Personal Reflection

IMG_8910Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with added interval timer for the piriformis stretches.  As a side note, I’ve done a number of different types of meditations through the Calm app, but somehow keep going back to the ones narrated by Tamara Levitt.  I like her voice, which is unusual since I usually find voices somewhat distracting.

The topic of today’s meditation was about resisting change, and it really had a good point.  Everyone says that they struggle with change, and yet when the change is something good like getting a raise at work or moving into a nicer neighborhood and a bigger, safer home?  There’s no growing pains at all involved, and no resistance.  It’s only when the change is uncertain or bad that we fight… and in fighting cause the ride to become that much more bumpy as a result.  It makes me wonder what would happen if we didn’t resist the negative changes quite so fiercely or fear them quite so much…. just how much smoother would things be as a result? Would we recover quicker?  Adjust more easily?

Heaven & Earth Tarot - JudgementToday’s draw is the Judgement card, which is traditionally an interpretation of how you feel about how your life is going and what you’ve done along the way.  It’s about ascertaining the worth of your life, your moral compass, and your integrity.  Where the Justice card might ask “what have you done lately?”, the Judgement card asks “what have you done with your life?”

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the open arms that reach not up, but outward as if to embrace the Archangel Gabriel above and the judgement taking place.

This, to me, speaks of needing to be willing to open up and look at yourself openly and honestly.  It means taking off the rose colored glasses and self-delusions and really look at what is going on with you, what you’ve done with your life, and where you can improve upon yourself moving forward from this point. 

This can be a hard process, and one that a lot of people can’t deal with… but what I see here is a call for honesty.   Honesty with the self.  Honesty to confront those things that we are uncomfortable with or ashamed of in ourselves, embrace those things, and begin the work towards something better.


LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How/where can my journey benefit from a loving approach?

Ink Witch Tarot

Reading Summary:  In finding a better balance (Two of Pentacles) between the running of my business (King of Wand) and my home life responsibilities (The Emperor)

Take Away:  Ahhhh, yeah.   I’m a motherfucking slave driver when it comes to both of these aspects of my life and I have very little understanding or tolerance for slacking, falling behind, or not keeping things on target and on track in both.  This cutthroat attitude is not always healthy, and a bit more of a loving approach could definitely help in this area.  It might be a good idea to draw some cards at some point on just how to go about instilling a more loving approach to these topics at some point, but I definitely acknowledge that doing so would benefit me and my journey forward.


#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread 2

Mystic Masters TarotWhat we see here between the cards in this reading is the carry over of pink through the three cards in the spread.  In this case, the Temperance card speaks the loudest here due to it’s greater saturation of pink, and then spreads it’s influence to the other cards in the spread to highlight the aspects that carry the most weight in each of the other two cards.

Where am I in my journey of depression right now?

The Magician – It’s about the table… not the tools. Before you can start the climb out of the pit, you have to sit down and take stock of where you’re at.

How can I be proactive at climbing out of this depression at this time?

Temperance – Patience.  This isn’t something you can push or force, but rather something you have to have patience about and let run its course.

Page of Cups – It’s important to make sure that you are vocalizing your emotions and getting them out there. This is still a learning process for you and it can make the speaking about your feelings a struggle sometimes.  Just keep trying.


Daily Self Kindness

I took the time to clean my keyboard and work table today.  It’s been a bit groady for a while now, but in order to get it really clean it needed to have a hot wet cloth lying on top of it for a bit and then a scrub brush scrubbing… and honestly?  I’ve been putting it off for some time.   I also have been doing a bit of smart-boy work throughout the day while in play with Gideon so that I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed and pushed on orders day tomorrow.

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Liminal Spirits Oracle, Mosaic Dream Tarot, Heart Path Oracle Cards

EarthNine of Wands, Monkshood atop Gateway – Your ways are often unorthodox, but you find your path forward just fine with your more creative methods and perspectives.  It might feel right now like you’re at the end of your rope, just remember that a lot of this is perspective.  The poison that kills can also be the poison that heals… it’s all in how you look at it and what you do with it.

AirKing of Cups and Snail – “Curbing bad or dangerous behaviors before they cause irreparable harm or damage.”  This was one of the lines in the guidebook for the Snail card, and it resonated strongly.  It’s important to make sure that you are communicating with Gideon and being open with him about how you are feeling and the thoughts swirling around in your head.  Let him help you in curbing those thoughts before they become behaviors that could cause damage or harm.

WaterEight of Wands, Honey Bee atop Forest –  “It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, but rather a sign of strength.” Again, a quote from the guidebook, this time in relation to the Forest card.  The Honey Bee and the Forest cards are both cards that indicate community, and the harmony of living and working together. The Eight of Wands indicates that now is the time to reach out to those around you for help. With the depression on your shoulders, you can’t do this alone right now.  Allow the others to help.

FireNine of Swords and Snake – You’re at risk of spending a lot of time worrying about the unknown.  Keep in mind that just because you don’t know the answer or don’t understand  something doesn’t make it a bad thing.  Good things are birthed out of the unknown as well… so take a breath and try not to let your negative inner narrative run you ragged.

WaningSpiritual DNA (Serious Alchemy is Afoot) – Don’t worry about the small stuff and all that needs to be done.  Don’t worry about the effect that your depression might have on the future of your business or your endeavors. Stop worrying about what might happen or the “butterfly effects” that could be triggered by this temporary psychological dip.

WaxingSlow and Steady (Standing at the Threshold of Something New) – Instead of worrying about the repercussions of your depression, focus on the climb out of the pit and finding the fresh air and sunlight once more. It’s a journey, and like all journeys it takes time.  Just keep trying… keep looking for the positive.

Take Away – This week’s reading is about surviving the depression and about coaching me in what I need to do to keep myself from sinking deeper.  What to worry about and what not to worry over, what to seek out and what to avoid. It’s a road map to help me find my way in the darkness.