Patience Can Be Progress

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was tagged on to the end of my yoga session.  I needed a little extra time stretching today, so instead of taking time aside from my yoga, I extended my yoga practice and incorporated the meditation into it with the addition of some breathing and focusing exercises.

Japaridze TarotToday’s draw is the King of Gardens (King of Pentacles) which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of measured authority, abundance earned through self discipline, business acumen, and financial/resource security.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card this morning is the blue/black hue of the figure’s face and that the folds on the back of the head looked like a different face to me… and I am left confused. Honestly, the imagery in this card is much like the imagery in the Hermit card in this deck.  Confusing and a bit too random and abstract.  Even in the aspect that I picked out of this card, I really am at a loss.

So, going by the traditional meaning of the card rather than off of the imagery, what I see as the  message in today’s card is a reassurance of sorts.   It is a reassurance that I am doing all I can at this time to provide stability and security in my home to those that depend on me, as well as for myself.

No, my mortgage is definitely not getting paid off at the rate I would prefer it to be, but at the same time?  I am still managing to keep up on it.  I’m still managing to keep everyone safe, and put food on the table, and keep us all in the resources we need to be healthy and happy.  Today’s card is a reminder to acknowledge for myself that I’m doing a good job.

DECK USED:  JAPARIDZE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I better cope with ambiguity?

Tarot of the Animal Lords

Reading Summary: By not getting frustrated (the cage in the Three of Swords), but instead treating it with understanding (Queen of Chalices) and patience (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Usually, ambiguity frustrates me, and that creates a divide between me and the source of that ambiguity.  Instead, if I confront this behavior with understanding, it will create a deeper connection with the source of that ambiguity which will facilitate the potential for progress, while patience will help in getting where I want to go regardless of the wishy-washy bullshit. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE ANIMAL LORDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I better connect with my inner adolescent?

Bleu Cat TarotReading Summary: I am not really all that connected at all with my inner adolescent, which is where the Death card comes into this spread, as it is an indication that I will have to enact change in order to find that connection.

The Queen of Fishes with the Magician indicates that I need to take the emotional growth and lessons I’ve learned lately and use them as tools to apply to the cause (Eight of Balls).

Stalker note… the Queen of Cups seems to be getting very friendly with me this week.

Take Away:  I never really had much of an adolescence.  I was too busy being an adult.  Because of the suppression of this part of my development, I’ve never had much of a connection to this highly underdeveloped side of myself.  The cards here indicate that if I want to have a connection there, it will require long term commitment to the changes needed and using my emotional skills to build that bridge.  

Honestly?  I don’t think that I am yet at the stability phase of my current emotional growth to where I’m prepared to try and make that connection.  Not yet anyway.

DECK USED:  BLEU CAT TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question
: Draw a card for someone who taught you a lesson.

Tarot SireneReading Summary:  I didn’t specify the person, but rather used the cards to tell me who the person is.   The person in these cards is my meth-head ex. His very selfish Knight of Cups pursuit of me landed him in the Justice system (thank the fuck).

Take Away:  So anyway, yeah.  This is him.  And the lesson here?  Listen to your inner compass when it tells you to step back.  I stuck around far too long and paid for it deeply. If I had listened to my instincts and inner compass?  I’d have dumped his ass a lot sooner and probably been able to circumvent the whole obsessive bullshit that followed.  Moral of the story?  Listen to your gut… don’t hesitate or procrastinate.  Just do it.

DECK USED:  SIRENE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What have I let go of?

Tarot Mood

Reading Summary: Using going to bars (Three of Cups) and alcohol (vodka reference in Temperance) to avoid crash-and-burn emotions (The Tower)

Take Away:  It used to be that when I was super upset, instead of grounding and spend time with my plants… I would drink. At those times vodka was my friend, and yet never really solved anything and the feel better was only temporary. After making the promise to you not to do anymore drinking (because I clearly only drink for the wrong reasons), I began using my balcony and the plants there as a refuge and for grounding during times of high distress.

DECK USED:  TAROT MOOD

 

One thought on “Patience Can Be Progress

  1. I don’t think I like this deck too much, and I don’t think it resonates with you very well either. You seem to struggle with it(and I definitely cannot figure it out…it actually causes and uncomfortable reaction for me…kinda jarring and “loud” but it’s all just jibberish and noise, no message, no words or thoughts)

    And when I was reading about you not really having a connection to your adolescence, I thought the same thing, you were forced to grow up and be an adult way too early, so you have a really good reason for that lack of connection. I think you get it most with our play and your softer characters, honestly. I mean they are adults but…just barely, so it kinda overlaps with that adolescent time.

    And I am so glad that you agreed to my no drinking request. It was damaging and destructive and all around bad for you. I love you, my heart. I’m so proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

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