#DatingTheTarot2020 a (non) VR to Candy Soul and Soil

So, this prompt was brought to my attention by Simon at The Hermit’s Cave, bit it originates from Candy Soul and Soil on YouTube. The concept here is what decks would fit these ten dating categories listed below. Although it was encouraged that you could use any kind of deck for this challenge (not just tarot decks), but I will be sticking to tarot specifically.

1: The Cheapskate Date… who did you date because they were cheap as chips and what was the outcome?

Student Tarot v2 Stained Glass

Student Tarot v.2 (Stained Glass) – Other than free decks and gifts, this is my cheapest deck. I paid $3.73 for it in a bargain bin at a little Asian market up in British Columbia, Canada. It was tucked away at the very back of a shelf cluttered with stationary and books. It is a beautiful deck and actually got me into collecting all of the different Student Tarot decks. Each one has a different style of art, and I currently have… seven versions. I’m not entirely sure how many versions there are total, because every time I think I know about them all I then end up finding another one.

2: The Slow Burner Date… the one you weren’t sure about on first meeting but over time you suspect it’s turning to love!

Ostara Tarot

Ostara Tarot – I bought this tarot because I was attracted to the artwork, but owned it for over a year before eventually using the deck for the first time. There was just something about this deck that I felt I needed to hold off on. Then, a year ago in November I finally pulled it out and used it for the full month and didn’t want to stop using it even at the end of the month. This is extremely rare for me as I usually want to rotate out to use different decks pretty regularly.

3: The Blind Date… because we are impulsive humans and sometimes we just rush in! Who did you date without looking or thinking?

Raja Tarot

The Raja Tarot – I saw exactly three cards in this deck when I bought it. All three cards were majors, and that was it. No one had pictures of this deck up to view. The creator didn’t either. I had an impulsive “fuck it” moment and bought it, and it was the worst purchase I’d ever made. Jesus… it’s bad. The cardstock is bad, the pips are bad… even the tuckbox is crap. So yeah. Bad. Bad bad date.

4: The Rebound Date… the one you keep going to break up with but keep being pulled back together!

Liz Dean's Golden Tarot

Liz Dean’s Golden Tarot – I have gotten rid of this deck and had it come back to me multiple times. I bought it from Amazon, gave it away, found it at a thrift store for $4 and bought it, edged it… gave it away. Found it at a GoodWill in Ontario Canada and bought it again. It just comes back again and again. This last visit from my rebound date, I’ve trimmed off the borders and titles to make it image only.

5: The Surprise Love Affair Date… the one you thought would be just ok but from first meeting it was love at first sight that took you by surprise!

Tarot of the Hidden Realm

Tarot of the Hidden Realm – When I ordered this deck, I really didn’t expect the reaction I had to it. I thought the artwork was lovely, and was interested because of it, but didn’t think it would be anything particularly overly special. Then I opened the box and touched the cards and it was so…. perfect. The art. The energy. The cardstock. The energy. I’d never felt anything like the energy I felt in these cards when I got them in my hands, and this is my very first “soul deck” connection. I’d been reading tarot for 15 years at that point, which just goes to show, sometimes surprises happen even to the well seasoned readers.

6: The “Not My Type” Date… the one you went on thinking it wasn’t really your cup of tea but what the hell… what happened?

Thoth Tarot Golden Edition

Aleister Crowley’s Golden Thoth – Right… so… I find Lady Freda Harris’ artwork to be extremely disturbing. It gives me really bad vibes and prolonged exposure (over a few minutes) can give me nausea and cold sweats. I bought this deck with every intention of studying the Thoth and exploring the system at length along with its original artwork. But I was never able to get over extremely visceral reaction to the artwork. I still own it, but probably won’t for much longer so I suppose this also could have gone down into the next category, but another Thoth style deck takes that slot.

7: The “I May Have To Delete Your Number” Date… the one that really didn’t work but you still haven’t broken up with yet, what’s stopping you?

Tabula Mundi Tarot en Minima

Tabula Mundi Tarot in Minima – This one doesn’t give me the same bad/uncomfortable vibes as the Crowley Thoth, but there’s something about the artwork that bothers me and I find myself often confused when I look at the cards in this deck. This is a weird sensation for me. I’ve been reading tarot for over 18 years, and reading imagery cards for years more… and yet these cards are just so confusing to me and no amount of familiarizing myself with them seems to solve the problem. For some inexplicable reason, I haven’t quite given up on them yet tho.

8: The Forever Love… True love… ok this one might be on the favourites list too but I’m curious and couldn’t resist!

Herbal Tarot

Herbal Tarot – I could have put one of my soul decks here, but if I’m entirely honest? Even though this is not one of my soul decks, it will forever hold my deep and abiding love. This was my second tarot deck and I have worn out multiple copies of it over the years. It’s diverse, multi-national, and there are a number of androgynous characters presented in the imagery. And… it’s all about plants. Unlike my very first tarot deck, which was horrible, this deck made sense to me immediately and was easy to read from the start.

9: The Stormy On/Off Date… the one you can’t stay away from, equal parts passion, lust and fighting! The one you have to have a break from but can’t stay away from either!

Tarot of the Sidhe

Tarot of the Sidhe – I find the artwork in this deck garish, and sometimes abrasive. And yet… there’s something about this deck that draws me back again and again. I’m not sure what it is, but I can’t help reaching for it in the summer months, even if I can only use it a few times before having to set it back on the shelf again.

10: The Friends With Benefits Date… who can you run to without commitment whenever you just have a need for them? The one who always just slots right back in like you’ve never been apart?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Hanson Roberts Tarot – This was my third ever tarot deck, and like the Herbal Tarot mentioned above, I have worn out multiple copies of this deck over the years. There’s just something very “coming home” about picking up this deck and working with it. The artwork, the faces, the colors… it’s like a close friend giving a warm hug.

Picking Up A Previous Practice

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I fidgeted through the entire process.   I had an idea for a new organization method for my decks, and honestly?  I just couldn’t calm down about it enough to do anything useful with those ten minutes of meditation.  I will try again tonight before bed.   Now that I have everything rearranged (again), I should hopefully be a bit less fidgety.

Tarot of the Sidhe - The Dreamer, Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is The Dreamer card (Ace of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of inspiration, new ideas, eureka moments, and mental clarity.

What stood out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card is the hands at the bottom.  Their positioning is probably supposed to represent the alchemical air symbol of an upright triangle with a line through it.  The thing is, though?  It looks an awful lot like the Hakini mudra (except that the pinky fingers are not bent in that mudra, so it’s not exactly… right.

Still, it’s actually pretty fitting, as the Hakini mudra is used for concentration and to boost the brain including memory, inspiration, and cooperation between the right and left hemispheres.

I see this card’s appearance today as a reminder of the benefits that including mudras into my medication can have.  This is an activity that I have really slacked off on over the past few months, but I think it’s time to start incorporating them into my practice again… and perhaps I’ll even start with the Hakini.


#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: Who can I turn to for help enforcing those boundaries?

Tarot Mundi In Minima Tarot

Reading Summary: Family and friends (Four of Wands) will step up to provide solid back up (Knight of Discs) when needed (The Tower).

Take Away:  Friends and family is the answer here.  It’s those that are nearest and dearest to me that I can depend on.  People like Gideon, my sister, Z, J, Ms B… these are all people that are a part of my inner circle of love and support and people that I can depend on to help when I need it.    The key here is in the last card in this spread, which is The Tower, and the deck’s way of stressing “when you need it”. 


#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #4

Odd Hand TarotSeeds SownAce of Pentacles – The seeds that I planted in the spring that have flourished have to do with finding a new balance between my responsibilities and my life.  This isn’t so much about the balance itself, which is still in the works, but the openness and willingness to make the changes needed and start upon a new path.

The ChaffStrength – Those seeds that have not flourished are the ones that I plant every year and this year have chosen  not to encourage.  That is the tendency to push and shove and force my way forward with determination and blind focus. In the past I have done this to my own detriment again and again, and it is something that has been working for me less and less with each year that passes.

The HarvestFour of Wands – Friends and family connections are going to be very important as I prepare to reap the rewards of my summer’s hard work. This card indicates I need to make sure I’m not just getting myself ready for the busy season ahead, but my those around me as well… both those that are here to help with that busy time, and those that are stuck waiting in the wings for the rush to end.


Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best provide help and support to my loved ones at this time?

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary: When crap happens and they feel depressed (Five of Discs), be generous (Six of Discs) with my advice (The Hierophant) and my emotional support (King of Cups).

Take Away:  Honestly?  As much as I love to help people?  I always feel like when I give advice that it might be overstepping.  I mean, I know that the advice is decent and I have a lot of experience under my belt to base my advice through… and yet it always feels like encroaching? I’m relatively sure that this is not the case and just my own personal insecurities, but there’s always that worry of being seen as some sort of know it all. You know, not the good kind but the annoying kind.

Funny enough, you would think it would be the emotional support part of this reading that I balk at, but when it comes to those closest to me that I love and that love me? I don’t have a problem reaching out with a hug or some emotional support.  It’s probably one of the only scenarios in life where being emotionally connected doesn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I make the world a better place?

Pride Tarot

Ten of Swords – Show by example just how much you can survive.

Ooph.  Okay so this one is a hard one for me.  Not that I don’t share my struggles or that people aren’t aware of some of the things I have been through.  But if I were to list out all of the crazy ass shit that’s happened in my life…. or even just the ones that left scars on my body… it would sound like some sort of catastrophic “The Man Born With No Luck” B-movie or something. I have survived a lot.  A LOT.  But… it feels weird to put it all out there, which is sort of what you have to do if you want to show people by example just how much a person can survive and continue to move on from.

Eight of Wands – Send out into the world the positivity that you create. (imagery based)

This is something that I do regularly and love the most about my home business.  I love making beautiful things and sending them out to others to love and cherish.  I hope that every single piece of jewelry and other creation I make finds a home where it can brighten someone’s day… or many days, as the case may be.  I instill these hopes and that intent into each of the pieces I make.

Knight of Swords – Choose your battles wisely.

Sometimes we all pick battles we shouldn’t.  I think that’s a part of life and learning when and where to pick the battles that really mater and mean something.  To make the world a better place, it’s important to examine the battles you’re deciding to fight, and make sure they’re really worth the time, effort, energy, and emotion that you’re going to pour into them.  What is the motivation behind becoming involved?


Be More Careful

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and took place in the bathtub.  I spent a great deal of time in the bathtub today actually.  What was supposed to be an hour in the tub with meditation and a little relaxation turned into two hours… and included a nap. Yes, I know that I need to be more careful about that.  I promise… it wasn’t intentional.  It was just so comfortable that I ended off dozing off.

Funny enough, I did my first reading for someone else in the tub today as well.   Mostly because I didn’t feel like getting my ass out and going to my reading table.   I have a few waterproof decks beside the bath so I just did it there and laid them out on the bath mat beside the tub.   Oddly?  I think it gave my interpretation ability a bit of a warmer tone.  Like… as in the reading seemed a bit more emotion based than normal.

Tarot of the Sidhe - Pan, The DevilToday’s draw is the Pan card (The Devil), which is traditionally a representation of temptations and self destructive behaviors.  This can include things like addictions as well as the development of bad habits, or allowing oneself to be “lead astray”.

This is me… sleeping in the tub.   I mean it’s really that clear to me in this moment.  I know it’s supposed to kind of look like sex or surrender, but what I see here in this imagery today is her… floating.  She looks like she’s floating.   In fact, when I first pulled this card today, I barely noticed the Pan at all, only her.

The message in this card is a warning that I need to pay attention to.  It tells me that sleeping in the tub is more than just “flirting” with danger, but is truly dangerous, and I need to make more of an effort to not doze off when I’m in there.


#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What boundaries must be established for me to feel safe when confronting my trauma?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary: The Nine of Wands popped out while I was considering whether I wanted to have this question be about boundaries for myself or boundaries for others. This card indicates that the boundaries are about myself.

Both the Nine of Wands and the Queen of Swords are pointing to the past (to the left) indicating that I need to make sure that I am keeping my past out of my healing process.

The High Priestess indicates that in order to make the decisions on when my past can be incorporated and when I can’t, I need to look inside myself and make sure that I am taking a healthy path and not a hurtful one (indicated by the Priestess’ heart crossed arms).

Take Away:  My past is not there to help me heal… it’s what I’m healing from. I need to be judicious in how I incorporate my past into my healing journey in order to ensure it only does good and not harm.


#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to hear right now?

Tarot of WhyReading Summary: It’s OK to take control (The Chariot) of your personal time and retreat when you need (Four of Swords) to as long as you’re doing it in healthy ways (Four of Cups) that make you happy and bring joy to your life (The Sun).

Take Away:  This reading should be titled “Don’t Be A Sourpuss”.  If you’re going to take time for yourself, that’s okay… but make sure it’s for the right reasons.  Healthy reasons.  Don’t retreat just to wallow in a crappy mood or allow yourself to be a grump.  Alone time needs to be a time of restoration and enjoyment.

This is actually good advice because when I’m feeling grumpy and pessimistic, I have a habit of retreating into myself.  This habit has a purpose, as when I am dealing with an actual major depressive episode, this allows me to continue to function even though I’m a complete mess on the inside.  By pulling into myself, many people can’t even tell what’s really going on… and thus I can continue to put on the appearance that everything is fine and function normally under the observation of others.

The thing is, though, I don’t need to use this method outside of my MDEs.  It’s become a habit to retreat for any negative emotion, regardless of whether it’s clinical grade depression or not.   And that…. is not healthy.


Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best support and nurture positive growth in my community at this time?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: You have the tools (The Magician) to help others reason out (King of Swords) their conflicts (Five of Wands) and come to a resolution (King atop Five). Spend some time with your friends and have some fun (Three of Cups). You can bring them together and resolve their disagreements to restore positive balance in the relationship (The Sun).

Take Away:  This reading is about J and his parents.  Both J and his dad are out of work right now, and living in the same house.  They butt heads a lot when they have to spend too much time together, which has been their situation for the past few months.

I stopped by J’s place today on my way home from my hike and threw horseshoes out in the yard with him and his dad.  His mom came to me before I left to give me her customary hug and thanked me.  She said that coming over helped disperse some of the tension in the house, and especially between J and his dad.  She told me I should come over more often and stop avoiding them because of the pandemic issues.

It was nice that I was able to help.  I very much do worry about the whole pandemic thing and accidentally bringing it to their home tho, just as J does… which is why he’s not hanging out over here at my house much these days.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I better focus on the future while being present in the present?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary: When things build up and eventually get to a point of  noticeable change (Death), it can sometimes create an emotional mess from worry, pain, and sense of loss (Three of Swords). But, if you focus on your passions and hold steadfast to your goals in the present (King of Wands), you’ll have the tools you need to move forward into the future (The Magician).

seraphimSide Note:  You know, I just realized something about this deck. A lot of the imagery in these cards remind me of the Catholic representations of the higher hierarchy angels like the Seraphim and Cherubim. Multiple wings, multiple eyes… and just sayin’?  But the image I’ve chosen to share here in this post is one of the least freaky of the depictions I’ve seen.

Okay so back to the reading…

Take Away:  That’s the thing about the present, yeah?  It’s full of changes.  Every day there are changes, some good and some not so good.  Sometimes they slip by without being noticed, but other times it’s like you trip over them and skin both knees in the process.    Those changes that you trip over are why it’s so hard to stay in the present sometimes instead of becoming overly focused on the future.  The fear and other emotions they illicit make you want to turn away and look to something better, to disengage with the change and the feelings they create.

The cards here say that instead of disengaging by looking forward, a better path would be to focus on the things that spark your fire and keep you going.  Focus on what you can do now, and apply your attention and abilities to these things.  Let the future take care of itself.


Time To Climb

Today’s meditation was a little over ten minutes long, and although it was a guided meditation, I got so far into the zone that I don’t think I heard a word of it.  It was very relaxing and was primarily focused on the selenite resting against my solar plexus, and the ebb and flow of my energy timed to match my breaths.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Four (Four of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of taking time to rest and recover, a restorative pause along your path, and can indicate a time of needed recuperation and healing.

I actually have a bit of difficulty with the imagery on this card.  Something about it hearkens back to the Lady Freda Harris artwork of the original Thoth deck, and although this card does not make me internally flinch the way the artwork in that other deck does?  It does create a feeling of discomfort. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the curved rays crisscrossing behind the sun?   I don’t know.  It’s uncomfortable.

That said… I do see the symbolism here in the figure in the center and the glowing sun.  The mountains and clouds.   And that actually does speak to me today.

The message here is a reminder that sometimes restoration and recovery isn’t about taking a nap or lying down, or resting the body at all.   Sometimes it’s about getting outside and connecting with nature, breathing in the fresh air and feeling the exertion of doing something you love that makes the body work and lungs strain.

It’s a reminder that I need to go for a hike this weekend.


#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What are my expectations of how my loved ones should support my healing?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: They should instinctively know what I need (The High Priestess), and come forward on their own to take on more responsibility and control (The Chariot) so that I don’t feel so overburdened (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  Well, that made me squirm a bit to admit. Okay so I guess I do sort of feel this way sometimes… even though I know that these expectations are ridiculous, and that I need to communicate what’s going on so that my loved ones know what I need and when I need it. As much as they want to help, they aren’t mind readers.


#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What accomplishment from this month deserves celebration?

Stunning TarotReading Summary: Choosing (Two of Swords) to work on my inner dynamic (The High Priestess) by focusing on the good in my life and what makes me happy (Nine of Cups), and prioritizing it  over the habitual urge to close myself off and bear down on my business (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  Honestly, I hadn’t really felt like I had accomplished all that much this month. And then this reading made me realize that I might have something done something rather significant after all.  The fact that this is such a significant accomplishment is that it’s something I have never done before.  Something I never would have even considered okay to do.

But this year I’ve worked very hard to allow my emotional growth some free reign, and to give myself more slack than I’ve ever given myself before.  I’ve found myself trying to heal inner wounds I didn’t even realize existed and, in some cases, actually thought were positive traits.  Traits that I’ve come to realize are harmful.

This month I made it the entire month where every day I made a concerted effort to not push so hard or demand so much, but instead focus upon the things that make me happy and create positive emotional responses.  I’ve focused on not abusing myself, but instead fostering that internal need to do less, and enjoy more.    I think that’s pretty significant.


Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Topic: Give thought to all of your August lessons and draw a card.

Encore Tarot - Knight of Swords“Preparation paves the road” is the lesson that came to mind in relation to this month and that is the lesson I focused upon when pulling this card. The Knight of Swords here then signified the swift action that prior preparation and planning can encourage. It’s much easier to go after what you want and get the things done that you need to get done, when you’ve done the prep work first and everything is in order and ready for you.

Somewhere along the line I managed to forget this very valuable lesson. I have been saving all of my orders work to be done on certain days, and on other days I was just doing random crap that needed done. This might work when things are really slow… but it doesn’t work at all when you have a lot that needs to get done.  As the end of the month has approached, this lesson has become more and more apparent, and it’s time to start spreading my work out more, so that I’m not racing the clock so often or doing so many all-nighters on Mondays and Thursdays.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How would I feel without sadness/anger/disappointment?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Incomplete (Nine of Swords) and half blind (Eight of Swords) with very little motivation (Knight of Wands Rx).

Note:  Nine of Swords represents “incomplete” in this spread because the question is about cutting out everything that the Nine of Swords represents.  This makes its presence in the spread an outlier… on the edges alone and bleeding.

Take Away:  The fact is is that people need these negative emotions to help balance out the positive ones. Without that balance you cannot be whole and complete… nor can you grow, because you will be left blinded and unable to see due to half of the language the world uses teach you being silenced.


Guilt, Blame, and Letting Go

IMG_5964Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was one of my guided meditations with an interval timer to space out my piriformis stretching.   The topic of today’s guided meditation was about the reflection of one’s behavior back on yourself through interaction with others.  If you approach someone in anger, it makes sense that you will get anger back.  But what people don’t realize is that more subtle effects are also just as possible.

The meditation told the story of a research team wanting to research monkeys, but each time they tried to get close the monkeys repelled them.  Then a researcher went in alone without guns as protection, and the monkeys welcomed him.   The monkeys didn’t know what guns are, but because the team was going in wary and on guard, prepared to commit violence, the monkeys could sense this and wouldn’t let them close.

People are often also like this. They pick up on non verbal cues that tell them someone is tense or irritated, anxious or defensive.  And they then react to those cues without even realizing they’re doing it.   By the same turn, they will also react to positive cues like happiness and warmth.  The meditation today encouraged the latter.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Three (Three of Swords) which is traditionally about heartache and feelings of loss including (but far from restricted to) grief.

The Fae in this story has no heart.  It is being torn to shreds by the black birds, shared among them as she stands wide open with a hole in her chest, weeping bloody tears.  Trees wilt and falter on the landscape of her skirt as dark clouds come to tangle in her hair.

The thing is, that this looks like it is permanent. It looks never ending.  But the sun behind the figure in this imagery indicates that there is still hope on the horizon and as it rises, it will beat back the dark clouds and overtake the shadows.

Will she ever be the same?  No.   But that can be said for every experience we have in life, not just the bad ones.  Each and every good and bad experience we have changes us. This is how we grow.

I’ve been so disappointed all damned day because my stomach has been a mess.  The cramps are killing me and it’s made me miss out on time with you that I really wanted… and needed.  And was so fucking looking forward to.  I’m sorry my stomach is being a bastard.  I’ve been eating my yogurt and I don’t think I ate anything today that was even close to going bad… I just don’t know what the hell its problem is.

I feel so bad about this, but I know that, like the Fae in this card’s image, we will make it through and continue to grow and thrive.  Together.


#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I approach myself with extra kindness and patience during the healing process?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Pay attention to avoidance strategies (The Devil and Eight of Cups)… and focus on what is been accomplished and what’s good in your life (Nine of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I am so being called out with this reading.  *Chuckles*  Right, so I have a lot of different avoidance strategies to keep myself at a distance from my inner workings when things are feeling raw and I need to heal.  There’s my bad habits, my addictions, my defense mechanisms, multiple different types of distractions, and lets not forget just plain turning my back and willfully ignoring whatever is going on. I am one of those people who was raised to be able to sit and calmly eat or do pretty much anything with quiet calm… all while someone screams and berates you in your ear.  That detachment developed into  yet another mechanism of avoidance.

These cards indicate I need to watch out for these different methods of avoidance, and circumvent them through contemplation and acceptance of the good things in my life and an open acceptance, and even appreciation, of the things I have accomplished.


#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I begin to release self blame from my heart?

Hilda TarotReading Summary: Live with what you’ve done (King of Pentacles). Allow your intuition to have a say in how much of the blame you should be taking in (The High Priestess). Don’t be so generous with others, as they played their part too (Six of Pentacles and Temperance).

Take Away:  I wouldn’t be where I am now without having done all those I’ve done along the way.  Some of those things aren’t things I’m proud of, but they need to be viewed with acceptance instead of consternation at this point, as they are in the past now and no longer need to be a burden upon my shoulders.

My instinctual… or perhaps habitual would be a better term… response to discord and conflict is to take the burden of wrongdoing upon myself.  More often than not?  I take far too much of that burden, and I need to learn how to judge more fairly just how much of it I should owl.  The High Priestess indicates I should be looking internally for that answer. I need to make sure it is I that chooses just how much of the burden I take on, and not anyone else.

When I blame myself for things that should be put upon other’s shoulders, I am being generous with them by taking so much of the burden on myself.  Instead, I need to practice a little more balance and moderation, because they deserve to shoulder their share.


Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question:  Air, I seek your wisdom. What teachings do you offer me?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow your heart to take the lead now and then (King of Cups) in work matters (Eight of Pentacles) and you will find yourself moving into another level of growth (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  This is about enjoying my work instead of just working for work’s sake. The fact is that I know from personal experience that work does not feel like work if you’re doing it right, and in the right frame of mind.  It feels like a challenge, or like fun, or like a creative burst, or just like the pleasure of creation and joy of sharing with others.  This pleasure is something that I lost for a while in my work due to pushing myself too hard and the resulting repetitive burnouts that ensued. I am working on reclaiming that joy in my work again, and the guidance here is encouragement to continue upon that path.


No Crown Please

IMG_5933Today’s meditation was eleven minutes long and was a combination of a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.   After the advice of my Self Care Saturday reading this week, I was planning to incorporate some selenite and black tourmaline into my meditation, but I forgot.   I’ll do that tomorrow.

The topic of the guided meditation today was about allowing yourself to accept those things you don’t like about yourself, essentially accepting your shadow side, so that you can become a stronger and more completely whole person through the healing that that acceptance inspires.

Tarot of the Sidhe - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of authority and leadership in the form of a “father” figure.  This is the father that rules with an iron fist, and yet always with the best interests of his family in his heart. Strong, and filled with determination, discipline, and control.

I don’t usually consider chaos a part of the Emperor card, but the imagery on this card very much strikes me as… chaotic. It reminds me of the representation of this card in the Japaritze Tarot, where the title of the card is “War” instead of “The Emperor”.

What I see here is chaos. And sacrifice. All for the greater good. And unlike chaos on its own, that is definitely something I feel is a part of the Emperor’s representation.

In this imagery, the flaming emperor’s robes slowly disintegrate into detritus on the earthen floor, creating the nutrients to grow fruit and other foods for the village in the distance. It’s true what they say that heavy is the head that wears the crown, for he burns with his responsibilities, and fulfills them by giving away pieces of himself and what is his.

The message here in this card today is to be grateful I am not the Emperor, and a reminder that that is not a position I want to be in. I put my all into the things that I hold dear and feel are my responsibilities, but I don’t want to give so much that it damages me in the process.


#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How might clinging to that expectation of the healing process hinder my healing?

Tabula Mundi In Minima

Reading Summary: There’s no rest involved (Four of Swords Rx), creating a lack of true progress (Ten of Cups), which then leaves me having to start over (Ace of Disks).

Take Away:  My expectation (which was outlined in yesterday’s reading) is to fast, which means I don’t get the rest I need to heal properly.  Healing requires rest, and without the healing you can’t move forward out of the recovery stage and into something better.  This means that when you rush healing from trauma, the healing ends up incomplete and you end up having to start over.


#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Do Spread #2
Is my aunt moving out here from out east going to cause more problems between my mother and I?

Encore TarotReading Summary: Stand strong and stable (Four of Coins) in your place of power (Palace of Wands) and don’t allow her to take over (The Chariot).

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that in order to keep the peace, using my business as an excuse for lack of contact is the best strategy to make sure I’m able to keep my distance, regardless of the new proximity. So the answer here is that it is possible, but I have a good chance of circumventing a lot of the issues by using my responsibilities to the business to keep me from having to increase my exposure with the unpleasantness too many visits with my aunt and her toxicity.


Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I further strengthen my connection to the divine?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary:  Make yourself comfortable (Four of Pentacles). Less harsh judgments (Judgement), more hope (The Star). Allow yourself to open up not just spiritually… but also physically (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is about increasing my meditation practice, and making sure I stay on top of keeping my negative self narrative in check. By increasing the intent in my meditation and taking time to allow myself to not just do the meditation but really sink into it and get comfortable in it each time, I am opening myself up to divinity on a bigger and more significant level than the simple meditation that I regularly do each day.

By the same turn, my negative self talk is something that closes me off from both my inner self as well as from the divine.  So if I want to connect more strongly to the divine, it makes sense that I would need to foster more positive connections to both my spirituality and optimism, and let go of the negative self narrative that is one of my most self destructive habits.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I be kinder to myself and to others?

Alan Tarot

To Be Kinder to Myself
Two of Spades, Five of Spades

To be kinder to myself, I need to make a concentrated and conscious choice to move past what makes me so cruel to myself. These judgements and negative self talk are not mine but belong to a place in my past where I had no control and was other the boot of another. Defeat the echoes of his voice in my head, and take away the spoils (your gained wisdom).

To Be Kinder to Others
Knight of Spades, Page of Hearts

To be kinder to others, I need to remember to take my experiences with pain and carry them forward into a place of understanding and warmth when dealing with others.  I’ve been through a lot, and this allows me a place of not just sympathy, but also empathy, with a lot of situations others are dealing with. Instead of looking at these situations as “I made it through, so can you” a better aspect to look at is to try and remember how I felt in these situations in the moment, and conveying to them that I understand what they’re going through and it’ll be okay.