Even Flow

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on tolerance, which is a very fitting subject for today’s meditation considering the card I drew for today.   The meditation guided me through a breathing exercise while discussing how when you find that mindfulness of being centered in your practice, irritants in the environment cease to become disruptive aggravating irritants, and instead become simply another part of the environment around you, and you detached from an emotional response to them.

Temperance - Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Temperance card of the Major Arcana. This card is a representation of…. well… temperance.  Duh, right?  Okay so what IS temperance then?  Temperance is moderation and self-restraint, and through those traits the creation of balance.

In order to create this balance, that self restraint requires a purpose, and that is the message of today’s card.  It is a reminder of my goals.  Not just of my goals, but of what I need to do (and not do) in order to achieve them. Sometimes my “addictions” can get the better of me.  Sometimes my emotions can get the better of me too. And, if I’m truthful, sometimes even my creativity and ambitions can get the better of me.

In all these cases, moderation is needed, and self restraint is required.  Otherwise, things fall out of balance, chaos reigns, and my world begins tumble out of control.

Funny side note?   Every time I see a Temperance card lately?   The chorus of the Pearl Jam song “Even Flow” starts playing in my head.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: How can I improve my relationship with my body in the coming year?

The 5-Cent Tarot

Reading Summary: More exercise (Page of Buttons), preferably some of it outside (The Sun) is needed, but so is giving myself the rest that I need (Four of Needles). Take time to bond with others and take them on my journey (Three of Needles atop Three of Cups).

Take Away:  So, the thing that I have NOT been doing to up my self-care over the past year has been in the exercise department.   I know that to gain weight, I need to get back to the gym, because I need to build muscle in order to create that bulk I lack.

I don’t know why I’ve been so avoidant on this, but I do know that part of it is my discomfort with how lean I have become and…. a sort of self blame for all of that, even though I know a lot of it was from the cancer.   I need to forgive myself and involve others in my self-care to benefit from it the most.   And, as always… I need more rest.




Charity… It’s Okay to Let Go

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and entailed a thorough body scan from head to toe and then a brief guidance through the topic of self-competition and going a bit easier on  yourself when you are pushing for your best.

Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is a double without jumper. The cards in today’s draw are the Seven of Swords and the Eight of Swords.   And isn’t it strange how they came out together like that?  But I have shuffled this particular deck a few hundred times now, so… it’s just meant to be.

What I see in the message of these cards is a fully intuitive hit based off the imagery and how the imagery of the two cards play of each other.   It speaks of the importance of leaving behind what no longer serves you in order to find a better place.  And, that leaving something behind means you are releasing your stakes in it entirely.  Who cares who comes along and picks up those things you have chosen to leave behind?  Perhaps those things will serve another better than they have you.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: How did I treat my body this year?

This Might Hurt Tarot

Reading Summary:  I got in touch with my inner self and found a new perspective (The Hanged Man), but I struggled with a lot of difficult choices as well (Seven of Cups) and might have made a few missteps along the way (Two of Swords).  All in all, though, I’ve done a spectacular job of caring for myself (King of Pentacles) and ensuring that I am nurturing and nourishing my body (Queen of Pentacles) this year.

Take Away: I stepped up things on the self-care front this year, and have stuck with it since I first started with it in the spring.  This has really paid off in keeping me healthy this year, even if I’ve occasionally “slipped up” in my self care here and there along the way.



Don’t Break… Take Breaks Instead

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on finding a pathway to peace in the middle of chaos.   Honestly, I’m writing this about fourteen hours later and I can’t remember a damn thing about what was said in the guided meditation, but I do know that my stress level felt better after those ten minutes than it did before.

Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is a double without a jumper.  The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Cups and the Knight of Wands.   What I see here is a reminder to breathe.

I am the Knight of Wands right now, but you can only charge full speed ahead for so long before you need to breathe, eat, drink, ground, and center.

Although I know I need these things, it feels like it’s wasting time.   I feel like I am wasting time now, just writing this out. But, I also know that I need this time.  I need to step away and take a breath now and then.   I need to give myself space, no matter how swamped I am and how desperately I’m trying to catch up.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: What challenge did I overcome that I deserve to be proud of?


Reading Summary:  PTSD (Eight of Swords), and the emotions that were spawned (Ace of Cups) by that and by the experiences with my ex and his influences.  Despite all of that, I continue to reach out to others, share my feelings and seek out others and include them as a part of my life (Three of Cups).

Take Away:  Rape is ugly.  Home invasions are ugly.  Dying on my kitchen floor was ugly.  The scars left behind are ugly. All of these things are ugly. Any of these things on their own could have been devastating to my life as a whole.  And yet, I survived them all and more, and I am stronger from them.  Not only did I survive, but I did not allow them to stop me from caring… from loving… or from reaching out to others and allowing people into my life.

DECK USED:  Ancestral Path Tarot


Healthy Roots Need Grounding

Today’s meditation was a little over ten minutes long and focused upon directing warmth and kindness to the self, then loved ones, and then outward into the world.   It was nice to get back to the guided meditations and I found the practice very relaxing and a good way to start my day.

High Priestess - Slow TarotToday’s draw is the High Priestess card, which is usually an indication of intuition and the subconscious.   What I see in this card today is intuitive rather than traditional, though, because what really drew my eye in this card this morning was the tree that grows both apart from, and yet also through her.

I see a reminder that when things get chaotic, grounding yourself is important.  Too much chaos without that grounding must makes everything feel that much more cacophonous.

Grounding is good.  It’s a life skill that’s really important to my well being.  Today’s card is a reminder to do it regularly through this chaotic time of year.

(Interestingly?  The two figures in this card that are representing the High Priestess’ pillars make me think of the Gatekeepers in the Neverending Story. Remember those?)


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: What should I focus on as this year comes to a close?

Tarot of the Little Prince

Reading Summary: Staying centered, grounded, and self-possessed (Queen of Cups) will assist me in not just my own self-care, but in how I care for others (The Empress).  Remember that even when difficult choices are before me (Two of Swords), I have all the tools I need (The Magician) to make things work and make it through.

Take Away:  I managed to make (as in yes, actually make the jewelry pieces), process, and package 114 orders today as a part of catching up on what has piled up while I was away at mom’s house.   I’m only about 2/3rds of the way there, but I wouldn’t have made it as far as I have without that centered calm. I will get everything done, and I will keep up on orders… and I have what I need to do that, not just in the skills and supplies necessary, but also in the help (re: the red fox in the Two of Swords) I’m enlisting from L and J.



Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?


EarthTen of Wands and Unknown – You are over burdened right now with work. Set everything else aside and pay attention to what needs done to keep up on orders and get through the holiday rush.

AirThree of Pentacles and Muse of Poetry – Make sure you are opening up and letting those around you know how you are feeling and when you need their help. You’re going to feel overwhelmed, which is natural at this time of year, make sure though that you don’t bottle that up. Instead, share it and lighten that burden by “spreading the wealth” of responsibilities and work to be done.

WaterFive of Wands and Resonance – It is not surprising that things are going to feel dissonant and discordant at the moment. With so much to do and so little time, emotions that you normally might handle easily are going to be difficult to work with while overburdened by the holiday rush.

FireTen of Swords, Ultima Materia, Muse of Music – There is no time for new ideas right now, or even creative thinking. Be the boss, take charge of what needs to be done, and find a rhythm that will get you through what is the hardest time of the year for you.

WaningWeaving Flowers – Creativity and inspiration is in a decline at the moment. This card is an echo of the reading in the Fire position. Now is the time to put your nose to the grindstone, and not allow your head and heart free reign to distract you.

WaxingMiss Sunshine – Set aside fears and uncertainty, and concentrate on focusing on your intentions and on the positive in order to keep in a place of mental clarity that will allow you to move forward.

Moral of the Story – The “holy shit” of the holiday rush is now here and it’s time to set aside distractions and focus. I’m still going to be trying to do my daily card pulls/readings, but don’t be surprised if I miss a few this month while things are hot and heavy with orders.

Decks Used:  Pam’s Vintage Tarot (bridge size), Divine Muses Oracle, Oracle of Mystical Moments


Ask For Help

Today’s meditation was just under twenty minutes long, and was not guided. It was a part of my morning yoga that I do daily to keep my “repaired parts” operating smoothly as a part of my physiotherapy.

It was very relaxing, but I think I’m going to have to go back to doing the guided meditation once I’m back home. I just feel like I’m not getting as much out of the self directed ones, although, they are a nice change now and then.

Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally read as a conflict or clash of passions and ambitions.

Although I definitely see this portrayed in this card, my intuitive hit was much stronger off the image itself than from the traditional meaning. Ive noticed that this has happened a lot with both the Tarot of the Little Prince and the Ostara Tarot while on this trip.

What I see in today’s card is about getting through tough times with the help of others, rather than on your own. Sometimes burdens and conflict are handled better together than on your own. This is a lesson that I struggle with quite a bit as I always feel like I need to do everything myself.

Today’s card is telling me to remember to ask for help when I get home and begin processing orders for the time I have been away.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What positive thought pattern should I embrace moving forward?

Ostara TarotReading Summary: remember you do not live in a place of scarcity anymore (Ten of Coins), achieving your goals means acknowledging you can’t do everything at once (Two of Wands atop the King of Wands) so stop ignoring (Four of Cups) the natural changes (Death) that progress has wrought (King of Wands and Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The cards are telling me that I’m living in the past and ignoring that I have reached a point in my business where I need to accept help. In the future, it would be a positive change to ask for help when I need it, which the cards indicate will assist in easing my scarcity issues.


The Magic of Synergy

Today’s meditation was about 20 minutes long, and the mist peaceful I’ve had so far since coming to visit mom’s house. That is because everyone went out to shop for a new recliner and I was left at home alone.

The meditation itself was not guided, but instead a full body scan with a bit of stretching mixed in.

The Lovers - Ostara Tarot Today’s draw is the Lovers card, and the reading off of today’s card is intuitive rather than through traditional meanings.

What I see in today’s card is synergy. In my experience, when you dance ballroom style (as in the photo) while blindfolded, there is a connection necessary that goes beyond familiarity and the physical. It becomes a give and take of energy, an ebb and flow of two becoming one. There is no lead and follow, no you and them. It is a synergy, a melding, a swirling together into one entity guided by music.

When it’s right, and you both feel it, it is perfect. In my relationship with you, there are times when I have felt this as well. It is magic… a very special type of magic.

Today’s card is simply a reminder of those times, and how amazing and precious they are.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What negative thought pattern should I leave behind?

Tarot of the Little Prince

Reading Summary: Keeping everything to myself (Nine of Pentacles) because if the worry that sharing my emotional enthusiasm (Ace of Cups) will lead to unpleasant consequences (knight of Swords), and so choose to show a facade that I’m fully in control (King of Pentacles) using distractions to keep other’s attention elsewhere (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  This is all about my perception of vulnerability associated with emotion. It is also about the Less-Than whisper. Sharing my emotions with others is a struggle for me, as I see my emotions as a vulnerability that, when shared, opens me up to manipulation and pain.

This is not to say that I am not genuine or true to myself, but it means that I muffle and tone down the emotional side of myself so that most only ever see the ripples on the surface and not the strong currents beneath, or I use distractions to direct people’s attention elsewhere so that they miss seeing much of anything at all.

(Side Note: This is a part of why I found you so intimidating when I first met you. You would not be distracted. Instead you looked beyond the ripples and into the depths, and refused to look away.)


The Right Path

This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about finding your path.

Topic for the Week of 11/25: What let’s you know you have chosen the right path?

Is it strange that I’m having trouble formulating a reply to this question when I am so certain of my (somewhat unconventional even in the pagan community) path?

The thing is… it’s my heart and my gut that tell me I’m on the right path. I feel it deep inside where the soul lives.

I think that to get to that point, though, you have to get to a point of acceptance of the knowledge that everyone’s path is going to be different. Spirituality isn’t a “cookie cutter” experience, but rather highly individualistic. There is no right or wrong other than what is right for you (and of course, you know, legalities).

Once you can accept that each and every person is a unique snowflake and their spirituality is going to echo that individuality, then as you start exploring different practices, beliefs, faiths, and dogmas… you will find that some just feel right… and others don’t.

Take what resonates with you instead of trying to fit into a mold someone else had decided should be yours, and you will find it easier and easier to identify those things that work for you.

Turn Around… It’s About Perspective

Today’s meditation has not happened yet, because I had to get up early to help with things in the kitchen. I will be doing the meditation before sleep today, and will probably fall asleep during, as I’m very tired.

Today’s draw is the Eight of Swords, and thus reading is an intuitive hit that’s is 100% off of the card imagery.

The message in today’s card is that sometimes when things are looking their worst, you just need to open your eyes and look behind you. It’s not often that solutions to life’s problems just fall into your lap, sometimes a little creative thinking outside the box is in order for things to fall into place.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What what truth would like to reveal itself to me?

Ostara Tarot Reading Summary: When you pounce on new ambitions and passions, it can cause struggle and conflict (Five of Wands atop Ace of Wands), true success takes a combination of hard work, time, and patience (Temperance atop Seven of Coins). With those qualities present you can fly (The Star).

Take Away:  I have this habit of “pounce and plunder” whenever amazing new project ideas spring up, and that can cause a lot of chaos as I try to fit them in with current responsibilities. The cards are reminding me that “slow and steady wins the race”. If I want to achieve my goals, I need to practice some patience.


Internal Struggles

Today’s meditation was done on the hardwood floor with my feet up on the bed. I needed the extra support because my back was killing me and the hard surface helped with stabilization and stretching it out. The meditation was not guided and lasted about fifteen minutes of quiet breathing.

Two of Pentacles - Ostara TarotToday’s draw is the Two of Pentacles. This is a card that I usually see quite a bit of chaos concerning. Not in the “Tower” sense of chaos, but just in that it takes a good deal of work to create balance and sometimes that work can feel chaotic.

In this card? It feels even more so. It is the smoke from the bottles, but mor than that, it is the lack of constraint created by the infinity loop that usually accompanies the balancing of the two aspects. There is also the element that the man is floating, which increases that sense of lack of control.

And yet? The birds on the ground are calm and perceive no threat.

Today’s card is a reminder that although creating balance can sometimes feel like a process that is chaotic and anchor less, this is just a trick of the mind. An internal struggle. And if you take a moment to step outside yourself in these moments, you will find that everything is fine, and that the storm is only on the inside.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I be more trusting of my inner voice?

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary: Take some time to look around instead of holding so tightly to the reigns (The Chariot), sometimes you have to look back at the things you’ve done in life and forgive yourself for your faults (Judgement) snd instead focus on all the good you’ve done instead (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  The cards are indicating that I am too hard on myself, and too harsh and stringent with myself. They are saying that if I want an even better connection to that inner voice, I need to let up and treat my inner self better.