Roadkill or Ride

IMG_8259Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long, and was another of the Calm app’s guided meditation with additional interval timer for my piriformis (and forearm flexor) stretches.

Honestly… I don’t remember the theme of today’s guided meditation.  I listened to it, but I was far more focused on the piano chords being played in the background.  There were like… drops of water on a smooth body of water.  Like you could ride those drops from one drip to the next.

It was very peaceful and relaxing.

Fantastic Menagerie Tarot - DeathToday’s draw is the Death card, which is traditionally a representation of organic change.  This is different to sudden and chaotic change like what is represented in the Tower, and is instead about change that develops over time and may, or may not, come to a tipping point at some time along the way.   It isn’t sudden, but a development where something ends so that something new can begin.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the frog on the right hand side holding the cattail like a spear as well as the frog that is beneath the foot of the heron.

The message I see here in the imagery of today’s card is not just about change, but it’s about not resisting change.  It’s about allowing yourself to roll with the changes taking place so that they don’t trample you under their feet in order to just keep moving forward.  Because that change is going to happen whether you fight it or not. So do you want to be roadkill under the change’s tires… or rather take a moment to see the direction change is moving in and make sure you’re on board for the ride?

With today being the last day of the holiday rush, this message rings especially true for me today as a reminder that it’s time to slow down, and to not allow myself to squirm and fight that slowing but take advantage of it to allow myself time to rest and recover from the neglect and abuse I’ve inflicted on myself over the past six weeks.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: Where should I direct my focus this week to foster my understanding towards others?

Winter Waite Tarot 2019 EditionReading Summary: Be consciously appreciative of all you have accomplished (Nine of Pentacles).  Now is a time to put away your authoritative and controlling side of your nature (King of Pentacles Rx) and lean into your intuition and spirituality (The High Priestess). It’s time to find balance once more (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away: The message here is that if I want to be able to be understanding towards others, I need to first take the time to settle myself back into a comfortable and balanced place of gratitude and reconnect with my spirituality first.

I’ve spent the past six weeks essentially neglecting and abusing myself in order to keep up with the holiday rush. I’ve closed myself off from people and even from loved ones on a number of different levels (social and emotional primarily) and I need time to find my balance again.   The cards here are indicating that once I have taken care of myself, it will be much easier for me to direct my compassion and understanding towards others.


Mystic Star December Challenge Prompt
: How can I be more open to the gifts that others wish to share with me?

Dreamland Tarot

Reading Summary:  Don’t be combative (Seven of Wands Rx) when people are trying to reach out to support you (Queen of Cups and Queen of Wands) when you’re feeling overburdened (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  Support can come in a number of different ways.  Sometimes it comes in the form of emotional support.  Sometimes it comes in the form of inspiration or hands-on help with your burdens.   In order to be more open to this support in all of the forms it may come in, I need to make sure I don’t bulk up in defense when it’s offered.  Set pride and ego aside and allow them to reach out and help in the ways that they are willing and able to do so.


The Red Thread – A Dream

In an evening nap today, I dreamed that I was at a hospital and a nurse was performing CPR on a small body. MY body.

She sat in her window in the wall as I stood on the other side of the counter outside of my body and watching.

My body was that of a child or baby, and I watched as the woman’s fingers did compressions and paused to give me breaths again and again. She tried for a total of four cycles, and i watched her through it all. I remember her fingers were dark on my skin, the nail beds more pale than the skin surrounding them as they worked at the compressions on that little chest.

I felt no fear as I watched, only hope and a hint of curiosity.

She then looked up and straight at me. She had so much sadness in her dark eyes. She was lovely with mahogany colored skin and a thin slightly heart-shaped face, and she had such a deep sadness and regret in her dark eyes.

I wanted to tell her it’s okay, and I mouthed the words. Then there was a vision of a red string being cut by scissors… and I woke up.

Winter Solstice 2020 – Yule

The Winter Solstice is today! This holiday is (in essence) the Pagan equivalent to Christmas. Fun fact… when Christmas was placed on December 25th, the church chose that day to coincide with the pagan holiday of Yule (because as most know, Christ was actually born in the spring, not in December).

Although many of us have been feeling like we’ve been in it for months, the Winter Solstice is the “official” first day of winter, and marks  its spot on the calendar not by its date, but by being one of only two days each year where the daylight and darkness are equal.  In my path, this holiday marks a day of hope for the future, and candles are lit to celebrate the return of the sun as it begins to now become more and more prominent with each day that passes and every day becomes longer as the nights decrease.

Winter Solstice Tarot Reading - Light Seer's Tarot, The Green Wheel Oracle, The Spirit Animal Oracle

Like with new moons and full moons, I usually do a spread to check in with myself and give myself some direction for the next couple of months for each solstice, equinox, and other Sabbats. This spread is an adaptation of my Self Care Saturday spread, so there are some similarities in how it is read. The focus of this spread, though, is not about Self Care, but rather about progress and my path. The time period is also longer, reaching through the next handful of weeks until the celebration of upcoming Imbolc at the beginning of February.

Theme of the SeasonMidwinter, Cold Moon, Owl – The Midwinter card in this deck is also titled as “The Hunter” and it speaks of the hunter bringing anarchy and chaos that is then followed by a time of restoration and regeneration. It is impossible not to note that this is the same pattern that you go through in the six weeks leading up to the Winter Solstice, as the chaos of the holiday rush abuses the body and mind and brings you to the point of needing to then rest, restore, and recuperate.

The Cold Moon encourages generosity and the connection and reaching out to others. It is a time when families gather and huddle together, communities support each other, and the cold winter months are survived through interconnection and the uplifting strength in numbers.  In order to stay connected with nature, people bring nature indoors during this time of the year when the elements do not allow as much time among the outdoors in order to decorate our homes with the beauty of nature even in the darkest of seasons.

The Owl in this deck is also known as an “Arrow in the Darkness” and references the owl’s keen senses and focus while hunting even in the darkest of nights.  The Owl is a reminder to stay focused on your goals and not allow yourself to become distracted by the darkness, doubts, or turbulence.

When looking at these three cards together, the theme that I see here is a reminder that it is time to set the chaos behind me and stay focused forward into the goals for healing and self care that I’ve set forth, and connecting with those that hold importance in my heart and my life. Now is a time to reconnect with my feelings, including the compassion I feel for others, and allow it to guide me out of the dark and into the light.

EarthSix of Swords – The spoils of war lie at your feet and now is a time to take stock of what you’ve won with your hard work, dedication, and ambition. As things slow down, take what you’ve won and move forward into a new and better place.  Don’t run away, but make wise decisions that will continue to move you in the right direction.  Don’t look back and rehash what is done and over, look forward.

AirThe World – You have the opportunity to do things differently this time around. Every year you fall into a horrible funk in the handful of weeks that follow the holiday rush.  This is a time when you cycle back to start again and try again to find a better way forward.  Focus on the light and not the darkness. Keep your head up and your eyes forward.

WaterEight of Pentacles – As you move into this new cycle, remember all that you have learned before and carry that knowledge forward with you.  Returning to a healthier way of doing things and an exploration mindset toward your emotional growth will go much more smoothly if you tap into the knowledge, techniques and abilities you have already gained over the past year.  You are not starting from scratch.

FireKnight of Cups – Apologize and be kind to yourself.  The abuse upon yourself this last few weeks has been pretty extensive, and over the handful of weeks ahead you need to turn towards making that up to yourself and being kind.  There’s no harshness needed.  Make helping yourself and loving yourself a priority for a bit.

WaningPanther Spirit – It’s time to let go.  You’ve mustered every shred of power and strength you have to make it through the last five or six weeks.  Now it’s time to ease that grip and let that go.  You do not need to continue holding on so tightly.

WaxingGroundhog Spirit –  An echo of the waning Panther Spirit, the Groundhog Spirit also encourages letting go. All that tension and all those unhealthy tendencies allowed to go on during the rush are now no longer serving you and it’s time to let them all go and return to something healthier and that will serve you much better for the weeks (and months) ahead.

Take Away –  Like the theme of Yule itself, this reading is about seeking the light and moving forward into it.  It’s about new beginnings and finding hope while making healthy choices and connecting with loved ones.