Uncertainties in Self

Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a quiet and peaceful meditation where she didn’t do a lot of talking.   I enjoy these primarily because I really like the background music playing in the app.  In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I would love the opportunity to buy the music.

Essentially, the music is individual notes played lightly (and slowly) on a keyboard to some very subtle, barely audible EMDR-type musical flow in the background.  It’s very relaxing, and my mind seems to visualize it into an open plane of water (the background noise) with occasional drips falling into the smooth expanse to cause ripples (the piano notes).

I might need to contact the app creator and see if they can provide me with some information that might help me track down the artist.  It’s worth a try.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the guided meditation focused primarily on using meditation to better condition ourselves to be present in the moment, rather than spending too much time reflecting on the past or focused on the “what ifs” of the future.

Today’s draw is the Strength card, which I seem to be seeing a lot lately in my readings.  The Strength card’s traditional representations involve inner strength, outer strength, courage, persuasion and coercion.  It can also indicate raw emotion, self doubt, and a lack of energy.

I feel that it is in those alternate meanings that I find the message of today’s card.   The Strength card is telling me that it’s okay to be tired and take a rest now and then.  It doesn’t make you weak to take care of yourself and, sometimes, that means allowing for that time of rest and time to deal with the hint of rawness that is going on with me right now.

I think that it also correlates to the drop and helping you through it.  I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you down.  I really hope that I’m not letting you down. (Points to the self doubt aspect.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine feminine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Hermit card speaks of time alone and working on things on my own.  The Ace of Pentacles is a touch on manifestation and ‘new money’ and the Queen of Pentacles, juggling home life and work as well as giving myself time to self-nurture (which again ties around into the Hermit card).

Take Away:   Focus on my home business. My business is all about manifestation and creativity.  It involves a LOT of working on my own and I do a good deal of reflection during that time.  I find the creative process of manifesting ideas into a beautiful creation in reality to be soothing and invigorating, all at the same time.   The cards indicate if I want to honor my divine feminine side, this is the path to doing that.

Deck Used: Ludy Lescot Tarot

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?


EarthThe Star, Queen of Wands, and Hawthorn – I need to take some more time out in nature, connecting to the ancient spirits within the trees and the land itself. My body needs this connection, as does the ability to manifest my creativity into reality. Take some extra time out in nature this week, and connect with that energy that reaches beyond years and decades into centuries and millennia.

AirFive of Wands and Rosemary – This week is a good time to look back at past conflicts, and reflect on how far I have come since that time in my life. It is a time to remember how strong I am, and take a moment or two to acknowledge how those things that once tore me apart now are the bedrock that supports my stability now.

WaterJustice and River Otter – Seeking too much stability kills the joy. I’m someone that is constantly searching for stability in life, and that includes in my emotions. The river otter is a reminder that without a bit of swing in those scales, life becomes boring. Yes, there are times when things tip down, but the upswing can be worth the imbalance now and then.

FireKnight of Swords and Monarch Butterfly – Full steam ahead! But that said, be prepared when you step forward into your ambitions that you are bringing your past along on the trip this week. It may cause a few stumbling blocks to work through along the way, but in doing so there is potential for significant growth.

Moving Away FromBlossom – I should seek out nature during the beginning of the week in order to take advantage of the energies there and how they can assist me in my growth. As the week goes on, I will transition more that energy of progress and growth into…

Heading TowardAngelic – … a time when my focus will need to settle on caring for myself and bolstering my own self worth.

Take Away – I may feel a bit of uncertainty in the last half of the week, especially with all this stuff from the past coming up that is mentioned in the spread. Connecting to the past, not just my past but the energy of past generations, may trigger some need for healing, forgiveness, and letting go. It may also provide a catalyst for growth. Make sure to take time for myself, for nature, and to find joy in the world and those around me or I may risk sinking under the weight.

Decks Used: Talking to the Moon Tarot, Illustrated Bestiary Cards, Illustrated Herbiary Cards, Earthly Souls and Spirits Oracle 3rd Edition