It’s Okay To Have Limits

IMG_6366Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The topic of today’s meditation was based on allowing ourselves to see the world with a sense of wonder.  This goes beyond the “pause and smell the roses” mentality and is about creating a fascination with our experiences, seeing them as a chance to explore our curiosities.

Mindfulness is believed to connect us to the world with a “beginner’s mind” and find a childlike sense of wonder that we otherwise do not allow ourselves to experience.

Botan Tarot - King of WandsToday’s draw is the King of Wands, which is traditionally interpreted as a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s drive and ambitions, goals and passionate interests, as well as determination and willpower.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the king’s features as well as the wolf that curls upon his shoulders.  It reminds me of my inner critic and how the dialog it whispers in my ear is always pushing me to do more, be better, work harder.

The problem?  I’m already doing a hell of a lot. I’m already doing my best.  I’m already working hard.  So this inner critic’s voice?  Is pushing me to go beyond my limits, and beyond what’s healthy, just as I see the wolf whispering in the king’s ear doing the same thing in this card.

The message in this card is to make sure you do not allow that whisper to get a foothold in your head and turn you into its slave.   Take care to make sure I’m not pushing myself too hard.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question
: What needs healing on my solar plexus?

Joe Sparrow Tarot

Reading Summary: Give yourself more credit (Queen of Cups atop Six of Pentacles) for how much you’ve done and how far you’ve come along along (Page of Pentacles) concerning the balance between your responsibilities and self care (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It takes a lot of hard work and determination (solar plexus centered work) to make these kind of changes in your life. Don’t sell yourself (or your efforts and progress) short.  There still may be a long way to go… but you’ve come a long way and you’ve done a really good job so far.

DECK USED:  JOE SPARROW TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: You / Your Annoyance / What To Do About It

Tyldwick TarotMeQueen of Coins – I’m both a provider and a nurturer in my relationships with others, especially concerning my relationship with those I’m living with.  Z and my sister depend on me, and for once this isn’t something that freaks me out.  I actually feel quite comfortable in this role for the most part.

My AnnoyanceAce of Swords – Okay, so yes.  I’m comfortable with being a provider. I’m comfortable with being a nurturer.  But jesus f’ing christ they fucking talk ALL the time.  All day every day from the time they get up to the time they go to sleep.  Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk.  How the hell do two people find so much to talk about that they can feel days upon days, months on months with talking?  I have no idea but it drives me nuts.

What To Do About ItSeven of Staves – Note that these are toy soldiers and there is no actual conflict in this card.  This is about perseverance.   It’s about standing strong and accepting that when you’re living with two women, this sort of thing is going to be a part of that.  I love them both, and all the chattering doesn’t change that… nor should it.

DECK USED:  TYLDWICK TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question
: How can I best approach my creative space and endeavors to make the most out of my creativity?

The Painted Tarot

Reading Summary: Take control (King of Wands), pick a direction (Two of Wands), and approach with a sense of wonder and curiosity (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  This actually echoes back to my guided meditation from this morning. To make the most out of my creativity, I need both direction and focus… but I also need to blend in a sense of wonderment and fun.  This curiosity and exploration curiosity is what makes the creative process so very interesting.  It’s just as important as the other two qualities… perhaps even more so.

DECK USED:  THE PAINTED TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I build the courage to say no when I’m uncomfortable doing so?

Samiramay Tarot

Reading Summary:  Don’t let being kind (Three of Swords Rx) become a crutch or a handicap (The Devil). Saying no can sometimes create new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) for others to master skills they might have otherwise ignored (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  You know, I hadn’t really thought of this perspective before.  But, the thing is?  When I am told “no” to something? My brain immediately moves to how I can either get my way or circumvent the “no” and turn it around into my advantage in some way.  I’m not sure why I hadn’t realized this may be the same for others.  Not everyone, I’m sure.  But sometimes?  Saying no really does open new doors of opportunity, so I shouldn’t allow my temptation to sometimes abstain or say yes get in the way of that.

DECK USED:  SAMIRAMAY TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_9862Quiet Time

A quiet day
a balcony
a cup of tea
and a book.
Sometimes it’s
the simple things
that make life
worth living.

Self care isn’t always about the things we do.  Sometimes it’s about the things we decide to put off and do tomorrow.  Sometimes it’s about doing nothing at all… just for a little while.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – WTF

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
I found this on Pinterest this week, and loved it, therefore this is your prompt for this week!! Pick a topic, and apply this spread!

WTF Tarot Spread - Corvid Romantic Playing Cards

Chosen Topic:  My unfounded feelings of trepidation concerning the upcoming holiday rush.

The Face of My Challenge
Six of Feathers

Change.  The face of my challenge is change and the shift of things from one situation to another.  I’m feeling a good deal of discomfort and a need to fall back on old habits.  These old habits are unhealthy and do not serve me at all, but are simply what is familiar.  Instead, I need to make sure I continue to move forward instead of backsliding.

The Crux of What Hounds Me
Ace of Roses

Concern over undoing all the new progress I’ve made this year.  I’ve grown so much over the year, and I am aware that that new emotional growth I’ve been fostering for the past few months is still tenuous and new. I worry that the new beginnings I’ve been fostering are still too delicate to withstand the savage storm of the holiday rush.

What is real about this?
Three of Crystals

I have people to help me and collaborate with me when I need them.  I am not in this alone.  I have the support I need and I need to include them in the process from the beginning, not pull them in later when things are chaotic and a mess.  Allow these people in my life to help so that everything doesn’t rest solely on my shoulders.

What is wrong about this?
Two of Roses

My discomfort and struggle with leaning into those that love me and want to support me.  As mentioned above.  They want to support me.  They want to help.  This discomfort and guilt is useless and is completely unfounded. I understand that this is one of my shadows, and one I will have to deal with over time, but for now I need to keep in mind that these feelings come from within and are not reality.

Where do I need more info?
Six of Crystals

It would be a good idea to delve into in what ways others are willing to help me and be proactive about getting that help… Rather than waiting until I need it and sticking them with tasks that they would prefer not to deal with.  This is about even distribution of the work load so that the help that they are offering is used to its best advantage, and it is a suggestion that has recently come up in a previous reading as well.

What can I do?
Ace of Crystals

Focus on the task at hand, and accept that it’s going to be different this year… and that’s OK. It can lead to better things.

DECK USED:  CORVID ROMANTIC PLAYING CARDS