Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations (from the Calm app, which is where I get the little graphics pertaining to those guided meditations btw) combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches.
The topic of today’s guided meditation was about dealing with our personal inner dialogues and the habit of cruelty and lack of understanding that we direct inward towards ourselves rather than treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we give to others.
This is something that I personally struggle with, and I have been making a concerted effort this year to be kinder to myself and use positivity and optimism to help lift my inner dialogue out of the cruel and savage and into a gentler space. That said, it is still a struggle after all this time, and I know that part of that is my struggle to let go of the past… and the voices of my past.
Today’s draw is is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive, passions, willpower, determination, and inner spark.
I really like this deck… a lot. The imagery is just so… f’ing gorgeous. Every card. Even with the Jesus looking guy as the Magician card. (It very well may be a depiction of Jesus, as I haven’t read the guide book for this deck yet. Even if not? It sure as hell looks like the classic depictions of Jesus.)
Okay, so my fascination with the artwork aside, what really stood out to me today in this card was the flames at the queen’s feet, and the spread wings above her throne.
To me the flames feel like that fire within that figuratively “lights a fire under your ass” to get you moving. In the Queen, this translates to me as someone or something that lights that fire and encourages its burn. The wings further this impression for me, as they speak about giving lift. Encouragement. Providing what is needed to inspire. That energy, personality, or person being the “wind beneath” those wings, so to speak.
The message here is about inspiration. it’s about finding inspiration and fostering it within that inner spark, feeding the fire and using it to keep moving forward. Find strength and determination and willpower within the fanning of the flames, and use theses qualities to keep going despite the roadblocks and hurdles.
DECK USED: HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT
#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Draw a random card and use it to describe a quality about yourself that you love.
Strength – Deep within me beneath the layers of defense and determination. vulnerability and deflection… there is a core of strength. This strength is what has allowed me to survive so much and continue on, to allow myself to be open and receptive to others even through the pain of what has happened in my past. The assaults, the cancer, the rape, the accidents, the abuse, and the betrayals. All of it could have closed me down, closed me off, made me bitter, made me hard and hateful. They could have broken me and made me a victim… or in many cases, could have (or almost did) kill me.
And yet I survive. I am not a victim. I am not broken. I am not bitter or hateful. I choose to not allow these things from my past to destroy the person that I am, the person I want to be, and the person I wish to become.
Side note: This deck’s cardstock is horrendous. It’s essentially unsealed textured printer paper with inkjet printing. I have plans to reproduce this deck for my own use at some point, with better cardstock (and no typos).