Stop Stalling

Today’s meditation was just over fourteen minutes long and I tried another of those “contacting your spirit guides” meditations on YouTube.   This one was better than the last one, but… not by much.   I think it would have been okay for me if it wasn’t for the occasional operatic singer “voices of the angels style” in the background that kept making my shoulder spasm.

I wish I could find something with a soothing voice and a more natural background sound.  All the new-age synthetics is really annoying to me.

Eight of Wands - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which feels like a reiteration of yesterday’s challenge prompts.    That is to say that the one of the most common traditional meanings of the Eight of Wands is swift action.

In yesterday’s card of the day and prompts, it dealt with the stymie of being stuck on how to move forward on multiple levels after the break and breather I took following the holiday rush.   The advice was that movement is needed, but that I need to take it one step at a time.

Today’s card is essentially saying “come on, get off your ass and start moving already”.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What obstacle can I anticipate over the next 12 months?

Fey Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to make sure that I don’t trip over my own pride (Five of Swords), that could hinder my emotional development (Queen of Chalices).  This year is going to have a lot of ups and downs along the way (Wheel of Fortune) and I will need that new level of emotional depth and developing stability in order to help me through the rough parts.

Take Away:  This year’s birth card for me, as mentioned before, is the Wheel of Fortune.  And I fully expect that, as promised, the year is going to be chock-full of ups and downs. The cards in relation to it are a warning that pride becomes before the fall.  If I want to find that balance and development I’m seeking this year concerning the new depth of emotions I began to tap into last fall, I need to cast aside my pride and be open to some difficult lessons along the way.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do I need to focus on for self care during this full moon?

Tarot Cats

Reading Summary:  I’m feeling especially unfocused (Knight of Swords) and need to let go of my defense mechanisms (Nine of Wands) concerning the new level of emotions I’ve been dealing with (Ace of Cups).  Unless I’m willing to be open to them and share them, I won’t be able to move forward (Two of Wands).

Take Away:  That new level of emotional depth I started to discover and experience in the fall was set on the back burner for the holiday rush.  Now that the rush is over, it’s trying to shift itself back into place and towards the surface, but I’ve been subconsciously resisting the shift.  It’s time to let go of that restraint and allow myself the freedom to explore so that I can move forward with learning how to adjust to and live with this new depth rather than trying to ignore it or push it away.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: What makes a completed goal?

Field TarotReading Summary:  The satisfaction (King of Cups) of my curiosity (Princess of Swords). I then need time to take a break (Eight of Cups) and release the tight grip on my burdens (Ten of Wands) while assessing my performance and its end results (Judgement).

Take Away:  To feel a goal has been completed, I need to feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that my curiosities have been fully sated and there’s nothing more to be done.  I then need time to take a break and a breather away from what I’ve been working on to relieve any burnout I’ve been experiencing and give me time to release my sense of being burdened or overwhelmed.  During this time, it is important for me to assess my performance and its end results in order for me to feel as if my goal has truly been met and I can then set aside the drive to get there and “get it right”.



A Letter to Mother

A letter I will never deliver, but… needed to get out of my system somehow.


Dear Mère

I am hurting, and you don’t care. You are the perpetrator, and… you don’t care.

When I was growing up, and even as an adult before dad passed away, I saw you as warm and caring. I saw you as a wonderful and supportive mother. I was blind to, and amused by, your frivolous antics and society focused views. Your constant desire to have us look our best and present at our best was simply a part of your motherly charms.

And then father died, and you seemed to drop the charade that I didn’t even realize you were performing. You became clear about your disgust concerning my orientation, where before you had seemed supportive in contrast to father’s constant berating. You stopped trying to conceal your shallow and self-centered interests and goals behind a motherly façade.

Perhaps we are at fault for perpetuating your behavior. After all, in our home your children’s birthdays are not celebrated. Instead, those birthdays are another “Mother’s Day” with the focus upon you and the life you have given to us. Father left decisions up to you, because he was focused upon appearances as well, and you made certain he was pleased with how others viewed our family, even after I emancipated from it in my teens.

I now realize that the pagan parenting mentor you sought out when we were children wasn’t because you wanted to find a better path to integrate your faith into your children’s lives… but because you wanted to be less involved, and you treated Z like a nanny, handing us over to her so that you could wash your hands of the heavy lifting. I now realize that it was Z that raised me through that second half of my childhood, and Z that taught me about values, ethics, and morals… whereas what you taught me was about social mores, with a heavy stress on the “social” part of that equation.

I have realized very clearly of late that our value to you is based upon what we can do for you. The dance classes, the etiquette lessons, the constant pressure to look “presentable” and “perfect” whenever we might be seen by others either outside the home or within it. It wasn’t for our benefit as you so very carefully had us believe. We were rare and beautiful trinkets to be shown off and admired by all. A set of beautiful, exotic looking twins that were both loyal and well mannered no matter the occasion of situation. A social stepping stone to elevate you above others.

But we are no longer children, mother. We are not pawns in your game of life to be positioned at your whim. L and I are not toys to strategically maneuver into place for your social or economical benefit.

Please stop.

Stop trying to show us off to your cocktail party friends, country club acquaintances, and foundation associates. Stop pressuring L to move back in with you so she will be more available to be manipulated and used to your benefit whenever you desire to do so.

And for fuck sake, STOP trying to pressure and blackmail me into going on dates with “the eligibles” of your circle in the hopes for a “good match”. A match that would only be good for you and you alone. I’m with someone. I have been with him for nearly twelve years. I’m not going to leave him (or betray him) just because he’s of no use to you.

Honestly? I don’t even know why you’re trying. After the way you reacted when I was attacked and obtained my facial scar, I was sure this shit was over where I was concerned.

The next time you spring another “date” on me, I will make such an embarrassment out of you that you won’t be able to show your face among your circle again without being snickered at and mocked. Do not give out my phone number. Do not send people to my door. I’ve had enough.  (This part I have already clearly communicated to you, and I really hope that you were listening.)

I love you. Despite your flaws and your selfishness. I love you, and I always will.

But it’s time to stop.

Your wayward son,


The Quagmire

Today’s meditation was twelve minutes long, and was an activity in sensory awareness, and using the five senses in a productive way that can reduce moments of anxiety.

The activity starts off with the meditative breathing, and then moves through finding five things you can see.  Then four things you can hear.  Three things you can feel (tactile). Two things you can smell.  Then one thing you can taste.

By focusing on each sense individually, you sort of “distract” your anxiety away from whatever has been triggering to you.  I think that it could also work really well to bring you down into a meditative state at times when having trouble focusing during meditation.  That’s something I’ll explore another day, though.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Eight of Swords, which is a representation of being trapped in your own “mental mess”.

This is very much a clear representation of me of late.  I feel like I am stuck.  Stuck in regards to the business.  Stuck in regards to the clutter in my home at the moment. Stuck in my spiritual development. Stuck in the quagmire of being… stuck.

It’s like the “pause” in the new year where you go into reflection of the past year and consideration of future steps turned into cement that is drying around my feet.

Today’s appearance of the Eight of Swords is an encouragement to seek a path out of the “stuck” that I currently find myself in.  This feeling is one of my own making, and it needs to have a light shined on it so that I can find the steps forward out of the mire rather than standing in it and growing roots there while the cement dries.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: How can I do so without neglecting my own needs? (Build off yesterday’s cards.)

Bohemian Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: Be selective in who I offer my help to (King of Earth), and make sure they are appreciative (Six of Fire) of what I have to offer (The Shaman).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s read was about friends that come to me for an open ear or a bit of guidance.  Today’s reminds me that I can’t be that for everyone.  In order to keep from becoming overwhelmed and to allow myself space for my own self care, I need to be selective concerning those I offer that ear and advice to.  And in order to keep from becoming frustrated or resentful, I need to make sure that those I give these gifts to value them rather than disregarding them as either inconsequential or their due.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2

Lo Scarabeo TarotReading Summary: The Moon focuses this reading upon my uncertainties in moving into the new year.

The Ace of Wands indicates that the new beginnings planned for my business are feeling a bit overwhelming. The redirection is a new ambition in this area, and that newness can can cause a “sit and stew” situation when there is a lack in push to move forward.  This doesn’t have to deal with just the business, as I had a lot of “newness” to explore in the new year.  Things I put off emotionally, spiritually, as well as concerning my business ambitions.

The Knight of Swords indicates that I’m stuck too much in the mud of the ideas and inspirations, and not pushing forward as much as I need to.  What started out as a rest after the holidays has turned into a stymied situation that I really need to push to get through and out of.  Because there is so much newness in so many areas, the Knight here speaks of finding focus.  You can’t charge forward without having a direction to charge into.

The Knight of Cups makes it clear that without emotional investment, I’m not going to break free of the quagmire that I find myself in. Don’t close my emotions off and go about things as if everything is fine.  Instead, use my emotions as motivation to drive me forward and into action.

The Three of Pentacles reminds me that I am not alone.  Not in any of this.  I have support when I need it, and help whenever I need to ask for it.  I don’t need to do it all by myself and will become better at these different aspects I’m struggling with if I bring in others to help me learn along the way.

Take Away:  Too much new shit on my plate at one time.  If I want to get going with the things I want to change, I need to pick a direction and go instead of stewing in uncertainty and letting that uncertainty mire me deeper and deeper in immobility.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: Where could others benefit from me contributing more?

Spirit of the Flowers TarotReading Summary:  These cards are a reiteration of the Tarot for Growth answer for today.   They speak of choosing recipients of my time and attention by looking at the long-term benefits (Seven of Pentacles) that my contributions will offer to others to help them through times of overwhelm (Ten of Wands) and emotional development (Knave of Chalices) by using my skills at guidance to help them along their path (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  I feel that this read is about how others benefit more, but also myself.  It speaks of the need to look at a larger picture and a more far-reaching development and result when I choose those that I share my time, advice, and knowledge with.  Those “fly by night” friends and students will only benefit a small amount, and I will only benefit in helping them by a small amount.  If I really want a beneficial relationship with helping others, I need to look for those that are going to carry those lessons forward into their lives.


The Grim Reaper and The Pilot

Pull at least three cards and use them to formulate a response to…
“You’re early,” said the Grim Reaper with a hint of surprise.


Making himself comfortable in the Grim Reaper’s waiting room, the pilot explains…

“Well you know, I’d really gotten fed up with things at home. My wife’s a bitch and my house is falling apart. I really hated where I was and I decided I wanted a divorce and to move in a new direction. (Eight of Oceans)  After all, I’m my own man, a big boy, and more than capable of doing things my own way. (The Emperor)

I figured, it’s my life. I can damn well choose how I live it. I don’t have to do things by the standards and rules of those that came before me, and sometimes you have to throw a joint history to make plans. (Six of Oceans)

After all, I deserve to have good things, and I deserve to have good people in my life. I deserve the opportunity to give myself what I need for once, yeah? (The Empress)

SO I took the initiative and I packed my bags, cookies and all, and headed for the airport.

I was determined was going to change my life for the better. Everything was going to be fine. Perfect, even! (Ten of Earth)

I talked myself up as I walked out the door and I hailed a cab. (Strength) I gave myself a pep talk all the way through the ride to the airport, and then through the airport to my gate.

I got on the plane and we prepared for take off. And then we were in the air, my bright new future ahead of me. (The World)


About half way through the flight that goddamned JACKASS of a co-pilot on the first ever flight of his career decided HE was the better pilot! (Page of Wands) He locked me in the bathroom, took the plane off autopilot, and took over the controls, and …




Revisit of the Five of Wands

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on the benefits of meditation in helping keep mental clutter in check.  This has been one of the largest benefits of my meditation, to be honest.

I know that, like most people, I struggle with concentration while in the middle of my meditation practice, but the effort does seem to assist in building the mental “muscle” needed to focus better in the day to day, and by doing so, not allow overwhelm to get the better of me.

The thing is that with meditation it’s about slow progress and small gains.  You only start to see those gains once they’ve begun to add up like grains of sand in a glass.  One grain of sand or even a thousand of them, seems inconsequential.  But over time, they become something substantial.

Five of Wands - Spacious Tarot Today’s draw is the Five of Wands (again) which, as I mentioned before, is about tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s ambitions, drives, and passions.  And I’m just saying, but when this card shows up twice in a week and it’s only Tuesday? It starts to feel a little ominous. I know it’s just the cards saying, “You didn’t get it… Try again,” but still.

I still feel that this message is about what can be benefited from conflict.  The sparks still stand out to me the strongest. In that message, though, is also the indication that you have to go through the conflict in the first place.

As the purpose of my daily draw is to find the positive in each day’s card for mental health reasons, today’s appearance of the Five of Wands is a message of hope, indicating that no matter how hard  the conflict might be, there is a reason for it and an in to it as well. Because after every upheaval comes the calm, and in that calm a newness.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What can I do this year to be of service to others?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary: Provide a sense of stability and security (Card 1) and a calm center (Card 2) for others in the storm (Card 3).

In the first card, the house and garden communicate to me a sense of peace.  There’s a sense of providing what is needed in the healthy garden out front, and security and stability in the house itself and how well cared for it is. 

In the second card is a depiction of a beach and calm sea.  To me this imagery is very soothing.  There are stones well seated in the scene that speak to me of solidity and stability as well, reinforcing the first card and further indicating a sense of calm.

The third card depicts a roaring fire, and my first instinct when I saw this was the phrase “trial by fire” and the chaos and transformation that is involved in the process.

Take Away: Friends often come to me for an ear or guidance when they’re feeling lost.   For these friends, I represent a safe place and an open mind, a place they can come to confide in someone and find perspective.  The cards indicate that this is a good thing, and a way that I can contribute to others in the year ahead, just as I have in the years past.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What is a really great idea you had but then forgot about?

Ember + Aura Tarot

Reading Summary: A new investment (Ace of Coins) in my passionate endeavors (Daughter of Wands) that will take me to the “next level” (The World).

Take Away:  There are a couple of creative classes I’ve been wanting to take.  But over the past year I’ve not even been able to entertain the idea, let alone look into doing something about it.   The classes in jewelry design techniques and photography have the potential to elevate my work both professionally and creatively to a new level if i can find a way to fit them in sometime this year (or even beyond this year if that’s the case).  This is definitely something I had forgotten about over the past year.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: Pull three cards for a career/life meaning goal.

Cat's Eye TarotReading Summary: The career/life goal that I focused on was a general outlook on the business over the next year.   From the cards pulled, business over the next year is going to be crappy (Seven of Swords… look at that cat pissing on the wall!  Jesus.  Seriously.) and uncertain (The Moon). Just remember to stay calm and centered emotionally (King of Cups).

Take Away:  That is not something I’m particularly good at since the awakening of my emotions has gotten more intense lately.  I’m referring to the whole “stay calm and centered” during personal crisis and uncertainty, yeah?   I mean I can?  But it takes a lot more effort these days than it used to when I could live in a state of detachment. 

That said, the cards are a good reminder that it’s going to be needed moving forward into this year, as there will be hurdles involved that are going to try my patience and effort to stay calm and collected.


Lacking the Oomph

Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes long, and I tried again to do the spirit guide meditation.   I think that perhaps I need to find a different guided meditation for this.  I’m not sure if it’s the guide’s voice or the background music or something else entirely, but there’s something in there that is not allowing me to relax and focus as I’d like.  Maybe there’s just too much audio stimulation going on.

The Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Three of Pentacles, which often for me is a representation of collaboration, but that is not what I pick up from this card.  In fact, if I were to take the image alone and fit it into the tarot, normally I’d have fit this in as the Eight of Pentacles rather than the three.

As an intuitive read, though, I see something else entirely in this card.

I see boredom.

The message in today’s card speaks the fact that no matter how good you get at something and how beautiful the end results are, sometimes it’s still just a job.  It might be your greatest passion.  It might be your most favorite hobby of all time.  You might absolutely love your job and everything about it.   But sometimes?  It’s just a job.  Sometimes you have a period of boredom and lack of inspiration, and that’s okay.

It’s okay to feel that way.  In fact, it’s perfectly natural.  And that reassurance is what I get out of today’s card.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What do my ancestors/spirit guides/the cards want me to know about 2020?

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary:  There’s that King of Wands again.   Stop overburdening myself with brilliant inspiration and creative spark (Ten of Wands). New creative inspirations are great (Ace of Wands), but you need to take a more structured and grounded approach (King of Wands).

Take Away:  I’ve been getting this message from the cards a lot lately, and… clearly I’m not listening.  Or maybe I am, but I’m just not allowing it to actually absorb and sink in deep.   This is actually my very first “spirit guides” reading (for myself or for others) and… it makes me wonder if they haven’t been speaking through the cards all along actually.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do you actually deserve? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

The Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary:  The Six of Swords is a repeat from yesterday’s read, indicating that I do deserve a change for the better (Six of Swords), but that it won’t come from changes to who I am or a personality/outlook adjustment.  Instead it will come from a more organic source that has been a long time coming (Death), and create a period of feeling overwhelmed and overburdened (Ten of Wands) while I move through the adjustment period.

Take Away:  Change is coming… and it sucks.  It’s going to feel heavy and like it’s too much.  It’ll be a struggle.  But, once I’ve made it through the gauntlet?  I’ll be in a better place on the other side.   I have deliberately chosen not to ask the cards -what- this upcoming change is, at least for the time being.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: Three cards for guidance on a personal goal. (Rephrased for specificity.)

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  Stay on track (Card 1), stay grounded while looking forward towards what I want (Card 2), and invite others along the way to help me get there (Card 3).

Take Away:  I know that to a lot of people image-only cards are difficult, but they appear so very self explanatory to me.  It’s like my brain says “do I need to flesh this out?  Because it’s so obvious” but I know it’s not.  It’s just obvious to me.

My goal for this question are centered around stability and security concerning home and finances.   The shades of blue combined with hints of water threaded throughout all three cards is a reminder to stay calm and not allow emotional disruption to influence my outlook.

The first card speaks of staying focused on my goals rather than allowing different interests and distractions to take me off track.

In the second card I see a seaweed draped rock sitting before a painting of the sea, staring at where it wants to be, representing my need to focus upon the future and my goals and stay grounded in the moment while doing so.

The third card is an invitation.  A dinner party waiting for guests to arrive.  The card is a reminder that there are others in my life happy to step in and help, all I need to do is reach out to them and invite them in.


Waxing Poetic – The Hanged Man

The Major Arcana card that identify most strongly with, and what it means to me.


The Hanged Man reminds me that each hurdle I come upon (of which there have been many, and will surely be many more) is an opportunity for betterment in some way, not a road block.

The card says to me that it’s okay to have a life filled with struggles and hurdles, strife and discord, woe and adversity. These things are lessons in life that teach me how to become better. Better at the things I want to do… Better at the way I find my joy… And, just an all around better person as a whole.

The Hanged Man is a reminder that these things are there not to drag me down and make me miserable. Instead, they are there to create perspective, wisdom, and strength, as well as to foster deeper roots within myself and my life with which to anchor me through the hardest parts, like a tree standing strong in a storm is anchored deep within the soil.

Learning lessons and learning different perspectives is not always pleasant. It’s painful and uncomfortable and extremely awkward. To me the Hanged Man is a representation of how these struggles hold immeasurable worth, if I’m willing to look beyond the discomfort to see what’s waiting there for me to learn.


Creation Through Conflict

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on a full body scan for the most part.  It was not a guided meditation, and although I had intended on going for a full fifteen minutes, I was interrupted by a phone call from the doctor’s office and couldn’t get back into it after I’d hung up.  (Everything is fine, it’s just bloodwork related.)

Spacious Tarot Today’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s ambitions, passions, and drive.

What I see, though?  Is spark.

The message contained in the Five of Wands in today’s draw is that sometimes conflict actually has the potential to create.  It has the ability to get the juices flowing and, although conflict and trials can be a struggle, they can also provide a much needed clearing of air and energy, which makes room for something new and better.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What does my mind want me to know about 2020?

Lost Forest Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to take time to examine what I’ve done and what I can do better (Judgement), especially in the area of what I want from my business (Queen of Fire), and in which direction I want to push it in (Knight of Fire).

Take Away:  I very often associate my creative business with fire, as that is a huge part of where my inner spark and drive are directed.  It’s no different here, where the answer to what my mind wants me to know for the year ahead focuses upon that business.  This is a reminder to look back at the time that has passed and base my future momentum upon what has and has not worked rather than constantly focusing on what I want in the future.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do you feel you deserve?

Beautiful Creatures TarotReading Summary:  The desire for something better (Six of Swords) obtained through a combination of optimism (The Sun),  self possession and strength (The Emperor), collaboration with others (Three of Coins), and a nurturing warmth towards myself and others (The Empress).

Take Away:  What I see here are the elements that I feel I am not strong enough in.  Elements that are building blocks to a change for the better, but are not my strongest qualities.  Considering the question, the cards indicate I believe I deserve to be better at these particular qualities and, as a result, deserve for things to be better in my life because of them.

It is not realistic, of course, as you do not miraculously develop such qualities… you learn them and work at them.   They are something to strive for, not something to simply obtain.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: Three cards that pertain to my goals.  (Rephrased for specificity.)

The Arcana Tarot

Reading Summary:  Lots of appearances of the King of Wands over the past few days for me.   If I want to find a sense of balance between my struggle for security (Nine of Wands) and a sense of contentment (Nine of Cups), I need to work at embodying a more controlled attitude toward my passions and drive (King of Wands).

Take Away:  A lot of times my passions and drive, both for the creative aspects of my business as well as my business as a whole, cause me to push too hard.  This creates a sense of imbalance and defensiveness that does not at all foster a sense of contentment.  If I apply more control and mediation to my drive, I can find a better balance and feel more satisfaction with my work.



Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?


EarthPage of Swords, Elevate, and Be Careful Signing Contracts – Hmmmm… I wonder if my mortgage contract is coming up for renewal this week. I need to call the bank on Monday and check. I am also currently in the process of changing my medical insurance to a different provider. The cards are indicating something along these lines needs to be taken care of and re-evaluated to provide myself with a better position than the one I’m currently in.

AirThree of Wands, Ace of Swords, and You Are Not Alone in This Uncertain Place – I need to remember that even though I am feeling unbalanced and uncertain while reorganizing how I run things with the business, I have people around me who love me and are willing to provide help or support as needed. I don’t have to do it alone, and it’s okay to ask for help when needed.

WaterThe Moon and Not My Circus Not My Monkeys – Tend to your own garden and don’t let other people pull you into their chaos and drama. Allowing that will just cause confusion and lack of clarity.

AirAce of Pentacles, King of Swords, and The Enemy of Intuition is Self Doubt – Stay centered while on this new path with my ambition and passions, because you don’t want to allow self-doubt to filter in and screw with your perceptions and plans.

WaningLa Ruche et Surmenage – Don’t forget there is a life outside of work and running the business. It might feel like you’re not getting a lot done, but sometimes you need to take time to rest and step away, regroup and then come back fresh later on.

WaxingLa Tortue et Sagesse, L’anneau et Union – Wisdom and longevity in a solid and beneficial union. I definitely need to check on my mortgage contract and take a close and careful look at the new medical insurance package and contract.

Take Away – There’s going to be an element of self doubt and uncertainty in the week ahead and the plans I have been in the beginning stages of implementing to change some of the aspects of my business and work. It’ll be important to stay on track and pay close attention to my own issues and let others deal with their own shit this week rather than trying to help out.

Also, be sure to contact the bank to check on my mortgage contract, and take a close look at my new benefits package and make sure everything in there is as it should be and to my advantage.



Transitions and Changes

Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long, and I tried something new today.  As a part of my steps towards mediumship during my tarot practice, I settled in with a guided meditation concerning getting in contact with spirit guides.

This is something that many have made clear is an important step in the process, especially as a part of personal safety.    The problem?  I couldn’t focus.   I tried, but I just couldn’t do it.     I will try again another day, though.

Six of Swords - The Efflorescent TarotToday’s draw is the Six of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of transition, change, and letting go in the areas of intellect, communication, and challenges.

What I see here is sorrow.   I see the sharp and jagged teeth of the landscape behind her and the child in the boat, and the rough waters.  But she is moving away from these things.  Her face is filled with sorrow as she steers the boat upon its coarse

The appearance of the Six of Swords in today’s draw speaks of how difficult making the choice to make a change can be.  Change isn’t always something that falls in our lap or is inflicted upon us, sometimes it is a choice that requires leaving some people, places, things, or ways of thinking behind in order to move on to something better.

Today’s card is an encouragement concerning the renovations I am in the process of making to how I run my business this year.  It says… change is hard, but it will be worth it.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What does my body want me to know about 2020?

The Prediction Tarot

Reading Summary:  Stop allowing (The Emperor) my emotions and need to succeed (Queen of Cups beneath Page of Staves) hold me back from (The Moon) extending self care beyond the emotions and into the physical (The Empress)

Take Away:  The cards indicate that my body wants to elevate the way in which I care for it.   I spend a lot of time rounding out my self care in the spiritual and emotional side of things, but there is an aspect that I have not been focusing on, which is the physical side of things.  This is a request for more attention to be paid to how I treat my body and what my body needs.  In other words, “get off your ass and start eating healthier and going to the gym again”.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: How have you grown over the past year?

Tarot Cats

Reading Summary:  A deeper emotional connection (Two of Cups) and a new way of looking (Ace of Swords) at my struggles (Five of Wands) of the past (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  A lot of times when “past year” reflections come about I find that I have repeated the same lessons over again, either because it didn’t stick the first time or because I just didn’t grasp it the first time around.   This year I’ve done a number of things differently, including beginning to share my spirituality with Gideon, which has brought us much closer, as well as much deeper understanding of how past events in my life (negative experiences) have influenced my life and development.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: How can I set realistic goals?

The Textured Tarot

Reading Summary:  Remember to stay stable and grounded (The Emperor) when change comes (Death) because… there’s going to be a whole lot of ups and downs and change this year (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  Hello Wheel of Fortune once again.  As mentioned before, this is my birth card for the year.   The Emperor and the Death card indicate that it will be important when setting goals that I keep in mind just what kind of theme (ups and downs) this year has in store for me and create room in my plans for that possibility to manifest along the way.