Connected and Open

Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes long, and a continuation on the managing stress series that I have been listening to for the past few days.  Today’s take on the topic dealt with sitting with discomfort rather than running away from it.

This is a technique I learned in pain management, but it works for emotions and other situations as well.  Most stresses will pass if given time to do so, and those that don’t, you will adapt to.  It’s difficult to sit with discomfort, though, rather than trying to fix it or run from it.  It takes practice and effort… and sometimes even then, it’s just not something that’s easy to accomplish.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is a double with a jumper, and it was very sneaky about it too (because usually if I get more than two? I put them back for a lesser amount).  The two jumped out together, but were so very aligned that they looked like one, then the third jumper came out off to the side.   When I then went to pick up the original card, I discovered there was another one hiding behind it.

SO…. the cards in today’s draw are the Ace of Cups and the World card, with the Hermit as the jumper.

And oh boy… this is all about our time together.  It’s about that new and budding depth of emotion  and how it feels all-encompassing, which is referenced in the Ace of Cups and the World card.  There is a connectedness and an other-worldliness that comes with the drown, and especially as deeply as I have drowned with you this time.  It creates a sort of sensation like a caterpillar wrapping itself into a cocoon, the inside saturated with the water of emotions bright and fresh and open and everywhere.

At some point that cocoon will open, though, and I will need to come out for air.   The Hermit is a reminder that I’m not alone, even if that is where my temptation to run and hide.   You create this space where my emotions are open and I feel connected to everything… I need you for what comes after as well, no matter how much my natural instinct is to retreat into myself.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I deal more effectively with change?

Twisted Tarot TalesReading Summary: Although my temptation is to self soothe through excess (The Empress) while lashing out at others (Justice), or hide from responsibility (The Fool) by running away (Six of Swords), often the best course of action I can take is to submit (Eight of Swords) and let that shit just roll over me, chew me up, and spit me out.

Take Away: Change is inevitable, and the temptations that I feel to self-destruct during those times are natural but not helpful.  It’s important to avoid falling into those traps, and instead focus on rolling with the change and letting it happen, rather than fighting it or thrashing against it mentally or emotionally.

Deck Used: Twisted Tarot Tales

Uncertainties in Self

Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a quiet and peaceful meditation where she didn’t do a lot of talking.   I enjoy these primarily because I really like the background music playing in the app.  In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I would love the opportunity to buy the music.

Essentially, the music is individual notes played lightly (and slowly) on a keyboard to some very subtle, barely audible EMDR-type musical flow in the background.  It’s very relaxing, and my mind seems to visualize it into an open plane of water (the background noise) with occasional drips falling into the smooth expanse to cause ripples (the piano notes).

I might need to contact the app creator and see if they can provide me with some information that might help me track down the artist.  It’s worth a try.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the guided meditation focused primarily on using meditation to better condition ourselves to be present in the moment, rather than spending too much time reflecting on the past or focused on the “what ifs” of the future.

Today’s draw is the Strength card, which I seem to be seeing a lot lately in my readings.  The Strength card’s traditional representations involve inner strength, outer strength, courage, persuasion and coercion.  It can also indicate raw emotion, self doubt, and a lack of energy.

I feel that it is in those alternate meanings that I find the message of today’s card.   The Strength card is telling me that it’s okay to be tired and take a rest now and then.  It doesn’t make you weak to take care of yourself and, sometimes, that means allowing for that time of rest and time to deal with the hint of rawness that is going on with me right now.

I think that it also correlates to the drop and helping you through it.  I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you down.  I really hope that I’m not letting you down. (Points to the self doubt aspect.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine feminine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Hermit card speaks of time alone and working on things on my own.  The Ace of Pentacles is a touch on manifestation and ‘new money’ and the Queen of Pentacles, juggling home life and work as well as giving myself time to self-nurture (which again ties around into the Hermit card).

Take Away:   Focus on my home business. My business is all about manifestation and creativity.  It involves a LOT of working on my own and I do a good deal of reflection during that time.  I find the creative process of manifesting ideas into a beautiful creation in reality to be soothing and invigorating, all at the same time.   The cards indicate if I want to honor my divine feminine side, this is the path to doing that.

Deck Used: Ludy Lescot Tarot

Choices and Hindsight

Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and the majority of the guided meditation was a full body scan from head to toes.

I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite types of meditation, as it allows me to do a check-in with myself and my body while I meditate.

That check-in helps me better figure out what needs tending as far as scarring, flexibility, and residual issues from injuries are concerned.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together without a jumper.  I switched decks for the alternate to combine with the Halloween Tarot, as I feel that the one I was using has a bit more of a November feel, so it will make a reappearance next month.

The cards in today’s draw are the Strength card, and the Two of Swords.

When I look at these cards, what I see is the message that sometimes you have to make the hard choices, but that you are strong enough to do so, and have the inner strength to adapt to the results and consequences that come after these choices are made.

It is a message about standing by your choices once they are made, more than which choices to make along the way.  It is about standing by your decisions once these decisions have been made, and not just riding out the aftermath of what comes from those decisions but making the aftermath work for you.

I think that this is a really important message to take to heart.   Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we look back later and say “oh geez, I should have done this instead.”   But the fact is, that is in the past and the past isn’t what you have to deal with.   It’s the present that’s now at your feet and needs your time.

Traditional representations for the Strength card are inner strength, persuasion and/or coercion, compassionate influence over others, and courage.  As a Major Arcana card, this card deals with the “big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human condition.

The Two of Swords is traditionally a representation of duality, unions, division, and partnerships in the area of thought, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.  This means that it deals with topics such as decision making and choices, as well as indecision and confusion.

Deck Used: The Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I like them this month, and I have so many decks that are perfect for the month of October that I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: What can I do to better improve my relationship with my body?

Reading Summary: The Five of Wands speaks to me of needing more physical activity.  The Three of Cups means that I will do better along that path if I do it with a friend.  The Knight of Pentacles indicates I may need to spend a bit of money along the way, which to me reads as a gym membership component.

Take Away:   I need to start going to the gym with J again. Ok so… Although this is an answer that I knew already in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect it to be the answer that came up for some reason.   The truth is, though.   I do need to start going to the gym again.  Between the cancer, and other stresses that have come through my life since then, I never managed to gain back the weight I lost during my cancer treatments.  From experience, I know that I don’t do gym time well if I have to go it alone.  I need the distraction and motivation of having someone else there.   I also know through experience that if I don’t work out, I’ll never gain the weight back.  If I want it back, it has to be through muscle weight, because I don’t retain fat in a way that is conducive to weight gain.

Will I get a gym membership again and start going with J?  Very probably.  Although, probably not until after the holidays are over.  The busy time is creeping up fast, and I’m just not going to have the extra time once the bomb drops.

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck


Empathic Ability… or Something Else

Today’s meditation was… well, I’m not entirely how long it was, because I fell asleep.  It was relaxing, though. I think that just a lack of sleep combined with the taxing part of having both the helper and the housekeeper coming by today just took it out of me.  I laid down and became still, and off to sleep I went.

Today’s draw is Queen of Bats (Swords), which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy in the area of intellect, thought, logic, communication, and instinct.  This involves themes that include independent thought, reflection on new ideas without the need for conformity (ie: clear boundaries), a lack of bias, and direct communication.

When I look at today’s card, what I see is strength reflected through the posture of the queen and her sword, and an openness to hear out others while staying firm in one’s own foundations that is demonstrated in her welcoming of the flying bat combined with the death moth that is both at the base of her throne as well as within her crown. The moon smiling down feels like a blessing and approval, displaying an indication that this path is the right one for this moment in time.

I think this is a really interesting card to draw today, because I find myself reflecting on the definition of what an empath is, and if it really applies to me as I thought it did.  The thing is, I do not feel other people’s emotions in the way that I understand empathic abilities to work.  Instead, I sense and react to energy.  From that energy, my body can then interpret and even empathize with emotions from others… but it is not the direct connection and mimicry of emotion that others seem to define the ability as having.

Clearly, this feels like a separation between what I’m experiencing, and what is generally defined as empathic ability.  I wonder, then, if in fact this isn’t empathic ability at all, but something else that I haven’t yet found a name and/or definition for yet.

This, to me, fits in with the Queen of Bats because it runs along the line of intellectual examination, independent thought, and non-conformity.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: How can I recognize my own power to manifest growth?  I specifically focused on growth concerning my business in this inquiry.


Reading Summary:  If you would just give yourself a chance to be nicer to yourself and embrace the emotional gifts others are offering,  the world would be at your feet.  Stop and examine where you feel scarcity.

Take Away:  I need to sit with my emotions, look at and delve into a better understanding of them, and allow others to contribute to my life with their own emotions as well.   This is the aspect of my life where I am at my weakest, as I often have a hard time connecting with others in this manner, or experiencing the world through that lens. I need to take a breath and ease my strangle hold of stress concerning finances and the business or it will smother under my grip.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot

Trying New Things

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, but I didn’t do a guided meditation today.  Instead, I took some time to focus upon my breathing, and then worked my way through a full body scan that began at my head and worked down to the tips of my toes.

Once reaching my feet, I moved on to a full awareness of my full body and then expanded that awareness outward to first the room, then beyond.

Eventually, I retracted this awareness back to my normal space just as the chime went off to mark the ten minute mark, and I left it there for the day.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Axes (Swords) with a jumper of the Ace of Cups.

Both of these cards deal with the seeds of new beginnings, opportunity, and potential.  In the case of the Axes, this has to do with the area of thoughts, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.   The Cups, on the other hand, deals with emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What I see in these cards today is that I need to invest my heart and soul into new ideas, and when seeking for ways to communicate, try to reach beyond just my mind for that connection with others, but seek to communicate from my heart as well.

As you know, other than with dealing with you personally, this is not my normal approach.  In fact, even with you sometimes I struggle to dip beyond logic and intellect, and into the expression of the heart in my communication.  Sometimes it’s easier than others, but this is something I really don’t do all that often.

For this reason, today’s draw feels like a challenge of sorts.  A challenge of the “status quo” and my “modus operandi” .  A challenge to try a new way of relating to the world.

I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to take up that challenge, but it’s definitely something to think about… and maybe even explore my feelings on a little bit.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Unknown



Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: What is holding me back from further growth?

Reading Summary: The growth this reading is pertaining to has to do with my business, finances, and resources.  Specifically, in the effort it will take to bring things into balance and up to par after the summer months.  The girl looks ahead into the future, and there is planning going on, but there are obstacles in the way to the climb to the next level.  If I want to surmount them, it is going to take a piece of myself to do so.   A physical and emotional tole.

Take Away: It’s time to identify the obstacles on the path.  Sometimes, those things that look fascinating, or even harmless, can actually be secretly holding you back.  If I want to succeed, I don’t just need to educate myself and plan for the future, but be willing to fight for what I want, and sacrifice for it as well.

Deck Used: Tarot of Vampyres


Ethony’s 10 Questions Every Tarot Reader Should Answer

On Ethony’s website, she has a list of the ten questions every tarot reader should answer.  I don’t think I’ve done this one before, so I thought I’d go ahead and add it into the other tarot quizzes that I’ve done on here.


1. Were you mentored, or were you self-taught?

Both? I’d say it is both.   Lenormand has been a part of my life throughout my entire childhood and upward.  I did not start working with RWS until my early teens, and I have alternated between help from Z and doing my own research in all the years since then.

2. Are you a psychic or a Tarot reader?

Again… Both?  I don’t really consider it being “a psychic”, but I read the tarot intuitively 96% of the time.  BUT, I have a foundation of book learning behind beneath my feet, and I tap into that in my readings, even when reading intuitively, if for no other reason than to compare what I’m getting intuitively from the cards to the traditional meanings.

3. Are your predictions accurate, and is accuracy important to you?

I don’t usually set out to do predictive readings, although it does happen.   I find that accuracy isn’t something I really concern myself with in predictive reading, though.   Reason being is that even just being -aware- of what might transpire can change the future, and thus what -could- happen that’s read in the reading is averted/diverted due to the knowledge gained IN said reading.   It’s a Catch22.  Is it accurate and you changed your future?  Or was it inaccurate all along?   Unable to know one way or another?  I just don’t worry about it and read what I see.

4. Is there anything you can’t predict in a reading?

Can’t?  Lotto numbers.  Also, absolute certain, set in concrete predictions of events or situations that cannot be changed or diverted.  This is not really how things work in my experience.  Yes, sometimes things happen just as predicted. Sometimes you take action to ensure a different outcome.  The future is fluid until the moment it becomes the past.

5. Do you use only Tarot, or are you multi-disciplinary?

Okay…. so lets see if I can manage a complete list.   Lenormand, Oracle, Playing Cards, Tarot, Charm Casting, Pendulum, Stick & Pebble Casting (which includes not just sticks and pebbles, but also items such as tiny acorns and cones, tree nettles, thorns, etc found in nature), Runes… hm, I think that’s it.   I would also like to try orb scrying, but the only sphere so far I’ve found that speaks to me is a bit out of my price range at the moment.

6. Is the message in the cards, or in your head?

In my…. in my…. hm.   The messages  are in my solar plexus and delve inward and upward to emerge in the hollows of my collar bones to travel just beneath the skin up to the spot just behind my earlobes, then forward into my mouth.  My brain finds them there and translates them into something I can understand and communicate.

7. Are you a priest or a fortune-teller?

Neither.   I’m an intuitive that uses the cards to find the inner voice I just can’t hear well enough without them.

8. Are you a fixer or a looker?

Both.   Sometimes I’m just looking.  Sometimes, I’m looking for a reason.  Sometimes?  That reason is because I want to help, heal, or fix in some way.

9. Do you read for free, or for fee?

In the past I have read for money.  It was a good supplement to my income at the time.   Since my change in ability to communicate, I have only read for myself and for free for loved ones.  I am open to the possibility of trying remote readings using writing as a medium to communicate, although I’m not sure how interested people are in something like that considering how many other options for readings are out there.

(Edit: I did some face to face for-hire readings while away on my recent trip, and it wasn’t too bad, although the communication was definitely a hurdle to work with.)

10. Is there anything you won’t predict in a reading?

Death.  Nor do I do mediumship, as it’s just not in my wheelhouse.  I don’t give readings on shit that the querent should be going to a licensed professional for either.


Self Care Saturday… On a Sunday

As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Earth King of Cups – Take some time to project for myself some compassion and forgiveness, especially concerning any limitations that might arise in the week ahead.

AirThe Devil – Am drowning myself with the weight of all the “stuff”. Take a step back and evaluate mental clutter. Search for any obsessions that are not serving me and let them go.

WaterQueen of Pentacles – Going to need some alone time and to take some time to lose myself in fantasy and flights of fancy in order to nurture my emotional side.

FirePage of Rods – This week is a time for exploration and discovery. Try something new instead of the same old thing.

Waning – The need to carry my home with me is going to ease. This is not surprising, and is in direct relation to going home tomorrow.

Waxing – A new journey and crossing from the known into the unknown. This card feels like it is connected to the Fire cards in this spread.

Moral of the Story – New adventures ahead, but from home rather than abroad. Keep an eye out for what may be adding unnecessary stress or “weight”. Be sure to make some space and time for myself to breathe.

Deck Used: Morgan Greer Tarot

#TarotForGrowthSeptember prompt 19 … Purpose

For the hell of it, I did the #TarotForGrowthSeptember prompt today from Instagram.   I know this is actually a 3rd post for the day, but I’d actually intended on including this in my card for the day post that I made this morning.  I just forgot.


Question: What message does my spirit have for me about my purpose?

Reading Summary: In times of worry, troubles, or strife, my creativity and the joy that I take in it will guide the way from darkness into the light.

Take Away: Sometimes when I am in the midst of personal struggles, I forget the spiritual value of what I do in my business.  There is a reason behind why I decided to sell my artwork, and that reason goes beyond the making of money.

The creation of the jewelry I make involves the gifting of a part of my soul.  In the creation, a small bit of me that  I share with the world is put into each of the pieces I make and sent out into the world, one small bit at a time.  When I make these pieces, each is made with the intention of bringing the recipient pleasure or joy.  It makes me feel good to contribute this to the world, and in doing so, improve the lives of others in some small way.

Decks Used: Dixit Quest Expansion Pack #2

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)


As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?

Earth – Ace of Pentacles – New opportunities in manifestation and abundance for 2nd week in a row. The little girl happily swinging, shining bright in her glass bubble is an indication of inspiration and enjoyment in exploring these new opportunities from a secure place.

AirKing of Cups – Seek out Gideon when my mind becomes too chaotic and anxieties threaten to take over. Remember he is a safe place to take refuge and a breather.

WaterTen of Swords – If I don’t work on finding balance instead of bulking up my defenses, things are going to run the risk of going catastrophically wrong emotionally.

FireQueen of Swords – I often view the Queen of Swords as cold and restrained.  The clarification card expands on this theme for a message concerning caution and restraint in sharing inspiration with others in order to protect your interests.

Moving Away FromThe Staff & Beauty Way – These cards in the “moving away from” position indicate that finding balance, positivity, and optimism will be a bit of a challenge over the next week.

Heading Toward (and Moral of the Story) – Middle World – Now is a good time for new endeavors, as the world and its energies support you. But, take caution to not be reckless or careless with your resources or confidences.

Decks Used: Crow Tarot, Dixit Pack #6 Memories, Mystical Shaman Oracle


Messages of Empowerment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I visited my safe space for a time.  It was very relaxing and calming.  Since I woke up with a bit of an anxiety issue this morning that has chosen to ride me for most of the day, I thought the visit to my quiet place was in order.   It helped, but I think I would have been better off going for a hike after the farm instead of coming straight home, and then meditating.

Today’s draw is the Five of Flames, which is a representation of tests and trials, struggle, strife, and conflict in the area of one’s ambitions, passions, and drive.

When I look at this card, I hear it telling me to stand up and be strong.  The hyena-boy’s fist on that bone is a clear indication to me of it being a time to feel my power.   This really goes along very well with yesterday’s Self Care Saturday spread that will post later today, and with a brief reading done by Dee and R on YouTube this morning.

As with these other readings, today’s card is a message of empowerment.  “Stand Strong and Conquer”, it says.   As I ease  from the drop, this is important to keep in mind.  I need to build myself up now to prepare for what is coming at the end of the month, as well as to prepare myself and the business for the holiday season ahead.  In both cases, I need to be feeling stable, strong, and in my element.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthSeptember prompt today from Instagram.

Question: Where am I not guarding myself enough?

Reading Summary: There was once a large and diverse family that existed with the constant threat of violence always just lingering in the eaves.  They were constantly trying to talk over each other and making lots of noise.  The only one of them that was ever happy was the one that found a way to get a bit of solitary time to rest and relax.

Take Away:  If I want to prepare for the visit out east at the end of the month, I need to work on my inner calm and find that place within where I can weather the storm without the constant bombardment of outside influences.

If I can find my inner peace and get well seated and comfortable within it, whatever abusive behavior and words are tossed my way during the week I’m away won’t make such an impact.

Deck Used: Dixit Pack #6 Memories