Shedding Uncertainty

Today’s meditation was skipped due to an overwhelming urge to get out of bed and find my pain pills.  GOD FUCK I hurt today.  Just sayin’ but damn.  So yeah… I didn’t meditate.  I did extra physio instead in an effort to ease some of the tension in my muscles.

Friends Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, imagination, and intuition.

There’s really no one aspect in particular in the imagery of today’s card that stands out to me today except when I look closer.  Then, what stands out is kind blue eyes and a self-assured smirk.

Before meeting Gideon (my very own King of Cups), I had a but of an odd relationships with the court cards in the Cups suit.  Perhaps I still do.   But what I see here in this card is kindness and confidence.  Strength through knowing oneself and knowing others, and being able to see the inner urges and drive that causes people to react as they do. The maturity to understand these things, and react to them in a way that is both strong and yet gentle.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a gentle reminder to be kind and not allow uncertainty to get in the way and drag you down.

DECK USED:  FRIENDS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Sacred Self Divination Challenge Prompt
Question
: What more can I personally do in support of my best self?

Tarot of Baseball

Reading Summary: Keep working on your emotional growth (Ace of Gloves atop Eight of Balls). There isn’t an “end goal” or a battle to be won (Five of Caps) and looking at your growth in this manner will only make a mess of things (Justice).

Take Away:  I often have a habit of looking at things at a challenge with an end goal.  Even things that I shouldn’t…. like my emotional growth and delving into fostering my own emotional intelligence.  I’m still at the very beginning of this journey, and yet there are time when I fall into this mentality and have to check myself, remind myself that this is not a destination… it’s a journey.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF BASEBALL

#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Do Spread #3

Friends TarotYouAce of Cups – A carry over from the previous reading, here we see myself represented as the newly hatched egg of emotional growth.

Your GoalSeven of Swords – Sneaky shit.  I’m not going to spell it out here because it’s just a wee bit on the side of illegal, but suffice to say the contemplation of this sneaky shit has been ongoing.

What’s holding you back?Three of Wands – Lack of a definitive direction.  These goals go against the path I’ve chosen for myself and the moral compass that has directed my life from a young age.

Advice to overcome what’s holding you backThree of Swords Rx – Don’t do it.  Find another way.  Nothing good can come from moving forward with “the thing”.  Instead, find a better way that is more in line with my path and my moral compass. Turn things around so that the blades slide out instead of sinking in deeper.

DECK USED:  FRIENDS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I hung curtains today for my peace of mind.  It didn’t bother me much with the construction going on next door, until one of the drivers of the dump trucks waved at L through the window.   I then realized that shit was not quite as private as I thought it was, and with first construction workers and eventually apartments going up just across the alley from our windows, I feel it’s time.   So I hung curtains.  It was an ordeal and a huge pain in the ass (and back), but I’m happy with the results.

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Future Ancestor Tarot, Warwick Oracle, Oracle of the Dragonfae

EarthStudent of Needles and Choice – Make the choice to learn new skills. Make the choice to yield to authority.  For god sake, make the choice to DO YOUR FUCKING TAXES already.  This is always a very “in your head” activity that makes you feel like an idiot and a novice every single year.  But you need to get your ass in gear and get it done.  Now.

AirThe Alchemist and Fear –  You have all the tools and knowledge you need in order to get “the thing” done.  Stop avoiding and sidestepping out of the discomfort of fear and just do it already.

WaterThree of Seeds and Discover – You can help alleviate some of the emotional issues putting this off for so long is creating by bringing in help. You’ll be surprised just how much they can help in making task that you need to get done this week less painful for you. It’s okay to ask for help, even in this.

FireTen of Needles and Nobility – You feel overwhelmed, and that is entirely due to this issue of trying to take on this task all on your own and keeping the stress and work of the process from others.  You think you’re protecting them in the process, but you’re really just hurting yourself and your business.

WaningThe Blue Lady (Nothing is Impossible) – Come down to earth and put away unrealistic expectations. There really are indeed impossible things in life and you need to get in touch with that side of things and look at things realistically right now.  Be practical.

WaxingThe Lady Grian (Open Your Heart) – When you open your heart, you let people in.  You also allow them to know the secret things you try to hide like worries and fears, burden and struggle.  Now is a time to open up.  Let others close to you know what’s going on.   ASK for help instead of shutting them out.

Take Away – This reading is about my taxes and the need to get them done.  I can file an extension, but if I do I’m not really helping myself at all, just prolonging the agony and dread of having to get them done.  The cards here indicate NOW is the time, and I need to do it.  I have to get it done, and I need to get help from the girls to get everything together and finished.

DECKS USED:  FUTURE ANCESTOR TAROT, WARWICK ORACLE, ORACLE OF THE DRAGONFAE

Morning Bonus Read – Self Value

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
This week, let’s take the time to value ourselves through our craft. Do a reading about why you are wonderful and worthy.

Atlantis Playing Cards Sink EditionWhat positive traits have I built up in myself?
Three of Diamonds atop Seven of Clubs

The ability to draw others into my cause when it’s something I really believe in. I may struggle with asking for help, but when I do finally ask?  It’s there.  Unquestioned and ready to go.  Every time.

What am I doing right to support myself?
Five of Diamonds

Keeping a close eye on my finances and making sure things are on track.  Sometimes, you can put such concerns on auto-pilot for a bit and let them take care of themselves. Right now, though, I’m feeling my scarcity issues and I’m being extra vigilant.

What am I doing right to support my loved ones?
Queen of Diamonds

Being supportive.  (Seriously.  That’s the answer.  *LOL*) I’m stepping up to provide an ear and a shoulder, to give my loved ones someone to come to that understands where they’re coming from, and supporting them (namely by welcoming them to live in my home)… even if it’s a bit inconvenient and uncomfortable for me.

Where have I made progress recently that deserves to be acknowledged?
King of Hearts

I’ve been able to spend more time with Gideon lately.  I’ve gone out of my way to make time to make sure I get some time with him, whether that’s just chatting or in play.

What good things do others see in me?
Ten of Clubs atop Nine of Clubs

That I’m willing to work myself to the bone for what I believe is important, and to protect what’s mine.  Although I’ve gone through a number of hard and painful experiences in life, I don’t give up, even when I’m feeling overwhelmed and about to buckle under the weight of it all.

DECK USED:  ATLANTIS PLAYING CARDS SINK EDITION

Morning Bonus Read – Solar Plexus Energy

Wild Wolf Tarot - Solar Plexus Chakra Tarot Spread

My solar plexus center’s energy right now.
Alpha of Leaders (Honor)

Now that you am completely out of your depressive episode, you can feel the leadership role sliding back into place and the control is both comforting and familiar.  You are no longer overwhelmed, but self assured in your role in your home and in the business, and are sure-footed in moving forward once more.

Tension I’m currently holding in this area.
The Lone Wolf (Inner Guidance)

You’re not getting out into the woods enough.  You’re not getting enough alone time.  It’s causing some tension that a bit of time alone exerting yourself among the trees could help you to release.

How I can release this tension.
Two of Hunters (Adaptability)

Listen to what your body, mind, and intuition are telling you.  Don’t plow through and ignore your needs, but instead work at making time for them and finding a balance between responsibility and self care.  Only with planning and adaptability will you be able to find a way to balance your life’s different aspects.

How I can improve my mental clarity.
Alpha of Watchers (Intellectual)

Pay attention and take responsibility for claiming that mental clarity. Actions speak volumes, and if you want to improve your mental clarity you need to actually take control and make it happen instead of allowing yourself to sink into the comfortable “slumber” of brain fog and indulging in habits that encourage a sluggish mentality.

 How I can improve my self-confidence.
Three of Hunters (Collaboration)

Allow those around you that are a part of your endeavors to have more say and more responsibility in the endeavors in question.  In doing this, you hand a piece of your trust to them, and gain a bit of time for yourself.

 What will change when I improve my self-confidence.
Seven of Caretakers (Illusion)

What you truly desire will come into clearer focus as your self-confidence improves.  Steady footing leads to clearer vision, and that vision will allow you to better identify and go after those things that really matter.

DECK USED:  WILD WOLF TAROT