Growth and Uncertainty

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was not guided.  Nor did I listen to music or any other audible agents to help me focus.   Instead, I spent the ten minutes in my regular piriformis stretch, while taking a slow meander through different physical sensations.

This was more of an exploration and appreciation of sensations as a whole, from that of the pain in my hips from the stretch, to the comforting warmth of the blanket I’d draped over my torso, to the cool nip of the air as it entered in through my nose on each breath.   It was very relaxing, and just what I needed.

The Moon - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Moon card, which is the eighteenth card in the Major Arcana, and whose meaning is seated in the themes of uncertainty, confusion, and illusion.

The thing is?   Sometimes uncertainty and confusion has a purpose.   It’s not fun, and it’s not comfortable, but growing pains rarely are.  And sometimes?  That’s what uncertainty and confusion is all about.   Growth.

That’s what I see in the appearance of the Moon in today’s draw.  I see it in the moon in the sky and in the fungi and flowers below reaching up towards the moon’s glow.   When we have moments of uncertainty and confusion, maybe there are times when a better path would be to examine where and why, and take some time exploring that fully… rather than just trying to ignore it or “fix” it.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: What gift awaits me in 2020?

Vindur Tarot

Reading Summary: Better financial security (Ten of Coins), but I’ll have to work to get there (Three of Wands) because there is going to be a lot of ups and downs along the way (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  I am actually really surprised at the directness of this deck’s voice, which feels very similar to Lenormand.  Anyway, on to the reading… Sometimes gifts aren’t free, and sometimes?  The gift is in the work itself.   That’s what I see in the cards here.  The gift is not so much about the better financial security, although that is always something that I appreciate.  Instead, the gift is about the work in getting there and the lessons I learn along the way.  Lessons that will teach me how to better deal with those ups-and-downs that life deals out so readily.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do you take too seriously?

Spirit of the Flowers Tarot

Reading Summary:   Short answer?  Myself.   When things get difficult (Five of Pentacles) or uncertain (The Moon), I have a really bad habit of bearing down on myself (The Emperor) and assessing myself too harshly (Judgement).

Take Away:  I am always quite hard on myself, which is something I’m aware of and I know I need to work on.  I am constantly pushing myself to do better, to be better, etc. Uncertainty, especially, incites this reaction from me.  But, the kind of struggles and scarcity issues that the Five of Pentacles represent?  They are absolutely the type to illicit uncertainty in me as well, so it is not so much a different issue, but something that compounds the issue.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: What makes my ideal day?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary: Relaxation and the opportunity to delve into (First Card) my creative endeavors (Second Card) without the need to rush or the pressure of others to bother me (Third Card), which allows me to let go of my analytic need for perfection and instead find perfection within imperfections and flow with that mentality (Fourth Card).

Take Away:  For me to actually relax, I need to feel that everything is stable and under control.  The house in the first card indicates this to me.  The turquoise door speaks of everything being well in hand, the box structure one that speaks of stability.  The ladder in the first card speaks of escaping to a secret world, which combined with the overlay of the second card, reinforces that “secret world” feel while the table and art supplies indicate artistic and creative endeavors.

The shelter depicted in the second picture along with the sunset beyond it’s walls speaks of extreme relaxation.  The day is ending and everything is quiet and calm, there is protection provided, which when combined with the warm tones of the sunset creates a sense of comforting protection and warmth.

In the last photo three is the lapping waves and beauty of the landscape, but the surface from which you stand is rickety and falling apart.  Sometimes?   Decay is beautiful.  It’s messy and disorganized and lacks structure… and yet it is its own kind of perfection.  When I am stressed, I have a hard time seeing the beauty in chaos.  When I am relaxed, though, I can not just see it, but also appreciate it.