Clarity and Solid Footing

IMG_E3044Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I spent the meditation first taking time to focus upon my breath, and then expanded my focus to the expansion and contraction of my personal energy, allowing my energy to stretch outward further and further, then pulling it back in again in slow increments.   It is a bit like stretching, but for your energy instead of your body.

I then pulled my energy back in and spent a bit of extra time breathing through the tension in my hip as I worked on my piriformis stretches. I might have to step up my yoga/physiotherapy a bit, as I’m not getting as much physical activity as I’m used to and I feel like it’s starting to effect my mobility a bit.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is the “Cultivating Courage” card from the Healing Mantra Deck.

I really liked this part of the message from the book for this deck.  It says that when you cultivate your courage, it helps you in pinpointing what your best options are when moving along your path, and that “Such options may not always match up with the things you want, but they will always give you the exact experiences you need to further evolve your soul.”

I think that’s a really good way to look at things.  We can’t always have what we want, and sometimes the viable choices in front of you just plain suck. But with inner strength and courage, you can decisively make decisions even when those decisions aren’t ideal.  That courage helps you to not shirk away… and allows you to make decisions with a clear mind rather than making choices out of fear or emotional reactivity.


#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
: How can I use current opportunities to take back control of my body issues? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Considerate Cat Tarot

Reading Summary: Move away from the negative shit (Six of Swords) and take some time for inner reflection (The Hermit) so that I can then move forward into the future open to new adventures (Son of Wands).

Take Away:  I’ve gotten this exact same answer before from a very similar question. This is a continuation on the theme of taking this time of seclusion and lockdown to prepare and plan for a better time.  To get my ducks in a row, and get in touch with what I want and need for the future so that once the restrictions lift I am prepared to move forward with those things that are important to me that I want to grow into something bigger and better.


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do I need to focus on for self care during this full moon?

Isidore Tarot

Reading Summary:  Have a little fun (The Fool), but make sure I’m not procrastinating (Eight of Wands) on anything related to my resources (Ace of Coins)

Take Away:  I have a habit of taking things a bit too seriously more often than not, and that includes taking myself a bit too seriously.   The cards indicate I need to try and lighten up a bit, but not so much that I lose track of the very important responsibilities I have at the moment concerning our (at home) resources and foundational stability.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: When will I be good enough?

Bunny Tarot

Reading Summary:  You’re already there, you idiot.  (Well thank you very much, cute little bunnies. *LOL*)

I have all the tools (Magician) and a substantial amount of curiosity (Page of Cups) to go with those tools.  I’m not shy about going after what I want or feel (Knight of Cups) and have a secret treasure trove of stability to help keep things balanced (Four of Coins).

Take Away:  I was expecting the cards to tell me somewhere I need to work on improvement to get to that “good enough” status.  Instead it called me out for not appreciating what I already have.   I’m already good enough and need to pay more attention to the positive aspects of myself, rather than focusing on the negative and nitpicking it to death.


#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How do I contribute to the collective?


Reading Summary:  I point out what isn’t sustainable (Seven of Coins) and help in creating a better plan(Three of Wands) to carry things forward using a more stable (page of Coins) and judicious perspective (King of Swords).

Take Away:  I contribute to others by helping people in finding a sustainable direction forward along their path, no matter what the topic or path might be.   This is truly a joy for me to be able to provide this perspective for others and help them in finding a way forward that works for them and feels right for them.


Motivations and Methods

IMG_3558Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was along the same theme as yesterday’s meditation, which is to say that it focused upon finding calm in the storm.

As yesterday’s focused upon where to look within yourself to find a center, this one focused upon how to reject the mental chaos of events and situations that create the opportunity for that chaos to invade and conquer.

The meditation spoke about the importance of regular meditation practice in order to prepare the mind for when these situations arise, so that we are more able to use the tools that meditation helps you develop to stay calm and centered when that is most needed.

Four of Brine - Four of Cups - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Brine (Four of Cups) which is traditionally a representation of stability and/or stagnancy in the area of one’s emotions and relationships.  This often translates into themes involving taking time to reassess one’s emotions and/or ignoring outside influences and turning inward towards those emotions.

My interpretation of this card touches upon that theme but is a bit different as well, which is probably not much of a surprise.  What I see in the imagery of this card today is the python changeling accepting the gift of the persimmons from the monkeys in the trees… rather than preying on the monkeys themselves.

This speaks to me of reassessing one’s motives and motivations, and factoring in one’s emotions into that process of reflection. It speaks about finding a better way, and possibly letting others in to allow them to help you in finding that better way of doing things.  The cards indicate I will benefit from allowing others input to assist me in finding a “better way” today.


#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
: What part of that is within my power to change at this time? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Forager's Daughter Tarot

Reading Summary: I need to actually get a plan in place (Ace of Pentacles), even if it’s not actionable until later on.  In this way I can take control of the situation when the opportunity is presented to me (Queen of Wands) and reap the benefits of being ready (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Well there you go. Like with my business, this stagnancy with my physical body is another area where I will benefit from having a plan set in place before restrictions lift. By preparing and having a plan in place, I can then hit the ground running with solid footing when the opportunity is presented, and reap the rewards of that preparedness.


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: How can I obtain better clarity in order to move past those obstacles? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Fairy Lights TarotReading Summary:  Don’t allow bad habits and pessimism (left card) to overtake my sense of hope and wonder (middle card… note the bleed of color from the left card).  This too shall pass (right card… match of birds to the shades of color from the left card and bleed into the middle).

Take Away:  Pessimism is the biggest and most persistent of all my bad habits.  I say that it is a bad habit not because pessimism can’t be healthy, but because it can so easily fall into being unhealthy in my case.   The cards indicate that I need to take time and care in fostering my sense of hope and optimism so that my natural inclination towards pessimism doesn’t take over and pollute everything.

The last card is a reassurance that I often use for myself when going through a depression episode, which is to remind myself that nothing lasts forever.  The things I am struggling with now won’t last forever either.  It is a reminder to look for the light at the end of the tunnel and hold onto that hope and optimism, because even the dark times pass so it’s important to not allow them to drag you down any longer than necessary.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What do I want right now?

New Liminal Tarot

Reading Summary: A blend of new perspectives and new ideas combined together in a balanced, calm, and hopeful way (Temperance).

Take Away:  There is a hint in the flow in how these cards communicate with each other in reference to the colors.  Each of the two left cards is separate from the other, but elements of color from each blend into the Temperance card on the right. This speaks to me about developing both separately (taking in new perspectives, and the development of new ideas)… and then combining them together in a balanced manner.


#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What is my spiritual gift?


Intuitive Interpretation and Notes:

The flow of color in these cards indicates a fierceness and passion in the defense of others that comes from the heart.

The transition to water from left to right (choppy seas to calm waters to frozen crystals upon the pond at the figure’s feet) speaks of a need for balance and calm in all things, even in times of conflict. 

Charging into the fray and chaos (the two left cards speak of chaos in the first and fearless confrontation through the knight on the lion in the right) with a calm heart and mind (the center card is filled with warmth but also with a good deal of tranquility is translated through calm waters and the presence of the white stag) in order to foster and protect others (the right card portrays a figure protecting a more helpless figure in the cradle of their arms with cool waters, calming colors, and ice crystals portraying a sense of balanced calm).

Take Away:  The spiritual gift that the cards are referring to here is my need to champion helpless and those that are treated unfairly.  I have a very strong need for balance in my life and an extremely demanding moral compass that requires fair treatment for all and a certain level of respect for all.

When my moral compass triggers due to witnessing the lack of fair treatment of those unable to defend themselves, I have a need to stand up and add my voice to bolster and protect them, and have no issue with stepping forward into the spotlight (or chaos) at those times to right that perceived imbalance.



Finding Calm and Balance

IMG_3517Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused on how you find your center when in meditation, especially during trying times when meditation is hard to focus on in general.

A lot of meditation focuses upon the breath.  This is because the breath is very easy to focus on.   But sometimes, people have other things that are easier.  For me, although I keep my breath smooth and steady during meditation, what I really focus on the majority of the time is my solar plexus and the sensations going on in there.

This location is the seat of my intuition and my “soul” and so it is a very sensitive area that swirls with a variety of different sensations, emotions, and esoteric feelings.  It is the easiest place for me to focus.

In today’s meditation, you were encouraged to find that place that is easiest to focus upon, and remember to always come back to that place (whether it is the breath, or a part of the body… etc) when you begin to become distracted during your meditative practice… and outside of it when you are presented with chaos in day to day life.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is “Balancing the Brain” from the Healing Mantra Deck.  I’m not sure this is a good message for me, to be honest. At least not how it is phrased on the back of the card.

The concept of the card is good, though, which is to say that from reading the passage in the book, what the card is trying to express is that you do not have to sacrifice the self (or self care) in order to get things done that need to be done.

This message (as opposed to the first impression from the words on the card) is something that I relate to a lot more, as I often struggle with balancing the self (and self care) with my responsibilities and how much I pile on my plate.

The message here is in the imagery on the front side of the card.  The misty calming background and the three spheres.  It’s a reminder to seek out calm and balance in all things, and not let myself get so carried away with responsibilities that caring for myself starts to stray off to the wayside.


#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
: Root Cause (built off yesterday’s cards)

Marshmallow Marseilles Tarot

Reading Summary:  My “go get’em” (Knight of Wands) has been stolen (Seven of Swords) by a need for other self care (Empress).

Take Away:  This is pretty much what I said yesterday.  I went through chemotherapy and three surgeries with my “adventure” with cancer.  That stole away my ability to do the work I needed to do with respects to keeping my weight up… and probably also stole away some of my enthusiasm in that department as well. 


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: What illusions or false impressions are holding me back?

The Rabbit Tarot

Reading Summary:  The feeling that I’m going to end up losing everything important to me (two left cards) is creating a lack of direction (center card) that can be addressed by allowing myself to open up even more to new perspectives and take the time to really reflect on those perspectives as I receive them (two right cards).

Take Away:  I am always interested in new perspectives and I find it the most positive way for me to learn about people as a whole.  The cards indicate that what’s holding me back is that I’m still falling into a bit of a catastrophic mindset… and if I want to defeat that I need to open up more to the perspectives of others that lift me up and allow myself to internalize their messages more.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What builds my confidence?

Isidore Tarot

Reading Summary:  New passion projects (Ace of Wands) that allow me not just to delve into a project but include other’s input into them (Three of Cups) as well, so that it becomes less about me and more about balancing into things the contribution from many (Six of Coins).

Take Away:  As much as I love my passions and projects, what really makes them special is when I can get input from others along the way.  Doing something completely on my own without that input is a little too much seclusion in the process, and the end result ends up with me I feeling a bit hesitant about offering the finished project for public consumption.


#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I feel more grounded at this time?


Reading Summary:  Nurture and validate your emotions and feelings of contentment (first two cards) and lean into the strength of your skills and abilities (center card) so that you can help yourself in lifting up your optimism instead of allowing it to be smothered by bad habits (last two cards).

Take Away:  The path to finding a better level of grounding at this time is to foster optimism with in myself.  This is not my strong suit by any means, and the cards have given me a path to finding that optimism by making sure I am being nurturing and validating to my emotions and focusing on the things that allow me to feel content and happy.  One of the ways to do that is to make sure I’m leaning into the skills and abilities that I have confidence in.



Finding the Calm

IMG_3496Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon finding calm in the midst of chaos, and how mindfulness and meditation can help you in finding that calm.

Mindfulness meditation is, at its very core, a way to train your brain.  People that let their thoughts and worries run away with them, or suffer from anxiety, or have a hard time getting their brain to just shut up…. mindfulness meditation is the exercise and training that can help in overcoming these issues, because it essentially trains you to find that calm and quiet place.

It isn’t about “doing it right” or being “good at it”.  Just the act of trying helps start that training process and gives your brain the exercise it needs to begin learning how to find that calm.  I didn’t understand this when I first started mindfulness meditations, but I get it now.

I’m far from “perfect” at being calm and silent and still and not allowing thoughts to intrude in my meditation…. but I am absolutely flawless at now *catching* myself when that happens and doing the mental “push up” of returning back to silent calm.  Sometimes, I have to do that mental “push up” countless times in those ten minutes or so that I meditate for.  Sometimes, I only have to do it once or twice.   But the fact is?  I’m still doing it… and that’s what counts.

Queen of Brine - Queen of Cups - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Queen of Brine (Queen of Cups) which is typically interpreted as a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of relationships and emotions.

What I see in the imagery of today’s card is the abundance of motion that swirls around the center figure.  So much life and so much chaos, and yet she is calm and steady amidst it all.

The message here is an echo of what I’ve written above concerning meditation and finding that inner calm.   Sometimes you get swept up in the chaos of life, but it’s important to take the time to pause and touch upon that inner source of calm.  It’s there, but sometimes we have to teach ourselves how to reach for it… and remember to then do so when we need it.

The message here in today’s card is a reminder to do my meditation and put my all into it instead of just going through the motions. Being dedicated to the task will strengthen the ability to more easily touch upon that calm when it is needed most.


#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
: Current state of body.

ETA Tarot

Reading Summary: I want to get back to that place that I was at before (Six of Pentacles), but I’m having trouble fitting the changes into my life (Two of Pentacles) and so I am feeling quite stagnant and stuck in place (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I want to get back to that place that I was at before the cancer and chemotherapy upended everything. To do this, though, requires weight training combined with a specific diet heavy in protein and carbs.  At this time, I’m having trouble fitting the type of exercise I would need (not to mention the amount of food I would need to consume) into my life.  Because of this, I am feeling quite stagnant and stuck in place where my body is concerned.


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: What difficult truth about the human condition I am ignoring?

Shadowland TarotIntuitive Interpretation:  Most people crave love to the point that they’re willing to do damned near anything for it… but turn their back on it when it’s offered freely without them having to put in the effort to earn it or if it doesn’t live up to the ideal in their head.

Take Away:  I don’t actually have a whole lot of experience when it comes to matters of the heart and people trying to hand you their heart.  Just one, actually.   That said?  I do a good amount of observing of others and the read above from the cards seems pretty accurate.  I see truly amazing people offering their heart on their sleeves to others all the time and being turned away for what seem to be purely superficial reasons or simply because there was no challenge in getting that love. 

I see it, but I choose to ignore it. Because it is frustrating and flabbergasting to see it happen again and again, and yet those constantly turning their back on these offers complain about being alone and unloved. It is a pattern that becomes disheartening if observed and acknowledged too often.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What takes my confidence away?

Universal Celtic Tarot

Reading Summary: When I find myself on uncertain footing stability wise and am not giving myself enough self care to keep things balanced.

Take Away:  Both the Ace and the Page are cards that indicating a beginning.  During these times when a new start is before me, there’s a feeling of uncertainty and newness that can set me off kilter, especially if that uncertainty and newness is in the area of my financial security and home stability.  The cards indicate that at those times, a little self nurturing can go a long way in bolstering my self confidence, but even then, the struggle is still present, just concealed a bit by a blanket of warmth.


#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to bring into my life to nourish my growth?


Reading Summary:  Be less miserly (Four of Pentacles) with my praise (Six of Wands) and foster good feels (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  By finding ways to connect with others and foster their growth, I in turn foster my own growth.    I have noticed this lately in my interaction with others.  I feel a bit less awkward in interacting with others, and even seem to catch humor and jokes more often than I have in the past. This is emotional and social growth for me, which is pretty impressive in my opinion… especially concerning the amount of social awkwardness that I have spent the majority of my life experiencing.