Slow Burn, Not a Flash Fire

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the bath tub.  It was so… so comfortable but at least I didn’t fall asleep this time.  I very much enjoyed the relaxation in the water for once, though.   Usually I find the tub just uncomfortable enough that I can’t meditate, but today?  It was just right and super comfortable.   Interestingly?  I also find it harder to stay awake as the water gets cooler.  When it’s really warm?  I’m wide awake, but the closer it gets to lukewarm? The more dozy I become.

Botan Tarot - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of controlled progress, and the willpower and determination to go in the direction you want to go in and see things through.

These cards (the Botan Tarot) are so damned beautiful and what stands out to me the strongest in this card today is the hint of wings present in the background behind the figure that is holding the reigns.

What these wings do for me is soften the card.  I often find the Chariot card quite harsh, and yet in this imagery I see willpower tempered by compassion, determination with a touch of restraint, as the wings are spread and thus they are catching air and creating drag. If this card were in motion, I would imagine those wings would not just catch the air but feel as if they billow with it as feathers flutter in the swirling eddies of air currents.

The message here is that it’s all well and good to know where you want to go and have the willpower and determination to get you there, but it’s important to remember that sometimes? Getting there takes time.  Not because you’re forced to go slow, but because you choose to slow down to savor the journey rather than focusing on the end goal alone.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: What needs healing on my root chakra? (Deals with energy, stability, comfort, and safety.)

Wiener Secession TarotReading Summary:  I need to work on finding a deeper level of inner certainty (High Priestess) even in times when my life is in a state of flux (The Wheel).   The Queen of Clubs looks on at this message as if to say that by finding this inner certainty I can then flourish more fully in the endeavors that keep my spark aflame.

Take Away:  Unfortunately, outer uncertainty in my life breeds inner uncertainties about myself. That means that when things go wrong?  I don’t just start blaming myself, but also doubting myself.

That inner uncertainty about myself then creates a lack of motivation that keeps at bay the energy of the Queen’s nurturing of my inner spark. This is where a good part of my moments of “meh” come from, and when I feel those moments, I need to take time to observe where the uncertainty in my life lies in that moment, and explore how its influencing my confidence as well as my motivation.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: Create / Evoke / Balance

Cosmic Tribe TarotCreateFive of Cups – Burnt offerings in a sea of salt. Its time to make more eggshell powder.  The last batch that Id made has lasted for quite some time, but I’ve been needing to make more for a while and keep putting it off.  I should get it done before things become so busy that it has to be put off until the New Year.

EvokeTwo of Wands – I get absolutely no intuitive hit off of the imagery in this card.  So, going by the bare bones of the RWS system… it’s time to start planning for the holiday season.  I’ve been putting it off, to be honest.  Dragging my feet and trying to just… I dunno.  Deny it’s coming?  But the fact is that it is coming, and I’m going to have to get on the ball and get my direction not just meticulously planned out but set in motion.  You can’t get moving until you start get moving.

BalanceNine of Cups – You know that phrase “too much of a good thing”?  Well that goes for everything, including emotional fulfillment and happy feelings.  It’s important to make sure I’m not pushing myself to the point of insincerity.  Working to see the bright side and lean into optimism is one thing, but to the point where it’s fake and just a load of shit?  Too much.  Pay attention to my emotions and how I’m feeling, and be honest with myself about that even when it’d be easier to just put on a happy face and keep moving.

Side Note About This Deck – It’s gotta go.  I don’t get good vibes from the artwork at all.  I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it, but it’s definitely not for me. This is my first reading with this deck, which was added to my collection very recently…. and it’ll be my last.  It just doesn’t feel right.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: A reminder of my personal wealth or personal blessing.

Tarot of the Secret Forest

Reading Summary: The ability to sit out (Eight of Cups) on the battles I need to (Strength Rx) and support others instead instead of engaging (Queen of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I have gotten the message “choose your battles wisely” more than once from the cards over the past week. And here again is that reminder, as the personal blessing that this reading speaks about is my ability to choose my battles.

A lot of times, the battles we fight are not our own, and that is true in my case as well.  There is an encouragement here that it’s okay to not get involved in other’s battles, and to support others from the sidelines instead of diving into the battle myself.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I build my confidence?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Take time (Temperance) to really explore in depth (Page of Swords) the opportunities available to me (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I’m missing something.   Not in this reading.  I mean that the cards are indicating that I’m missing some key factor in the opportunities currently available to me that could ease my discomfort with uncertainty and boost my confidence.

It’s time to take stock and make some decisions on what I want to happen and where I want things to go.  I always feel better when I have a direction, but on top of that I need to also find a way to become more comfortable with uncertainty.  This was also mentioned in an earlier reading today and has carried over into this one.


One thought on “Slow Burn, Not a Flash Fire

  1. And I reiterate..taking things slow is hard for you. You are always in that constant state of rush to get things done because so many more are awaiting your attention that slowing down, even to just enjoy the journey is a difficult thing.

    It does make me miss the days of “Easy” when your life was not so filled with a million things on your To-Do list and rushing to try and get it all done. Then again, in alot of ways your life is better and more fulfilling now and you are definitely in a better place financially…so maybe one of these days we’ll find a way for you to be….Easy and financially stable at the same time. *Grins*
    I love you beautiful boy

    Liked by 1 person

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