One on One

IMG_8536Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

I honestly don’t really remember the topic of the meditation, although I have the sense that I enjoyed it and that something “clicked” with it at the time. Unfortunately it seems that whatever that message was, I’ve either forgot it… or absorbed it and it’s been assimilated into the miasma of my brain already and is no longer an individual.

Tarot of the Hidden Realm - StrengthToday’s draw is the Strength card, which is traditionally a representation of inner strength and courage, as well as having “sway” over others either through compassion, compulsion, or persuasion.

I personally love it when decks use personally familiar animals in their representations for certain cards, and the Strength card is definitely one of those. I have no real familiarity (other than academic) when it comes to lions, whereas using a wolf (as this card did) or a bear (as some others do) is far more familiar to me and something I enjoy a great deal.

For that reason, it’s the wolf that sticks out the strongest to me in this card today, I’m sure.  The woman behind the wolf is secondary, and yet by looking to the wolf and its physical cues, it draws your eyes to her as well for she is not just close, but holds a similar posture.  She appears to be on the same level with the wolf, and the wolf not just in physical position, but also in comfort levels, and as a result the wolf is calm in her presence instead of on the defensive.

Today’s card is a reminder that it’s important to approach people on their level. There will always be times when you will be certain you are correct, or smarter, or better at something.  But when we project those feelings of superiority upon our interactions with another, we become unapproachable as a result and we put other’s backs up, causing a break in the bridge between you and the other person where defensiveness can sneak in and screw up the conversation.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: What do you take too seriously? Why?

Student Tarot v2 Stained GlassEight of Swords:  I take too seriously those things that I try to hide from instead of confront head on (Eight of Swords). This encompasses a good number of things from qualities in myself that I consider to be flaws, to that negative inner narrative. The thing is? When I try to ignore these things instead of dealing with them, it gives them time to strengthen and grow. I just started to learn this just this past year, and have begun trying to deal with these things instead of ignoring them as I have in the past. I still give them far too much weight.

Empress atop Knight of Swords: I take these things too seriously because I have not yet learned how to nurture myself while going after my goals and ambitions.

Seven of Cups: I always feel like I have to make a choice. A choice between being kind to myself or working hard. A choice between self care or my passions and drive. The Empress at the top of everything indicates that this is not a choice but rather an integration.  I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet… but I’m working on it.


Purefield.Healing’s Taking My Power Back Challenge Prompt
: To me, what does it mean to be powerless?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Reading Summary: Being forced to leave comfort and security (Nine of Pentacles) for new horizons (Eight of Cups) where others lead the way forward (Ace of Cups) through whims and manipulation (Three of Cups).

Take Away:  Powerlessness in the face of popularity. I see true powerlessness as being susceptible to peer pressure. The abandonment of one’s own individuality in yielding to the pressures, expectations, and emotional manipulations and machinations of others. 

This answer from the cards was a bit of a surprise.  Not that it isn’t true, but it was not what I was anticipating would come up when I pulled cards for this question. The thing is tho?  I do deeply feel that susceptibility to peer pressure (in its many forms) is a huge weakness. It’s something I help people with in small ways nearly every time I interact with others. I try to help them to see the worth of their own opinions, and the value in their unique differences.

Fitting in is not worth the abandonment of one’s self in the process, whether that self is one’s own personal values, the whisperings of one’s intuition or moral compass, or preferences on what one likes. Willfully choosing to abandon thee things to fit in with others is, in my opinion, true powerlessness made perhaps even worse by the fact that it is a choice, whether it feels like it or not.


Morning Bonus Read – 7 Questions from

The prompt for this reading came from an article on called 7 Questions Every Leader Should Ask Themselves at the End of the Year which reminds us that “whatever chapter of life you are in, ongoing reflection and goal setting will help you turn into a better version of yourself, no matter what happened in your past.”

1. Who or what would you like to praise?
The answer to this can be acknowledging or praising anything: a mentor, a family member, or an inspiring figure. It doesn't matter. The important component of this question is understanding why you want to acknowledge them. So often we aspire and respect others because there is something within them that we aspire to embody within ourselves.

Aurum LenormandGarden – Those that I interact with.  Those in my social circle.  That includes those that I interact with over social media, friends that I keep in contact with over the internet, and the wonderful community I am a part of at Tarotholics.  I’ve never had so much positive social interaction with others as I have over the past year, which is really interesting considering how much of our time around the world has been stuck in-house and on lock-down.

This positive interaction isn’t about me, but rather about the community of others that I find myself in and the wonderful support that they offer to each other (and to me) every day.  It is truly breathtaking to me.

2. What would you like to praise yourself for?
Take the time to really get clear on the strengths you exhibited throughout the year and how you want to continue to grow them moving forward.

Ship – A large part of the past year has been on working on my self care, and a huge part of that process is in the relationship that I have with Gideon.  Although we live nearly 2400 miles (over 3810 km) away from each other, these efforts toward my self care and the time I’ve spent throughout the year with Gideon has only made our relationship that much stronger. His support has helped me in those self-care goals, and supported me through the year in all of my different endeavors, and I hope that I have done the same for him and that he feels the same… because I feel that we are stronger (and happier) than ever.

3. What would you like to let go of moving into 2021?
When you get really honest about what is holding you back, your future won't feel so heavy. This could be letting go of anything from a partnership, a project, an employee, to even a mindset. Look at what or who drains your energy most.

Scythe – Pissed off customers.  Ugh… even when I bend over backwards trying to satisfy them, sometimes you just get those customers that want to be not just pissed off, but also abusive. I wish I could say it didn’t hurt, but if I’m entirely honest?  It does.  It hurts when I can’t make someone happy, especially when it’s my job to make them happy.  Id like to leave dissatisfied customers in my dust as I move into 2021, but unfortunately you can’t please everyone all the time, so there’s sure to be some no matter how hard I try.

4. What did you love most about 2020?
Reflection isn't only dedicated to mistakes or regrets. Spend some time celebrating your biggest wins and the highest moments within your year. While 2020 was a hard year for most, perhaps your biggest win was recognizing the value of connection with others or the importance of your family. Find gratitude for what you have in order to create more positive moments moving towards the future.

Letter – This card is an echo of what is said in the first two questions of this spread.  It involves the connections that I’ve made with others.  The ability to write with Gideon every single day, to connect with people about like ideas and interests.  It’s in the writing… in the communication.  For me, all communication is writing, due to my mutism.  And it is in that communication and connection that I truly found a great deal of joy this year.

5. What would you want more of, or want to be different in 2021?
Review which aspects in your life you want more of, and then outline what changes would elevate your life in that area.

Clouds – When I started off the year last year, I went through a few months at the beginning of the year where I struggled with a fog of confusion and uncertainty.   This year is different, and I’m so thankful for that, but I still feel a hint of that fog this year once again.  Just not as severe or all encompassing.   Hopefully that means it will clear more quickly and not be so severe.

6. What would you need to feel complete closure in 2020?
In order to start the new year with a clean slate, pinpoint what unwanted doors are still opened and then shut them for good.

Dog – Quality time with Gideon.  I need to spend more time with him.  I need to sink into his presence and the security of his arms around me and the trust that I feel in him.  This is what has been lacking so far in the transition into the new year.  I keep being pulled away and so we haven’t had much time together yet… and I need it.  I can’t make the transition complete without that time together.

7. What’s next for you in the week ahead?
While it is very valuable to look at the big picture, there is also great treasure in being present and assessing your immediate needs. When you can look at life from a birds-eye view, it becomes easier to then zoom in and see what you need on a granular level. Tuck the larger vision of the year into your mind and begin to make daily decisions based on this overall landscape.

Key – Positive energy and success.  Everything I need to make this week a positive experience and a success is within my grasp. Make sure to lean into the optimism and use these tools not just to slide back into work with grace, but to defeat that small remnant of fog and send it packing.