ideas?

Wheel of the Year Tarot

Reading Summary: Take time to examine them from all angles (The Hanged Man), pick them apart and judge them harshly (Queen of Swords) in order to challenge their worth (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  This is more about how to sort out the best ideas from the not as great ones. It’s one of those times where that shrewd judgement and harsh sight comes in handy as it allows me to pick apart an idea down to its bare bones and look at all the drawbacks and other pitfalls it might have.   If it can make it through that process and come out the other side, it is truly worthy of exploring further.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_9398Calm and Quiet

First she comes
tentative
and wild
one quiet step
and then another.
Shhh… stay still
and watch
they say,
and next
comes the surprise.

Twins with wobbly legs and curiously twitching noses follow their mother out of the trees and into the open. They stay close, but still they come.  Their mother is skittish, but she brings them forward to show them off in a gift built through years of cultivating trust.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Responsibilities

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
In these uncertain times, let’s look at a few positives this week with the help of our divination tools. What good thing has not changed in the world this year? What do you have to look forward to? What can you do right now to move yourself toward a good future? And what can you do right now to move the world toward a better future?

Permaculture Playing Cards

What good thing has not changed in the world this year?

Five of Spades – We have not been beaten into submission.  Instead society continues to fight.  Perhaps sometimes their fight is misdirected, but that spark is still there and burning bright. We continue to stand tall, even as 2020 tries to break us all.

What do I have to look forward to?

Six of Clubs – Vitality within my ambitions and drive. My endeavors will continue to thrive and go well, as long as I am willing to put my interest into them and apply my creative drive to keeping them going.

What can I do right now to move myself toward a good future?

Jack of Spades – Apply yourself to finding better ways to communicate with others and express yourself and your ideas clearly. Make a list of your interests and ideas so that you can explore them at your leisure instead of either rushing through with the concern you will forget about them before you learn what you want to learn.

What can I do right now to move the world toward a better future?

Two of Spades – Make good choices. Every positive thing you do and good choice you make trickles outward into the world much in the same way your creations bring positivity to others and that positivity spreads out from them.  Sometimes more can be accomplished through a million small good choices than one grand gesture.

DECK USED: PERMACULTURE PLAYING CARDS