Claiming Control

IMG_7119Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another guided meditation with interval timer.  The guided meditation today also included a chime which was intended to help keep the mind returning to the present and the breath.  This is because the topic of the guided meditation was just that.

That is to say, the topic was about sinking into the present and not allowing fixation with the past or the future to diminish your pleasure in the moment.  The thing is?  Most of humanity has a tendency to do just that.  To either get lost in thoughts of the past and memories, or distracted by plans for the future and daydreams.   These distractions take our mind away from the present, and make it difficult to fully enjoy all that the present has to offer.

Part of mindfulness meditation is the effort to train your mind to spend more time in the present, so that we can then carry that mindfulness of the present forward outside of meditation and into your day to day lives.

Tarot of Haunted House - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is a receptive alpha energy, personality or person in the area of one’s drive, passionate interests, enthusiasms, and willpower.  This often translates into themes that have to do with determination, confident independence, and strong figures that encourage the drive and ambitions of others.

One of the lesser known interpretations of the Queen of Wands lies in the concept of dominant sensuality, as in the blend of dominance and sensuality.   And that is what I see in the imagery of this card today.  I see a confident woman filled with strength and aware of her power and allure.   I see control in her hold on the trident of flames, and sensuality in the piano behind her (that might be just me because of my synesthesia).

The message here is about owning your power.  It’s about knowing your strengths and playing to them instead of disregarding them as useless or yourself as unworthy.  The message in this card is about making sure I know to step into tomorrow with confidence and determination, and place myself through my behavior and my inner strength in a place of power and control… thus owning that control rather than allowing my aunt to have it.


LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
: Ask your cards for something you are destined to explore or face. Draw as many cards as you see fit. Set an affirmation and conclude your reading with “… and so it is.”

Murder of Crows TarotSomething I am Destined to Explore/Face

When I look in the mirror, what do I see?  Do I see the man that I am now? Or the child I used to be?  (Six of Cups)
When I step into my entrepreneurial spark and allow it to fill my focus and time, do I carry with me the strength of the man I am?  Or do I hear my father’s cruel bark? (Ace of Wands)
Instead of listening to that voice of old, it’s time to learn a different way. I need to find the optimism I’ve lost and a way to inject joy into my work… something I had always been discourage from doing in my youth. (The Sun)


By collaborating with others, they bring support into the equation, and allow room to foster joy.  Let them help.  Let them provide that spark of pleasure, and allow them to give me the space I need to breathe and lighten my heart that had once been caged.   So it will be…. and thus so it is.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #1
Question: How can I give myself more space for my emotions, even during the busy time?

Curio TarotReading Summary: This is a learning process (The Hierophant).

The two left cards look into the past, but the wand in the center leans into the future. This speaks to me about how my lack of motivation (Four of Cups) and the desire to bump that motivation into high gear (Queen of Wands) both live in the past, but the practical advice on actually moving forward into my goals and allowing my emotions to have their own space does not lie back there, it lives in the future (tip of the wand in the Queen of Wands pointing to the right).

There is a hint of blue in the first two cards, one over the cup being ignored, and one upon the forehead of the Queen.  This blue feels like the scars my past treatment of myself have created both on my emotions (the cup) as well as my inner dialogue (Queen’s head).

The Hierophant looks into the future and leans in that direction… but his hand is palm up in the direction of the past, as if to indicate that the past needs to be held back or to be given a pause.

Take Away:  To give myself room to feel my emotions (even during the busy time) I need to leave my past in the past. This applies to my past habits, but also the treatment and events that taught me those habits in the first place.  It’s only by allowing the past to be in the past.  This isn’t about burying the past, but rather about accepting where it should live.


#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
: How will the lesson of staying focused on balance, instead of allowing old habits of overworking to have free reign, impact my life?

Hephoe Tapo

Reading Summary: It will allow me to have more focus on my work (Eight of Pentacles) without it damaging my intuitive abilities (High Priestess Rx)… which in turn will allow me to find a more stable center (Queen of Pentacles) and move forward towards my ambitions with clarity (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  When I overwork myself, it has a habit of fizzling out a good portion of my intuitive side.   Things begin to feel unstable and I begin to feel lost and off center like I’m fumbling around drunk in the dark.

By staying focused on balance instead of allowing old work habits to rise up and take control, it gives me the opportunity to avoid being overwhelmed even while I continue with my work, allowing me to have that intuitive connection, stability, and direction that is lacking when I am flirting with burnout.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How important is my spiritual altar to me?

Trionfi della Luna

Reading Summary: It’s more of a reminder of tradition (The Hierophant), than something that I use all the time (Three of Swords). But, it has its place in my journey and in keeping me grounded, as well as in making me feel that I have what I need (Nine of Coins).

Take Away:  I don’t use my altar all that often.  I mean… daily for my daily devotional, but I don’t really need an altar to do that devotional.  Aside from my devotional?  I don’t use it at all actually. My spellcraft is not done at my altar, my research and studies are not done there either, nor do my rituals take place there other than the already mentioned daily devotional.

Ultimately, it is a beautiful spot that is a soothing display of my faith and my values.  I enjoy it and the centered and grounded feeling that standing before it provides, and its beauty as well… but I wouldn’t call it necessary.


Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

The Abandoned Oracke, Mildred Payne's Pocket Oracle, Kult Divinity Lost Tarot, Ludy Lescot Tarot

EarthQueen of Cups, The Beggar, Pentacle – Sometimes, to get what you need, you have to tug on people’s heartstrings. Manipulation has its place in life, and if you’re using it wisely and kindly, it can help yourself and others in positive growth. Make sure before you move to use this type of tactic that you are using it for the right reasons and that it doesn’t niggle at your moral compass.

AirNine of Cups, The Beast, Arrow, Fish – Don’t allow worries about losing your progress and pessimism for the future to disrupt the positive growth you have going on and the potential for positive future progress still on the horizon. Keep your “eye on the ball” and stay positive.

WaterSix of Swords atop Ace of Pentacles, Revenge, Harp – Do not allow yourself to pick yourself apart over lost opportunities that you chose to walk away from.  Some of those lost opportunities may come into sharper focus this week, as will the choices that you made that ended up making those opportunities “lost”.  Instead of falling into the tempting habit of abusing yourself for these choices and missed opportunities, chose a more serene and forgiving approach.

FireEight of Pentacles, The Sculpture, Frog –  Negativity is really working hard this week to slip in and taint your view of your skills and your work. Doubts and insecurities are the dark secret you hold in your heart. Take care not to let these feelings bleed into your creative works. It can happen just as happiness and optimism can, and just as all the positive intentions can, if you allow it.  Take care that you are watchful and making sure only good goes into those pieces you make.

WaningTogarini and Yesod – The Yesod card hearkens back to the advice given in the Fire position of this spread.  The advice here is to focus upon moving away from bullying myself into moving forward into creative endeavors when I’m not feeling it, and thus polluting these endeavors with avarice and dark feelings of discontent.  It is better to step away than put out negativity into the world through the pollution of my my art.

WaxingAnthropos and Nahemoth – The Anthropos card is a sign of an internal awakening and with the Death Angel card atop of it what is seen here is the advice that if I wish to purge the corruption in my energy, I need to get out into nature more. I don’t think I got enough time out in the forest over the summer months, and it is creating an underlying effect that is hidden but there.  Make sure to take some time this week to get out into nature and allow the natural energies there to flow through your own to cleans out the fog and cobwebs.

Take Away – The message this week is a repeat of what I have heard from the cards again and again over the past few days.  It’s about staying positive and not allowing my negative inner dialogue to seep in and screw with my head or my creativity.  On top of this warning, there is also a reminder that my connection with the earth and nature is the way to clear out and loosen internal knots and the fog of negative influences within myself.  I need to make sure I utilize this connection this week.