Constant Healing and Growth

Today’s meditation hasn’t taken place yet, because when I laid down to do it, I ended up accidentally falling asleep rather than meditating.  SO…. I’ll be trying again tonight before bed.  As it is, I did get a decent nap in, but I also earned myself a kink in my neck and shoulder.

Herbal Tarot - Sage - The High Priest - HierophantToday’s draw is the High Priest (aka The Hierophant) which is traditionally read as a representation of tradition and institution, a guiding energy or figure in relation to religious knowledge and spiritual beliefs, and in some cases can also represent conformity to social norms.

There are a few aspects of this card that stand out to me today.  There is the man’s white turban, which (I had to look this up) is an indication of a saintly person leading an exemplary life. 

There is also the two pillars, which are the same two pillars as in the High Priestess card and represent the gateway to the spiritual realm. That he stands before these pillars instead of between them or behind them speaks to me of his energy being based in reality and the physical even as he guides those along their spiritual paths.

The third aspect is the sage plant. Salvia officinalis is essentially a healing antiseptic that is used not just for the body but also one’s spiritual health and the energies that surround them.   It is a cleansing herb that can be used to wash away negative energies just as it can be used to help heal bruises on the skin and promote healing. Whether sage is used internally or externally, it’s presence here in the card speaks of the Hierophant’s ability and responsibility to guide himself and others upon a path of healing and growth.

The message in today’s card is about following one’s inner moral compass.  Sometimes this isn’t easy.  Decisions get made and when you think about things you realize you were wrong and have to back-step, maybe even apologize, or eat crow.   It’s important that in these moments we learn from our mistakes and take on their responsibility with grace.


#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
: How can I attract more abundance into my life?

Tarot of Passing Showers

Reading Summary: Don’t forget that you still have a lot to learn (Page of Pentacles) and a part of learning is the mistakes you make along the way (Three of Swords). Keep hope alive (The Star), and you’ll be able to move through moments of defeat quickly and come out the other side still in control (Six of Swords beneath The Chariot).

Take Away:  It’s so easy to get too confident in something you feel you’re doing well at then end up knocked on your ass as you realize you aren’t the be-all end-all of it all. It’s easy, as well, to lose hope when you’re sitting on your ass in the mud absorbing that blow.

The cards here indicate that to attract more abundance into my life, it’s important to not lose hope in those moments, but to learn from them and pick yourself up out of the mud, evaluate what needs to change, then try again.


#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
: What can I do to help my inner child feel less neglected?

The Brady Tarot 2nd EditionReading Summary:  Make the conscious choice (Lovers) to create a solid base (Father of Roots).  Your inner child needs a careful balance between firm guidance (Eight of Roots) and a gentle touch (Temperance).

Take Away:  The cards here are indicating that I’m not giving my inner child the structure and stability that it needs.  This isn’t about money, but about finding a place of inner grounding that allows for a solid foundation on the inside, so that my inner child has the solid footing it needs to express itself with more confidence and not fear the repercussions of backlash that a lack of temperance from my inner critic would contribute to the situation.

Thus, the answer here in the cards is to take my inner critic in hand and make the conscious and willful demand that it treat both myself and my inner child with a level and moderate voice.


#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
: If you could leave one worry behind, what would it be?

Grimalkin Tarot

Reading Summary: Always needing to be the adult (Grimalkin) whenever things that involve my enthusiasm arise (Ace of Wands) or decisions need to be made concerning the paths my enthusiasm might take (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  You know, I had a whole laundry list of possible answers that might have come up from the cards when asking this question, some of them selfish and some of them not… but this one wasn’t on it.  Not that it isn’t true, just that it wasn’t on the list.

The cards here speak of my need to always be responsible and in control, no matter what I’m doing or what interests or passions are driving me or have struck my interest.  In other words… It’d be nice to be a little more carefree.  It’s not really in my nature, mind you… but it would still be nice.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is my biggest win?

Happy Tarot

Reading Summary: Learning to release some of my burden (Ten of Wands) by sharing it with others (imagery on the Two of Cups) so that I can ride that wheel with less centripetal force trying to make me stumble (Wheel of Fortune Rx).

Take Away:  So we are speaking here of the wheel not as a vertical wheel, but as a horizontal one, where I can stand upon its center and spin, or step off center and be pulled by centripetal force into stumbling.   By handing out some of my work and responsibilities to others, it makes it easier to stay in the center of the wheel, and easier to handle the responsibilities and obligations I carry instead of becoming overwhelmed by them.

My biggest win is in the realization of this…. and the actual absorption of this rather than simply acknowledging it and saying it’s right.  Instead I’ve taken this to heart and am truly making the effort to change how I do things, which includes allowing others to step in and help me… and asking them for help sometimes even when they don’t step in voluntarily without prompting.



Reality vs Fiction

Today’s meditation was… skipped.  I honestly had every intention of doing it, but I got distracted on my phone and playing a game and…yeah so it totally didn’t happen.   I will try to fit it in at the end of the day, though.  I’d rather spend some time with you than try it right now.

Japaridze Tarot - Nine of WindsToday’s draw is the Nine of Winds (Nine of Wands) which traditionally is a representation of stress, anxiety, depression, mental anguish, and insomnia.

What significantly stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the position of the hands.   The woman appears resting (if not necessarily restful) but the position of her hands belies any sort of rest at all for me. If you’ve ever tried to take up this position, you’ll know that it’s just… not particularly restful at all. Not with hunched shoulders and one hand over the other like that.   It’s a position of concealment and, with the head turned to the side, a position that portrays to me a feeling of shame.

It reminds me of the story of Adam and Eve, and how when the apple was eaten and they were tossed out of the garden, they experienced modesty for the first time and were ashamed of their nudity.   That’s what I see here today in this image.

The message in today’s card is about shame, and if you really have something to be ashamed of… or if it’s just your inner narrative or other’s judgements that are creating that sense of shame within you.   This connects to the reading I did a few days ago and the mention of my father’s expectations and voice in my head… still there years after he’s passed, and still driving me in very negative ways some cases.

This card is an encouragement to examine the things I feel shame over… and let go of those that have no basis in reality.


#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
: What areas of my life could benefit from change?

Stone Marseille Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop trying to balance in so much responsibility (Reyne de Coupe) and pushing forward so hard (Le Chariot).  You don’t have to be in control all the time of everything under your purvey (First two Cards together).  Take time, instead, to wallow in your connection with others near and dear (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  Over the past couple of weeks I’ve started falling into old habits.  Instead of allowing myself to continue to grow, I’ve set my emotions into a place of stability and used that stability to grab hold of the reigns of my responsibilities and seize control.  The problem with this is that control has pushed away the growth I’ve been working toward.

The cards here indicate that the change I could benefit from is easing up on those reigns and allowing myself more time with those I love.


#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
: Philosophical Question: Does life require a purpose and a goal?

Tarot of MetamorphosisReading Summary: Although we are equipped (The Magician), we may not always see where we’re going (Fool). Development of the soul (Queen of Chalices).

Take Away:  When life is given to us, it is given to us with the tools to move forward along our life’s path.  That path is there before us whether we choose to consciously seek out purpose, or wander upon it aimlessly.  We are unable to remain in place, unable to hold back time from moving forward, and it is time that carries us on that path. 

When I see the Queen of Chalices card, I see the development of pigs to humans.  I see a development of what makes us humans. That is the sentient emotions of a developed human being.

So no…. I don’t think there is a goal.  I do not think that there is an end prize to be obtained as we move along life’s path.   But I do believe that this path has a purpose.  That purpose is the development of the soul that, over time, creates a more enlightened spirit within us.


#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
: I welcome the energy available to me, and shift my consciousness to the present. Draw a card. Let its meaning guide/inspire you today.

Dream Raven TarotReading Summary:  Decompression time.

Take Away:  Tomorrow is an orders day.   You’re feeling overwhelmed and overburdened.

Take today and spend some quality time with him so that you can tackle orders day with a little less weight on your shoulders tomorrow.

You know you need the break.  Take it.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is my biggest challenge?

Tarot for Dandelions

Reading Summary: Delays (The World Rx) in my emotional growth (Ace of Cups) because I wandered off the center of the wheel (Wheel of Fortune) and went for a spin on the dark side (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  I understand now that the stalker card of the Ace of Cups I’ve been experiencing recently was a warning that I had tumbled off my path of emotional growth and was starting to tumble back into old habits.

Right now, that is my biggest challenge, and it’s what’s referred to here in this reading.   As I lost my center and began to stumble, I began to feel the unpleasant effects of that lack of centering.  My biggest challenge is keeping that center that will allow me to continue in my emotional growth, even while balancing my responsibilities.


What We Have

Although I meditated today, it wasn’t my normal type of meditation.  Instead I did my meditation while sitting in traffic with a combination of slow breathing exercises and focus on physical sensations such as the touch of the air moving over my skin.   It was a long drive, and I’m a bit out of practice in the commute now that I’m only taking it once every three weeks instead of twice a week.   The breathing exercises and focus on using those physical sensations as a calming influence helped immensely in keeping my stress in line as I dealt with traffic.

Herbal Tarot - Uva Ursi - Two of CupsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which traditionally is interpreted as a card depicting harmonious union and cooperation between two parties.

Uva Ursi is an herb of purification and cleansing, and when combined with what stood out most strongly to me in this card’s imagery today (that would be the caduceus above the cups) what I see here is a message concerning combining strengths to heal.

This card’s appearance today is a representation of our relationship and a reminder of what our union creates.

We are each strong and independent in our own right, and when brought together our skills compliment and reinforce each other, our knowledge and our emotions bolster each other, and the relationship becomes one of support and healing on both sides, each benefiting from the other’s strengths.


#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
: How can I better channel anger into a force of positive change?

The Golden Girls Tarot

Reading Summary: Use that anger combined with the tools at my disposal (The Magician) to inspire (The Star) my passions (Page of Wands and Four of Wands).

Take Away:  The Page of Wands and Four of Wands don’t just indicate my passions in this reading, but rather those passions that create within me a sense of progress and pleasure.  Some of my passions are directionless.  Others are more addiction based.  Those are not the type of passions referenced here.

Here in the cards is a reference to the safe and secure passions that create within me a sense of accomplishment and progress while still bringing me a feeling of joy and stability.   When I need to channel my anger, it is in this direction that I should channel it, transforming it into a flare of that creative spark within me to spur forward my pursuits.


#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
: How does my inner child feel right now?

Nicoletta Ceccoli Tarot Reading Summary: Alice is uncertainty in all three positions.
Position 1) shyness + uncertainty and a need for comfort from others,
Position 2) curious + uncertainty and a need for comforting from the self, and
Position 3) irritation + uncertainty spurred by a vicious inner narrative.

Take Away:  The current state of my inner child is one of shyness, curiosity, and a hint of irritation hidden within the wings.  All of these are overshadowed by a sense of uncertainty and a need for comfort.  When the irritation blended with that uncertainty shows its terrible face, my inner critic slips in and begins to draw blood.

So the key here is that my inner child feels vulnerable.  The flavor of vulnerability might change depending on what has captured its attention in the moment, but the sense of vulnerability and uncertainty is always present.


#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
: How can I use this energy to my personal best advantage?

Dame Darcy's Mermaid Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t forget to take in others input (Three of Pentacles) while sorting out and gathering up (Ace of Wands)what passions you’re carrying forward with you (King of Wands).

Take Away:  The previous reading on this topic indicated that discernment and destruction are the energies this month holds for me.  The cards today indicate that as I’m tearing things down to start certain pursuits and passions anew, make sure that this isn’t a solitary task.   Take in input from others, accept their help and their ideas. Allow them to help you begin anew, and allow them to be there to build you up along your journey.



Allowing for Joy

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and another of the long and silent followings of the plucking of harp’s strings.   I am considering seeing if I can convince L to make me a recording of her plucking at a cello’s strings instead.   I haven’t discussed it with her yet, but I am thinking I might enjoy it a great deal.

All in all the meditation and two minute cycle of piriformis stretching I’m doing during it is working out really well.  The ten minutes actually seems to go by a good deal faster in this style of meditation than it did during my guided practices.

Japaridze Tarot - The FoolToday’s draw is the Fool card of the major arcana, which is a card traditionally interpreted as being full of innocence, naivete, and boundless enthusiasm and potential.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the little dog and the unicycle…. and the fact that there is no human on that unicycle.  The dog is up there alone and having a grand time of it.

I feel like these elements in the card speak not just of enthusiasm, but of trust and confidence.   Without a human there to coax the dog forward, the dog must have trust and confidence in itself rather than in a master.

The message here is about trusting yourself.  It’s okay go after the fun and silly things in life that make no sense to anyone else but you.  Have trust in yourself and the confidence to enjoy yourself without worry about what other people (or your inner critic) may think.


#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
: How can I bring more pleasure into my life?

Fanuna's Tarot

Reading Summary:  Indulge in your personal temptations (The Devil) without allowing others snide glances get in your way (imagery on the Three of Cups).  You know what’s right and are strong enough to tread your own path without their input (The Empress).

Take Away:  Right.  So the Three of Cups imagery really triggered a reaction that has very little to do with the traditional card meaning here.  It had to do with the sidelong glance and open mouth of the center figure, which in my perception today feels snide.  Like a gaggle of girls snicering and gabbing rumors back and forth, yeah?

So with that in mind, the message that the cards in this spread is the whole “you do you” thing.  Don’t worry about what others are doing… or how they do things.  Focus instead upon what brings you joy and dance to the beat of your own drum.


#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
: How can I better connect with my inner child?

Tattoo Tarot Ink and IntuitionReading Summary:  Remember that as capable as you are (Magician)?  You don’t have all the answers (Hierophant). Don’t turn away (Four of Cups) from the good stuff (The World).

Take Away:  There is a definite theme going on in my cards today.   Here we have another message about not taking myself so seriously all the time.  A lot of times I bypass opportunities to experience joy as I lean into responsibilities instead, turning my back on things that will bring me pleasure either emotionally or spiritually… or both, because my sense of responsibility turns me toward the use of my skills, knowledge, and abilities to fulfill obligations instead.

If I want to connect more with my inner child, I need to stop ignoring those opportunities.


#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
: What energy is available to me this month?

Bleu Cat Tarot

Reading Summary: Discernment (Six of Cups) and emotional exploration (Ace of Cups) as well as the destructive power to tear things down (Tower) so that something better can be built in its place (not this month).

Take Away:  The energy available to me this month is one of destruction and discernment.  The cards indicate that energy is about making good choices on what I’m tearing down and breaking apart, with the purpose of adding in space for my emotional well being and growth.    It’s about picking and choosing what to keep, and what to release, and not being afraid of breaking the plate if necessary so that it can be replaced with a different one.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I feel right now?

Tarot Mood

Reading Summary: Resistant to change (Four of Pentacles) even though I know it has to happen (Judgement).  Feeling a need for help in getting my shit together (Three of Pentacles) while trying to stay positive (The Star).

Take Away:  I am trying very, very hard to get over my discomfort with change and “go with the flow”, but the fact I’ve struggled the last two weeks with falling into old habits makes it clear there’s definitely an inner struggle here.  I do feel like I need help, but I’m not sure anyone can actually do anything for me on this path at the moment… and I find myself consciously pushing towards hope in order to keep that alive rather than giving in to the shadow that such struggles can cause within me.