Shedding Uncertainty

Today’s meditation was skipped due to an overwhelming urge to get out of bed and find my pain pills.  GOD FUCK I hurt today.  Just sayin’ but damn.  So yeah… I didn’t meditate.  I did extra physio instead in an effort to ease some of the tension in my muscles.

Friends Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, imagination, and intuition.

There’s really no one aspect in particular in the imagery of today’s card that stands out to me today except when I look closer.  Then, what stands out is kind blue eyes and a self-assured smirk.

Before meeting Gideon (my very own King of Cups), I had a but of an odd relationships with the court cards in the Cups suit.  Perhaps I still do.   But what I see here in this card is kindness and confidence.  Strength through knowing oneself and knowing others, and being able to see the inner urges and drive that causes people to react as they do. The maturity to understand these things, and react to them in a way that is both strong and yet gentle.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a gentle reminder to be kind and not allow uncertainty to get in the way and drag you down.

DECK USED:  FRIENDS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Sacred Self Divination Challenge Prompt
Question
: What more can I personally do in support of my best self?

Tarot of Baseball

Reading Summary: Keep working on your emotional growth (Ace of Gloves atop Eight of Balls). There isn’t an “end goal” or a battle to be won (Five of Caps) and looking at your growth in this manner will only make a mess of things (Justice).

Take Away:  I often have a habit of looking at things at a challenge with an end goal.  Even things that I shouldn’t…. like my emotional growth and delving into fostering my own emotional intelligence.  I’m still at the very beginning of this journey, and yet there are time when I fall into this mentality and have to check myself, remind myself that this is not a destination… it’s a journey.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF BASEBALL

#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Do Spread #3

Friends TarotYouAce of Cups – A carry over from the previous reading, here we see myself represented as the newly hatched egg of emotional growth.

Your GoalSeven of Swords – Sneaky shit.  I’m not going to spell it out here because it’s just a wee bit on the side of illegal, but suffice to say the contemplation of this sneaky shit has been ongoing.

What’s holding you back?Three of Wands – Lack of a definitive direction.  These goals go against the path I’ve chosen for myself and the moral compass that has directed my life from a young age.

Advice to overcome what’s holding you backThree of Swords Rx – Don’t do it.  Find another way.  Nothing good can come from moving forward with “the thing”.  Instead, find a better way that is more in line with my path and my moral compass. Turn things around so that the blades slide out instead of sinking in deeper.

DECK USED:  FRIENDS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I hung curtains today for my peace of mind.  It didn’t bother me much with the construction going on next door, until one of the drivers of the dump trucks waved at L through the window.   I then realized that shit was not quite as private as I thought it was, and with first construction workers and eventually apartments going up just across the alley from our windows, I feel it’s time.   So I hung curtains.  It was an ordeal and a huge pain in the ass (and back), but I’m happy with the results.

Morning Bonus Read – Self Value

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
This week, let’s take the time to value ourselves through our craft. Do a reading about why you are wonderful and worthy.

Atlantis Playing Cards Sink EditionWhat positive traits have I built up in myself?
Three of Diamonds atop Seven of Clubs

The ability to draw others into my cause when it’s something I really believe in. I may struggle with asking for help, but when I do finally ask?  It’s there.  Unquestioned and ready to go.  Every time.

What am I doing right to support myself?
Five of Diamonds

Keeping a close eye on my finances and making sure things are on track.  Sometimes, you can put such concerns on auto-pilot for a bit and let them take care of themselves. Right now, though, I’m feeling my scarcity issues and I’m being extra vigilant.

What am I doing right to support my loved ones?
Queen of Diamonds

Being supportive.  (Seriously.  That’s the answer.  *LOL*) I’m stepping up to provide an ear and a shoulder, to give my loved ones someone to come to that understands where they’re coming from, and supporting them (namely by welcoming them to live in my home)… even if it’s a bit inconvenient and uncomfortable for me.

Where have I made progress recently that deserves to be acknowledged?
King of Hearts

I’ve been able to spend more time with Gideon lately.  I’ve gone out of my way to make time to make sure I get some time with him, whether that’s just chatting or in play.

What good things do others see in me?
Ten of Clubs atop Nine of Clubs

That I’m willing to work myself to the bone for what I believe is important, and to protect what’s mine.  Although I’ve gone through a number of hard and painful experiences in life, I don’t give up, even when I’m feeling overwhelmed and about to buckle under the weight of it all.

DECK USED:  ATLANTIS PLAYING CARDS SINK EDITION

Morning Bonus Read – Solar Plexus Energy

Wild Wolf Tarot - Solar Plexus Chakra Tarot Spread

My solar plexus center’s energy right now.
Alpha of Leaders (Honor)

Now that you am completely out of your depressive episode, you can feel the leadership role sliding back into place and the control is both comforting and familiar.  You are no longer overwhelmed, but self assured in your role in your home and in the business, and are sure-footed in moving forward once more.

Tension I’m currently holding in this area.
The Lone Wolf (Inner Guidance)

You’re not getting out into the woods enough.  You’re not getting enough alone time.  It’s causing some tension that a bit of time alone exerting yourself among the trees could help you to release.

How I can release this tension.
Two of Hunters (Adaptability)

Listen to what your body, mind, and intuition are telling you.  Don’t plow through and ignore your needs, but instead work at making time for them and finding a balance between responsibility and self care.  Only with planning and adaptability will you be able to find a way to balance your life’s different aspects.

How I can improve my mental clarity.
Alpha of Watchers (Intellectual)

Pay attention and take responsibility for claiming that mental clarity. Actions speak volumes, and if you want to improve your mental clarity you need to actually take control and make it happen instead of allowing yourself to sink into the comfortable “slumber” of brain fog and indulging in habits that encourage a sluggish mentality.

 How I can improve my self-confidence.
Three of Hunters (Collaboration)

Allow those around you that are a part of your endeavors to have more say and more responsibility in the endeavors in question.  In doing this, you hand a piece of your trust to them, and gain a bit of time for yourself.

 What will change when I improve my self-confidence.
Seven of Caretakers (Illusion)

What you truly desire will come into clearer focus as your self-confidence improves.  Steady footing leads to clearer vision, and that vision will allow you to better identify and go after those things that really matter.

DECK USED:  WILD WOLF TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Help From Spirit

Help From Spirit Tarot Spread - Stitches Lenormand

What is spirit helping me with?

Moon – Connecting to your intuition and learning about your emotions is where spirit is leaning in to help at this time.  You are on a journey of emotional growth and, with that growth, comes an intensifying and expansion of your intuitive gifts. You need to remember that these things are connected, no matter how familiar trying to separate them is for you.

Why are they helping me with this?

Bouquet – They want you to be happy.  Truly happy.  This card is about the recovery and sense of lighthearted positivity that comes after someone has weathered a storm. Although my life is filled with many painful lessons, they want me to be able to truly absorb and enjoy the good and allow it to uplift the soul.

What does spirit want me to release to them?

Tree – The past and the pain that lives there.  It can pollute your life, creating imbalance and health problems as you allow it to do so, or it can be released. Let go.  Handed over to spirit and heal thyself in having done so.

How releasing something to them will help me.

Ring – You will be given the balance needed to make better decisions concerning your commitments and responsibilities. Less stress and less pain can often lead to greater clarity and sharper mental acuity.  This in turn allows you to make more informed and better thought out decisions concerning what you’re willing to commit to and agree to, and makes it easier to say no when something doesn’t fit your needs.

How can I better hear and listen to messages from spirit?

Mountain – Stop being so fucking stubborn and open up already. Find the issues that are causing you to put up obstacles in the way between the closer connection you’re looking for and what you have now.  Delve into those issues and begin removing what’s standing in your way.

How can I trust that Spirit is with me?

Crossroads – Trust is a choice.  If you want to trust, you have to be willing to make the decision to do just that. Although Spirit is always with you, it is only through making the choice to trust, to listen, and to accept… that doors will open for you.

DECK USED:  STITCHES LENORMAND