Personal Reflection

IMG_8910Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with added interval timer for the piriformis stretches.  As a side note, I’ve done a number of different types of meditations through the Calm app, but somehow keep going back to the ones narrated by Tamara Levitt.  I like her voice, which is unusual since I usually find voices somewhat distracting.

The topic of today’s meditation was about resisting change, and it really had a good point.  Everyone says that they struggle with change, and yet when the change is something good like getting a raise at work or moving into a nicer neighborhood and a bigger, safer home?  There’s no growing pains at all involved, and no resistance.  It’s only when the change is uncertain or bad that we fight… and in fighting cause the ride to become that much more bumpy as a result.  It makes me wonder what would happen if we didn’t resist the negative changes quite so fiercely or fear them quite so much…. just how much smoother would things be as a result? Would we recover quicker?  Adjust more easily?

Heaven & Earth Tarot - JudgementToday’s draw is the Judgement card, which is traditionally an interpretation of how you feel about how your life is going and what you’ve done along the way.  It’s about ascertaining the worth of your life, your moral compass, and your integrity.  Where the Justice card might ask “what have you done lately?”, the Judgement card asks “what have you done with your life?”

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the open arms that reach not up, but outward as if to embrace the Archangel Gabriel above and the judgement taking place.

This, to me, speaks of needing to be willing to open up and look at yourself openly and honestly.  It means taking off the rose colored glasses and self-delusions and really look at what is going on with you, what you’ve done with your life, and where you can improve upon yourself moving forward from this point. 

This can be a hard process, and one that a lot of people can’t deal with… but what I see here is a call for honesty.   Honesty with the self.  Honesty to confront those things that we are uncomfortable with or ashamed of in ourselves, embrace those things, and begin the work towards something better.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How/where can my journey benefit from a loving approach?

Ink Witch Tarot

Reading Summary:  In finding a better balance (Two of Pentacles) between the running of my business (King of Wand) and my home life responsibilities (The Emperor)

Take Away:  Ahhhh, yeah.   I’m a motherfucking slave driver when it comes to both of these aspects of my life and I have very little understanding or tolerance for slacking, falling behind, or not keeping things on target and on track in both.  This cutthroat attitude is not always healthy, and a bit more of a loving approach could definitely help in this area.  It might be a good idea to draw some cards at some point on just how to go about instilling a more loving approach to these topics at some point, but I definitely acknowledge that doing so would benefit me and my journey forward.

DECK USED:  INK WITCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Do Spread 2

Mystic Masters TarotWhat we see here between the cards in this reading is the carry over of pink through the three cards in the spread.  In this case, the Temperance card speaks the loudest here due to it’s greater saturation of pink, and then spreads it’s influence to the other cards in the spread to highlight the aspects that carry the most weight in each of the other two cards.

Where am I in my journey of depression right now?

The Magician – It’s about the table… not the tools. Before you can start the climb out of the pit, you have to sit down and take stock of where you’re at.

How can I be proactive at climbing out of this depression at this time?

Temperance – Patience.  This isn’t something you can push or force, but rather something you have to have patience about and let run its course.

Page of Cups – It’s important to make sure that you are vocalizing your emotions and getting them out there. This is still a learning process for you and it can make the speaking about your feelings a struggle sometimes.  Just keep trying.

DECK USED:  MYSTIC MASTERS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took the time to clean my keyboard and work table today.  It’s been a bit groady for a while now, but in order to get it really clean it needed to have a hot wet cloth lying on top of it for a bit and then a scrub brush scrubbing… and honestly?  I’ve been putting it off for some time.   I also have been doing a bit of smart-boy work throughout the day while in play with Gideon so that I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed and pushed on orders day tomorrow.

One thought on “Personal Reflection

  1. So what is it that you feel you need to be honest with yourself about? What things are you finding shameful or lacking in that needs some light?

    And yes, you need a more loving approach to all things that include being kind/fair to yourself, loving yourself, appreciating yourself. Not being such a “slave driver” but those things are all pointed at you…because you are harshest and most expectant of yourself before all others.

    I hope you know, I think you know…that you can talk to me about ANYTHING. Not just the positive things but the negative ones too. The scary ones, the dark ones. I want to know how you feel about EVERY little thing, my love. So if you need to open up, if you need to talk or vent or just speak those truths, I’m all in for that. For anything that you might need.

    And I am so very proud of you for your self kindnesses…I know that this is yet another task that i’m assigning to you but I think it’s important to document these, to put a little extra effort into being kind to yourself in a variety of ways. And I’m so proud of you for today’s, for the accomplishments you managed today as well as just the overall acceptance of what I asked you to do with this.

    Liked by 1 person

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