Confidence vs. Ego

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and a simple relaxing harp strings meditation with an intermittent timer just to keep me on track.  I did some basic piriformis stretching, but nothing particularly strenuous or difficult.  I just wanted a nice, peaceful meditation and that’s exactly what I got for once.

Next World Tarot - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of an active, projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive.

Interestingly, although I usually relate pretty strongly to the Knight of Wands, the imagery in this card just… doesn’t do it for me.   The barren ground… the smirking expression.  It’s just doesn’t speak of that drive that I usually associate with this card.

Instead, what I see here is ego. It’s that “Yeah baby, I’m so good my farts don’t stink… they fly like chocolate flavored eagles in a sky that wants to emulate my fashion sense.”

Cracks up… and there’s the message right? Watch your ego. Don’t get too cocky.  Confidence is great, but don’t let it go so far that it becomes a detriment  and blinds you to your own flaws and mistakes.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What do I think a healing journey “should” look like?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: A well planned out direction (Two of Wands), leading to epiphany moments (Judgement), followed by better balance (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Yes, I know that that vision of what a healing journey should look like is unrealistic.  Nothing is ever that simple.   But when I imagine what a “healing journey” should look like… that’s what my idea scenario feels like.  A plotted course that has a plan on where I intend to end up and how I’m going to get there, and moments of realization and epiphany along the way that assist in finding new perspectives and easing self judgements, followed by a healed self with better balance in the different areas of my life as a byproduct.   It’s a wonderful fantasy, yeah?

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Remember / Forgive / Forget

Spark and Pen TarotRememberTwo of Wands and King of Pentacles
Remember what you’ve learned about planning turning into paying off. I’m not sure that this is a lesson I’m going to forget very soon, but there are times when I do forget… usually when my enthusiasm and excitement cause me to get carried away.  The message here in these cards though is that you need a direction to climb in in order to reach the top.

ForgiveSix of Cups and The Moon
Forgive yourself for the times in life when you’ve been uncertain and stop beating yourself up about them. In my youth, I made a number of bad choices and a there was a lot of trial and error in learning how to survive on my own and thrive. Sometimes I look back on those times and some of the things I’d done… and I feel a disappointment and negative judgement. The cards here are indicating that instead of holding onto these things, I need to let them go and forgive myself for them.

ForgetPage of Wands and Five of Cups
Forget the hardships that came with learning how to get where you are. Shit happened… There were doubts… That’s no reason to keep emotionally rehashing the past and those learning experiences. You learned the lessons and can retain them without the need to hold on to the emotional pleasantries and negative inner narrative that comes up when these hardships and all that happened during them are rehashed.

Take Away – Hold onto the lessons and let go of the blame and negative self judgement. Everyone learns some lessons in life the hard way, and that’s okay.  Plot  your course to success, and leave the past in the past where it belongs.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Where can the element of Air empower my psyche?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Enthusiasm (Ace of Wands) and intuition (The High Priestess), flavored by a go get’em creative flow at its core (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  The element of air empowers my psyche by giving me the tools to go after what inspires my creativity.  Those tools are a combination of enthusiasm and intuition.  As my creativity carries me forward and I dive into those things that stir up my creative juices, it’s those elements of enthusiasm and intuition that feed into and swirl through my creativity to allow manifestation and actual creation to take place.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me pain?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Creativity and imagination (Page of Cups) drawing praise from others (Six of Wands), that ends up resulting in being alone (The Hermit).

Take Away:  There have been many times in my life where I’ve had my imagination and creativity flowing, while being encouraged and praised by those around me. That imagination and creativity seems to draw them in and their praise makes me feel like maybe there is a connection there between me and these people, and yet instead of sticking around when I need a little time to myself, they always end up disappearing for good and leaving me alone when I come back from my temporary retreats into myself.  This experience has made me feel used… which, of course, hurt.

This was an unexpected result of the reading of this question.  Not that it’s not true… it absolutely is.  It’s just not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about or examining before.  A lot of the really thought provoking answers I’ve gotten lately have been about how I relate to others.  This reading adds into those previous readings, creating another angle of perspective for them.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

One thought on “Confidence vs. Ego

  1. *Chuckles* I love your train of thought and how you come to the conclusion of your daily draw and not getting too cocky.

    And for the record, you are not allowed to retreat completely from me….but you are absolutely worth the wait when a wait is required. And that will be coming up soon too as the holidays are inevitably creeping up on us again.

    I love you, angel. SO much. So very much.

    Liked by 1 person

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