That Whisper is You

Today’s meditation was… thwarted. I pulled an all-nighter yesterday to bet orders done and shipped out today as planned. When I settled in to meditate, I fell asleep almost immediately.  I then tried again later in the day… and had myself a second sleep when I fell asleep almost immediately a second time.  I’ll try again when I go to bed tonight, but I have a feeling that today’s meditation just was not meant to happen.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is is the Dreamer Nine (Nine of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of nightmares, torturous thoughts, worries, headaches, insomnia, and other anxieties as well as their effects.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card’s imagery today is the hand that hovers in the air above the sleeping Fae.  It comes from her breath, swelling out ethereal and insubstantial from deep within her body only to rise up and out of her into the physical.  Blood and bone and claws that hover over her as she dreams.

The message here today is about where anxiety and worries come from, and feels like a reiteration of yesterday’s message about where heartache comes from.

This card says… That scary ass dream that wells up in the night? It comes from you.

Our worries and anxieties are self created, and not something inflicted upon us. They come from our brain and build as we let them have free reign.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I focus on healing my traumas rather than trying to erase them?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: Don’t depend on your conscious mind alone. Your spiritual path (The High Priestess) is an important part of looking forward into the future (Page of Swords). Allow your friends to lift you up (Three of Cups) when you are feeling overburdened (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  There is encouragement here about shadow work, and about using shadow work to heal the subconscious.  This is where the spiritual path comes into the equation, because when you work on your inner self, it influences how you see the future and how you confront it and plan for it.  There is a need, though, to have a support system in place when you are doing shadow work, as it can quickly become overwhelming without a strong support system of loved ones there to help keep you from sinking too deeply into the work and doing more harm than good.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What kindness do I need to gift myself with?

Pride TarotReading Summary: Taking things slow does not mean that you’re not in control (Knight of Pentacles), it just means that you need some time for yourself (The Hermit) and you’ll get there when you get there (The Chariot).

Take Away:  Make the world move at your pace, instead of allowing it to dictate yours.   This is something I’ve sort of lost sight of over the years I’ve been growing my business. This used to be my standard mode of operation.

When I started my business, though, the pressure and stress and added responsibilities sort of welled up and drowned out that slower pace and easy energy.  It seems like it might be time to start exploring this again, though.  Maybe that is what is lacking in my efforts to slow down.

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Water, what should I take to heart about being myself?

Tarot of Why

Reading Summary: Sometimes it can feel really risky (Ace of Pentacles) to put yourself out there (Ace of Cups), but you’re strong and capable and able to connect with others (Three of Pentacles). That connection is very rarely an emotional one, but on other levels (Again, Three of Pentacles combined with Ace of Pentacles being on top). So don’t get disheartened (Four of Cups).

Take Away:  Ok so the question here that’s posed in the answer that these cards give is… do I really want to have a more emotional connection with people?  Or am I happy in connecting with them in the way that I already do?

I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty damned emotionally fulfilled in my life.  Gideon does a very good job of making sure I’m emotionally happy and healthy and contented.  So I guess the answer is that I need to stop looking at the ways that I do connect with others as less-than just because I connect to them in a different way and on a different level than most.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WAY

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me joy?

Stunning Tarot

Reading Summary: Removing myself from my uncomfortable situation (Five of Cups) so that I can own my life and my destiny (Queen of Wands) and turning that into something of value (Nine of Pentacles).

Side note: This deck really loves to hand me the Nine of Pentacles. It’s like a deck-specific stalker card, which is really interesting because usually stalker cards carry across multiple decks for me when they show up.

Take Away:  Emancipation. I wouldn’t have really considered the emotion I feel when I think on these things as joy, but definitely happiness.  When I emancipated from my parents, there was a sense of elation and hope that came with it. The independence and power of having my future in my own hands was like a breath of fresh air, and what I have done with those gifts is a source of pride for me.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_0068Exhaustion

like a raw wound
that only sleep
can soothe
scratchy
achy
a grumpy mess
lie down
take a breath
and
finally… relief.

After my week off there were more orders to get through than I was prepared from.  In order to get them out today as I needed to, it required an all-nighter.  I finally finished making the jewelry around 2am… and packaged orders from 2:30am to 7am.

Everything’s done.  Everything’s shipped…. but goddamn I’m tired.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

#31DaysofWitchcraft Prompt 14 (non)VR to Heather Carter

Heather Carter on YouTube put together a series of prompts titled #31DaysofWitchcraft that she’s been working her way through since the beginning of May. I really like this idea, but I can’t handle the responsibility of any more daily posts, so I thought that for the next few weeks, I would do one (or a few at a time) for the end of week “My Pagan Perspective” posts and work through them a bit at a time.

Today’s prompt was chosen through the inspiration of a question posted by someone on one of my discord servers.

Fae

14. Do you believe in fantasy creatures such as dragons, fairies, unicorns etc?

So… clearly from my response above, I absolutely do believe in the Fae.  In fact, I’ve written about this in the past on this blog.

I love the Fae, and have a special connection with those that I term the “shrubbery rustlers”.  These are the Fae of the forest and the trees, the moss and the bushes, the leaves and the flowers.   I have spent my entire life trafficking with these Fae, frolicking with them, playing their games, and welcoming them into my life.   They are my friends… they are my family.  I feel a deep kinship with them.

Fae

Unlike those people that say they have interacted with “higher Fae”, these Fae do not speak to me in words. Giggles and laughter?  Absolutely.  But not words.  Instead, my communication with them is through energy, not words.    I have actually never met one of these “higher Fae”… or, at least not that I’m aware of.  Actually, there was this one man I met once that I’m relatively sure was one of them… but I didn’t ask and he didn’t offer.  Something about his energy.

In any case, I was told once a long time ago by a woman that I was claimed by the “shrubbery rustlers” and that claim keeps the others away.  Perhaps that’s so, perhaps not… but I’m happy with those that I visit, and that visit with me.  My life and my home are open to them, and I go into the forests to visit with them often as well.

Dragons, Unicorns… Chupacabra, etc.

cryptid

I would say that I am open to the possibility.  Both the possibility of them existing in the present… or having existed at one time and gone extinct.   There’s just so much of the world that is still unexplored. How can we possibly reject the possibility of different creatures that very well could have existed, or could still exist hidden away in those unexplored places.

Ghosts and The Tulpa

I absolutely believe in ghosts. I believe in reincarnation, and I believe that when we die some people move through a process of reincarnation, and others linger either for a short while… or longer.  Especially if they have a purpose for lingering.  I also believe that some of these souls can end up “stuck”.

Tulpa

By the same turn, I also believe in the Tulpa.  These are entities that are manifested through the belief of man.  Invisible friends that become autonomous, certain spirits, demons, etc.   Even some cryptids such as the Rake and the Stickman.  I think that, with enough energy and intention poured into something, especially from multiple sources, that it is absolutely possible to essentially “birth” an entity through belief.