Today’s meditation was… extended into an impromptu bathtub nap. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but it happened and I woke up in cold water, so I was asleep for at least a half an hour or more. Fortunately I did not end up snorting water, and I clearly also did not drown. Both very good news. I also realized part of the reason that I don’t soak in the tub more often. It’s because I hate getting out. I absolutely love being in the water and seriously? My skin is super soft afterward… but I hate getting out.
Today’s draw is the Maker Ten (Ten of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of completion, fulfillment, and “spreading the wealth” of your accomplishments among others close to you in the areas of finance, resources, home and health, and manifestations.
The imagery in this card reminds me far more of a King of Pentacles than the Ten of Pentacles, primarily because what stands out to me in this card is that everyone appears to be bringing offerings to the Fae on the throne in the process of being crowned.
When I think of the Ten of Pentacles, I think of a more “share and share alike” atmosphere, although I see the message clearly in having changed the imagery up like this. At least the message that is there for me today, at any rate.
The message here is that I’ve made it to a good place and it’s okay to feel comfortable and fulfilled. It’s also okay to be in that place and let people do for me now and then. I don’t have to have my fingers in every pot. I’m so uncomfortable with letting other people do things for me that sometimes I forget I don’t need to take it all upon myself.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE SIDHE
#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: How does devaluing my needs harm those around me?
Reading Summary: If I’m spending so much time focusing on the distraction tactics (The Devil), then I’m not moving forward with my goals (Knight of Wands)… not even at a slow pace (Knight of Pentacles).
Take Away: Yesterday’s reading established that my method of devaluing my needs is by misdirection through use of addictions and bad habits. By doing this, I don’t just slow down my progress, but halt it entirely. When this happens it hurts more than just me, but those that depend on me to lead the charge as well as keep things stable and moving.
DECK USED: ODD HAND TAROT
Reading Summary: Emotional cracks in the bedrock stemming from childhood experiences create an opening for roots that dig deep (Ace of Cups Rx and Six of Pentacles). These roots give life to an apathetic lack of enthusiasm (roots in the Six of Pentacles giving life to the flowers in the Five of Cups) and a self destructive desire to turn away from those self care activities (The Hermit Rx).
Take Away: So essentially… self destructive apathy stemming from daddy issue related self loathing. I have a bit of an issue with how so much shit seems to fall back to childhood trauma and parental crap. I get it. I understand it. I fully grasp the concept that what happens in your formative years becomes a big part of your personal foundation, therefore affecting everything from personality to reactionary responses, to how we act, etc.
The thing is though? I want to feel I have more autonomy than that. I want to feel I have more control than that. I understand that the control I want in these areas can only be won through self reflection and inner healing… I guess I just wish… I dunno. I appear to be trundling my way into a round of shadow work that I just do not have the capacity to deal with right now nor in the near future.
DECK USED: EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO
Question: Where can I unburden myself to support my inner fire?
Reading Summary: You’re allowed to have some time to yourself (The Hermit). Don’t worry so much (Nine of Swords) about having to babysit every move everyone makes (The Emperor). You’re fooling yourself (Eight of Swords) if you think that they can’t do it themselves without your supervision.
Take Away: I have a huge “mother hen” complex when it comes to the business and delegating work to others. Even when others are doing the work, I worry and stress and feel the need to check on the progress and the quality again and again. The cards are making it clear that this hyper-diligence is not necessary and I can let it go in preference for giving myself a bit more alone time and self care.
DECK USED: PRIDE TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me happy?
Reading Summary: When I’m feeling self-assured in my creativity (Queen of Wands). When I take charge of collaborations with others and they run smoothly (The Chariot and Three of Pentacles). When I get new perspectives that allow for an expanded view (The Hanged Man).
There is a connection (via color) between The Hanged Man and The Chariot indicating that although I like to take charge, I find it essential for others to contribute their opinions and ideas to the task at hand.
There is also a color connection between The Chariot and the Queen of Wands indicating that I like a good deal of control and a bit of smooth sailing in my creative endeavors… not to mention success (Queen).
There’s a third color connection present between the roots of the tree in The Hanged Man and the Queen of Wands alongside The Chariot, which indicates that in my driven endeavors, I require a bit of stability.
Take Away: Success, taking charge, and true collaboration between myself and others. Both control and stability are extremely important in these matters, which extend beyond my business and into a variety of different endeavors that kindle my inner spark to flare up brightly.