Inspiring Changes

IMG_8792Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timing for my piriformis stretches.    The topic of today’s guided meditation was about envy.

I don’t really remember much of the actual guided meditation. I just remember that  it was about looking beyond what people have to the people themselves. Life isn’t about things, but about people after all.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - The TowerToday’s draw is the Tower card, which is traditionally a representation of sudden and sometimes violent change.  This isn’t the calm and steady organic change that comes with the Death card, but rather it is sudden and without warning.

When I drew this card this morning, I had thought the message was about tearing down old to make room for new, and perhaps it still means that… although considering what went on today and the racial slurs that are currently spray painted all over my car?  I’m thinking this could very well have been a warning, regardless of the fact that the question was about being provided with a positive message to provide perspective.

Perhaps… the perspective here is that we need to do some renovations on our security in the building so things like this are less likely to happen. I’ve spent time speaking with the police, and going through security cameras, etc.  Maybe once things have settled down it’s time to call a security meeting and look at making some changes for the better.

Sometimes crap ass shit has to happen in order to light a fire under the ass of change.  That’s today’s message.


LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
: Something I should know about my current passions/desires.

Magical Nordic Tarot

 Reading Summary: You’re going to have to move forward with patience (Knight of Pentacles) because you have a lot of conflict (Five of Wands) surrounding your feelings about the past (Six of Cups). Collaborative help from others (Three of Pentacles) will keep you moving forward and in control of your direction (The Chariot).

Take Away: This message is an echo of this morning’s bonus read.  It speaks of making sure I’m moving in the right direction by working with those I love and that want to support me.  It’s about allowing them to step in and keep me afloat when the influences of my past slip in to start screwing with my head and my heart. If I want to stay on track with my passions and desires, I can’t go it alone. I need the help of others to help keep me on track and healthy while I move forward at a slow and steady pace.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: How can you bring more of what you want into your world?

Tarot of the DivineReading Summary: Be clever and “beg borrow and steal” (Seven of Swords) all the positivity and fun you can get (The Sun). It’s about going after what inspires you (Knight of Wands) with forethought and strategy at your back (Page of Swords).

Take Away: Go after the fun.  Focus on those things that really “light my fire” and get me going.  Use my mind, my wit, and the full force of my skills, abilities, and faculties to go after those things that have the potential to bring positivity and fun into my life.

The key here is twofold.  First, that I put myself “all in” to going after these things.  And second, that I focus on those things that truly foster my happiness and positivity.


Morning Bonus Read – Authority Issues

I had to adjust this topic a bit (the original prompt is at the end of this post), as I do not have the urge to look to external sources of authority to tell me what to do. In fact, I have authority and control issues that cause me to rebel against such controlling behavior from other parties. The prompt mentioned that there are so many external authorities that there is a struggle in knowing who to listen to, etc. I have very few “authorities” over my actions… in fact even my employers are more collaborators than any form of authority figures.

SO… for this prompt. I am going to use the one single authority figure that -is- a part of my life, and with whom I have found a balance between authority and independence that works. That would be my partner, Gideon.

Cabinetarium Playing CardsWhere in my life do I benefit most from having an authority figure in my life?

Six of Spades atop Four of Diamonds – In helping me stay grounded and away from those things that are most harmful to me. I am self-destructive. Those tendencies sometimes rise up and whisper insidiously in my ear at the worst of times. Gideon is there in those times to help me stay on the right path, and does so in a way that doesn’t make me feel the searing sting of rebellion… such as when he made the request that I stop drinking.

Where could I use a better balance between his authority influences and my own need for independence?

Seven of Hearts – In my struggles to find balance and harmony by making the best choices for myself that I can. I need to consult with him more during these times when I am confronting these choices and get his input.  Not so much to give him the choice instead of me making it, but to make sure that I have his perspective and input on what the best choices available to me are.

How can I begin establishing that better balance?

Three of Clubs – Work more closely with him and I will be heading in the right direction.  I understood this from the card that previously came out concerning balance and his input. I need that input.  Sometimes? I really suck at turning to him when I need to.  It’s stupid and a part of those self destructive tendencies.

Why do I need this outside authoritative energy in my life?

Three of Diamonds – To counteract the poisonous influences of my upbringing by providing me with support.  It’s something I can’t do alone but needs to be worked on together.

How does this authority figure in my life influence my self-care?

Queen of Spades – He works with me and supports my self care goals by being “all in” with helping me to make them happen. He does not lord over me but works with me so I do not get my back up and rebel against that authority, making that authority less offensive in his approach.


Original Diviner’s Den Prompt: This week it was brought to my attention that I have trouble trusting myself to make good self care decisions– I tend to try to find some kind of external authority to validate my decisions on how much I should work, eat, rest, exercise, etc. The problem with this is that… There are SO MANY external authorities. This may not be an issue for you– if not, feel free to ignore or adjust this topic as necessary. But I know I’m not alone in this— if you would like, join me in my shadow work this week around this topic.
-Who/what do I look to as an authority on my daily choices (food, exercise, rest, worries, self care, etc)?
-Is there a healthier place to look to for those choices?
-What resources would I need in order to better trust myself to make self care decisions?
-This week, what is one self care choice I can trust myself to make well?

Look Around

Today’s meditation was another of the skipped days.  This means that I did not meditate and unfortunately I can’t remember why.  It’s a Friday, oh…. OH.   It’s because I left early to drive up north and get back at a reasonable time.  So I skipped it. 

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Six of WandsToday’s draw is the Six of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of accolades and public recognition of success… whether the obtainment of them, or the need for them.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is that the guy in the card is putting on his own crown.  There’s no one else in the card, just the guy and his crown and his big ass ego crowing with pride. 

The message that I see in this card has to do with not forgetting to look down.  Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that your personal perspective is just that… your personal perspective. This means when you’re feeling good sometimes you forget that not everyone is feeling good, and when you’re feeling like crap, not everyone else is feeling like crap.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own perspectives and forget to look around, especially when things are feeling intense or your ego is beating at its chest in a show of pride.  The message today is a reminder to look around and pay attention, and remember that although you are never alone… your personal perspectives are unique to you and only you.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: Draw or write something free-form inspired by the card(s).

Pamela Coleman Smith RWS TarotThere was once an old crone that lived at the edge of a small village and helped the residence with their woes.  She made teas and tinctures, herbal blends and salves and all sorts of good things… and sometimes bad things too.  She knew the secrets of how to heal and how to kill, and she listened to the troubles of those in the town with quiet patience before dolling out her gifts to those that sought her out for her secret knowledge. (The High Priestess)

One day on her way into town, the old woman was nearly trampled by a man on a horse.  When the horse reared up and hooves flew through the air, the man shouted his curses at the crone, insulting her with disparaging words and blaming her for the near-miss instead of taking responsibility for his own carelessness and lack of control. (The Chariot)

The old woman tsk’d at the brash man that was so course with his words and insulting in his attitude. She shook her head as she apologized to the man and offered him a gift to soothe his anger and pride. She provided the man with a talisman charmed for success, promising that as long as he wore it he would win every battle. Snatching up the talisman from her grasp, he looked it over and slid it on as she spoke words of success and victory and always managing to obtain just what he needs… and as he rode away she whispered after him “just what you need… but no more”. (Five of Swords)

From that day forth, the man would indeed win every battle and every challenge he put himself to… and yet he would never manage to obtain what he truly desired.  There would be no wealth… no full pantry or full coffers, no fine home or beautiful steeds.  For with every win he would get just what he needed in that moment… and no more than that.


Small Steps vs Grand Gestures

Today’s meditation was… oh hell I dunno.  I’m behind in getting my posts up by a few days and I don’t really remember what the meditation was for the 14th.  I’m pretty sure it was one of the days I skipped it though, as I seem to have skipped an entire four days in a row if my timer app can be believed (which, it can). So… yeah. 

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Seven of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Seven of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of delayed gratification, sustainability, and long term progress. Instant gratification this card is not, as all of the themes that this card has to do with involve waiting and the “long game”.

Again, what stands out to me the strongest in this deck is the words at the bottom of the card.   Not that I don’t find the artwork breathtaking, which I do… but the words say “Success Unfulfilled” which… seems a bit negative in connotation when the theme of this card is traditionally more about success being fulfilled over time.

Today’s card is a reminder to me that as I work through the orders that need to be done for shipping out tomorrow, I need to remember that this is the small work that growth is all about.  With every small bit of work, the progress becomes larger… and more.   And over time?  You find yourself at your goals and surpassing them.   But it takes time.   So take a breath and do the small work, and let things build over time.  Not everything has to be a grand gesture or massive action.


LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
: How can I best use my creative energy in support of my future self?

Occult TarotReading Summary: Lean your creative energy into your work (The Magician), and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by whims (Page of Cups Rx).

Take Away: When I’m not feeling particularly grounded, it’s really easy for me to end up distracted. Ideas and little side projects that catch my eye draw me away from my work, and then I struggle to get caught up with my work, etc.  It happens all the time.

The cards here indicate that if I want to use my creative energy in support of my future self, I need to make sure that I turn that creative energy back to my work again and again, taking the skills that I learn from those distractions and reinvesting them into my work.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: What is a really great idea you had but then forgot about?

Garnet Witch's TarotReading Summary: Shifting how I balance my responsibilities (Two of Pentacles) so that I can let some of the weight and responsibility (Magician) die out (Death), and make way for more emotional exploration (Ace of Cups).

Take Away: I wouldn’t say that I forgot about it.  Just… that it got put on the back burner while I was plowing my way through the holiday rush.

The weird thing (and current struggle where this is concerned) is that now that I’m on the other side of the holiday rush, I can’t remember what I was doing that made it feel like I was getting somewhere on this idea prior to the rush’s arrival.