Taking Time For Gratitude

IMG_6190Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.   The guided part of the meditation was about support.  Specifically, about asking for support from those around you when you need it, and accepting help when it’s offered instead of turning it away out of pride or other misguided emotions.

This is something in myself that I’ve been doing a lot of work with this year.  I struggle with asking for help, and to be honest?  I feel like I’m supposed to be able to do everything my damned self.  So when I then ask for help it’s not so much a blow to my pride as a consternation of a job not well done.   Add on top of that the feeling of inconveniencing others with what I consider to be my responsibilities and… yeah.

But, in working on restructuring how I deal with my responsibilities, I have been trying to ask for help more, and accept it whenever it is offered instead of waving it off with gratitude.

Hush Tarot - Nine of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Nine of Pentacles, which is a representation of independence combined with taking stock of what you have.  This is about self-sufficiency, as well as gratitude for the abundance you have in your life and what you have accomplished.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card is the woman herself and the feathers that she wears.  This is because the woman looks very similar to a character in a movie I watched recently.  I’ve tried all damned day to try and remember the name of the movie, but it just isn’t coming to me.  The thing is, though…. this woman?  Is the spitting image of that one.  I couldn’t get the comparison out of my head.

As today is self care Saturday, I feel that this card today isn’t about the imagery so much about the meaning of the card itself.  It’s about not allowing the pessimism and negative inner dialog to grab hold.  It’s an encouragement to count my blessings and focus upon  gratitude for the abundances in my life.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: What am I ignoring that needs rooted out and dealt with?

20th Century TarotReading Summary: The go-get’em push of passion and drive (Knight of Wands) clobbering emotional wealth (King of Cups).

Hope (The Star) overshadowing despair (Three of Swords) and allowing that hope to lean into the innocent enthusiasm of youth (The Fool).

The three cards at the end are (yet again) about moving carefully and taking care (Knight of Pentacles) as I choose my battles (Five of Cups).   The advice here being not to allow naivete and foolishness to overcome my  caution (the two cards atop The Fool).

Take Away: This deck has a really interesting way of speaking.

The answer to what needs rooted out and dealt with is my impulsivity and negativity.  The cards here (rightly) indicate that there are times when these two things feed off of each other and create disappointing or even heartbreaking situations that could otherwise have been avoided with a bit of caution and restraint.  Taking your time at something isn’t a bad thing, no matter how much it sometimes feels like it should be.


Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_6153Shades of Summer

Vibrant colors
splashed with light
summer’s bounty
shining bright
purples sway
and green abounds
filling senses
with buzzing sounds.

The bees are heavy this year.  I visit this park often in the summer because they have the most beautiful lavender beds and a public garden that, even with social distancing measures, still thrives and is well tended.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Fulfillment, Gratitude, and Joy

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
This week, let’s look at the flip side: fulfillment, gratitude, and joy. Did you know that one of biggest tools against burnout and stress is gratitude? (You know, apart from needed mental health treatment and care.)

Alchemy England 1977 Playing Cards

Where in my life am I experiencing fulfillment?
Ten of Spades

I’m actually feeling pretty good about myself lately.  It’s about that whole “survival” thing.  The fact that I have been through so much, dealt with so many devastating hurdles, and not just survived them but thrived in their wake.  Remembering this gives me confidence, and a feeling of fulfillment that comes from a sense of accomplishment.

What is something in my life this year that I’m grateful for?
Nine of Diamonds

See, the thing is?  Even though the pandemic has sucked ass, and even though I lost all but one of my part time jobs for a good part of the spring and summer… and have only really picked back up half the work load (working for others) that I had pre-pandemic?  I have been able to adjust my finances to take the brunt of these changes without damaging anything other than the amount of time it will take to pay off my mortgage.

Yes, I want it paid off… but I’m relieved to have spent so much time busting my ass to pay the highest amount possible per payment because it prepared me for what’s going on now… when I need to pay less. Because of this, my situation is still stable… and I’m so grateful for that.

What is something in my life this year that brings me joy?
Seven of Clubs

I’m kickin’ ass, baby.  Building off the previous question in a way, what has brought me (and brings me) joy this year is that I have been able to support not just my lifestyle and those that I love with my efforts, but also continue to keep my business thriving during this time when so much has swung out of sync and is not the norm.

What is something in my life this year that I am succeeding at?
Six of Spades

I am succeeding at finding a better way.  A new path. It has taken a good part of this year to work through the psychological process of letting go of how I have done things in the past.  It’s a struggle not to push myself beyond my limits, and actually allow myself the healing rest and recuperation I need.  Walking away from that highly abusive dynamic I had going on previously is not an easy task, not a quick one.  But I am succeeding at it, one step at a time.