Today’s meditation was… well it was a bit different. That would be because I tried to do my meditation in the bath this time. Since I was soaking in the tub, I thought I’d give it a go. What actually happened, though, is that I started to doze off… twice. So, that wasn’t a very good idea. I never settled in to meditate after I’d gotten out, either. I’ll do it before sleep tonight.
Today’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of emotions that deal with disappointment, disillusionment, and pessimism. Especially in cases where you are failing (or refusing) to see the whole picture.
What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the contrast between the graceful figure and the cold dark surroundings in which she stands. It really makes the “pity party” going on in this card stand out.
The thing is? When you’re focused solely on the pessimistic side of things? You lose out on so much sometimes, but it’s really devastating when it’s the little things you lose out on. In moments when everything feels like it’s gone to shit and you’re wading through the cold snow of disappointments and failures? Not looking for that little nugget of positive that lives in those moments has the potential to just make everything worse… and make the bad linger and stretch on longer… the emotions involved experienced with more depth and for a longer period of time than might be healthy.
The message here is to look for that silver lining. It might be small, it might seem like “nothing”… but sometimes that little bit of nothing can be everything.
DECK USED: MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT
Reading Summary: Work at learning to be happy with what you have (King of Pentacles) and to foster and nurture that outlook it so that it grows (Queen of Pentacles)… It doesn’t all have to be about “more more more” all the time.
There is a link between the Queen of Pentacles and the Knave of Swords in the fact that the girl in the Knave looks like a younger version of the Queen, and wears the same dress beneath her jacket. What I see from this is that growth is possible, but needs a bit of nurturing to get it there and to temper the impulsive urges that slow and steady growth can sometimes spur.
Take Away: I push myself too damned hard and it’s not healthy. I know that, and yet so very often, I can’t seem to help it. The encouragement here is that I need to stay focused on the present right now. I need to nurture my growth and my inspiration, but only in ways that support slow growth instead of fast and hard spurts.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE SWEET TWILIGHT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs my attention in the… past / present / future
What needs my attention in the past?
Knight of Swords – So much of my past has spent spent barrelling forward at full speed, pushing myself harder and harder as I work towards my ambitions. This pushing wasn’t about my passions or interests, it was about my ambitions. The things I felt I wanted in my life, or even felt were absolutely necessary. And in pushing myself so hard, I have cycled through burnout after burnout, driven to always push harder and harder. It’s not healthy and I know that, and yet I cannot seem to help it. And when I do manage to back off on myself? Then I feel shame and self-recriminations concerning whatever it is that I’m not getting done. This issue stems from my past and is something I need to work on addressing.
What needs my attention in the present?
The High Priestess – This is an echo of what the cards told me in my self-care Saturday reading this weekend. It has to do with depending less strongly upon logic and thought, and leaning more heavily into intuition and the nudging of my moral compass.
What needs my attention in the future?
Ten of Pentacles – My goals, my loved ones, my home. Soon, I will be bumping my mortgage payments back up to double. I reduced my mortgage payments by half back in the spring when I lost the majority of my part time jobs. After the holidays, I have every intention of returning my payments back to that larger payment again. This future goal will allow my mortgage to be paid off more quickly, creating a sense of stability (and the opportunity to slow down a bit) sooner. I’m very much looking forward to that.
DECK USED: MURDER OF CROWS TAROT
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: In what way does my spirit guide embody the _____ card?
Spirit Guide Card – The Sun – A sign of hope and warmth and love. A sense of enthusiasm and enjoyment, of optimism and positivity.
In what way does my spirit guide embody the Sun card?
Air (Ace of Swords), Felicity (Nine of Cups), King of Swords
The spirit guide in question embodies the Sun card as they are in my life to help me find emotional fulfillment. I’m very much a Swords person, as I lean heavily on intellect and logic in my day to day life and how I navigate the world. But you cannot become the master of your ambitions and mind without reaching a level of emotional fulfillment along the way. This spirit guide is here to provide opportunities to find that fulfillment by finding ways of blending that logic and intellectual tendency I fall into with the emotional intelligence I need to develop along the way.
DECK USED: TERRESTRIAL TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does this time of year mean to me?
Reading Summary: Gearing up for the busy season with no time to waste (Knight of Pentacles Rx). Change is building into the new reality for the next few months (Death). Struggling to spend as much time as possible with Gideon in preparation for the busy season officially starts (Two of Cups).
Take Away: There are a lot of spiritual connotations that are a part of this time of year, but in truth? What this season really means to me is that it’s a time of “changing gears”. As much as I love the shift in weather, the opportunity to get out in nature more, the thinning of the liminal veil between spiritual planes, etc… what this time of year means more than anything? Is that it’s time to prep for my busiest time of year, which looms in the near future like a giant trying to hide behind a tree and failing at it miserably.