Finding Motivation thru Inspiration

IMG_8067Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations (from the Calm app, which is where I get the little graphics pertaining to those guided meditations btw) combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about dealing with our personal inner dialogues and the habit of cruelty and lack of understanding that we direct inward towards ourselves rather than treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we give to others.

This is something that I personally struggle with, and I have been making a concerted effort this year to be kinder to myself and use positivity and optimism to help lift my inner dialogue out of the cruel and savage and into a gentler space.  That said, it is still a struggle after all this time, and I know that part of that is my struggle to let go of the past… and the voices of my past.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive, passions, willpower, determination, and inner spark.

I really like this deck… a lot.  The imagery is just so… f’ing gorgeous. Every card.  Even with the Jesus looking guy as the Magician card. (It very well may be a depiction of Jesus, as I haven’t read the guide book for this deck yet. Even if not? It sure as hell looks like the classic depictions of Jesus.)

Okay, so my fascination with the artwork aside, what really stood out to me today in this card was the flames at the queen’s feet, and the spread wings above her throne.

To me the flames feel like that fire within that figuratively “lights a fire under your ass” to get you moving. In the Queen, this translates to me as someone or something that lights that fire and encourages its burn.  The wings further this impression for me, as they speak about giving lift.  Encouragement.  Providing what is needed to inspire.  That energy, personality, or person being the “wind beneath” those wings, so to speak.

The message here is about inspiration.  it’s about finding inspiration and fostering it within that inner spark, feeding the fire and using it to keep moving forward.  Find strength and determination and willpower within the fanning of the flames, and use theses qualities to keep going despite the roadblocks and hurdles.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: Draw a random card and use it to describe a quality about yourself that you love.

Hans Zatzka Dreamland Tarot - StrengthStrength – Deep within me beneath the layers of defense and determination. vulnerability and deflection… there is a core of strength.  This strength is what has allowed me to survive so much and continue on, to allow myself to be open and receptive to others even through the pain of what has happened in my past.  The  assaults, the cancer, the rape, the accidents, the abuse, and the betrayals.  All of it could have closed me down, closed me off, made me bitter, made me hard and hateful.  They could have broken me and made me a victim… or in many cases, could have (or almost did) kill me.

And yet I survive.  I am not a victim.  I am not broken.  I am not bitter or hateful. I choose to not allow these things from my past to destroy the person that I am, the person I want to be, and the person I wish to become.

Side note:  This deck’s cardstock is horrendous. It’s essentially unsealed textured printer paper with inkjet printing. I have plans to reproduce this deck for my own use at some point, with better cardstock (and no typos).


Morning Bonus Read – A New Month

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This month I want us to focus on our goals. I thought this would be a great tarot spread for the rest of this month :)”

Tarot of Light and ShadowYou at the beginning of this month.
Ace of Serpents atop Eight of Cups

At the beginning of this month you were preparing for the holiday rush and all of the bounty that I was hoping would drop into my lap with extra orders rolling in.  Because of the pandemic, I was uncertain (water in the Ace of Serpents) that I would manage to draw in the orders and income that needs to come in at this time of year to make sure that the rest of the year runs smoothly.  At the beginning of the month I had become to realize that abundance is smiling upon me and diving headlong into the alternate reality that the holiday rush holds me within for six weeks or so out of each year.

Three defining events of this month.

Ten of Wands – Overwhelm and potential burn out.  This is the result of that six month race of too many orders and too little time.  It is inevitable, but can be mitigated a bit to ease its effects by trying to fit in some self care.

Judgement Rx – Am I doing well enough?  Is it going to be enough? Am I going to be enough? Am I doing enough? This time of year is filled with these worries and doubts. There is no way to tell while in the middle of the fray, but these worries drive me forward to work harder and harder, push more and more.

Two of Serpents Rx – There is no balance.  None. It’s something that is struggled with even when things are quiet and smoothly running.  But now is not a time of quiet and smooth, but chaotic and overwhelming.  There is no balance, just as there is no balance every year for these six weeks.  All you can do is do your best to keep moving forward, and eventually restore that balance once the rush is over.

Three defining characteristics of this month.

Six of Swords – A constant focus on the fact that this won’t last forever.  A constant focus on moving forward and riding the wave. A consistently repeated reminder over and over again that this stress and strain and overwhelm is not forever… just for this moment, and that it will soon be over.

The Wheel – There is a lot of uncertainty that comes with the month of December, and a lot of ups and downs because of that uncertainty. In this case, though… things are looking good and the upswing is a beautiful thing.  Needed.  Sooner or later what comes up must always come down tho, so watch out for the downswing that will eventually show up.  Probably next month.

Ace of Wands – The holiday rush is very literally the “seed” of my passion and drive. The business is my drive, my intent, my focus, my goal, and the white hot spark of my ambition.  The holiday rush funds necessary aspects of this endeavor, giving my goals and drive the funds needed to continue forward into the next year.

You at the end of this month.
Ten of Cups

Contentment and relief at having made it to the end.  Pleasure and a breath of fresh air for my emotions now that I can bring them back to the surface once again.  A chance to enjoy the good stuff in life again, including all those things that make me happy and connect again with Gideon and my loved ones. And a bit of an opportunity for some rest (the cup tipped on its side).