Today’s meditation was a little over ten minutes long, and although it was a guided meditation, I got so far into the zone that I don’t think I heard a word of it. It was very relaxing and was primarily focused on the selenite resting against my solar plexus, and the ebb and flow of my energy timed to match my breaths.
Today’s draw is the Dreamer Four (Four of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of taking time to rest and recover, a restorative pause along your path, and can indicate a time of needed recuperation and healing.
I actually have a bit of difficulty with the imagery on this card. Something about it hearkens back to the Lady Freda Harris artwork of the original Thoth deck, and although this card does not make me internally flinch the way the artwork in that other deck does? It does create a feeling of discomfort. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the curved rays crisscrossing behind the sun? I don’t know. It’s uncomfortable.
That said… I do see the symbolism here in the figure in the center and the glowing sun. The mountains and clouds. And that actually does speak to me today.
The message here is a reminder that sometimes restoration and recovery isn’t about taking a nap or lying down, or resting the body at all. Sometimes it’s about getting outside and connecting with nature, breathing in the fresh air and feeling the exertion of doing something you love that makes the body work and lungs strain.
It’s a reminder that I need to go for a hike this weekend.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE SIDHE
#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What are my expectations of how my loved ones should support my healing?
Reading Summary: They should instinctively know what I need (The High Priestess), and come forward on their own to take on more responsibility and control (The Chariot) so that I don’t feel so overburdened (Ten of Wands).
Take Away: Well, that made me squirm a bit to admit. Okay so I guess I do sort of feel this way sometimes… even though I know that these expectations are ridiculous, and that I need to communicate what’s going on so that my loved ones know what I need and when I need it. As much as they want to help, they aren’t mind readers.
DECK USED: EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO
#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What accomplishment from this month deserves celebration?
Reading Summary: Choosing (Two of Swords) to work on my inner dynamic (The High Priestess) by focusing on the good in my life and what makes me happy (Nine of Cups), and prioritizing it over the habitual urge to close myself off and bear down on my business (Nine of Wands).
Take Away: Honestly, I hadn’t really felt like I had accomplished all that much this month. And then this reading made me realize that I might have something done something rather significant after all. The fact that this is such a significant accomplishment is that it’s something I have never done before. Something I never would have even considered okay to do.
But this year I’ve worked very hard to allow my emotional growth some free reign, and to give myself more slack than I’ve ever given myself before. I’ve found myself trying to heal inner wounds I didn’t even realize existed and, in some cases, actually thought were positive traits. Traits that I’ve come to realize are harmful.
This month I made it the entire month where every day I made a concerted effort to not push so hard or demand so much, but instead focus upon the things that make me happy and create positive emotional responses. I’ve focused on not abusing myself, but instead fostering that internal need to do less, and enjoy more. I think that’s pretty significant.
DECK USED: STUNNING TAROT
“Preparation paves the road” is the lesson that came to mind in relation to this month and that is the lesson I focused upon when pulling this card. The Knight of Swords here then signified the swift action that prior preparation and planning can encourage. It’s much easier to go after what you want and get the things done that you need to get done, when you’ve done the prep work first and everything is in order and ready for you.
Somewhere along the line I managed to forget this very valuable lesson. I have been saving all of my orders work to be done on certain days, and on other days I was just doing random crap that needed done. This might work when things are really slow… but it doesn’t work at all when you have a lot that needs to get done. As the end of the month has approached, this lesson has become more and more apparent, and it’s time to start spreading my work out more, so that I’m not racing the clock so often or doing so many all-nighters on Mondays and Thursdays.
DECK USED: ENCORE TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How would I feel without sadness/anger/disappointment?
Reading Summary: Incomplete (Nine of Swords) and half blind (Eight of Swords) with very little motivation (Knight of Wands Rx).
Note: Nine of Swords represents “incomplete” in this spread because the question is about cutting out everything that the Nine of Swords represents. This makes its presence in the spread an outlier… on the edges alone and bleeding.
Take Away: The fact is is that people need these negative emotions to help balance out the positive ones. Without that balance you cannot be whole and complete… nor can you grow, because you will be left blinded and unable to see due to half of the language the world uses teach you being silenced.