Where Are You Going?

IMG_7874Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of today’s guided meditation was perfectionism, and letting go of the need for everything to be perfect and at 100% all of the time.

It brought up the subject of the “80 / 20 Rule”, which is essentially that eighty percent of any endeavor can be smooth sailing, but when you get to that last 20% needed to make something “perfect” it can take as much energy and effort as the entire eighty percent of the project that had come before.

I get what they’re saying, but I really don’t see that as an excuse to give up at the 80% quality mark instead of going for that extra 20% of a job well done.  That said, I do agree that you can’t give that kind of dedication and effort to every single little thing you do or you’ll wear yourself out constantly pushing too hard.  It’s important to use that extra 20% judiciously and make sure you’re not hurting yourself in overextending your reach and energy by pushing yourself too far.

In other words?  Sometimes you just have to let go and be okay with a “good job” instead of a “perfect job”.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of control and direction. This is a card that is filled with action, determination, and willpower… all of which often lead to success more often than not.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery for this card is the fact that the birds are carrying the chariot and its occupant away from the strict organization that lies below.   Instead of heading towards structure and organization, they are literally flying away from it, rising higher and higher in the sky.

The message here is about paying attention to where you’re going. It’s all well and good to be revved up and ready to go, and to plow forward with your hands on the reigns.  But where are you going?

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Neptune Question
: What can serve as an inspiration, or how can I {best} get/stay inspired?

The Mushroom Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes it’s through your unhealthy choices (The Lovers Rx) and being overwhelmed (Ten of Wands) that you find your inspiration. Keep in mind, though, the goals that you want to accomplish along the way (Ten of Cups and Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is an interesting perspective, and one that may help explain why I felt so uninspired over the summer months when I was trying to take it easy.  The pressure and hint of self destruction could very well be a part of what drives my inspiration and motivation… and maybe that’s okay.

But, if it’s going to be okay to indulge in these unhealthy methods to find a modicum of motivation?  I need to make sure I’m keeping in mind the grounded stability and emotional well-being that I’m trying to feed and foster along the way. 

DECK USED:  THE MUSHROOM TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Three Things to be Grateful For…. Card 1 / Card 2 / Card 3

Global Fusion Intuitive TarotTemperance – Okay so moderation is not my strong suit by any means. But, that doesn’t mean I am not grateful for the opportunity to try for it, as well as those that assist me in striving for more moderation in my life. I am striving to invite moderation into my life, and with it allow for more room for self-care and self-acceptance.

Two of Pentacles – Finding a new balance between my work and personal life hasn’t been easy, but I feel like I’ve done really good at finding a better balance over the past year.  Even now during the holiday rush, the addition of meditation and other self care techniques help me in finding a bit more balance than I’ve been able to manage in the past.

The Hanged Man – I am grateful every single day for the ability to put myself in other’s shoes and see things from other’s perspectives.  I cherish the ability to take things in from multiple perspectives and see things from different angles, exploring not ideas and beliefs but all sorts of opinions and perspectives from as many angles as possible to better understand the world and those within it. 

Additional Notes – Aside from the cards and their individual meanings, there is also a connection between the Temperance card, and the Two of Diamonds. This connection is through the violet shades shared between the juggling balls in the Two of Diamonds and the wings of the angel in the Temperance card. This combination further reinforces that through the moderation I strive for, I am finding a better and thus healthier balance than I’ve had in the past.

DECK USED:  GLOBAL FUSION INTUITIVE TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question
: What or who in my life is healthfully feeding or expanding my energy?

Tarot of the Unknown 1st Edition

What in my life is healthfully feeding my energy?
The Wirt (The Magician)

My confidence in my abilities is currently feeding my energy.  The holiday rush is officially here, and where before I worried that I would not be able to handle the rush, I am now no longer in that state of mind and sure of my capability to ride the rush through to its end. This doesn’t mean that it will be difficult, but I no longer am at a place where I am dragging my feet and stalling out, but rather I am energized by the fact that I know I can and will do this.

Who in my life is healthfully feeding my energy?
Lorna (Death)

Death, in this instance, is Z.  Although her appearance on my doorstep was a bit sudden back in the spring, I’ve had a good number of months now to get used to her constant presence so close here in my home.  She is amazing and supportive in a number of ways, and she knows how to give space when space is needed. She also cooks! Providing me with my life-long dream of having someone cook for me on at least a semi-regular basis.

What in my life is healthfully expanding my energy?
Two of Pentacles

My self care.  I mentioned this previously in the Tarotholics reading, and the card here is a carry over from there.  What is healthfully expanding my energy at this time is the fact that I’m able to fit in the self care I need to give my life a bit more balance so that every single moment of my day is not consumed by work and pressure and stress.

Who in my life is healthfully expanding my energy?
Ten of Pentacles

Z and L both. This card is about my home life, and my home life is essentially Z and L. By expanding my energy, what I understand this to mean is that they are expanding how many hands I have to work with, and how much I can get done.  They are here to help me, and they help with making some of the different items in my shops.  L is very good with adhesives, and Z is spectacular with wire and chain.  Together they have been indefensible in helping me stay on top of things.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE UNKNOWN

Slow Burn, Not a Flash Fire

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the bath tub.  It was so… so comfortable but at least I didn’t fall asleep this time.  I very much enjoyed the relaxation in the water for once, though.   Usually I find the tub just uncomfortable enough that I can’t meditate, but today?  It was just right and super comfortable.   Interestingly?  I also find it harder to stay awake as the water gets cooler.  When it’s really warm?  I’m wide awake, but the closer it gets to lukewarm? The more dozy I become.

Botan Tarot - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of controlled progress, and the willpower and determination to go in the direction you want to go in and see things through.

These cards (the Botan Tarot) are so damned beautiful and what stands out to me the strongest in this card today is the hint of wings present in the background behind the figure that is holding the reigns.

What these wings do for me is soften the card.  I often find the Chariot card quite harsh, and yet in this imagery I see willpower tempered by compassion, determination with a touch of restraint, as the wings are spread and thus they are catching air and creating drag. If this card were in motion, I would imagine those wings would not just catch the air but feel as if they billow with it as feathers flutter in the swirling eddies of air currents.

The message here is that it’s all well and good to know where you want to go and have the willpower and determination to get you there, but it’s important to remember that sometimes? Getting there takes time.  Not because you’re forced to go slow, but because you choose to slow down to savor the journey rather than focusing on the end goal alone.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question
: What needs healing on my root chakra? (Deals with energy, stability, comfort, and safety.)

Wiener Secession TarotReading Summary:  I need to work on finding a deeper level of inner certainty (High Priestess) even in times when my life is in a state of flux (The Wheel).   The Queen of Clubs looks on at this message as if to say that by finding this inner certainty I can then flourish more fully in the endeavors that keep my spark aflame.

Take Away:  Unfortunately, outer uncertainty in my life breeds inner uncertainties about myself. That means that when things go wrong?  I don’t just start blaming myself, but also doubting myself.

That inner uncertainty about myself then creates a lack of motivation that keeps at bay the energy of the Queen’s nurturing of my inner spark. This is where a good part of my moments of “meh” come from, and when I feel those moments, I need to take time to observe where the uncertainty in my life lies in that moment, and explore how its influencing my confidence as well as my motivation.

DECK USED:  WIENER SECESSION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Create / Evoke / Balance

Cosmic Tribe TarotCreateFive of Cups – Burnt offerings in a sea of salt. Its time to make more eggshell powder.  The last batch that Id made has lasted for quite some time, but I’ve been needing to make more for a while and keep putting it off.  I should get it done before things become so busy that it has to be put off until the New Year.

EvokeTwo of Wands – I get absolutely no intuitive hit off of the imagery in this card.  So, going by the bare bones of the RWS system… it’s time to start planning for the holiday season.  I’ve been putting it off, to be honest.  Dragging my feet and trying to just… I dunno.  Deny it’s coming?  But the fact is that it is coming, and I’m going to have to get on the ball and get my direction not just meticulously planned out but set in motion.  You can’t get moving until you start get moving.

BalanceNine of Cups – You know that phrase “too much of a good thing”?  Well that goes for everything, including emotional fulfillment and happy feelings.  It’s important to make sure I’m not pushing myself to the point of insincerity.  Working to see the bright side and lean into optimism is one thing, but to the point where it’s fake and just a load of shit?  Too much.  Pay attention to my emotions and how I’m feeling, and be honest with myself about that even when it’d be easier to just put on a happy face and keep moving.

Side Note About This Deck – It’s gotta go.  I don’t get good vibes from the artwork at all.  I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it, but it’s definitely not for me. This is my first reading with this deck, which was added to my collection very recently…. and it’ll be my last.  It just doesn’t feel right.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TRIBE TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question
: A reminder of my personal wealth or personal blessing.

Tarot of the Secret Forest

Reading Summary: The ability to sit out (Eight of Cups) on the battles I need to (Strength Rx) and support others instead instead of engaging (Queen of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I have gotten the message “choose your battles wisely” more than once from the cards over the past week. And here again is that reminder, as the personal blessing that this reading speaks about is my ability to choose my battles.

A lot of times, the battles we fight are not our own, and that is true in my case as well.  There is an encouragement here that it’s okay to not get involved in other’s battles, and to support others from the sidelines instead of diving into the battle myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SECRET FOREST

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I build my confidence?

Science Tarot

Reading Summary: Take time (Temperance) to really explore in depth (Page of Swords) the opportunities available to me (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I’m missing something.   Not in this reading.  I mean that the cards are indicating that I’m missing some key factor in the opportunities currently available to me that could ease my discomfort with uncertainty and boost my confidence.

It’s time to take stock and make some decisions on what I want to happen and where I want things to go.  I always feel better when I have a direction, but on top of that I need to also find a way to become more comfortable with uncertainty.  This was also mentioned in an earlier reading today and has carried over into this one.

DECK USED:  SCIENCE TAROT

Conquering Pessimism

Today’s meditation was forgone for sleep.  A lot of sleep.  Like… way more sleep than I usually get or need.  Between pulling an all nighter last night and then sleeping away a good part of the day… and then taking a nap later in the evening that slept away a lot more of my day, I didn’t have a lot of time for much else and meditation did not make the list when weighed against food, pulling my daily cards, and spending some time with you before sleep once again took over. So… no meditation today and I’m not even going to try and fool myself into thinking I’m going to try at bed time because I’m tired and it’s not going to happen.

The ChariotToday’s draw is The Chariot card, which is traditionally interpreted as being all about controlled progress and triumph.  When I say “controlled progress” I mean that it is not about just control or just progress, but about the combination of both.  It’s about moving forward with your hands firmly on the reigns.

That said, what stands out to me in this card is the position of the Fae on the back of the pegasus.  Arms outstretched, head thrown back, to me this card speaks more about the triumph aspect of The Chariot than it does about the strength of one’s control or willpower along the path.

I see abandon here and the “Fuck YES!” of exultation.

The message in today’s card is to turn my attention to my accomplishments and take pride in those things.  Too often I find myself focused on my failings and struggles, but the truth is that I have just as many accomplishments as I do failings, and just as many things I do well and excel at as I do struggles.  It’s time to take a bit more control of my pessimism and negative self talk by turning my focus in a more positive direction.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: What role does guilt play in my struggle to create and enforce boundaries?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA Tarot

Reading Summary:  Theft of what doesn’t belong to me (Seven of Swords) leading to others feeling without what they want or need (Page of Swords Rx) and turning to me with judging eyes (Six of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  Sometimes when I create and enforce the needed boundaries that are healthy for me, I feel like I’m stealing away time or space that belongs to someone else, leaving them feeling bereft which I then worry will turn into judgement directed my way.  So really, the influence here is twofold.  It’s about the guilt of taking from someone else, and the insecurity of having their feelings about that turn people against me.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to work through my frustrations at this time?

MonstarotReading Summary:  Delve into my creative curiosity (Page of Cups) and allow it to carry me away (The Star) rather than focusing on only (Eight of Swords) the negative aspects and pessimistic views of what I don’t have or that isn’t working (Five of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It’s okay to have a little bit of pessimism, but not when it blinds you to all the good stuff and holds you back from connecting with your imagination and creative spirit. The thing is that pessimism is like a parasite.  The longer it’s allowed to survive and thrive, the more it grows, until it permeates your life and influences everything within it, creating blinders as it goes, so that the longer it thrives the narrower your view becomes.   Escaping that grip takes conscious choices and determination to embrace the more positive and lighthearted aspects of life.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Earth, how can I further support my personal well-being?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary:  The balancing of your obligations and responsibilities (Two of Coins) requires the help of others (Three of Coins).  Be the boss rather than the slave (The Emperor).

Take Away:  This is all about taking charge and delegating.  Don’t just allow things to build and pile up, delegate some responsibility to others to make sure that you aren’t left doing everything yourself.  It’s your nature to take on all the weight, but it’s not all yours to bear.  Take charge and show how you want things done, how you want them to go, and then hand over the task to others to complete for you.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I be more grateful?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary:You need to look at uncertainty (The Moon) from a different perspective (The Hanged Man) that involves you in a place of balanced security (Four of Wands).

Take Away: So a lot of times when I (or anyone really) looks at their insecurities and uncertainties, instead of looking at them from “the outside” in a place of safety, we try to look at these things from inside the chaos and uncertainty.   This then tinges our perspectives.   If you can take a moment to pause, and step outside of the situation, it’s often much easier to see what’s going on more clearly.   This clarity allows for you to not just understand what’s going on, but identify the good and be grateful for it.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

Choice… is a Choice

Today’s meditation is super relaxing. It was a full body scan meditation that started at the crown of the head and went in a very detailed scan all the way down to the tips of the toes.

These yoga nidras are my very favorite types of guided meditation, as the laser focus needed in going through each part of the body assists me in being able to have a completely centered focus without a lot of distractions.

Today’s draw was another combination of doubles, with both again coming out together without a jumper.  The cards in today’s draw are the Chimpanzees (the Justice card, which is the 11th card in the Major Arcana), and the Horse (the Chariot card, which is the 7th card in the Major Arcana.

The Justice card deals with cause and reaction, action and consequence.  It is a card that deals with cause and effect, justice, truth, and “fairness” in the way of balance.   In the guide for this deck, the chimpanzees are associated with the keywords of adaptation, objectiveness, awareness, compassion, and honor.

The Chariot card deals with willpower and determination. Like the Knight card from yesterday, this card deals with the strength to act with precision and control, to direct one’s trajectory, and to move forward in the direction of one’s ambitions.  In the guide for this deck, the horse is associated with the keywords of strength, control, resilience, intuition, determination, and victory.

With the Justice card on the bottom and the Chariot overlapping it, the cards today are telling me that sometimes when you want life to be fair?  You have to make it fair.  That is to say, sometimes when balance is needed, it’s your own strength, courage, and resilience that directs the boat to the results you need.   At these times, you don’t just need a firm hand, but a strong connection with your intuition as well, in order to make the right choices and steer things in the right direction.

This isn’t so much a reflection on my day as it is a reminder that we are not victims of fate, but rather  the master of our own choices.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot