Abandonment vs With Abandon

Today’s meditation was curtailed a bit short, as the girls came home from the store and needed help putting things away. Apparently as much as they love Costco, they are not really prepared for the weight of putting away bulk items on their own. It was fine, though.  I’ll fit in another meditation before bed tonight.

Update (as I’m finishing this post next-day):  I didn’t get a bed-time meditation in because I ended up pulling an all-nighter to make sure that I got all the order ready before bed.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of emotional withdrawal, rejection, or abandonment of something or someone due to a sense of disappointment or need to get away.

This card actually gives me a whole new perspective on the Eight of Cups than I’ve ever actually considered before.   Usually, when I see the Eight of Cups, it is about abandonment. It is about walking away from something. But I never considered that this walking away from something could be a walking away from constraints or restraints.

And yet, when you embrace abandon, that is exactly what you do.  You set aside those things that would drag you down or hold you back, and move forward unrestrained to embrace the freedom of having shed those restricting elements.  So in essence, this card shows not just the “shedding” that the Eight of Cups so often represents, but also the result of that shedding.

Abandoning my constraints and restraints for a better, more healthy way of managing my responsibilities is something that I have been working on a lot this year. Today’s card is a reminder of the fact I’ve promised myself some days off each month.  Days off that are just for me.   I work seven days a week (okay, so it’s supposed to be six, but lets be honest here, even on Saturday, I still work… I just do very low maintenance and low stress stuff).  It’s nearly time for another one of those breaks, and the card today is a reminder that that time is coming… and that it’s okay to look forward to it without guilt.


#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: Why do I struggle with putting myself first?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: Because I worry about losing (Three of Heart) all that I have gained (Nine of Pentacles), and so instead I indulge in my addictions (The Devil) which then leads to uncertainty (The Moon) as a repercussions (Justice).

Take Away:  I’m being called out. This is about misdirection. I don’t put myself first in one area because I fear backsliding, instead I end up misdirecting that self care into a less healthy area that has the potential to create problems and, surprise surprise… causes backsliding.   If I put myself first in healthy ways instead, it is also possible I’d backslide, but without all of the uncertainty and mess that doing so in an unhealthy way causes.


#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Where Are You Content / Where Are You Frustrated

Luminous Void TarotWhere Am I Content?: For a while when the protests and riots started at the beginning of June, I had a lot of restlessness going on.  A lot of discomfort in the fact that I felt like… I was dropping the ball with my community by keeping my distance.  Over the past two months, I’ve done a lot of self-educating, though, that seems to have helped allay that feeling. I no longer feel powerless or up in arms so much as I feel I have learned and am learning… which for me feels far more powerful than anything else I could possibly do.

Where Am I Frustrated?:  Communication with my mother has become fucking torture. I do very much ache for a new start with her… and yet feel defeated because I know a new start won’t change anything, just restart the same old path we are already on.  This repeating cycle is because I want something more… and she is unwilling (or perhaps unable) to give it.  And so a new start would provide nothing for me.


Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: What part of me would benefit from nurturing at this time?

Vivid Journey Tarot

Reading Summary:  My faith in the universe (The World) and my passionate drive for the things I love (Knight of Wands) will be a nurturing balm for my fears of losing (Three of Swords) all that I have achieved (Ten of Pentacles).

Both The World and the Knight of Wands facing inward implies that they are a force to be applied to the central topic (center cards). The World on left represents looking at the past to see how everything always works out in the end. The Knight of Wands on right is in the position to lead me forward into the future, speaking of using my passions as my guide.

Take Away: You know that fear mentioned earlier about losing all I’ve gained? Here it is again. The cards here indicate that I need to nurture those feelings it by applying my faith in the universe to them, and allowing my burning enthusiasm for what I do to continue to be my guide. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is important right now?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: It’s nothing you can’t handle, no matter which way you choose to go with it (The World), but you need to be aware (The High Priestess) that you are procrastinating (Knight of Wands) and there will be consequences for that (Justice).

Take Away:  This… is true.  And reassuring.  I am aware that I am procrastinating on some things, especially in relation to the business and starting my preparations for the holiday rush.  The reassuring part, though, is in The World card.  There is a reassurance there that no matter what happens, it’ll be okay…. things always sort themselves out in the wash.


Gideon’s Challenge


they are not
so easily seen
but whisper in the darkness
a layer of shadow
lying beneath
the visible shade.
Then the light shines
and the show up
in stark relief
even when trying to hide.

Insecurity is my shadow.  Whether it is the “never good enough” insecurity or the “unapproachable and distant” insecurity or… any of various others.  They are all a whisper in the darkness.  They hide and lurk, shift in the peripheral, out of sight and out of mind until the light shifts… and they are then seen.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography