Today’s meditation was… thwarted. I pulled an all-nighter yesterday to bet orders done and shipped out today as planned. When I settled in to meditate, I fell asleep almost immediately. I then tried again later in the day… and had myself a second sleep when I fell asleep almost immediately a second time. I’ll try again when I go to bed tonight, but I have a feeling that today’s meditation just was not meant to happen.
Today’s draw is is the Dreamer Nine (Nine of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of nightmares, torturous thoughts, worries, headaches, insomnia, and other anxieties as well as their effects.
What stands out to me the strongest in this card’s imagery today is the hand that hovers in the air above the sleeping Fae. It comes from her breath, swelling out ethereal and insubstantial from deep within her body only to rise up and out of her into the physical. Blood and bone and claws that hover over her as she dreams.
The message here today is about where anxiety and worries come from, and feels like a reiteration of yesterday’s message about where heartache comes from.
This card says… That scary ass dream that wells up in the night? It comes from you.
Our worries and anxieties are self created, and not something inflicted upon us. They come from our brain and build as we let them have free reign.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE SIDHE
#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I focus on healing my traumas rather than trying to erase them?
Reading Summary: Don’t depend on your conscious mind alone. Your spiritual path (The High Priestess) is an important part of looking forward into the future (Page of Swords). Allow your friends to lift you up (Three of Cups) when you are feeling overburdened (Ten of Wands).
Take Away: There is encouragement here about shadow work, and about using shadow work to heal the subconscious. This is where the spiritual path comes into the equation, because when you work on your inner self, it influences how you see the future and how you confront it and plan for it. There is a need, though, to have a support system in place when you are doing shadow work, as it can quickly become overwhelming without a strong support system of loved ones there to help keep you from sinking too deeply into the work and doing more harm than good.
DECK USED: EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO
#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What kindness do I need to gift myself with?
Reading Summary: Taking things slow does not mean that you’re not in control (Knight of Pentacles), it just means that you need some time for yourself (The Hermit) and you’ll get there when you get there (The Chariot).
Take Away: Make the world move at your pace, instead of allowing it to dictate yours. This is something I’ve sort of lost sight of over the years I’ve been growing my business. This used to be my standard mode of operation.
When I started my business, though, the pressure and stress and added responsibilities sort of welled up and drowned out that slower pace and easy energy. It seems like it might be time to start exploring this again, though. Maybe that is what is lacking in my efforts to slow down.
DECK USED: PRIDE TAROT
Reading Summary: Sometimes it can feel really risky (Ace of Pentacles) to put yourself out there (Ace of Cups), but you’re strong and capable and able to connect with others (Three of Pentacles). That connection is very rarely an emotional one, but on other levels (Again, Three of Pentacles combined with Ace of Pentacles being on top). So don’t get disheartened (Four of Cups).
Take Away: Ok so the question here that’s posed in the answer that these cards give is… do I really want to have a more emotional connection with people? Or am I happy in connecting with them in the way that I already do?
I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty damned emotionally fulfilled in my life. Gideon does a very good job of making sure I’m emotionally happy and healthy and contented. So I guess the answer is that I need to stop looking at the ways that I do connect with others as less-than just because I connect to them in a different way and on a different level than most.
DECK USED: TAROT OF WAY
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me joy?
Reading Summary: Removing myself from my uncomfortable situation (Five of Cups) so that I can own my life and my destiny (Queen of Wands) and turning that into something of value (Nine of Pentacles).
Side note: This deck really loves to hand me the Nine of Pentacles. It’s like a deck-specific stalker card, which is really interesting because usually stalker cards carry across multiple decks for me when they show up.
Take Away: Emancipation. I wouldn’t have really considered the emotion I feel when I think on these things as joy, but definitely happiness. When I emancipated from my parents, there was a sense of elation and hope that came with it. The independence and power of having my future in my own hands was like a breath of fresh air, and what I have done with those gifts is a source of pride for me.