Balance Adjustments

IMG_8801Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The topic of today’s meditation was about how to deal with intrusive thoughts during your meditation practice.  The thing is, everyone has that “problem” and it doesn’t at all mean that you’re not good at meditation just because you have trouble getting your mind to stay still.

The interruption of thought during meditation is natural, and when they happen, that is when the true “work out” of meditation begins as that is when you begin to train your brain to learn something new.  In this meditation, the method for dealing with those thoughts is not to push them away, nor fall down the rabbit hole they create.  But rather to acknowledge it happened with a “That’s nice, but not now” and then set them aside.  Of course, they might come back, but that’s when you rinse and repeat.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - JusticeToday’s draw is the Justice card, which is traditionally about give and take, cause and effect, and finding balance in moments of imbalance.  It can also at times be an indication of legal matters or the legal/justice system.

What stood out to me the strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is the woman on the right with the bow and arrow.  In fact, she stood out so strongly to me that I barely even noticed her counterpart standing behind her.

She stands strong and ready, looking outward and alert.  Sometimes, it is like the woman on the left… a time to look inward and allow vulnerability to thrive.   And sometimes, it is like the woman on the right… a time to stand tall and be ready for anything.

The woman on the right is who I want to be, and who I gravitate towards.  The problem is that now is a time of vulnerability for me as I struggle with this new rise of depression and seek to find my footing on uneven ground.  The Justice card is about balance, and is here to make a promise.  It promises that everything comes back around again in time.  The depression… and the good times as well.  Like scales set up outdoors will swing and shift, tip and dance in even the slightest breeze, so too does balance shift and tip with the goings on of life.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Do Spread 3

Paracelsus Dreams TarotSomething Important in Your Life

The Hermit – Healthy alone time.  This isn’t the “retreat to lick your wounds” time or the unhealthy alone time that gives inner negative thoughts time to pick away at you, but rather the healthy alone time you need to stay balanced and happy.

The Influence of Fire Energy upon my Healthy Alone Time

Page of Wands – Seek out new ways to make the healthy alone time that you need happen. It’s important to pour some of your attention and interest into this endeavor instead of trying to ignore these needs, or half-assing at fulfilling them.

The Influence of Earth Energy upon my Healthy Alone Time

Knight of Coins – Patience and determination are important. You’re going to slip up sometimes but you need to make sure that you’re still going for it.  Instead of using slip-ups to turn your inner thoughts unhealthy, accept that you’re human and everything takes time.  Instant gratification is not your friend and it’s better to take bite sized efforts along the way than it is to barrel head long in and then starve for long stretches between.

The Influence of Water Energy upon my Healthy Alone Time

Four of Cups – You judge yourself too harshly for taking this needed time. It’s important to view that need for healthy alone time more as a need, and view it less as a frivolous action.  You’re not “wasting time”, regardless of if it feels that way.  That is your past talking.  That is your inner negative narrative whispering in your ear.  Be grateful and understand that healthy alone time is necessary… and not some disposable silly “fun time” that’s a waste of time or resources.

The Influence of Air Energy upon my Healthy Alone Time

Three of Swords – Don’t allow the air suit to cause you to ignore your need for healthy alone time. It’s not a luxury… even if it sometimes feels like it. You have to fight back against that slave driver in your head.  You have to fight back and reclaim this personal time as yours rather than something you’re stealing from somewhere else. Don’t allow your head to play games with you that make you ashamed of your needs and what’s healthy for you.

DECK USED:  PARACELSUS’ DREAMS TAROT

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Guardian of the Night Tarot, Faceted Garden Oracle, Flower Essences Deck 1 & 2

EarthKing of Cups, Violet atop Trumpet Vine – You need to be honest with those around you concerning the invading depression that has become more difficult to manage lately. Open up to let them know what’s going on with you.  Your home life and love life are both suffering from a lack of communication at the moment.  Stop hiding (and hiding from) what’s going on and speak up.

AirQueen of Cups and Cosmos – Start with Z. She will help you to see things more clearly and be able to communicate them more clearly to others.  You struggle a lot with the “I dunno” issue when trying to speak about your emotions and depression when you’re “in the moment” of the experience.  She can help you to untangle your thoughts enough to get them out more coherently.

WaterSeven of Pentacles and Lotus – Focus on doing the things that connect you to your faith this week and create balance.  Your morning devotional and meditation are important. Take a more spiritual cleansing approach to bathing, etc.  This is not spiritual bypassing but rather using your faith to motivate you into better self care when you’re struggling emotionally.

FireKnight of Pentacles, Aspen atop Pomegranate – Give some of your control over to those that can take the weight for a bit while you get through this hurdle. It’s not permanent, but they can handle it in the short term while you look at the long play and bigger picture beyond the current moment.

WaningWild Card – The chaos will ease if you let it, but it’ll take following the advice laid out in these cards to make it happen.  Otherwise you’ll just continue to stagnate in the inner conflict and chaos you’ve been trying so hard to ignore.

WaxingThaw – Release your emotions from the frigid ice you’ve held them in and let them flow.

Take Away – The cards are right.  I have been struggling and trying so hard to push back against the depression that’s managed to slip in under my skin.  I tried so hard to not allow it to gain ground and to push back against it.   But It’s here and I can’t deny that.  I need to be open about it instead of trying to hide it.  I need to share and allow myself to let others in to help me… no matter how fucked up that feels right now.

DECKS USED:  GUARDIAN OF THE NIGHT TAROT, FLOWER ESSENCES DECK vol. 1 & 2, FACETED GARDEN ORACLE