A Whole Person… Not Half

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a second day of pranayama exercises for pain management.   Is it bad that I don’t wanna go back to work and feel like I need a few more days off?  Not that I’m taking a few more days off, I’ve been easing back into work a little each day for the past few days, so that I won’t be overwhelmed tomorrow.  But still…. it feels like this week went by way too fast.

Tarot of the Sidhe - Dreamer TwoToday’s draw is the Dreamer Two (Two of Swords) card, which is traditionally a representation of making hard choices and weighing your options in an effort to come to a decision, as well as can be an indication of avoidance.

This card is, in fact, the same card that I pulled yesterday, although the imagery is vastly different, and the message I see in this card is different as well. What I see in the imagery of this card is two halves making a whole.  I see clarity through diversity.

A lot of times we divide ourselves into pieces.   Things like “head/heart” or “good/bad” and then we weigh one side against the other and raise one up while the other is pushed away. What I see here in the imagery of this card today is the equality of accepting both halves and allowing them to give you a wider perspective and the “wings” to move forward with knowledge and certainty.

The message in this card today is about allowing both “sides” of you to have a part in your life.  It is not a “bad side” and a “good side”.  They are you… and you are not whole without them both.  This is whether we are looking at the dynamic of good and bad, or head and heart, or any number of divides people use to slice themselves into pieces.

Be whole… seek balance.  These things are what make a person complete.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How can I better listen to anxiety’s messages in the future?

Encore Tarot

Reading Summary: When anxiety pops up and you trip over it (Wheel of Fortune Rx), don’t immediately jump on yourself (Eight of Wands) and make judgements, but take the time to really pay attention to what is going on (King of Swords).

Take Away:  It’s natural to immediately go on the defensive when anxiety spikes.  These reactions are often (not always) mixed signals of fight and flight that tangle up in themselves and make a mess out of things… so when you then immediately go on the defensive you are discounting anything that the anxiety might have been trying to say before getting all tangled up and “tongue tied”.  Instead, you need to own this moment.  Own it and examine it, listen to what the anxiety is saying and work at communicating with this reaction to suss out where it came from and what to do about it.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self care this new moon?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA TarotReading Summary:  Your creative juices are flowing (Page of Cups) and you have the energy and enthusiasm to follow where they lead (Page of Wands), but you’ll have make sure to stay in control and be quick on your feet to keep up (The Chariot).

Take Away:  The rest through the waning time of the moon’s cycle seems to have really done me a lot of good.  I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the time my days off came around this month… really overwhelmed.

My recovery has helped me in feeling more myself, and that includes the kindling warmth of creativity and inspiration that begin to get snuffed out during my phases of overwhelm and burnout.  The cards here indicate I should embrace that kindling flame and direct it where I want it to go.  Now is the time to add a little control and direction to the situation so that that kindled spark of energy doesn’t get wasted.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question:  A loving reminder as I allow myself to feel, breathe, and heal.

Pride Tarot

Reading Summary: When it feels like the walls are starting to crumble (The Tower), lean on your friends (Three of Cups) and step back from impulsivity (Knight of Swords) into a more measured approach forward (Page of Swords)

Take Away:  The reminder here is that I have loved ones that care for me and support me.  Sometimes they hop in and help on their own, but they’re just as happy to help when I actually reach out and ask.  The help mentioned here is emotional support, and the cards indicate that if I reach for them for emotional support instead of acting impulsively on my own, I will benefit from their influence in guiding me to a more measured approach to the issues and my recovery from them. 

TL:DR; You’re not alone.  Don’t act like it.  Slow down when needed and accept emotional support when you need it.

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What stops me from sharing my gifts?

Vivid Journey Tarot

Reading Summary: Concern that instead of finding a beneficial unifying experience working with another (Two of Cups) and a different perspective provided through their influence (The Hanged Man), that instead I’ll end up having to defend myself against somebody stealing my shit (Seven of Wands) and fucking up my business (The Tower).

Take Away:  Okay so… Fear.  What stops me from sharing my gifts more openly is the fear that I will have my creative endeavors stolen from me or what is the positive results of my endeavors threatened.  This result would be not just devastating to my endeavors and possibly my future stability, but also to my emotions as when my trust is crushed I have a habit internalizing those emotions and turn them upon myself.  This risk is represented in the fact that the Two of Cups was used for representing collaboration with another.

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_6381Another World

Little tufts
and lots of dust
pillars of growth
within moisture’s kiss
and a spark of life
at the tips
Tall like trees
they stand
a tiny surreal forest
full of life
that could fit within a thimble

Just some of the most fascinating things you can find when you take a moment to just take a pause and… look.  The spark of life is a truly miraculous thing.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

New Moon in Leo – August 2020

New Moon in Leo Tarot Spread - Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Yesterday was the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. What do I need to purge in my life?

Queen of Cups – I can’t find the word for this at the moment.  I know it, but it won’t come.  What I see in this card is the “obsessive possession” of an object… in the case of this imagery it is the cup that the Queen holds.  It’s that “Mine Mine MINE!” mentality of the Gollum in the Lord of the Rings.  This is a blend of selfish, territorial, proprietary feelings that keep the hands holding tight upon what belongs to you beyond the point of reason.

2. What is draining my energy?

Emperor Rx – The feeling that I am not in control and thus trying to then overcompensate is causing a drain in my energy.  Instead of scrambling to tighten the reigns in panic at the feelings of lack of control, try taking a deep breath and letting go. The problem is that it feels like letting go and releasing control will cause everything to fall apart.  And so… I continue to tighten the reigns more and more, and this then takes up more and more of my energy in a vicious cycle.

3. Where do I need to spark play into my life?

Five of Pentacles – Find those things that are distracting to you… and let them carry you away a little bit when things feel dark.  Grow not through the negative connotations of what’s around you during troubled times, but by distracting yourself from those negative influences by finding the things that captivate you and will help you move forward, help you be more optimistic, and help you foster hope.

4. What relationships need examining?

Two of Pentacles – I continue to need to pay close attention to how I am filling my plate and juggling my responsibilities.  Don’t allow the upcoming holiday season and preparations toward that time to screw up the progress you’ve gained.   Take time for yourself, and make sure that you are not allowing overwhelm to grab hold and work its way back into the equation.  Juggling everything is not supposed be easy… and you don’t have to make it look easy when it’s not.

5. Where do I need to speak my truth?

The Hermit – To myself above all others.  Now is a good time to take a close look at your feet upon the path you’ve chosen and ensure that you are still heading in the direction you want to go in.  Be honest with yourself about what needs to be changed, and genuine with yourself concerning your motivations, aspirations, and priorities.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS