The Pursuit of Happiness

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another fidgety meditation session.  I think that I need another hike to get out some of this pent up energy.  I’ve reorganized my decks and I went through and tucked labels into all of my swaddled decks today as well. And yet, as much as I’m feeling the need to expend energy?  I do not seem at all inclined to spend it on work.  Go figure, right?

Hush Tarot - Knight of CupsToday’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.  This often portrays itself in a theme of going after what brings someone joy or following your imagination and creativity into new adventures.

What stands out to me most strongly in the imagery of this card today is the guy down at the lower left corner holding the spear.  How funny is it that there’s so much going on in this image, so much to draw the eye, and yet it’s that little head and shoulders and the spear that draws my gaze.

I think sometimes we all need a little prodding to get going on doing the things that are good for us, and going after your joy is definitely good as long as you aren’t… you know… going after heroin or something.  In general, happiness is important to our well being, and yet sometimes we hold back without any real reason behind why.  That spear looks like a really good prod to get things going, don’t you think?

The message in this card is to stop hesitating and just do the stuff that’ll make you happy instead of thinking about it and putting it off.   You’ll feel better and be much happier if you just do it already.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: What’s my essence?

Tarot by Alexander Daniloff 2012 IV edition

Reading Summary: Someone that teaches others (Il Papa) how to find their direction (Three of Wands) during their darkest hours (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  This somehow makes sense to me in… okay so I relate to this because of something that Gideon said to me… has said to me.  Or maybe he was saying it to someone else and I just overheard it?   Anyway, he said that I have this tendency to tell people exactly what they need to hear, just exactly when they need it most.  Like when I told him guilt makes for a crappy relationship (can’t remember the exact words) and it was in that moment he needed to hear it to realize the truth of his situation with is ex.

I don’t usually realize I’ve done this, and yet I know it happens because Gideon has said he’s seen it happen. Others have said similar as well.   And so I understand and believe… and very much relate to what’s said in these cards.   I love that I have the ability to help people in this way, and I’m okay with not being aware of having done it in most cases. As long as I’m helping others to make their lives better, and thus the world a better place?  I’m good with being oblivious for the most part.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do I need to focus on for self care this full moon?

Dragon Age Inquisition TarotReading Summary: That is one hell of a Three of Staves.  Just sayin’.  This is a newer deck for me and the first time I’ve spent any quality time with it since I received it.  And.. wow on the Three of Staves… just sayin’.

Continue to move forward (Three of Staves), even if it’s done with caution (imagery on the Three of Staves overlapped on the Page of Cups), in the direction of my emotional growth and finding the balance for it in my life (Page of Cups).  Don’t allow my internal anxieties and worries to overshadow this process (Nine of Swords). I’m internally strong enough to keep these things from growing and festering into something that will become a hindrance (The High Priestess).

Take Away:  For self care during this full moon I need to make sure that my anxieties and worries are not standing in the way of getting that emotional growth to a place of pause a safety for the upcoming holiday rush.  This isn’t about backsliding, but it’s about preservation of progress.  Allow my inner strength to shine through and burn off the cloying touch of my anxieties so that I move forward instead of backsliding.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: Generate your birth chart at and scroll down to houses to learn about your zodiac signs per house.


Information on the zodiac signs through each house means can be found here.

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What helps me stay positive?

Haindl Tarot

Reading Summary:  My “cup overflowing” with the love of others (Three of Cups) that is fostered through clear and strong communication (The Tower and the Queen of Swords).

The imagery here in The Tower of this deck is about enlightenment destroying the Tower of Babble.  This creates a dynamic in this specific card in this specific deck where the card has the ability to represent the salvation of good communication. 

In this way, communication doesn’t just bracket the Three of Cups in this reading, but are representative of pillars of strength standing strong on either side of the card of connection and emotion.

Take Away: Communication with those I love and trust helps me to stay positive.  It is the cornerstone of any good relationship, and being open and honest with these people fosters the bonds I have built with them.  I am, in fact, unable to always bring about my own positivity and optimism. I need their help to do this sometimes, and it is with their help and love surrounding me, as well as their wise council, that I’m able to take their support and advice without fear of betrayal.  This allows my trust to flourish so that I am able to share the  deepest and darkest parts of myself.  They are my shaft of light shining into the darkness.


Transitioning from August to September

This is a spread that I do at the end of each month to close out the month.

Month End Tarot Check In - Hilda Tarot, Roots and Wings Oracle

Individuality The High Priestess, Six of Swords, Earth Mother – I’m in the process of trying to find a balance between my intuitive self and my more grounded qualities.  I’ve recently discovered that to find an easy balance is going to take scrapping old methods and rebuilding a dynamic that is more hospitable to both.

Dependence Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Cups, The Divine – As I move further into the fall and closer to the holiday rush, I begin to step away from a sense of wallowing in the comfort and security I’ve created.  Although spirituality will continue to play a part in my life even through the silly season, I am aware that I will need to let go of some practices for a bit until things calm down again.

Creativity King of Wands, Potential, Wildness – I leave behind the shelter of wallowing in comfort in order to reach for what I want out of the months to come.  I focus ahead now, seeking the potential that the holiday rush represents.  It’s a wild ride, but one I willingly do each year as my finances depend upon the holiday rush to balance out.

Limitation Seven of Swords and Perseverance – While looking ahead toward the holiday rush, don’t freak out about the time passing by.  You only have so long to prepare for what’s coming, but you need to accept as well that distractions happen and using time for self care and other things that are good for you  isn’t wasting time.  Yes, it might mean you get a bit less done, but it means that you are building yourself up to last longer in the long run.

Change The Magician and The Void – The Magician has been following me around a lot over the past few days.  It is a reminder that I am a strong and capable person, well prepared and well educated, and more than able to deal with anything that comes my way.  Do not allow uncertainty to convince you otherwise.

Sympathy The Star, The Fool, Vulnerability – These cards are a reminder of a past event that is relevant at this time.  The message here is about how sometimes you just blindly have faith and go after what you want and… even though such times often result in uncertainty and vulnerability… you always end up coming out the other side okay.  Wounds heal… experience lasts forever and teaches you how to deal with things a different and better way the next time.

Luck The World and Transformation – I have a chance to make lasting changes at this time.  It’s important to not look back, and not backslide.  Keep your eye on the prize and reach for those changes and strive for forward motion.  I’ve spent the lions share of this year working at not just emotional growth, but in finding a better balance between work and life.  Now that I am entering into the time of year that is the most stressful for me, I need to make sure that my focus on preparation doesn’t turn into obsession and edge out the progress I’ve made over the last few months.

Power Wheel of Fortune, Knight of Pentacles, Joy – Don’t allow the little irritations and upsets steal away my confidence, my progress, or my joy.  Just yesterday I did a reading that spoke on this.   Shit happens.  You need to roll with the punches and keep moving.  Adapt and continue instead of letting hurdles stand in your way and block your path forward.

Responsibility Eight of Pentacles, Time, Hope – The future opportunity here is about my work and time management. It’s about making sure that I am staying optimistic and using my time wisely to prepare for what’s coming.  I’ve gone through the rush a number of times now. I know what I need to have done ahead of time to make things go more smoothly.

Message from Spirit World – You are capable and strong, knowledgeable and powerful in your own right.  Life is a series of ups and downs, but you have the grounded spirit, the capable hands, and the know-how to take on the world and suss out what you want from it.

Message from Mind’s World – Move forward from the swaddled comfort of the summer and into the new energy of the fall.  This time of harvest for so many is your time of preparation.  Allow your spark to catch fire and lead you forward to where you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally. Preparation for the holiday season is about more than just the supplies and products that need to be made and stockpiled… because you need to be readied as well.

Message from Known World – Spending some time having a bit of fun might feel like a waste of time, but it’s actually a deeply seated need that you have to attend to in order to continue to grow and get to where you want to be not just in the physical world with your business, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

Take Away – Balance. This is all about balance and making sure that I’m not neglecting the needs of my body, mind, emotions, and spirituality by sacrificing them on the altar of work and commerce. It’s okay to take time for yourself.  It’s okay to have a little fun and allow your mind to slide away from work and the business prep for the holidays for a bit now and then.  It will not be the end of the world if you aren’t focusing every single ounce of your attention and energy on what’s coming in November.


Side note:   I just noticed for the first time in this post that when I am doing readings for myself, I bounce between first person and second person as if I am both simultaneously reading to myself as myself… and reading to myself as if across the table from myself.