Plans and Circumstance

Today’s meditation was skipped… because I was a lazy fucker and decided to sleep through it.  No, really. It wasn’t that I fell asleep in the middle.  Instead I laid down to meditate and it felt so good that I literally said “fuck it” and rolled over to burrow in and sleep instead.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Wheel of FortuneToday’s draw is the Wheel of Fortune, which is traditionally a representation of the ups and downs that life has to offer.  This is more than about good luck and bad luck, but about the “rollercoaster” of life and how things are never still or stagnant, but always moving and changing.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today has to do with the design of the wheel itself.  It looks like clockworks.  Like very precise, very well designed clockwork.  

What this means to me is that there’s a plan behind what happens in life, the good and the bad.  I’m not Christian and I don’t believe in God in the whole bible sort of way, but there is a truth in the words that “God” works in mysterious ways.    In my case, this is about the energies of creation, evolution, and balance…. the universe, yeah?   And that also works in mysterious ways. 

Some things that don’t look planned have an actual purpose… some things that look planed are utterly random.  The best any of us can do is to follow our moral compass and keep going, one step at a time upon our chosen path… and seek to be better people with each step than we were before. The rest?  It will sort itself out in the end all on its own.


LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
: What am I asked to cut away or let go of for a smooth 2021 journey?

Dark Days Tarot

 Reading Summary:  Impatience (Knight of Pentacles Rx) and stagnancy (Three of Wands Rx). You’ve got this (The Magician).

Take Away:  In order to move forward into the year with the best chance possible of making it a smooth journey, I need to let go of the need to be impatient and push forward for hard and fast progress.  At the same time, I need to make sure that I don’t stall out.  It’s a balance between the two… a balance I have a hard time finding after spending the majority of my life pushing so hard that I’m forced to then crash and recover before starting over again.   The Magician card in this reading is an encouragement to remind me that I can let go of these things and find a new way… I have everything I need at my disposal to do this.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Is it true that pleasure is the root of all true evil?

Occult TarotReading Summary:  When you lose control over yourself and others (The Emperor Rx) there are times when the results turn out positive… but just as many times when the results turn out negative (Wheel of Fortune).  It’s a crap shoot that creates the need for making decisions that aren’t always fun or pleasant (Two of Swords).

Keep in mind that generosity and kindness (Six of Pentacles) does not always equate with being more evolved.

Take Away: I’m surprised by this answer because I was expecting it to be a yes… but instead the answer is No.   Not all evil is rooted in pleasure.  Sometimes it is rooted in circumstance and our reactions to those circumstances.  Sometimes it is about perspective of what true evil really is.  Sometimes, it’s about seeking an escape from repercussions.  Sometimes… the road to hell is paved in good intentions.


New Horizons to Explore

Today’s meditation was skipped.  Not for any particular reason but mostly just because… well, I didn’t feel like it. I know it’s not a good excuse, but it’s what happened.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seed like beginnings of new ideas, new ambitions, new knowledge, or new communication.  The key here is in the fact that it’s the sword suit, which deals with intellect, logic, communication, and ambitions… and an Ace, which is about the seeds of something new.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the moss-like drape of vegetation from the sides of the crown.  The book calls these “laurels”, although… they don’t look like laurel to me.

The reading that I did earlier this morning was about alone time, and making sure that I seek out alone time for myself even when it feels like a waste of time or some sort of frivolousness.   This drape of mossy “laurel” is a reminder to me of that healthy alone time that I need to make sure I’m getting enough of.

The seed of the ace is there to encourage me to look for new ways to get that alone time, new places to go and things to see, new trails to hike and locations to visit so that I continue to stay interested and eager to seek out that needed alone time whenever I’m able instead of losing interest and procrastinating on it.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: What does your inner child crave that you’ve been ignoring?

Earth Bones TarotReading Summary:  You’re paying too much attention to feelings of scarcity (Five of Jars atop Ten of Petals Rx). Step up and take control (The Emperor) instead of doubting your intuition and emotional growth (Page of Jars Rx).

Take Away: Stability and validation concerning my emotions is what my inner child craves that I have been ignoring.  The thing is?  I honestly ignore my inner child as much as possible.  Maybe because it’s called my inner “child” yeah?  I don’t relate well to children and have a hard time relating to that term as I was never really much of a “child” even when I was one. 

That, of course, means that my “inner child” is quite repressed and neglected.  I only let it out to “play” when I’m feeling good, and considering how much time I spend in the slippery slide of depression, crawling out of that dark pit, or hovering right on the cusp of the pit at risk of falling in?  That’s not a lot of freedom for my inner child to get some air.   Right now (not surprising as I’m sliding down that slope of the pit) my inner child is feeling vulnerable and unsure of itself and, due to my trying to ignore the encroaching depression… invalidated.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I stop procrastinating?

5 Cent Tarot

Reading Summary: Take charge (The Emperor) and do one small little thing at a time (Temperance), and you will feel more nurtured and able as a result (The Empress).

Take Away:  Maybe it’s time to start doing a few orders a day, one cleaning task a day, take chores and things that need to be done in bite sized pieces… rather than putting them off to do in large chunks because it just feels like “too much trouble” or overwhelming.  That’s the major excuses that I have for procrastinating most of the time after all…. that it feels like “too much” or “too much trouble” or is just overwhelming for some reason..


Inspiring Changes

IMG_8792Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timing for my piriformis stretches.    The topic of today’s guided meditation was about envy.

I don’t really remember much of the actual guided meditation. I just remember that  it was about looking beyond what people have to the people themselves. Life isn’t about things, but about people after all.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - The TowerToday’s draw is the Tower card, which is traditionally a representation of sudden and sometimes violent change.  This isn’t the calm and steady organic change that comes with the Death card, but rather it is sudden and without warning.

When I drew this card this morning, I had thought the message was about tearing down old to make room for new, and perhaps it still means that… although considering what went on today and the racial slurs that are currently spray painted all over my car?  I’m thinking this could very well have been a warning, regardless of the fact that the question was about being provided with a positive message to provide perspective.

Perhaps… the perspective here is that we need to do some renovations on our security in the building so things like this are less likely to happen. I’ve spent time speaking with the police, and going through security cameras, etc.  Maybe once things have settled down it’s time to call a security meeting and look at making some changes for the better.

Sometimes crap ass shit has to happen in order to light a fire under the ass of change.  That’s today’s message.


LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
: Something I should know about my current passions/desires.

Magical Nordic Tarot

 Reading Summary: You’re going to have to move forward with patience (Knight of Pentacles) because you have a lot of conflict (Five of Wands) surrounding your feelings about the past (Six of Cups). Collaborative help from others (Three of Pentacles) will keep you moving forward and in control of your direction (The Chariot).

Take Away: This message is an echo of this morning’s bonus read.  It speaks of making sure I’m moving in the right direction by working with those I love and that want to support me.  It’s about allowing them to step in and keep me afloat when the influences of my past slip in to start screwing with my head and my heart. If I want to stay on track with my passions and desires, I can’t go it alone. I need the help of others to help keep me on track and healthy while I move forward at a slow and steady pace.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: How can you bring more of what you want into your world?

Tarot of the DivineReading Summary: Be clever and “beg borrow and steal” (Seven of Swords) all the positivity and fun you can get (The Sun). It’s about going after what inspires you (Knight of Wands) with forethought and strategy at your back (Page of Swords).

Take Away: Go after the fun.  Focus on those things that really “light my fire” and get me going.  Use my mind, my wit, and the full force of my skills, abilities, and faculties to go after those things that have the potential to bring positivity and fun into my life.

The key here is twofold.  First, that I put myself “all in” to going after these things.  And second, that I focus on those things that truly foster my happiness and positivity.


Small Steps vs Grand Gestures

Today’s meditation was… oh hell I dunno.  I’m behind in getting my posts up by a few days and I don’t really remember what the meditation was for the 14th.  I’m pretty sure it was one of the days I skipped it though, as I seem to have skipped an entire four days in a row if my timer app can be believed (which, it can). So… yeah. 

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Seven of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Seven of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of delayed gratification, sustainability, and long term progress. Instant gratification this card is not, as all of the themes that this card has to do with involve waiting and the “long game”.

Again, what stands out to me the strongest in this deck is the words at the bottom of the card.   Not that I don’t find the artwork breathtaking, which I do… but the words say “Success Unfulfilled” which… seems a bit negative in connotation when the theme of this card is traditionally more about success being fulfilled over time.

Today’s card is a reminder to me that as I work through the orders that need to be done for shipping out tomorrow, I need to remember that this is the small work that growth is all about.  With every small bit of work, the progress becomes larger… and more.   And over time?  You find yourself at your goals and surpassing them.   But it takes time.   So take a breath and do the small work, and let things build over time.  Not everything has to be a grand gesture or massive action.


LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
: How can I best use my creative energy in support of my future self?

Occult TarotReading Summary: Lean your creative energy into your work (The Magician), and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by whims (Page of Cups Rx).

Take Away: When I’m not feeling particularly grounded, it’s really easy for me to end up distracted. Ideas and little side projects that catch my eye draw me away from my work, and then I struggle to get caught up with my work, etc.  It happens all the time.

The cards here indicate that if I want to use my creative energy in support of my future self, I need to make sure that I turn that creative energy back to my work again and again, taking the skills that I learn from those distractions and reinvesting them into my work.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: What is a really great idea you had but then forgot about?

Garnet Witch's TarotReading Summary: Shifting how I balance my responsibilities (Two of Pentacles) so that I can let some of the weight and responsibility (Magician) die out (Death), and make way for more emotional exploration (Ace of Cups).

Take Away: I wouldn’t say that I forgot about it.  Just… that it got put on the back burner while I was plowing my way through the holiday rush.

The weird thing (and current struggle where this is concerned) is that now that I’m on the other side of the holiday rush, I can’t remember what I was doing that made it feel like I was getting somewhere on this idea prior to the rush’s arrival.